Stepbrother Forever: A Stepbrother Romance (34 page)

The age difference is going to
be hard for my mother to swallow. My father scarred her for life leaving her
for a younger woman. Jayson is significantly older than me, and I know she will
be less than pleased. She still treats me like a child as it is and won’t
believe I could be in love with a man, anyway. And knowing what she knows about
Jayson already, her opinion is going to be tainted. There is no way she would
approve.

On the other hand, we can’t
help who we fall in love with. I know Jayson loves me, even though he hasn't
actually told me yet. As crazy as it is, I know I love him, too. Many people
wouldn’t understand, but it’s my mother I care about and how she will feel. I
also don’t know how comfortable I will feel having my boyfriend as my stepbrother.
We are in no way related, but it is definitely an awkward relationship to
define, nonetheless. Especially when you add our age difference to the
equation.

Why does it have to be so
complicated? Why is it that when I finally meet someone who cares just as much
about me as I do about him, there has to be so much more involved than just our
feelings?

I wonder if Jayson has heard
the news yet. I don’t want to call him now, but we are going to have to address
it at some point very soon. I don’t know how he will react, if at all.

I’m turning all of these
thoughts over in my head for so long that I don’t realize how much time has
passed. I shut the television off and get up to shower. I never called Rachel,
so I just send her a text that I’m running late and will call her later. There
is way too much to tell her now in the amount of time I have, anyway.

I finish getting ready and
leave for work. I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate today. I have too
much on my mind. I wish I could rewind to this morning when I felt blissful and
peaceful, but I can’t. Now I need to move forward with this new information and
hope whatever decision I make is the right one. I honestly don’t know if there
even is a right one.

I know what I want, and I
believe Jayson and I have a future together, and that’s all that should matter.
I can’t let all of these other things get in my way. My mother will have to
accept my decision, and being adult enough to talk to her about it will be big
help in her acceptance.

____________

I do the best I can to work
through the day. Even though I’m busy the day just drags on. Sometime during
the lunch rush it starts raining out, which further enhances the melancholic
mood I’m in.

When I get a break between
shifts, I sit at the bar with my lunch and a drink. I don’t feel like talking
to anyone, so I take out my phone and try to look busy. I see a simple text
from Jayson:
Miss you.
I want to ask
if he heard the news yet, but don’t want to spoil Tom’s announcement if he
hasn’t told his sons. I decide not to approach that topic until a later time
and just write back
Miss you too
and
put my phone away.

I clean up after myself and get
ready for the dinner shift. My mood hasn’t lifted at all and it’s still
raining, which means the dinner crowd will be lighter than usual.

A couple of hours into the
evening, I feel like this has been the longest day ever. My head is starting to
throb, probably from a combination of too much thinking and the weather. I
can’t wait to get home and crawl under my covers.

I’m delivering a tray of
coffees to my last table when I see Rachel and Chris walk in and I have my
first real smile since I got here today.

Rachel waves at me and they
head over to the bar. My spirits lift a little and I work a little faster to
close out my section. As soon as the table gets up, I am wiping it down and
resetting it so I can end my shift. I wash up in the bathroom and join Rachel
and Chris at the bar. Sam is in front of me with an extra-large glass of wine
before I even sit down.

“You look like you need one of
these—at
least
one,” Sam says as he
passes me the glass.

“Thanks. I do,” I reply and
turn my attention to Rachel and Chris.

“Hey, guys! Nice to see you
here.” They each stand and we hug.

“You’re hard to track down
lately. I figured this was a good way to find you,” Rachel teases. We each take
a sip of our drinks and sit down.

“Yeah. It’s been a little crazy
lately,” I start, and then give them a summary of what has been happening. I
don’t mind talking in front of Chris. As my best friend’s
 
boyfriend, we’ve spent a lot of time
together and I know she would tell him most of it, anyway. Plus it’s nice to
have a male point of view on things, sometimes.

I end the story with my mother
getting engaged to my new boyfriend’s father. Rachel and Chris have listened
attentively and I know I can count on them for some honest advice, like it or
not.

“Okay, where to start…” Rachel
begins. “As much as I hate to say it, I think you may have found love.”

“Why do you hate saying it?”
Chris interrupts.

“I told you about my first and
only meeting with Jayson. Wasn’t a big fan,” Rachel replies.

“Oh, yes. That’s right. I think
you referred to him as ‘the asshole.’_” Chris takes a swig of his beer. “Sorry,
go on.”

“Anyway, I think all weirdness
aside, your mom should understand that you might be in love and love is hard to
find. You can’t—or shouldn’t—have to give that up because your mother doesn’t
approve, or because of this newfound relation between your families. You’re all
adults, so what you do is your own business,” Rachel advises.

