That's the problem, you see. My wardrobe looks like the
aftermath of an explosion at an uptight Martha's Vineyard branch of
Tommy Hilfiger. It's the wardrobe of a woman who belongs on the
deck of a sloop, all pastels and stripes, chinos, prissy sweaters
and top-siders. It isn't
sexy.
It's just
nice.
I study myself in the full length mirror, and I'm not at
all happy with what I see. I've never really thought about it
before – hell, most of my friends dress like I do – but now I look
closely at myself I'm realizing just how ridiculous I look. The
long, straight blonde hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. The
pink sweater layered over a white blouse. The tan chinos that do
absolutely nothing to show off my ass (and it's a
great
ass, damn it).
There's nothing about me that's edgy, sexy or cool.
Rafe, on the other hand, looks like he's just stepped off
stage. Sure, I've only see the one photo of him, but he looks like
the kind of guy who screws groupies and trashes hotel rooms. It's
not that his grungy, unwashed look is
better
or anything, but he just looks... more
grown up. Less like a kid, I guess. I look like a fucking Country
Club Barbie, and what's worse I look like I still
play
with Barbies.
Believe me, there isn't a young woman on the planet who wants to
look like that.
"Get it together, Maddy," I scold myself
under my breath as I tug the sweater over my head, followed by the
blouse. "He's just a guy."
I really can't figure out why I even care
about what Rafe will think of me. Sure, he's hot, but what does
that matter? It's not like anything could happen between us. He's
my stepdad's son. He might as well be some sexless robot for all it
matters.
But still I study myself in the mirror and wonder what I
can do in the next five minutes to make myself look hot.
It's just a self
confidence thing,
I'm telling myself.
I don't want any guy to think I'm not a catch,
even if we
are
kinda related.
It's only as I'm slipping my pants down my
thighs that I hear the front door swing open through my window. I
hop over to the window, still tugging at my pants, and look down to
see a figure with golden brown hair sitting on the steps, looking
out into the street as if he has no interest in coming inside.
"Rafe, it's so nice to finally meet you!"
Mom calls out in a manically cheerful voice, standing in the
doorway as if she's guarding it.
Dad walks down the steps and crouches down
on his haunches beside Rafe. He looks like he's been practicing
this all day. "Son," he says softly, placing his hand on Rafe's
knee, "I'm so sorry I wasn't around for you. If I'd known..." He
shakes his head. "Well, I just wish things had gone differently,
you know? I'm glad we finally have the chance to get to know each
other."
Rafe suddenly stands and turns to the door,
pulling dad's hand away. "Yeah, it's like my birthday and Christmas
rolled into one. I'm as giddy as a fucking schoolgirl." He pushes
past dad and heads for the door. "I'll be in my room."
Uh oh. That didn't go as planned.
Rafe shoves past mom and vanishes into the
house. Mom looks shocked, but dad just shakes his head. "Give him
time, he'll come around."
I duck back in through the window, kick off my pants and
rush over to the wardrobe, fishing through the piles of discarded
clothing for something –
anything –
that looks at least halfway cool. I might as well
search for a Big Mac on the Burger King menu. This is a fucking
pastel train wreck. I'm looking at the wardrobe for the cast of the
Brady Bunch.
Jesus,
is this a neckerchief? Why? Why would anyone allow me to
buy this? Why wasn't there a neckerchief intervention?
"Oh, sweet. My room comes with a free
girl."
I freeze and squeeze my eyes tight. It's weird, but the
first thing that pops into my head is a line from the first
Jurassic Park movie. You remember that scene where Jeff Goldblum
and Sam Neill are standing beside their Land Cruiser, and the T.
Rex is searching for them? '
Keep absolutely still. Its vision is based on
movement.'
Maybe if I just stay still Rafe will lose track of my
ass.
OK, so that probably doesn't work with
humans. Now I'm wondering if I wish hard enough I might be able to
turn back time by about ten seconds, so I could close the damned
door before I bent over and pointed my ass in the air wearing
nothing but my ugly laundry day underwear: an old bra with perished
elastic on the right shoulder strap, and a stupid pair of pink
panties covered in cartoon characters.
Nope, that didn't work either. I'm still
bent over my pile of clothes, my door is still open, and only now
I'm remembering that these damned panties are thin as fuck. If Rafe
can see past the cartoon ponies he can totally see my pussy through
the fabric.
Aaaaaaand
I'm still crouching here, thrusting my ass towards Rafe as
if I'm inviting him in for a quick dirty fuck.
Bad first impression, Maddy.
When your stepbrother sees your pussy before he see your face...
well, that's not ideal.
I finally snap out of it and turn around slowly, grab a
shirt from the massive pile of clothes as I go, and hold it in
front of my chest like armor.
No more peep show for you, my friend.
The moment I see him my breath catches in
my throat. I must look like an idiot. Rafe leans casually against
the door frame, an olive green military duffel bag slung over one
shoulder. The rope strap cuts into his tight gray t-shirt, twisting
the fabric sideways, making it cling to his body.
Jesus, are those his pecs?
My eyes move down Rafe's body to his torn
blue jeans. I can tell right away that these aren't the kind of
artfully distressed jeans that sell for $200 in the mall with a
fancy brand slapped on the ass, but just regular old Levi's that
have been torn to shreds over years of wear.
I trace the contours of his body, back up
past the torn knees, flitting quickly over the obvious crotch
bulge, across the twisted, wrinkled fabric that clings to a
perfectly formed six pack and bulging pecs, and up to his
face.
Rafe wears an amused smirk, and he meets my
eyes without a hint of embarrassment at my nakedness. One eyebrow
arches a little higher than the other, and as I watch he runs his
fingers through his messy, tousled mop of hair. I can feel the
hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention, and the room
suddenly feels about 10 degrees warmer.
