Stepbrother With Benefits 18 (Third Season) (6 page)

W
ho knew
classes were so boring? I mean, yeah, I actually knew this before now. I've always known this. I guess some part of me sort of hoped that they'd suddenly change, though. For example, maybe I suddenly find myself in a class about football, or the history of the Sons of Anarchy, or, fuck, maybe even how to survive the zombie apocalypse.

Yeah yeah, so there's probably no classes about football, at least not on a college level. I'm sure I could go somewhere to find out more about it, but it's not like I get college credit for it. I don't even know if there's classes about fictional TV shows, either.

Also, you know what? Any class on how to survive the zombie apocalypse would be bullshit, too. Absolute fucking bullshit. You want to know why? I'll tell you why. No one's ever survived a zombie apocalypse before. How the fuck would they know what to teach? You can give some shitty answer about teaching basic survival skills, but that's just it. Those are general purpose skills, and not zombie apocalypse skills.

You have no idea how disappointing this is to me. I just really fucking wish I could get some college credit for a zombie apocalypse survival class right about now.

Wait. Holy fuck. I just had the best idea ever. What about... alright, stay with me for a second... what about...

How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse While Still Playing Football and Watching the Entire Series of
Sons of Anarchy
... 101

Because it's a beginner's class, you know? That's what the 101 is for. I'm going to suggest this to someone. I have no fucking clue who. I'm going to find out, though. Do we even have a suggestion box on campus? You know who would know? I do. She's sitting right next to me.

She's also staring at me like I'm an idiot. Yeah, fuck you, Brittany.

"Did you seriously just write down 'How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse While Still Playing Football and Watching the Entire Series of
Sons of Anarchy
101' in your notebook?" she asks me.

"Hey," I say, ignoring her. "Do you know how I would go about suggesting a new class? Do I have to talk to the dean or what?"

"I'm not sure," she says. "Maybe ask your counselor?"

"How the fuck do you not know the answer to this, Brittany? You're really letting me down here."

"Am I?" she asks, one eyebrow quirked up. "If that's the case, I'm not going to sit next to you in class anymore."

Oh, fuck. "Wait, I didn't mean it," I say. "I need you."

"That's cute and all, but I hear you have a girlfriend now. I'm not falling for your sweet talk, Ethan."

"Oh, yeah," I say. "Speaking of her, she's here. She flew in last night. Kind of a surprise. You want to meet her before we leave?"

"Ooh, a surprise! That's fun. She came in last night and she's leaving already, though? Why not stay here for the weekend?"

"Uh... Scarlet's doing some art exhibit thing at Ashley's school. We're flying back with her. Caleb, too. Maybe some other people. Fuck if I know. My dad's letting me use his company jet, so I guess it doesn't matter how many people are going. There's plenty of room."

"Oh, yeah?" Brittany asks, giving me a look.

I don't know what this look means. To be fair, I never fucking know what these looks mean. I know a lot of things about girls, and I can usually figure out what the, uh... the sexy looks mean, you know? I can figure out pretty fucking fast if a girl wants my cock, which is now a completely useless skill because the only girl getting my cock is Ashley.

I can't figure out these other looks, though. First it's Ashley and her looks. Not the sexy looks, the other ones. And my stepmom? Yeah, those looks, too. No fucking clue. Now Brittany's looks. Fuck you, Brittany.

"What's with the look?" I ask her.

"Can I come?" she asks, batting her eyelashes at me. For real, this girl just started batting her fucking eyelashes at me.

"What, on the plane?"

"Mhm."

"I guess?"

"Great! This'll be fun. You aren't going to try and join the Mile High Club with your girlfriend, though, are you? This isn't some kind of kinky sex plane, is it?"

Holy fuck! Why didn't I think of that? What a huge fucking missed opportunity. Kinky sex plane with Ashley? Uh, yes? Fuck yes?

"Oh, no, it
is
a kinky sex plane, isn't it?" Brittany says, staring at me. "I can tell by that dazed look in your eyes, Ethan. Wow."

