Steering the Stars (39 page)

       Hannah laughed and clapped her hands together. “I knew it! You love him.”

       I shook my whole body. “It doesn’t even matter anymore.”

       She took a big sip of her hot chocolate. “Why?”

       “Because I saw him with Elise.”

       “And?”

       “
And
,” I said with emphasis, “he’s probably getting back together with her.”

       Hannah set her mug on the table and folded her hands. “Henry is not getting back together with Elise.”

       “Have you talked to him?” I asked.

       She shook her head.

       “Then,” I said on a sigh, “you don’t know that.”

       “I know my brother. And trust me, he’s happy that he and Elise are finally done. He’d been wanting to break up with her for months. He just didn’t know how to do it.”

       “Is that true?”

       “Of course it is,” she said. “Elise probably came up to him and he just didn’t want to be a jerk to her.”

       “It would be okay if he was a jerk to her. She deserves worse.”

       “True story,” she agreed. “But you know him… He’s just a nice guy.”

       And he was. “I know that. You know that he ended up taking me to Homecoming?”

       She nodded. “I saw a couple of pictures on Facebook.”

       “Oh.” I fingered the side of my mug. I wasn’t sure how to ask her my next question.

       “Caroline, I can tell what you’re thinking.”

       I blinked at her. “You can?”

       “Uh-huh. And, no, I don’t think Henry took you to Homecoming just because he’s a nice guy. I think he took you because he actually likes you.”

       “Yeah right,” I muttered, staring down at my hot chocolate.

       “I’m serious, Caroline,” she said, standing up and pushing her chair into the kitchen table. She walked over to me and put both her hands on my arms. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

       “I don’t mean to,” I said. “I just can’t see it happening.”

       “Well…” Hannah shrugged. “Just so you know. I’d be okay with it. You know, with you two.”

       “Do you mean that?”

       “I do.”

       “Not that it really matters now, but I thought for sure you'd freak out if you knew how I really felt. Especially after I was so against you dating Owen.”

       Her head went to one side and she crinkled her blue-grey eyes at me. “Yeah, but in your defense... You were right. I think Owen and I are going to be okay but it was almost a huge disaster.”

       “And who’s to say if—and that is a big, fat if—
if
Henry likes me back and we give this thing—whatever it is—a chance, it wouldn’t end up in a disaster? He’s your brother! I can’t risk that… I’m not the strong one. That’s you.”

       She stepped back and crossed her arms. “First of all, I’m not strong. Second—if you and Henry date and break up, I really don’t think the world will end.” She smiled a little. “You’re important but you’re not
that
important.”

       I chuckled.

       “And, I don’t think you should keep yourself from falling for someone just because you’re worried he might not catch you.”

       “When did you get so wise?” I asked her.

       Hannah threw her head back and laughed. It was a good sound to hear. “God, I’m not wise. If I was wise I wouldn’t have screwed up my chance at Warriner.”

       “What do you mean?”

       She walked back over to the table, picked up her mug, and took a giant gulp. “Well, the thing is… I think I’m actually failing out of school.”

       “No way!” I shrieked. “Hannah, what happened?”

       She said, “It’s bad, Caroline.”

       And I could tell by the look on her face that it was. I rotated my hands in the air encouragingly. “Tell me.”

       “Well, I sort of flaked.”

       “Explain,” I demanded.

       Hannah sighed. “I haven’t written anything that doesn’t suck in months. And because I was feeling like crap, I stopped turning in my writing homework and I didn’t take a test.”

       “What do you mean?”

       “I mean that I sat there in my classroom and stared out a window instead of taking the test.”

       I couldn’t believe that. “No you didn’t.”

       “I did,” she said sadly. “And my teacher gave me a partial pass, letting me do a make-up assignment that’s due Monday. But I have nothing to turn in and that’s in less than twenty-four hours.”

       “Okay, back up,” I told her, lifting my hand. “This doesn’t sound like you at all. Usually I have to keep you focused on real life so you don’t write yourself into oblivion.”

       “Actually, I did write a lot on the plane ride here.”

       “Yeah?” That sounded promising.

       “Yeah,” she said. “It was like everything that I had been holding back for so long just exploded out of my fingertips. But it doesn’t matter. My handwriting is barely legible and there just isn’t time to get the story transcribed to email into Mr. Hammond by Monday morning.”

       “Can I read it?” I asked her.

       “I guess so. But I left my bag out in the car,” she told me.

       I nodded toward the front of the house. “Then go get it.”

       A few minutes later, Hannah was back. There was a bright purple tote bag swinging from her shoulder.

       “My handwriting is awful,” she said as she pulled a small notebook out of the tote. “But I want you to read it if you can. I mean, I wrote it for you anyway.”

       “What?” I looked at her.

       She was almost blushing. “I wrote this for you. So…” She shoved the notebook at me. “It’s yours.”

       I took the notebook and placed it gingerly on the counter beside me. When I looked back, Hannah was watching me expectantly.

       “Did you want me to read it right now?” I asked, uncertain.

       “Oh, no,” she said, screwing up her face. “Yeah, that would be weird.”

       I laughed. “A little bit.”

