The Darwin Awards Next Evolution: Chlorinating the Gene Pool

The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

The Darwin Awards 2: Unnatural Selection

The Darwin Awards 3: Survival of the Fittest

The Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design

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NEXT EVOLUTION

DUTTON

The Darwin Awards Next Evolution
contains cautionary tales of misadventure. It is intended to be viewed as a safety manual, not a how-to guide. The stories illustrate evolution working through natural selection: Those whose actions have lethal personal consequences are weeded out of the gene pool. Your decisions can kill you, so pay attention and stay alive.

DUTTON
Published by Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.); Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England; Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd); Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd); Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India; Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd); Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rose-bank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

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Published by Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Copyright © 2008 by Wendy Northcutt
All rights reserved
Illustrations by Peter McDonnell and Jay Ziebarth
DARWIN AWARDS is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA has been applied for.

ISBN: 978-1-4406-3677-6

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

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While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

Dedicated to those who kept me sane.

Linux guru Greg Lindahl solved server setbacks and occasionally flicked his long hair my way. Kathleen and Brian De Smet invented the beloved Work Party Barbecue for me.

Renaissance dancers Francis Classe, Matthew Larsen, Crystal Larsen, Rebecca Friedman, impeccable Cynthia Barnes, Carey Cates, Ariane Helou, David Eger & ponytail, Kathy Stormberg, Lee Marshall, Elizabeth Friedman, Leia Mehlman, Molly Thornton, Richard Kimberly, Renée Hollomon, Rachael Lorenz, Trevor Baxter, et cetera.

Dutton big cheese Brian Tart, editor Erika Imranyi, and former editor Mitch Hoffman. Cheerful students Jessica Glickman and Desirée Tonello, playwright Stephen Witkin, artists Peter McDonnell and Jay Ziebarth, legal advisors Michael Cantwell and Henry Kaufman, and as always, the dedicated Slush Pile moderators.

Kenneth M. Hollomon, Renée Menard, witty David Gibson, twirling Lisa Lippincott, Raz Dan, H. Peter Anvin, Suzi Anvin, Barry Eynon, Kevin Haug, multifaceted Chris Kelly, Ildico Stennis, Troy Welch, John Warthog Hawley, Jon Barnard, and dome builders Bob Bushman and Mike Bushman.

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