"Shut the fuck up, it's not a kinky sex plane, Brittany. Why would I even invite you on a kinky sex plane?"

"Because I'm a cheerleader and flexible," she says. "Duh. Isn't that obvious?"

"I fucking hate you," I mumble.

"Awww, you're so cute when you're flustered," she says. "I can't wait to meet your girlfriend, too. I bet she's beautiful. When do we leave for the plane? I'll come to your room early so you don't try and leave without me."

"Uh... I don't know? When classes are done for the day?"

"Speaking of which... we should probably head to our next class."

Wait, what? I look up. I feel like I should have realized this before now, but no one else is here. It's just us. Sort of. The instructor is sitting up front at his desk, too. He looks over at us after what Brittany just said and kind of laughs.

"I don't mind you taking your time, but your other professors might take offense to you showing up late," he says. "By my estimates you have about two more minutes before the next classes start, so if you have one on your schedule, you might want to hurry."

Fuck. Fucking fuck! I'm supposed to be trying to be responsible here! That's the entire fucking reason I came to classes instead of skipping them entirely and going off to do Scarlet's art exhibit thing whatever the fuck it is.

Fuck.

"You're the worst fucking person at this," I say to Brittany. "I thought you were going to help me out here?"

"I'm the worst? You're the one who asked me how you could suggest a class for how to survive the zombie apocalypse while still playing football and watching
Sons of Anarchy
," she says.

"It's a completely legitimate question," I say with a straight face.

Brittany rolls her eyes at me and laughs.

"Suggestions for new classes are usually discussed with the appropriate department head," our teacher says. "I'm not entirely sure which department would deal with a class like that, but I'd probably recommend starting with the head of the Liberal Arts program, Ethan."

"See?" I say to Brittany. "It's a great fucking idea. I'm going to do it. I'm going to suggest it."

Just not now. Later. Now I'm packing my fucking bag so I won't be late. Brittany just fucking... frolics along beside me or something. Fuck if I know what she's doing. You know how cheerleaders just sort of skip and glide around or whatever the fuck? Yeah, she's just walking, but she's walking like a cheerleader, and I'm going to say she's frolicking.

Then we start running, because we've got less than a minute left to get to our next class, and it's all the way down the hall. Fuck this. I knew classes were hard, and boring, and basically the worst thing ever, but I never thought I'd actually have to run to one. I don't mind running. I even like it when it's for football. When it's for a class, though?

No. Not even a little bit. Being responsible sucks.

When Brittany and I sit down after barely making it in time for our next class, I unpack my class stuff and then look at my phone quick. I just need to see something. I know being responsible sucks, but...

I look at the picture Ashley sent me earlier. It's nothing crazy. It's just her wearing a pair of cute jeans that look pretty fucking sexy on her. Not too tight, and not too loose. They're just right, perfect as fuck. Her t-shirt is nice, too. It's not crazy either, but I like how I can imagine ripping it off of her, because I'm pretty sure I've ripped that one off of her before.

Alright, I guess I can be responsible if this is the reason I'm being responsible. Ashley's a pretty fucking amazing reason for anything, if I'm being completely honest.

"Aww, she's cute," Brittany says, sneaking a peek at my phone. "Now put that away and get ready to write some notes, Ethan! We're doing this! Aren't you excited?"

"Woo boy, so excited," I say, not even excited at all.

"That's the spirit," she says, sarcastic and smiling. "I knew you could do it."

I
knew it
! I really did. There's no such thing as a bad pancake. It's impossible. If a pancake exists, it can't be bad.

I've had a lot of pancakes, too. Even those ones you can get in premade meals in the frozen food section of the grocery store. To be fair, those aren't exactly the best pancakes ever, but I'd still eat them. The key is to make sure you use butter and syrup. You don't need a lot, but a pancake isn't a pancake without the proper toppings to go along with it. That's just how this works.

