Stepbrother Bestie (A Stepbrother Romance Novel) (4 page)

After a moment, I decided that I should
get to the bus myself. I was sure that Zachary was waiting for me and would be
at the door any minute to pick me up, if I was not already walking outside.

Once upon a time, when Shawn first got his
car, which he worked so hard to get, he would take me to school. He would offer
nearly every morning, but eventually, we had grown so far apart that he stopped
asking. So even if he did occasionally put the idea out there, I would usually
decline so that I wasn’t disappointed next time his mood shifted.

However, as I walked down the driveway,
and even after I saw Zachary making his way toward my house, I realized that I
had never missed our mornings together more than I did right now.

I didn’t want a car. For my eighteenth
birthday, my mother and stepfather had offered to buy me one, but I had
declined. I didn’t think it was fair that I was able to have one free and Shawn
had to work hard to get his.

Yet, after our eventual growing apart, I
was beginning to think that I had made a stupid, martyr’s choice. Still, my
decision was based on the time when Shawn and I still drove together to school,
so I figured that I didn’t need a car.

It wasn’t just about the ride though, it
was the whole experience. It was the idea that technically, we could do
anything once we pulled out of that driveway. We could go anywhere and the
reason we chose to go to school was because we were good kids.

Still, that didn’t stop us from being late
every now and again to go to breakfast.

I sighed and shook the recollections out
of my mind as I made my way over to Zachary.

“So, how’s the tooth?” he asked, smiling
knowingly as he spoke.

I shrugged. “Not too bad now, even though
it still looks like a bomb went off in my mouth.”

Zachary squinted and stared at me with a
hinged neck. “No. It doesn’t look like a bomb…exactly.” Then, as though he knew
he shouldn’t have said that he shook his head. “Wait…No…I’m sorry. That was
insensitive…I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry…” He smiled, as though trying to make
amends.

I just snickered while I nudged his
shoulder with my arm and shook my head. “It’s all right. I get it. I really
do.”

He caught my eye and beamed proudly.“You’re
beautiful.”

The stark sense of ease with which he
spoke the words caused me to stop short. I stared back at him for a long while
before I answered, “Thank you.”

However, with that, we heard the telltale
signs of the large school bus screeching to a halt and so we did our best to
take off running to catch it.

Later on that day during lunch, I got my
opportunity to speak to Shawn. He was eating lunch with his friends, but
normally, he didn’t mind me stepping in.

After all, before I was his stepsister, I
was his best friend and everyone at the table knew that.

Still, recently, I had shied away,
thinking that he didn’t want me there. But after the weekend we had shared, I
thought that I might try to break the ice, while we were both in our right
minds, devoid of any laughing gas and fully aware of what was going on.

“Hey!” One of Shawn’s friends,, who we
both believe had a crush on me since the first day he met me exclaimed as I
walked up to the table. “I thought you were never going to come back.

Quickly, he slid over in order to allow me
a spot to sit down.

I did so carefully and spread a smile
around the table. “Hi guys!”

Shawn usually sat with two girls, as well
as his group of guy friends, but either they weren’t there today, or Shawn’s
crazy girlfriend had mandated that he not be seen with any other females, other
than herself. I certainly wouldn’t put it past her.

I tried to catch Shawn’s eye, but he
ignored me completely. In fact, he made it a point to turn and engage his
friend in a conversation that I was immediately ejected from, since I had no
knowledge of the game that they were talking about.

I couldn’t help but wince, knowing that he
was trying to avoid me. Yet, I stayed at the table, spoke to the friends that
remained, and tried my best to figure out what was bothering him so much.

Before this, I had known that we had grown
apart, but this seemed different. This seemed like he was obviously trying to
avoid me and that, I really wanted to get to the bottom of.

Chapter
6

Shawn

Well, lunch was awkward.

I remembered what I had said to Valerie
during our time in la-la land together and it wasn’t as though I didn’t
actually feel that way now. But I was just so angry, more at the situation than
at her, but that still didn’t mean that I wanted to have a heart to heart and
talk about my problems. Really, all I wanted to do was get through the rest of
the day and go home, to my mother’s house and just enjoy the silence.

At least there no one was hassling me and
demanding things from me that I didn’t want to give. Granted, no one was there,
but there still wasn’t anyone who would be able to bother me, which I liked.

However, I would not be able to get there
ultimately without a fight. I tried my best though, leaving the first chance I
got, when it wouldn’t look completely out of place. I shifted out of my chair
and made my way out to the picnic tables, which were located outside. It was still
fairly chilly, but I was happy to be away from the tension that was building at
that table.

Yet, almost as soon as I was settled,
waiting for the time to run out on lunch so I make my way to study hall where
Valerie couldn’t find me, I heard the door open and a familiar voice behind me.

“Can we talk?” Valerie asked, fairly
heated.

“Do we really have to?” I squinted my eyes
at her as I looked up against the blustery glare.

“Yes!” She sat down across from me on the
bench. She was glowering at me, but I wasn’t sure why she was so upset. I was
the one who had an ax to grind, not her. “What is it with you?” She demanded
after a pause.

“What do you mean?” I asked heatedly,
matching her tone and expression.

“You just ignored me. Why?”

“Because I normally ignore you.” I
replied, this time with a little bit more venom to my voice than I had meant to
inject, but that also didn’t stop me. “Or have you been too busy having a
perfect life to notice…or even care.”

I was surprised that my harsh words didn’t
seem to resonate as bitterly as I had thought they would. Instead, she looked
as though she felt sorry for me. Her hand immediately came out and clasped
against my own. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Shawn, but I don’t know what I
did.” She stared at me once again with a strange look on her face. She didn’t
seem angry, as I would have guessed she would be, and that bothered me.

