Stepbrother Undefeated: An MMA Romance (5 page)

"Yeah...Not only that Willow, I'm not the kind of guy you should be with, I'm not a good guy, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you Willow," Logan said.

"Don't you see that not being with me is hurting me?" I said, I could feel my eyes welling up with tears but I fought them back. I was sick of being so weak for him. "I don't know why you think you're such a bad guy, you made mistakes but so does everyone, I've tried so hard to forget you but I can't."

"And I couldn't forget you either Willow," Logan said sighing. "You're the most beautiful girl in the world, you're the one thing good in my life and you're the reason I strive to be a better man,"

I was happy by what he was telling me but confused that it didn't seem to change a thing.

"Then what is it? If all that's true then why can't you be with me Logan?" I cried "just give me a reason please," I begged him desperately.
 

"Because I'm bad. The whole thing with Drew, you don't even know... That was over you. I caught him saying he was gonna hook up with you because you were so drunk you wouldn't be able to say no, I just got so mad, I went at him like crazy. I was so lost in that moment, I could have killed him Willow, just like I killed my Mom," Logan said.
 

What was he talking about? I had no idea I was the reason for Logan putting Drew in hospital, and Logan's Mom, we never discussed her, Chris had always said she died when Logan was a baby and that it was too painful for Logan to talk about. Because of that I never brought it up, I understood because talking about my Dad was not something I liked to did with anyone but Mom.

"Your Mom?" I asked wondering what he meant.

"Marilyn," Logan said.
 

The tattoo on Logan's chest. Marilyn. That was his mother. I suddenly felt like an idiot for being so hung up and jealous about it.

"She died in birth Willow, it was my fault, I killed her because I'm a parasite and all I do is destroy other peoples lives," he said it in such a way that made me know he truly believed what he was saying. My heart broke for him, my poor Logan.

I sat up and cradled his head, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead. We were two broken people but I truly believed together we could overcome anything.

"You are so wrong Logan," I said tears streaming down my cheeks. "You are not a parasite. You are not bad. You saved me Logan, you're the reason I survived my eating disorder, you're the reason I stay strong. Please don't forget it, please don't lose hope. You are the best thing to ever happen to me and I won't stop fighting for your love."

Logan pulled me under his arm so my head was resting on his chest.
 

"Thank you Willow. You always know the right thing to say I just wish that I could believe you," Logan said.
 

I stayed still on his chest so he would fall asleep. I lay there listening to his heartbeat. It was the most magical moment but something told me it was only a minor development in our relationship. Even still I'll take what I can get.

CHAPTER TEN

I woke up alone in the bed looking up to see Logan sitting on the sofa. He looked as though he had been watching me for some time.

"Good morning," Logan said, he looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Hey...When did you wake up?" I asked stretching my arms.

"Not long ago...Come on, get up, we should get going," he said. He was already dressed and his bag was by the door.

"Okay, sure," I said wondering why we were suddenly in such a hurry. I looked at my phone, it was only 8:30AM, what was the rush?

I went to the bathroom and got ready wondering if anything had changed between us from what had happened last night. From Logan's behaviour this morning I was guessing he'd gone back to shutting me out. But now I had a new lease on things, I wouldn't give up on him anymore - I was determined to make him mine.
 

"I'm hungry," I said coming out of the bathroom to discovering Logan was no longer in the room. I looked out the window and saw Logan waiting in the car. I picked up my bag and went to join him.

"What's the rush Logan?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just want to get out of here," He said without looking at me.

"Okay...Can we at least get some coffee and food?" I asked. It had been a long time since I'd had a proper meal.

"Yeah, I'll stop at the next diner," Logan said gruffly as he stepped on the accelerator.
 

Were we really back to square one after last nights break through? Thirty minutes later we pulled into a diner.
 

"Coffee!" I exclaimed a little over excitedly as the waitress came to take our order. "And the mushroom omelette."

