STEP (The Senses) (31 page)

“Can we do that again?” Rayne asked
, snuggling up against Kilter’s side, her hand tracing patterns on his chest. She felt the slight rumble in his chest and glanced up at him. She loved his smile, it filled his eyes with scintillating warmth that sent shivers down her spine. A smile that she used to think didn’t exist, along with the gentleness that came with it. Boy, was she in trouble with this guy, a Senses to boot, and a guy who’d just had his heart smattered to smithereens centuries after the fact.

What she also discovered was that she loved his demands in bed. He made her beg and cry and then beg some more before he let her have release. Then when she thought she’d die from her release, he
’d entered her and had his way hard and fast until she came again.

His fingers curled in her hair while his other hand absently stroked her shoulder. “Babe, nothing would give me greater pleasure, but
—” he put a finger beneath her chin to tilt her head so she had a better view of him, “—we have shit to discuss before the meeting in five minutes.”

She didn’t particularly like the sound of that. “Not much into talking right now or going to any meeting.”

“Hmm, I agree.” He slowly caressed her cheek as he spoke. “How long have you known you could do that emotion-grabbing thing?”

She stiffened and turned over so she was lying on her back while pulling the sheet up over her breasts. Better to talk covered, less vulnerable. Kilter rolled to his side so he was facing her and placed his arm over her abdomen.

“A while.” His arm nudged her and she glanced up at his face, meeting raised brows and “spit-it-out” eyes. “My parents knew about my capabilities and explained them to me when I was about three. But I don’t think they really understood them—well, neither did I at the time. I remember the first time I used my capability. My mother was crying over the death of her father and I crawled into her lap and hugged her to me. I didn’t really understand what I was doing, it was just so natural. I just wanted to make her pain go away.”

He leaned over and kissed her temple.

“She was so astounded—scared, I think. I don’t think my parents were the same as us. They told me about my Scar, but I was told to never talk to it. I didn’t understand at the time, until I was with Anton. I was so scared and alone that I began talking to it. Serafina—that’s what I call my Scar—came to life when I was alone in my room one night.” She looked away from him, her fingers curling in the sheet. “But I lost most of my abilities and Serafina when I was a teenager.”

“Weight loss?” Kilter asked.

She nodded. “At the time I didn’t put it together as I was trying to hide my abilities from Anton. I used to hate it when he made me use them. For hours he’d put me in a room and I wasn’t allowed to leave until I did as he asked. Move objects. Tell him what emotion he was feeling again and again. I wanted to leave that place so badly. I’d have done anything to escape. When I was twelve, before I lost weight and still had my abilities, I tried to leave.”

“How?” Kilter subtly caressed featherlike fingers across her naked skin
, and she wanted to open herself up so she could read his thoughts—if he wasn’t blocking them. But sharing her past was vulnerability and if she read his thoughts, he could read hers, and they were in a whirlwind of anxiety.

“What did you do
, Rayne?” Kilter urged.

If she told him
, would they lock her away like Anton had? Or would they make her use her ability to destroy others? Could she trust Kilter? Would he do that to her?

Kilter’s hand stopped caressing and she glanced up at him. His eyes were intense and staring as he moved his hand upwards and stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. Did he have to be so all
-consuming, with those kissable lips and warm, trusting eyes?

“Baby, no matter what you’re capable of, I will never turn my back on you.” He softly passed the tip of his finger over her lower lip. “Dump your garbage in my lap
, woman, or I’ll blast through that stupid shield of yours and get it myself.”

She wondered if he could do that. No, he’d have done it already. One thing she knew about Kilter was that he had no qualms about reading others
’ thoughts. Besides, he had a microscopic grin on his mouth, which made his eyes sparkle with mischief. “When I held you and . . . well, when I—”

“Sucked out my e
motions like a high-powered Dyson.”

“Ah yeah, whatever that means.”

“Dyson is a vacuum, babe,” he clarified, then chuckled. The unfamiliar sound warmed her insides and she wanted to hug him closer.

“Well, I can go further than that. I mean sometimes I can take in more than just emotions when I touch someone.”
Here goes nothing.
“I can take life,” she whispered, hoping a Sounder wasn’t close enough to hear what she was telling Kilter. It was one thing to tell him what she was capable of, quite another for any of the other Senses to know.

“So you life-sucked someone and tried to escape,” Kilter said nonchalantly
, as if he wasn’t surprised.

“Yes. I . . . well
, I killed him. I’d never done it before, but I had to get out of there. I was so young and I didn’t think it through. I had no plan. Maybe if I’d been smarter I’d have hid my Scar from Anton, and she could’ve helped me escape, but . . . when I was nine he snapped a metal band around my Scar so I could never call to her. It was only removed years later, and by then I was so thin that . . . well, my Scar no longer calls to my voice.” She took a deep breath and continued. “An opportunity came when the guard came to bring me to that awful room where Anton made me practice my skills. As he grabbed my arm to pull me out of the room, my powers surfaced and I couldn’t stop myself. I just . . . lost control. He was shocked at first. I could see it in his eyes when he couldn’t catch his breath. He tried to push me off him, but I kept taking his emotions until his heart stopped pumping, and . . . well, he fell to the floor.

“
I didn’t look back. I ran. I made it to the wall but. . .” The memory was as if it were yesterday, running, terrified and knowing that if she were caught she’d never have the opportunity to escape again. “I couldn’t get over the wall. I just couldn’t. Too many guards were watching the gate so the wall was my only chance, but it was too high. It was too high and they were coming after me. I was weak from killing the guard and couldn’t call on my Scar so . . . I failed. I failed and Anton dragged me back.” A single tear slid down her cheek and Kilter’s finger gently wiped it away. “I didn’t see the sun, moon, rain or sky for months after that. When he let me out of the room, he’d hired Ben, and I knew I’d never have the opportunity again.”