Scarlet seems highly amused at how enthusiastic I am while eating my pancakes. She only got a breakfast burrito, which also looks good. To be completely honest with you, I think most breakfast foods are good. I would happily eat them a lot, and probably not even just for breakfast.

Pancakes for dinner? Um, yes, please?

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, and eventually my pancakes are gone. Scarlet's mostly done with her breakfast burrito, too. We ate in silence, but we can only be silent for so long.

"I really am sorry about yesterday," Scarlet says. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"It's alright," I tell her. "I mean, it's not exactly alright, but... sometimes we all do things and we don't know why, right? When Ethan and I, um... last summer. It was the beginning of the summer. We accidentally slept together, and then the next day he said something really stupid to me. I thought it was stupid at the time, at least."

"What'd he say?" Scarlet asks.

"I don't remember exactly, but it was something about how we could try doing a friends with benefits relationship for a week, since I was still trying to recover from my asshole boyfriend at the time breaking up with me. I told Ethan that we weren't even friends, he was my stepbrother. He just kind of shrugged it off and said, um..."

I try to do my best impersonation of Ethan for this.

"Friends with benefits, stepbrother with benefits, what's the difference?"

Scarlet laughs and shakes her head. "No way. He said that?"

"Yup, basically. I don't know if you know this, but Ethan is kind of weird sometimes. It worked out, though. I guess it did. We're dating now, so..."

"Pretty sure that's not going to happen in my case," Scarlet says.

"Better not!" I say, silly, pointing my plastic fork at her. "He's mine, Scarlet! You can have Caleb if you want, though."

She gives me another weird look. "It's just for the art project," she says. "That's all."

I decide not to push it. I think they'd make a cute couple, but I also think Caleb should probably do this on his own. At least a little on his own. If he needs my help, I'll definitely help him, but he's the one who knows Scarlet the best.

I wonder if that's what makes this hard, though? I guess sometimes the more you know someone, the harder it is to tell them something. I don't know what I would do if I was in his shoes.

"Are you nervous about it?" I ask her. "Um... you know, having sex with Caleb in front of a camera? People are going to watch the video, aren't they?"

She gives me another weird look, but this one is also entirely different from the first one. "I guess," she says with a shrug. "It's... it's not really like that. I'm more nervous about other stuff. I've never really talked with anyone about this before. I mean, except Caleb. If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone? Not even Ethan, Ashley. Especially not Ethan."

Oh no. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Something I can't tell Ethan? I feel like that's a lot of responsibility and I don't know if I'm responsible enough for this. Actually, I completely trust my ability to be responsible almost always, except when it comes to Ethan. When it comes to Ethan, well...

I don't think we really have to think about how irresponsible I can be when it comes to Ethan. I did just ditch class for the day, bought a plane ticket randomly to come out and see him, and now I'm in the cafeteria of a college I don't even attend that's hundreds of miles away from my own.

"Um..." I stare at Scarlet for a second, trying to figure this out. Am I responsible, or irresponsible? Am I still a good girl, or have I become corrupted beyond repair by Ethan's bad boy ways?

Scarlet rolls her eyes at me. "Just don't tell Ethan, or else," she says. "I've had sex with Caleb before. We sort of lost our virginity to each other. It was a little weird, but not in a bad way, if that makes any sense?"

Wait, wait, whoa, what! What the, um... what... oh my God I can't even say words right now. I stare at Scarlet, my mouth wide open, trying to think of something to say.

The thing I finally think of to say is probably completely dumb, but whatever. It's what I say, alright? Ugh!

"Nuh uh!"

She stares back at me now. "No, really, it happened. It was awhile ago. It didn't happen recently or anything."

Except she's got this telltale blush on her cheeks. I know that blush. I am positive I've had that same blush before. You can't fool me, Scarlet!

"Except you did something with him again recently, didn't you?" I ask her.

"Um, what, no!" she says, except the way she says it is much too fast, and after that she turns dreadfully quiet.