       “I don’t want to be here when you read it. Just let me know what you think. Unless it sucks,” she said and then paused for effect. “In that case, don’t say anything.”

       “It won’t suck,” I told her confidently. “And I’ll read it tonight.”

       “If you’re sure.”

       “I’m sure,” I insisted.

       After that, we took what was left of our hot chocolate and went up to my room. We sprawled out on my floor and talked about everything we could think of. She told me about what London had really been like for her, and about what had happened with Joel. When she was done talking about him, she started to cry. I hugged her as hard as I could.

       Even though some things were still wrecked, the two of us were together again so I knew everything would be okay in the end.

       It was dark when Hannah finally climbed into her car to drive to Tulsa to check on her dad.

       I watched her drive away, her taillights disappearing around the corner, and then I walked inside. I trudged up the stairs and into my room and sat down at my desk eager to read what Hannah had written.

       It took me two hours to read everything she’d written, and when I was done, I went back and started at the beginning. Hannah had meant what she said. This was our story. It was our friendship from the beginning—from that very first day in pre-K when we’d gotten our lunchboxes mixed up. What she’d written was brilliant and heartfelt and even funny at times. Even though I knew everything that was coming, reading her words felt like living it for the first time.

       I wasn’t sure what Hannah’s teacher expected or what the assignment entailed, but I knew that if anyone read this they wouldn’t be able to deny that she had talent.

       She could say whatever she wanted, but she was a writer. She always had been.

       I stared across my room and an insane idea began to form in the recesses of my mind. It was one of those ideas that was so crazy, so off the wall, that it just might work.

       I turned to my computer and let my fingers hover above the keyboard for a minute.

       Could I do this?

       I was pretty sure I knew what Hannah’s password was because it had been the same since we were thirteen. I typed in HANNAHBANANA123 to see what would happen.

       Her email account loaded.

       I bit down on my lip and glanced at the notebook full of her words. I could easily transcribe what she had written and email her teacher for her. It was sneaky, but it was for a good cause.

       There was no reason for her to fail out of Warriner. Not if I could help her.

       Resolved, my fingers descended on the keyboard and I got to work.

To: Hannah<
[email protected]
>

From: Tillie<
[email protected]
>

Date: November 9

Subject: Where are you?

Hannah,

Are you okay? Joel said that he thought you went back to Oklahoma and that you’re never coming back. Please tell me that’s not true?!

Tillie

____________

To: Tillie<
[email protected]
>

From: Hannah<
[email protected]
>

Date: November 10

Subject: Re: Where are you?

Afraid he’s right..at least partially. My dad had a heart attack so I am back in Oklahoma for the time being. As for the other thing...I’m not sure yet.

I’m glad you emailed me because I’ve been wanting to tell you something… I’M SORRY! I wasn’t very nice to you. You’ve been a good friend to me and I’m not going to forget that anytime soon.

Cheers,

Hannah

PS: Have you ever thought about giving Ruben a chance? I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want things to get awkward, but I think he might like you. Actually, I’m kind of positive he does.

____________

To: Hannah<
[email protected]
>

From: Tillie<
[email protected]
>

Date: November 9

Subject: Re: Re: Where are you?

Ain’t no thang

And, Ruben. Do you really think that?

____________

       Before I responded to Tillie’s message I saw a notification pop up at the bottom of the screen—an email from Mr. Hammond. He was probably wondering where my assignment was. I guess that makes my decision whether to stay in Oklahoma or return to London easy—I was probably already kicked out of Warriner.

From: E. Hammond<
[email protected]
>

To: Hannah<
[email protected]
>

Date: November 10

Subject: Assignment
 

Well done on your assignment.

I am glad to hear that your father is in recovery and doing well. I hope to see you back at Warriner soon.
Sincerely,

Ethan Hammond

____________

     
 
Assignment?
What assignment?

       For several minutes, I stared at the screen of my laptop in bafflement. Then I clicked on my sent messages just to be certain I wasn’t going completely crazy.

       “Holy hell,” I said to myself as I scrolled down the page.

       Sure enough, I had sent Mr. Hammond an email yesterday. It explained about my father being in the hospital and it included an attachment. Almost shaking with anticipation, I clicked it open.

       And there were my words! Right there in evenly spaced black twelve-point font. ALL of my words. All twelve thousand three hundred and fifty-four of them.

       I was stunned. I simply could not believe it. There was only one way that this could have happened. There was only one person who had my notebook and could have typed all of this out.

       “What’s with you?”

       I looked up and blinked. Henry was standing in the doorway of my room eating an apple. He had on a plain white undershirt and a pair of over-washed plaid boxers. His hair, I noticed, was sticking up in about fifty different directions.

       “Nice hair,” I commented, turning back to my computer screen.

       “I just woke up,” he grumbled. “Like I already asked—what’s with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

       “Not quite. I just—I can’t believe it. I had a huge project due and I didn’t think I’d be able to get it done in time and Caroline typed it up and sent it to my teacher for me.” I laughed and shook my head in bewilderment. “I owe her big time.”

       “She’s pretty amazing.”

       I looked at my brother. “So, why don’t you tell her that?”

