Steel Rush (In the Shadows#5) (5 page)

M
y heart’s racing by the time I reach the library. I hover just outside the closed door, flexing my hands by my sides. Taking a deep breath, I exhale and open the door.

Calder’s standing at the window, his arms crossed behind his back. As he turns, I speak before he can, adopting a formal tone. “Thank you for coming, Calder. I’m sorry my engagement announcement derailed you getting more time with my father yesterday.”

A look of confusion flickers in his eyes a split-second before he starts toward me.

Panic sets in and I quickly shut the door just in case Gregory or Phillip is listening.

When Calder gets closer, his steps slow. The tension on my face is giving him pause. He’s not sure who he’s talking to, Celeste or Cass. Stopping a few feet away, he slides his hands in his pockets, frustration evident. “Forget about yesterday. I came as soon as I heard the police were here last night. What happened?”

The way he’s staring at me with such boldness makes it hard to look away. He’s looking for that spark he claims to see in my eyes. I want to tell him that I’m
me
, but maybe it’s for the best if he thinks I’m Celeste. It’ll be easier to get him to leave without causing a fuss.

“It was all just a misunderstanding,” I say with a shrug as I step around him and walk over to the wall of leather-bound first edition books. Sliding the wooden ladder out of the way, I keep my tone casual as I turn and lean against the bookshelf, facing him. “I arrived home late last night to the police questioning my father. Apparently an ID with my name on it—fake obviously—was found in an abandoned car, along with some blood.” Crossing my arms, I sigh. “Needless to say, once the police left, my father chewed me out for ditching Marco.”

“You wouldn’t be able to ditch me if I were your security,” Calder says, moving closer. Propping his forearm on the ladder, he looks down at me. He’s close enough that I can smell the musky notes of sandalwood in his aftershave. I grip the chair rail edge that separates the lower half of the bookshelves to keep from leaning closer and inhaling deeply. “So you’re marrying Ben Hemmings,” Calder continues. “That seemed to come out of nowhere.”

My heart lurches at the hint of regret in his comment.
Did he care for Celeste more than he let on?
It’s not like I can blame him. We do look like twins, but the question tears at my heart anyway. Would he reveal his unvarnished feelings about Celeste now that Cass isn’t in the room? Celeste definitely thought he was hot. I lift my shoulders and glance away. “Yeah, well when the attraction isn’t returned, we have to move on, Calder.”

“Do you have feelings for Ben?” he asks quietly. The blunt intimacy of his question, laced with an edge of vulnerability, crushes my heart and pulls my gaze back to his.

“Ben is…my shield.” I answer based on the interaction I had with Ben last night after the engagement was announced. It was obvious Ben wanted to protect Celeste. When Calder’s mouth tightens, the proof his feelings run deeper for Celeste pushes a perverse part of me to find out just how much.

What Calder and I shared last night was so raw and real it’s hard to imagine him being with another woman. But we also only had one night. No matter how amazing it was that doesn’t change the fact that he and Celeste had spent a lot of time together prior to that. I hold Calder’s gaze and continue in Celeste mode, “Ben really surprised me last night, showing me that there are definite benefits to having him by my side.” My chest burns with jealousy as I watch Calder’s jaw harden. Spreading my hands wide, I force a smile. “I feel protected now and less worried about stuff.”

When Calder’s gaze narrows, I can’t stand the torture of being this close to his alluring masculine bubble. It’s too tempting to want to yell at him for downplaying his “friendship” with Celeste, so I push off the bookshelf and spread my hands, adopting an upbeat tone. “Thank you so much for coming today, but as you can see, you really didn’t have to. I’m all good now.”

He’s staring at me so intensely that it hurts to hold his gaze, so I step around him and walk toward the door. “I hope you don’t think I’m being rude, but I have an appointment I need to get ready for—”

Calder grabs my hand and tugs, yanking me around to face him.

“
Don’t
,” he grits out as he crowds my personal space.

“Calder!” I try to step back, but he folds his arm around my waist, pinning me to his solid frame.

He bends close, his gaze locked with mine. “I will always protect you.”

“Let
go
of me.” I can’t keep my voice from trembling as I push against his shoulders and try to struggle from his hold. His muscular arm only cinches tighter around me.
I don’t want to know the truth about your feelings for Celeste. It hurts too much.

“Cald—”

He kisses me, his mouth dominating mine, commanding a response. My stomach flip-flops and I whimper against his mouth. My instinct is to kiss him back, but he’s not fucking kissing me. Anger fuels my resistance. I dig my fingers into his short hair and tug hard.

Grunting his fury, Calder clasps the back of my head and clamps his teeth on my bottom lip. The second I gasp at the pleasure/pain, he thrusts his tongue intimately against mine, stripping away my ability to resist. I release his hair to fist the front of his shirt and kiss him back. He makes me forget who I am…who I’m supposed to be. I’m want and need…and passion.

The second I yield to him, Calder pulls back, dark fury stamped on his face. “Don’t you fucking
ever
do that to me again.”

The sudden reprieve from his seduction yanks me back to my senses. Shaking my head to rein in my emotions, I try to pry his hand from around my waist, but he dips his head and bites the side of my neck just below my jawline. The primal move scatters goose bumps across my skin, reminding me how much I crave his touch and aggressive branding of my body. Apparently I wasn’t the only one. I immediately cease my struggles, sadness zapping my fight. Even when she’s not here, Celeste still overshadows me.

As I take a couple deep breaths to hold my tears back, Calder tenses against me. Clasping my jaw, he straightens to his full six-two height and forces me to look into his stormy green eyes. “How could you make me think that the blood the police found in that car was yours? Why would you do that to me, angel?”