“Really, Ashley, we can’t help
who we fall in love with. It sucks your mom already compares Jayson to your
father, but just because he’s older doesn’t make it the same. You’re not the
woman on the side. He’s not leaving a twenty-year marriage for you. She’s going
to have to get over that fact. She also has to stop caring so much about what
everyone around her thinks,” Rachel finishes. I am so lucky to have this girl
as my best friend.

“What she said,” Chris adds.
“And also, men can be total dicks, but it sounds like this dude is sincere. If
you let him go before really giving it a chance, you will regret it.”

“He’s right. That’s how I got
stuck with him in the first place,” Rachel jokes.

We hang at the bar and talk
some more. Thankfully, the subject changes to their vacation and random gossip
about some mutual friends. My mind still wanders back to Jayson, but I’m happy
to be talking about something and someone else. I love having these two on my side.

I know what I have to do. I
have to talk to Jayson first and see what he knows. As long as he still wants
to move forward, I will have to face my mother. I don’t know what her actual
reaction will be, I can only hope that she takes the news better than I’m
anticipating. From what Jayson has said, I don’t think Tom will have any issues
with our relationship, but then again, you never know. Eric and Matt will both
have to be informed, but part of their job as our brothers is to support us and
then torment us, so I kind of know what to expect there.

We finish our drinks and Rachel
and Chris decide to head out to the bar next door for another round. I don’t
really feel like joining them tonight. After working a double and this
emotional roller coaster of a day, I’m ready to head home.

On my way to my apartment, my
phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s Jayson.

Have
you heard the news?

Yes,
I reply. My phone rings almost immediately thereafter.

“Hello,” I answer on the first
ring. I know it’s Jayson.

“Hey, beautiful. Are you okay?”
he asks me. As uptight as I’ve been all day, I find the sound of his voice so
soothing.

“I am. My mother is super
excited and I’m happy for her,” I reply.

“You don’t sound so happy,”
Jayson says.

“It just sucks. You’re going to
be my big brother now. What the fuck?” Jayson chuckles at my statement.

“Come on, Ashley. You know it’s
not like that,” he says.

“I know, but it kind of is.”

“Don’t worry, we will get
through it. You’re mine now, remember? I will be by your side and we will make
sure everything works out in the end.”

I feel better hearing him tell
me that. I am still walking and almost at my building. I hate talking and
walking, but I just want to get home.

“Did you tell Tom about us?” I
ask.

“No. I think you should be the
one to tell Cynthia,” he responds.

“You’re right. It should be
me.” I sigh. “And I want to get it over and done with as soon as possible.”

“Do you want me to be there
when you do?” Jayson offers. Knowing that my mother already has him pegged as a
womanizing gigolo, I don’t think it’s the best idea.

“Thanks, but I think I should
do it myself first and see how she takes the news,” I answer. I know she’s
going to flip out and I don’t think Jayson needs to see that. I walk up to the
front of my building and stop before entering.

“If you change your mind, I
will be there,” Jayson assures me.

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

“Ashley…” Jayson says. There’s
something about the way he says my name that still makes me melt.

“Yes?” I answer when he doesn’t
continue.

“Everything will be fine. I
promise.” And I believe him. Hearing Jayson say that so sincerely makes me feel
more at ease than I have all day. I love him. I really love him.

“I know,” I say and I smile to
myself. “Thanks for calling me. I’m home now and want to go up to my apartment.
Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Of course,” he answers. “Sweet
dreams, baby.”

“You too. Goodnight.”

I walk into my building,
smiling once again. Hearing reassuring words from Jayson made me feel better
than anything else. Knowing he still wants to see it through and plans to stay
by my side means so much. I don’t know what our future will bring, but having
him as my partner and my protector will give me the strength I need and make
any battle worth fighting.

____________________

I wake up Sunday morning
feeling renewed and much less stressed. Having Jayson say those things last
night really helped boost my confidence in both our relationship and my will to
fight for it.

While I wait for the coffee to
brew, I brush my teeth and wash my face. I’m planning on calling my mother
first thing so we can talk, and I don’t waste any more time with worry. Once I
tell her about Jayson, we can at least begin to move on and work on damage
control.

I walk into the kitchen and pour
coffee into my favorite mug. I take my phone from the charger and sit at the
counter with it in my hand. I decide to drink my coffee first so I can
contemplate the best way to approach the subject with Mom.

About halfway through my mugful
and several potential opening statements later, I realize there really is no
good way. Maybe I’m making this into a much bigger deal than it actually is.
Maybe she won’t even care so much. I’ll just hold onto that notion while I
dial, even though I expect it’s not true.

I take a few deep breaths to
calm myself before I dial. I then acknowledge that I’m using it more as a
method of procrastination than relaxation, so I stop. I pick up my phone and
call her. After a few rings, she picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mom,” I reply trying to
sound pleasant.

“Hi, Ashley! Nice to hear from
you so early on a Sunday. Did you get your schedule already?” she asks.

“No. Just wanted to say hi.”
I’m losing courage every second. I need to regain my composure.