Oh God, I can't stop myself imaging all
sorts of naughty things. All these images are just flashing through
my mind, like Rafe unzipping his fly and bringing out his thick
cock as I fall back on my heap of clothes and spread my –
Jesus, stop it!
"So... do you talk, or are you like one of
those French mimes? Are you trapped in an invisible box? Should I
get help?"
Shit. I didn't realize I'd been staring. "Hilo! I mean
hello. Hi.
Fuck.
I'm Madison."
Smooth, Maddy, real fucking smooth.
Rafe looks at my door and taps the
nameplate screwed there. It says 'Princess Maddy', and it's pink
and covered in glitter.
"Yeah, I kinda figured that one out for
myself," Rafe smirks.
"That was a gift!" I blurt out defensively. "I mean, my mom
put it up when I was a kid. I've been meaning to take it
down."
Damn
.
Could I possibly look any more like a stupid little Disney
fan of a girl? This abso-fucking-lutely isn't the first impression
I was hoping to make.
Rafe swings the duffel bag over his
shoulder and drops it by his feet. "Yeah, that's sweet," he says,
stifling a yawn. "Did she also give you those hot little My Little
Pony panties?"
Without thinking I yank the shirt down to
cover my embarrassing underwear, and the world suddenly shifts into
horrifying slow motion as I realize what's happening. The button of
the shirt collar somehow hooked in beneath the strap of my bra, and
when I pull it down the perished strap snaps with a sharp twang.
The first I know of it is the painful sting of recoiling elastic
against my belly, and I look down with horror to see that the cup
of my bra has fallen down with it. My right tit is completely on
show.
"Jesus!" I yell, wrapping my arm protectively over myself.
"Get out! Get the fuck out!"
World, swallow me up
.
Rafe just smiles as he slowly lifts his bag
from the floor, as if my tits are the fifth set he's seen since
breakfast, no big deal. 7 out of 10, bonus points for perkiness.
He's still smirking as he vanishes behind the door frame. I bolt
across the room, slam closed the door and flip the lock, just in
case he strolls back in for another look.
Oh God oh God oh my fucking God!
I feel the blush begin to rush
towards my face, and I can already tell it'll be a serious one.
It's the kind of blush that starts in my toes and spreads to cover
every inch of skin, and will return every time I remember this
moment as long as my heart continues to beat.
Mortified, I quickly tug on an old t-shirt
and shorts before hurrying over to the bed and diving beneath the
safety of the sheets, then I grab my phone and dial Penny.
A few awful seconds go by as I listen to
the dial tone, and I almost cry with relief when Penny finally
picks up. I have to tell someone about this or I'll just
explode.
"So, is he here?" Penny asks right away,
hungry for gossip.
"Jesus! Pen, you won't believe what just happened. Oh, this
is bad. This is
soooo
bad. Rafe saw my tits!"
Penny cackles. "Way to go, Maddy! I can see
I've taught you well, my child."
"Pen, I'm being serious! He just walked into my room and my
shitty old bra snapped while we were talking!
Fuck,
that was embarrassing. How am I ever
going to face him again?
Fuck!
"
Penny stops laughing just long enough to
make an attempt at reassurance. "OK, settle down, crazy girl. Look,
they're just tits. We all have them. Half the girls I know have
accidentally flashed their brothers. Hell, Brad's always walking in
on me when I'm naked. He must have seen my tits a thousand times.
My pussy, too. Trust me, it's not a big deal. Brothers and sisters
get used to it. You're just, like, ahead of the curve.
Congratulations!"
Unbelievably, Penny's words actually help a
little. What she's saying makes absolutely no sense, of course –
she's known her brother all her life, and there's no way Brad could
look at Penny with anything approaching lust. I've known Rafe for a
grand total of 30 seconds, and I've been half naked for all 30.
It's not the same thing at all, but the fact that Penny seems
pretty chilled out about it settles me down a little.
"So you really don't think I should be
worried?"
"Well," replies Penny, "if you want to really rush this
whole brother-sister milestone thing along you kinda need to get a
look at his cock to even things out. Y'know, tit for...
tat
."
"Penny!" I swear that half my conversations
with my best friend consist of me trying to stop the fucked up shit
that comes out of her mouth.
"Yeah, you get a nice, long look at that
tat, Maddy,” she purrs suggestively. “Even better if it's good and
hard at the time. Maybe you could even get down and give it a
little kiss. Maybe open your mouth and --"
"OK, I'm hanging up now!" I cut her off and
disconnect the call. It's OK, she's used to it. Most of my calls to
Penny end the same way.
For the next ten minutes I stay safely
hidden under the sheets, wishing I could just have the house to
myself again; wishing I didn't have to worry about the guy in the
next room over. Eventually, though, I figure I may as well tear the
band aid off quickly. Rafe isn't going anywhere, and I know I'll
have to face my embarrassment sooner or later.
Second impressions are a thing, right?
Once again I change – making damned sure
the door is locked this time – back into my boring chinos and white
blouse. I don't care how cool I look now, so long as I'm covered
up. Now the My Little Pony panties have made an appearance the idea
that Rafe could ever think I'm cool, edgy or sexy is pretty much
out the window. From now on I'll always be the kid with the cartoon
panties.
When I'm completely certain I haven't
popped a button or torn a hole in my pants I unlock my bedroom door
and slip out into the hallway, then stand silently for a minute to
psych myself up before knocking on Rafe's bedroom door.
Get it together, girl! This is your house!
Fuck, why does he make me feel like I need to ask permission to
speak?