       “I have, but she… well, you know how she is.” He dropped the apple from his mouth. “And if you’re getting at what I think you’re getting at—I don’t think she’s into it. She’s still got a thing for Miles, doesn’t she?”

       “Oh, Henry, for all of our sake’s—please take your head out of your ass.”

       Henry’s face compressed. “What do you mean? Doesn’t she like Miles?”

       I moaned. “I am not having this conversation with you. I’ve already stuck my nose where it doesn’t belong and that backfired like a mo-fo. So, you can count me out this time.”

       “What are you trying to say, Hannah?”

       “As Caroline’s best friend, I’m not saying anything. But as your sister,” I said with a deliberate wink, “I will tell you that I think you need to get your act together. You don’t want to miss out on the potentially best thing that’s ever NOT happened to you yet.”

       Henry shook his head and some of his hair went into his eyes. God, it really needed a trim. “That made no sense, Jellybean.”

       “It made perfect sense,” I defended. “You just weren’t listening the right way.”

       “Whatever,” he said as he turned away from me. “Girls are so freaking confusing.”

       “Boys are the confusing ones!” I shouted at him.

       Henry lifted one hand behind his back and flicked me off. He actually flicked me off…

       I bent over and scooped up one of the shoes strewn about the floor of my room and pitched it in his direction. Not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough for him to take notice.

       The shoe sailed across the room and I could tell it was going to nail him right on his butt, but at the last minute, Henry turned sideways and swung his hand out to deflect it.

       “Come on. You’re going to have to try harder than that,” he said through his laughter. He was now walking backward so that his eyes were on me.

       I tried another shoe and missed again.

       “I love you too,” he said.

       I stuck out my tongue and he laughed harder. Ugh, BROTHERS!

       When Henry was completely out of sight, I grabbed my phone off my nightstand and sent Caroline a quick text.

You have some MAJOR explaining to do!

      
Less than ten seconds later, my phone rang and I knew it was her before I even saw her name scrawl across the screen.

       “What were you thinking?” I cried in lieu of a hello.

       “I’m sorry! Are you mad at me?”

       “Mad? No, I’m completely blown away,” I told her. “I mean that. You saved the day, Care. Remember that parade I talked about? Well, I’m bypassing the parade and I’m going straight to having you declared a saint.”

       “Stop it.”

       “I’m not going to stop. I owe you my allegiance or my first born or something,” I said, smiling into the phone. “But, honestly, I still can’t quite believe you had the nerve to pose as me!”

       She laughed. “I had to, Hannah! It was so, so, so good. Probably the best thing you’ve ever written.”

       “Shush,” I said, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. “You really think so?”

       “Yes! You had me smiling and crying and…and... of course I wish you would stay here with me, but if Warriner can help you become the writer I know you are, then I’m happy to loan you out for now.”

       My chest constricted with emotion. “I still don’t know what to say.”

       “You don’t have to say anything,” she said solemnly. “That’s what friends are for.”

****

“I can’t believe it’s already Thursday,” I said, rolling over onto my stomach and taking another handful of pretzel M&Ms.

       “What time is your flight in the morning?” Caroline asked.

       I made a face. “Like around eight.”

       “Yuck.”

       “Yuck is right. I’m so out of it already with the switch to Oklahoma time. Going back might make my internal clock combust.”

       We were watching a movie from the floor of my bedroom. Between us was a sea of junk food that included pretzel M&Ms, cheese puffs, Doritos, Twizzlers, and a pastry box packed with different kinds of donuts. Caroline aptly called it my “last hurrah” before going back to London. Because I
was
going back. My sister and I were on a morning flight out of Tulsa.

       Dad had been home for two days and, all things considered, he was doing great. The doctor had prescribed light medication, a new diet plan, and stress management, which basically meant less work and more relaxation. Like, a lot more.

       Yes, he’d griped about the kale smoothie Felicity and I had forced down his throat this morning and I could tell he was itching to check up on work because I’d caught him casting longing glances at his phone while Mom was trying to teach him breathing exercises. But, in the end, he’d resisted the pull and done the breathing like she’s shown him.

       “Tomorrow is going to be the worst,” Caroline commented as she shoved another cheese puff into her mouth. “You’re leaving
and
it’s opening night.”

       I felt a twinge. “I told you that I could stay another day!”

       She swatted at the air with one hand. “No, no! I didn’t mean it like that. It’s probably best if you don’t have to see it.”

       “Care, you don’t really think it’s bad, do you?”

       She thought about it for a while. “Well, I guess not. The last few rehearsals have been... okay. I mean, I haven’t tripped off the stage or fallen into the set.”

       “See? It’s the little things in life.”

       We both laughed. Then we heard a low knock and turned our heads toward the bedroom door to see Owen standing there.

       Caroline was all smiles for him. “Hey, stranger!”

       “Am I interrupting you guys?” he asked, looking between us.

       I was so surprised to see him that I didn’t answer right away. Then I realized that both he Caroline were waiting for me to answer and I jumped up and said, “No, you’re not interrupting us at all!”

       “I heard you were in town,” he started. “Your mom—she let me in.”

       “That’s great,” I said because I had no idea what else to say.