I stare at her, pressing the charge here. I'm on to you, Scarlet. I know what's going on...

"Um... maybe," she says. "A little. On accident. It wasn't on purpose."

"If it makes you feel any better, I accidentally made Ethan cum in his sleep once, so I've done things on accident, too," I tell her.

Wait, what? I don't know why I just said that. Why am I saying these things? What am I doing?

"No way, really?" Scarlet asks. She looks both impressed and fascinated, one eyebrow raised with a glimmer in her eyes.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours?" I offer.

"Yeah," she says, faster than fast. "Deal."

"It was after Ethan and I started our stepbrother with benefits thing, but before we were dating. We were sleeping together. Um, in bed, right? Actually sleeping. I woke up and Ethan had an erection, which I guess is just what happens a lot when guys sleep. Who knew? I didn't know before, but it happens a lot with Ethan, so..."

"Wait, really?" Scarlet asks. "You think it happens with all guys or what?"

I shrug. "I don't know, but I think so? You could ask Caleb, I guess?"

Scarlet nods, as if this is a good thing to ask Caleb. To be honest, she's always been kind of weird with Caleb. I mean, their relationship is weird. Not in a bad way or anything, but I don't really understand it very well. They're, um... close. But too close? But not that close.

I told you, it's confusing and weird.

"Anyways, yes. I woke up before Ethan, and he had an erection, so... I was just curious, you know? I wrapped my fingers around his cock, because... just because. I don't know why. I was curious, that's why."

"Did you just say cock?" Scarlet asks me. "I didn't know you said words like that."

"Scarlet, shush. I'm telling you my story."

"Fine, whatever. You just don't seem like the kind of girl that talks about cocks."

"I don't talk about just any cock," I tell her. "I'm talking about Ethan's cock. There's a difference. Can I get back to my story now?"

"Yeah, so what happened. Fingers, cock, what's next?"

"I was just stroking him," I say. "Slow, because I didn't want to wake him up, but I guess it was enough. Ethan says sometimes it's easier for guys to cum in their sleep or when they just wake up, because it's more instinctive or something? I'm not really sure how that works. I made him cum then, though. Just like that! He didn't even wake up, either. It was actually really cool. I had it all over my fingers. I felt... so, this is weird maybe, but I felt kind of proud of myself? Is that weird?"

"Fuck no," she says. "That's awesome. I'd feel proud, too."

"You could try it, I guess?" I offer.

Also, I'm just being a troublemaker now. I really am, aren't I? Ethan, what have you done to me?

"Um... look, I get that maybe we're apologizing and all of that, but I don't think it's a good idea for us to be bonding over your boyfriend's cock, Ashley."

I give her a look that says I have no idea what she's talking about, because I really have no idea what she's talking about. "What."

This isn't a question. I just don't know. What.

"You made Ethan cum in his sleep, and then you said I could try it?" she says, unsure of herself.

"No! Not Ethan! I meant someone else. Like, say... Caleb? You're staying in his room, aren't you?"

"Kind of," she says. "We're leaving tonight, though. His roommate will be back next week, so I'll have to go back to my dorm room soon. Also, isn't that kind of weird? If I just go up to Caleb and, um..."

"No," I say. "Maybe. I don't know. I told you my story, so tell me yours and then I'll let you know if it's weird or not."

Scarlet nods. We're getting somewhere with this. It's simple logic, really. Logic and girl talk. I'd say that's a perfect combination, right?

"I was watching my favorite porn with Caleb--" Scarlet starts.

"Whoa! Wait, wait, stop," I say, holding up my hands. That's what I mean to do, but I kind of just end up flailing my arms around like a crazy person. "I thought you were going to tell me about accidentally having sex with Caleb recently? Where did the porn come in? Favorite porn, too! I haven't even shown Ethan my favorite porn. It's not like I watch it much, but still."

"This is the start," she says. "I don't know if you'd even call it accidental sex. It was an accident, but then we stopped."