In an odd way, I wanted her to feel the
same kind of anger that coursed through me on a daily basis, but instead, I was
receiving compassion. “Just leave me alone!” I growled. “Don’t you get that I
just don’t want to have anything to do with you?”

At this, Valerie’s head craned back and
her eyes narrowed; but she was more confused than angry. “Why, Shawn? What did
I do that was so bad that you can’t even talk to me about it?”

“What gave you the impression that I even
wanted to talk? You seemed to be okay with our relationship, or lack of, going
on like this for a long time now. You haven’t sat at my table in months.”

“Because I didn’t feel wanted,” she
insisted and I was sure that I was ruffling her feathers a little bit.

“That’s because you weren’t,” I spat,
laying it on thick, even though I knew I would feel terrible about it when it
was all over.

She gasped and took back her hand.
However, she didn’t speak at first. Valerie seemed to stop what she was doing
and contemplate what I had just said to her. Once she found the words that she
wanted to use, I supposed, she tried again. “I’m sorry. I thought that after
the other day, after the past weekend, maybe there was an opportunity to get
back what we so obviously lost.” She bit her lip nervously before she added,
“This weekend made me realize how much I missed you and it put into perspective
exactly how far we had grown apart. It made me realize exactly what we had and
what I wanted to get back.” She stopped, sighed and laced her fingers together
thoughtfully. “I guess that just isn’t possible, but I wanted to try…” After
another pause, she added, “Although, I do want to know what it is that destroyed
us, the friendship that we used to have…everything that used to come so
naturally to the both of us. The friendship that we both said would never
fade.”

She stared at me now with a sense of
righteousness.

I thought for a moment, feeling warm under
the keen piercing of her eyes. I knew that I did owe her an explanation, if she
ever asked. I had always known that she deserved that. In fact, she deserved
better, but better was something that I was not able to provide. So, I settled
for just the clarification, at least what I was able to provide, how I
understood it, knowing full-well that she wasn’t going to like it.

“It’s really not you,” I said carefully,
trying my best to calm the anger and the hurt that I was feeling in order to
accurately explain everything to her.

“Okay,” she nodded and continued her
glower as she pressed for more.

“It’s…my father,” I answered, but didn’t
say anymore for the moment. It was fairly strange to me, but having to provide
an explanation to her was very complicated and aggravating. I wondered how I
could feel something so strongly that it was almost painful, but be completely
unable to accurately express to anyone, even the one person, who after all
these years, still knew me best.

“I understand you have some unresolved
issues with your father,” Valerie answered slowly, after she waited a good
amount of time for me to eliminate the obscurity of my position. “But what I
don’t understand is what those issues have to do with me.”

I took a long breath and released it
easily, before I finally blurted, “It’s how he treats you.”

She narrowed her eyes. “He treats me
well…”

“Yes, but you are like
daddy’s little girl
and you’re not even
his little girl.” I couldn’t hide the disdain in my voice now.

“I am very thankful for your father. He is
the only father figure I have ever known. But to be fair, my mother is also the
only responsible, motherly figure that you have ever had consistently in your
life, so I don’t think that either of us should be hurt.”

“It’s not about your mother!” I yelled,
but calmed eventually, not wanting the whole school to hear us. “It isn’t about
my mother, or even your father. This is about my father and the way he treats
you, as opposed to the way that he treats me. I’m his actual son, after all,
but I don’t get anything but a hard time from the man, while all you get is
praise.” As I spoke, I slammed my hand down on the table but quickly realized
how loud I was becoming, once again. I made a conscious effort to stop, since I
had made my point.

At this Valerie stood up and yelled right
back at me, “I’m sorry you feel that way and to be perfectly honest, I don’t
disagree, but I still don’t understand why this is my fault? I didn’t ask for
this. I’m thankful for the way your father has taken me in as his own and I appreciate
it, but I certainly never wanted him to ruin his relationship with you over
it!”

“Valerie,” I spoke sternly, before I took
in a long, calming breath. Releasing it, I said to her, “I’m sorry. You’re
right. It has nothing to do with you, but after he seemed to treat me so
disproportionately for so many years, I couldn’t help but become jealous of you.”
I had regretted the words the second I spoke them and I knew that she was not
going to let me live them down; not after everything else I had said.

Now, instead of looking angry, the main
emotion that she had swirling around inside of her body was definitely hurt.
She stood there, straight as a statue for a long while before she answered,
“Jealousy? Is that really what this is all about? You’re jealous of me…because
of the way your father chooses to treat me?”

“Valerie…” I said as I stood up and tried
to reach out for her, but she casually pulled her hand back from me.

“No.” She stepped away. “I understand now.
As much as I hate to say it, you make perfect sense. It all makes perfect
sense. You can’t hurt your father, so you are trying to hurt me.” She narrowed
her eyes and spoke with a teeming sense of disgust. “You destroyed our
friendship, on purpose, because you were jealous over something I had no control
over?”

“Valerie…I’m sorry…” I answered, moving
toward her again, only to be rebuffed once more.

“No,” she hissed as she recoiled, “you’re
not. If you were, you would have nothing to apologize for. Our friendship was
obviously a matter of convenience to you.” She shook her head. “And therefore, it
never meant anything to you at all.” When she said this, I watched as hot tears
rolled down her cheeks. This bothered me greatly, but as she turned and ran
away from me, just as the bell rang, I realized there was nothing I could do.