"I'll have the same," Logan said, "no mushrooms though, extra bacon and a side of toast"
 

"That's hardly the same," I laughed. Logan looked up at me smiling, "how are you feeling today?" I asked him.

"I'm okay... Why wouldn't I be?" Logan asked looking at me. He was not the kind for talking about his feelings.

"Well...You were pretty upset last night, I just want to know you're gonna be alright," I said in the least overbearing way I could.

"I'll be alright Will...I always am," he said.
 

Our food arrived just in time and I busied myself in eating rather than focussing on mess that was my love life for once.
 

The rest of the trip went by smoothly. We arrived at SOCU in the early afternoon and Logan helped take my belongings to my room before leaving for his apartment he would be renting.
 

"I'll see you for dinner?" I asked Logan wishing he wasn't leaving in such a hurry.

"Yeah. Text me later," He called out as he walked away.
 

A tall brunette girl with large breasts walked towards me with a huge grin on her pretty face.

"Hey roomie!" She said.

"Oh...Hey," I said a little startled. "I'm Willow," I said extending my hand.

"I'm Veronica," She said shaking it. "Please tell me that tall drink of water is your brother and not your boyfriend," She laughed.

I stiffened a little unsure what to say.

"He's a friend...from my town, Altria, we drove here together," I replied quickly.

"Well, he's a total hunk!" She said giggling.
 

"Yeah, I guess so" I said shrugging.
 

"Altria, near Portland right?" Veronica said.

"Close enough" I replied. "What about you?"
 

"Seattle, we're practically neighbours," She said. "Well now we're roomies...you get my drift! Wow college, eh? This is so crazy!!"
 

Veronica certainly gave Kayla a run for her money as a blabber mouth. In 20 minutes I knew her life story but I wasn't so quick to dish out mine just yet.
 

"So tonight there's this dinner I hear, at the pizza place down the road, a bunch of other guys and gals are going so you'll have to come and bring Logan," she said smiling.

"Of course" I nodded.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I get to the pizza joint with Veronica and there's no sign of Logan. It's not like him to show up on time anyway. After twenty minutes of mingling with the other freshman the door swings open and every girl in the restaurant turns to him.
 

"Who's that?" A red head girl named Sarah says.
 

"Logan, he's a friend of Willow's," Veronica tells her and the rest of the girls at the table.
 

He's wearing a leather jacket and tight blue jeans that show off his bulge. I feel uncomfortable with the fact he could have any girl in the room he wanted. He spots me and walks over.

"Hi! I'm Veronica!" Veronica says getting out her chair to greet Logan. She puffs her chest out showing off her cleavage but Logan doesn't notice. His eyes are on me. "I'm roomies with your friend Willow."

"Oh...Hey" he says cooly shaking her hand, I can tell by the way he eyes her over that he's not interested. A wave of relief washes over me. "Yeah...we're old pals me and Will" Logan shoots me a look along with a cheeky smile.

I blush but am thankful he didn't call me out. Veronica pulls a chair between me and her for him to sit. The girls around the table coo questions at him flirtatiously.
 

"An MMA fighter?!" Veronica exclaims. "That's sooooo cooool, you must be like really strong!" She grabs at his arm feeling his muscles while she looks at the other girls at the table.

Logan shrugs seemingly unamused by the female attention he's getting, I suddenly remember why I was so down on him going to SOCU.
 

"Excuse me," I say getting up to go to the bathroom.

I splash water on my face trying to calm myself down. Why am I so socially awkward? I hate that about myself, I don't seem to fit in. The only time I ever feel truly like myself is when I'm alone with Logan. I sigh, touching up my eyeliner.
 

When I exit the bathroom Logan's waiting for me.
 

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yeah...I'm fine, why?" I lie.

"You looked a little pale before," Logan says.

"You know me...I'm not good in social situations," I tell him. It was partly true.

"Well neither am I," he laughs, "I have to head off Willow...I've gotta train and sort out some stuff with the apartment," He tells me. I don't know if that's the truth or he just desperately wants to get away from the situation.