I never thought that by pretending to be Celeste that Calder would jump to the conclusion that the blood found in that car was mine. I’m so overwhelmed to know that knee-knocking kiss
was
meant for me that I close my eyes and lay my head against his chest as a shudder of relief runs through me.

Calder slides his thumb along my cheekbone, his touch making my eyes flutter open. “The truth, Cass,” he says, cupping my jaw so I meet his gaze. “Why are you still pretending to be Celeste? What the hell is going on?”

I keep my voice low and tell him everything that transpired once I arrived back at the house last night.

Calder’s jaw muscle tenses several times, but he finally cuts me off when I get to the part where Phillip and Gregory struck a deal with me. He clasps my shoulders, his tone turning cold, deadly. “Get your things. You won’t stay another minute in this house of liars and cheats.”

I’m surprised by his harsh statement. Celeste’s father may lord his authority over his daughters, but I believe he actually does care for them. And he hasn’t lied to me that I know of. I shake my head. “I can’t leave.”

His grip tightens on my shoulders. “The Blake family name has sway, Cass. We’ll find another way to help your dad get his business development approved.”

My heart trips that he would call on his family to help mine even though he’s distanced himself from the Blakes, but I flatten my palm on his chest and shake my head. “You don’t understand, Calder. I might be the only one who has a clue where Celeste went. I feel responsible in a way after having agreed to switch with her in the first place.”

Calder’s brows pull together. “Do you know where she went? Where her appointment was? Why didn’t you tell her family?”

“I gave Celeste my
word
, Calder.”

When I press my lips together, his frown deepens. “I know you feel an obligation, but if you really think she’s missing, you have to start sharing. At least with me. I hope that I’ve earned some measure of trust with you last night.”

He didn’t give away that he knew about my arrangement with Celeste to her father or Phillip when he challenged them earlier, so I know Calder has my back even when he’s worried about me.

“It’s complicated,” I say on a heavy sigh. “What I can say for now is that I saw a snippet of a text conversation between Celeste and someone she has labeled as Deceiver on the cloned phone she gave me. She must’ve been deleting any other texts before I could see them. Whoever this person is—my gut tells me it was a man—he had a strange kind of hold over Celeste, and it was something she was trying to break free of. The gist of the conversation was that he tried to control her and she told him she was going to do something. Her response pissed him off.”

Calder releases me and spears a hand through his short, light brown hair. “Give me the phone and I’ll have one of the guys on Bash’s security team run down this Deceiver’s identity.”

I sigh my frustration. “I don’t have the phone. Phillip took it to try to re-trace Celeste’s steps from last night.”

“Do you think that where Celeste went might have something to do with this Deceiver person?”

“I don’t know if the two things are connected. She was definitely antagonizing him in the texts,” I say on a shrug, then inspiration strikes. “I did send a copy of their conversation to my email. Would the Security guys be able to get the Deceiver’s phone number and identity from that?”

“I’ve sent my contact info to your phone. Forward the email to me and we’ll try.” When I nod, Calder’s brow furrows. “Where did she go, Cass?”

I shrug. “I honestly don’t know yet.” There’s no point in sharing my assumptions. I could be completely off-base. When I saw the search Celeste made on her laptop, my heart sank. There’s usually only one reason a woman goes to that kind of clinic. It would make sense that she would want to go out of town, but I didn’t have time to look up how many clinics in New Jersey fell within eighty miles before Beth texted me that she was dressed.

Celeste’s diary might have more clues if I could decipher what her darkly poetic entries meant. Could the “green greed” and “black deception” she talked about in her entries be the Deceiver?

“I’m going to go through Celeste’s things. Now that I’m here for at least one more night, I can really look over her room. Thankfully her laptop isn’t password protected. There might be more useful stuff on there. I…”

“What?” Calder urges me to continue when I stop talking.

I smirk. “It just hit me that I never told Phillip the password for Celeste’s phone. I wonder how long it’ll take him to realize it?”
And when Phillip asks me for the code, I’ll come up with an excuse to hold it so I can send those texts between Celeste and me to myself.

“Phillip,” Calder snarls. “I don’t like that prick.”

“I agree with you on that. I’ll keep in touch and send you anything else I find once I do a more thorough search on her computer’s history.”

Calder snorts and crosses his arms. “You really don’t think I’m leaving here without you, do you?”

I gape at him. “What? You—you
can’t
stay. Gregory told me he’ll rescind the deal Celeste made with me about my dad if I can’t get you to quietly leave.”

Calder’s jaw muscle twitches. “I told you I’ll find another way to help your father, but if you insist on staying, then you’ve got yourself a new guard because there’s no fucking way I’m leaving you here alone.”

“You must go, Calder,” I say in a quiet hiss as I grip his thick upper arm and try to tug him toward the door, but he doesn’t budge.

His gaze lasers on me. “If Celeste really is missing, that means someone could’ve hurt her. I will
not
leave you unprotected while you’re standing in for her.”

The fact I might be in danger goes right over my head as true panic sets in. I can see Phillip
pointing
the police in my direction and my father’s dreams for his business being snuffed out completely if his pitch gets rejected yet again. I start to argue, but Calder jerks his head once, his rumbling tone harsh. “I don’t care how you sell it with Gregory, Cass, but I
will
be your shadow until you’re back to being
you
.”

“You can’t do this! They’ll call the police—”

He steps close and clasps the side of my neck. “I won’t risk anything happening to you.” Sliding his thumb along the front of my throat, he continues, his tone husky, “I know where you were last night and will absolutely attest to that if the police get involved.”

“But we weren’t together the entire time, Calder,” I say, my voice shaking. “You don’t know what time I left or where I went. You were asleep.”

He cups my face, his hold tense as he pulls me up to my toes. “
I’m
your security for as long as you’re Celeste. Go insist on it, and tell them that I’ll be staying here. There are plenty of rooms in this monstrosity of a house.”