"Did he put his penis in your vagina?" I ask her.

I really feel like this is a perfectly acceptable question to ask, considering the conversation we're having. Scarlet gives me a look, though. Cut it out, Scarlet!

"Penis? Really? You just said cock and now you're going back to using something prissy like penis?"

"Penises aren't prissy, Scarlet," I tell her.

She rolls her eyes at me, not buying it.

"Ugh. Fine," I say, taking a deep breath. "Did he put his cock in your pussy?"

Scarlet ignores me, sort of. She ignores my question, at least. "Has anyone ever told you that you're really good at dirty talk? You just made that sound completely natural and sexy all at once. I'm impressed. I didn't know you had it in you. I can see why Ethan likes you."

"Scarlet! Focus! Tell me the story, alright? What was the porn about? I don't get it."

"Oh, yeah," she says, as if she'd almost forgotten. "We were watching my favorite porn because I asked Caleb about doing the project with me, so it was like research. It's a good video, too. Sexy as fuck, but with great angles and lighting."

"I know what you mean," I say, interjecting. Sometimes you need to interject, alright? "I hate when they have really bad lighting and they don't do the angles I like. Why do they always have close ups of the guy's butthole, you know? I guess they don't always do it, but I think the easiest way to make a porn not even sexy anymore is to show a close up of the guy's butt."

"What if it's gay porn?" Scarlet asks. "That's kind of the point then, right?"

"I... um, maybe? I guess that's true. I don't really watch that. Fine, maybe it's sexy with context. That's not the point. Let's get back to your story."

"Yeah, so, we watched it, and then we were trying it out. Not real sex, just... the motions, right? Figuring out how this would work."

I really can't even begin to understand how this would work, but I nod nonetheless. I am being supportive. Also, I want to find out about the accidental sex. This is oddly exciting to me, and I don't know if that makes me weird or not. I'm excited for Caleb and Scarlet. I think they should have sex. I really really do.

"And... I guess Caleb and I were getting too into it or something. I don't really know. I was feeling it, though. You know how you get into something and you just kind of feel it? Like when you're listening to good music, except in this case there was no music. Yeah, so, somehow Caleb's cock got loose, and my panties got pushed to the side, and the next thing I know..."

"Penetration," I say, nodding sagely.

"Yeah, I guess that's a word you could use to describe it," Scarlet says, rolling her eyes at me.

I don't know if Scarlet just rolls her eyes a lot, or if she's doing it because of me.

"But then you stopped? You said it wasn't actual sex, so..."

"Caleb stopped after awhile. We were getting into a groove, and... I probably fucked it up by telling him I was about to cum, but then he pulled out of me and said we had to stop, and after that we got dressed and went to get dinner."

"Oh," I say, stunned.

"What?" she asks.

"I just think you need to work on how you tell the story," I say. "You started it out with 'I was watching my favorite porn with my best friend' and then you finish by telling me that you were about to have an orgasm but then you both stopped and went to eat dinner. It's kind of anticlimactic, don't you think?"

"Yeah, well, that's kind of the point of the story, Ashley. It's anticlimactic because I didn't reach climax. Fuck."

I laugh. I don't mean to! Just... wow. The way she said that? Um... yup.

Scarlet tries not to smile or laugh, but she does both. I'm glad there's no one else in the cafeteria with us right now because they'd think we're crazy. Actually, we should probably be leaving soon. It looks like they're cleaning up in the kitchens behind the food displays, too. Apparently breakfast is officially over.

"It's cool, though," Scarlet says. "I gave Caleb a blowjob the other day, for more research, and that ended in a climax, so I think we're working on this and we'll have it down for the movie."

"Wait, what? Oh my God! Scarlet, what the heck? You're seriously the worst at telling stories. You can't... seriously, you can't do that. You can't just end one story by saying you both stopped, got dressed, and got dinner, and then randomly add that you gave him a blowjob later. This isn't how you tell stories, Scarlet."