“Christ
, babe.” Kilter tightened his arm around her abdomen and dragged her up against his side. “I’m sorry.” His leaned over, kissed her brow, then nose, and slowly lingered over her lips. “I’m sorry I left you behind. It was selfish and cold and it was cruel.”

“I’m sorry your brother and Gemma did that to you,” she whispered. “I wish I could have been there to . . . I just wish I could have helped you.”

“Me too, baby. Me too.”

Her body reacted to his warmth and
the soft stroke of his lips. A different side of Kilter, generous and giving as if he really cared, as if he was truly remorseful. But it never was his responsibility to save her. It had been her own and now that she looked back, if she hadn’t been living in her own bubble, losing weight day after day, preoccupied with having control within her make-believe world, maybe she’d have saved herself.

“Your ability is like that of no other—that I’
m aware of at least. A Reflection I imagine,” Kilter said more to himself, thinking out loud.

“You know more than I. All I know is what I can do. What kinds of Senses are there?”

“Visionaries like myself, Sounders, Healers, which you’ve experienced, Danielle is a Reflection—able to read emotions like you, and she has this uncanny ability to speak telepathically at a great distance and through steel. Delara is a Tracker and Galen, Keir’s brother, is a Taster. We all share two commonalities—we have Scars and we are all telepathic. Are you able to speak mind to mind?”

He absently ran his finger over her Scar on her inner right thigh. She wondered if Serafina was dead. A sharp pain went through her at the thought.

“I’ve never had anyone to share telepathy with, but I can read thoughts, if I open myself up.” With the weight gain, her abilities were pounding at the door, eager to be released. “And my hearing is pretty good, but not exceptional.”

He kissed her lips, a slow lingering taste that was sweet and gentle, so unlike Kilter. “You’re incredible and strong and you’ve surprised me.”

“Surprised?”

“Hmm, I always knew you were thinking things and never saying them, but when I rose from Rest and saw you again . . .
God it was like a breath of fresh air. You changed, Rayne. You’re becoming the person you were meant to be.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that. Kilter didn’t give compliments easily or lightly.

“I have to ask you something.”

“You can ask me anything
. After what you did for me today…” He took a deep breath. “Babe, you took my emotions, you trusted me not to hurt you when I was so filled with rage. You . . . you have more of me than anyone has ever . . .” He cleared his throat. “Just know you can ask anything of me, okay?”

She felt the tears pool in her eyes and to keep from tearing, she avoided looking at him. “Roarke,” she asked. “What will you do if you find him?”

His body immediately tensed and she regretted asking. “The guy at the gala?” She nodded. “He’s a GQ, babe.” Kilter’s voice was low and soft. “They kill humans and have no remorse for what they do.”

“Roarke does,” she whispered.

Kilter was quick as he threw his leg over her thighs, with his upper body hovering. His grin vanished and in its place was pissed-off. When she opened up her senses, she was bombarded with his fear. She slid the door shut.

“You care about this guy? A GQ? He’d suck the oxygen from your lungs without a second thought.” He pounded his fist into the mattress. “Damn it
, he watched you suffer.” His eyes were hard and unrelenting as he stared at her. She’d seen that face before, she knew it and on other men she’d be fearful, apprehensive, yet with Kilter she saw past that insecurity. Instead, she saw his compassion.

She raised her hand and gently stroked his cheek. “Roarke isn’t like my husband
, Kilter. He will fight to the death and he’s indestructible, but he doesn’t harm or kill aimlessly.”

“No, he just kills so his sorry ass can breathe
.” Kilter’s was voice laced with sarcasm. “And stop calling that bastard your husband. He forced you to marry him, didn’t he?” When she nodded, he continued, “The title doesn’t belong to him.”

Silence.

“He can’t be trusted.”

“Roarke protected me. He kept me away from Anton as much as he could.”

“He should have got you the hell out of there. It’s bullshit.”

“Maybe he couldn’t
.” Yet she often wondered that herself.

“Or maybe he didn’t want to.”

She’d thought about that too. Had Roarke liked that she was a captive? Had he hoped her husband would put them together again? Had he enjoyed what they were forced to do? It had been an experiment, one that failed. Had Roarke wanted her to stay there?

“We have a meeting.” He placed a light kiss on her forehead and slipped out of bed. He stretched his long
, lithe naked form as he stood, and she watched, curious about the man she’d just given her whole heart to. A man who stood so confident and self-assured, yet inside he was broken and hurt.

Kilter slipped on his jeans and black T-shirt while he spoke, “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

“You’re going to hunt him, aren’t you?” she asked, her voice passive as he shoved his feet into his boots.

“Babe, we’re not discussing this now.” He leaned over the bed and put his hand behind her head, pulling her close to the edge effortlessly. Without a second of hesitation, he lowered his head and crushed his lips to hers with bruising force, although it was more possessive and desirable than painful. It was as if he needed to remind himself that she was still here. Was he reliving the past? Was she Gemma in his eyes? Was he trying to redo his past by destroying Roarke? Was Roarke his brother in his mind?

Kilter tossed her clothes on the bed. “Waleron does not take well to being late. Let’s get this bloody thing over with.”

Rayne
stood on the far side of the living room. Kilter, being his overwhelming self, stood next to her with his arm possessively around her waist, pressing her snug against his side. She knew he was uneasy about the meeting. They both knew she’d have to talk about Anton and the compound. It felt as if the
Titanic
were slowly sinking in her stomach, thinking about what she’d have to tell everyone.

Keir and Anstice stood on her right
, and Galen sat cross-legged on the couch, fingers typing away on his iPhone. Jedrik sat on a lounge chair looking haphazard and uneasy with his blond curls in disarray and his usual grin turned upside down.