"Oh...okay, how is the apartment anyway?" I ask hoping he'll invite me back there with him.

"It's nice Willow, you'll have to come over soon," He says pulling me in for a hug. "I'll see you soon,"
 

I hug him back tight inhaling the scent of his leather jacket mixed with his cologne. I never want to let go.

"Yeah...I'll see you soon," I tell him.

I go back to the table joining Veronica and the others.

"Oh my God Willow!" Veronica says as I take a seat.

"Yeah?" I ask wondering what she feels the need to oh em gee me about.

"Logan is so totally into you!" She exclaims.

"Totally into you!" Sarah the redhead chimes in. The other girls at the table nod in agreement.

"Really?" I ask. If he was so into me then why did he avoid spending any time with me?

"He couldn't keep his eyes off you the whole time he was here, I reckon he's got it real bad!" Veronica says.

I blush thinking about it. He may be into me but does that really mean anything, Logan takes the step sibling relationship too seriously to ever act on his feelings and then again, he thinks I turn him into a monster. If only I could tell them the whole story but I knew they wouldn't understand - no one would.
 

CHAPTER TWELVE

The next week went by so fast. Classes started and I was settling in well. The problem was I hadn't seen Logan since the night we got to SOCU. He told me he was training for a big fight and he needed to focus his energy on that right now. I tried to be understanding but the truth was I was going stir crazy, obsessing over the situation.
 

I had been spending all my spare time with Veronica and Sarah who decided that the three of us were going to be best friends. Tonight we were gonna go see a DJ at a club with the fake I.D's Sarah's brother had scored for us. I wasn't so excited about the idea of listening to thumping club music all night, I was more the stay-at-home with pizza and Netflix type of girl but I needed the distraction. Any distraction that didn't make me think about Logan 24/7.

"What are you going to wear, Willow?" Veronica asked eyeing me up. Her and Sarah were already ready to go in their tight body con dresses and bulging cleavage. I on the other hand was keeping it casual in my usual jeans and T shirt look.

"This?" I said gesturing to my outfit. Veronica and Sarah looked at each other and burst out laughing.
 

"Make over?" Sarah said looking at Veronica, raising her perfectly groomed brows.
 

"I'm sorry Willow but majority rules, we're deciding what you wear tonight!" Veronica said as she pulled out a bunch of dresses from her wardrobe and sprawled them across her bed. I eyeballed them in horror, they were all mini and low cut. "Any of them catch your eye?" She asked.

"What one shows the least amount of skin?" I said laughing awkwardly. I take a black one from her, it's short and tight but it has long sleeves and a high neck.
 

"Ooh good choice," Sarah says, "try it on!"

I went behind the room divider pulling the dress over my head adjusting my boobs so they looked perky underneath it. Eyeballing myself in the mirror I had to admit I looked pretty damn hot.
 

"Hair up or down?" I said pulling my long dark hair back into a ponytail as I walked out to show them the dress.

"Wow, you look hot girlfriend!" Veronica said when she saw me.

"And definitely wear your hair down, you have such gorgeous long hair Willow you should show it off" Sarah said running her fingers through my hair.

I felt happy to have made friends with these girls in that moment, despite the fact that I was different to them in many ways I knew that they had my back and that was what I needed. After much contemplation from Veronica and Sarah on what shoes I would be wearing I over-ruled them both and settled on my black heeled combat-style boots.
 

"Let's go then!" Sarah said as she touched up her bright lipstick in the mirror.

"But first!" Veronica said pulling out a small flask of tequila.
 

"No way!" Sarah said turning her nose up at the bottle.
 

My stomach churned just looking at it but I also felt like forgetting my problems so I snatched the bottle from Veronica, opened it and took a long swig. The liquor burnt my throat as it went down but it was quickly replaced by a numbness and a false sense of invisibility.
 

"Woo! You go girl!" Veronica shrieked taking back the bottle and swigging back on it herself. We high five'd each other. I could tell tonight was gonna be a wild one.