Sticks and Stones (26 page)

She had given up trying to ring the Mont Gully house. Clearly nobody was answering and, even if someone had, she now knew that the chances of the children being delivered at five were close to nonexistent. This was Jake flexing his muscles, proving he was in charge. He had wanted the children this whole weekend, for the big move, and therefore he would
have
them this whole weekend. It was that simple.

The irony was that he was also the first person to actually ring her on the new mobile phone late the following afternoon. She had spent much of that day in Melbourne, at Hannah's house, where Nicholas and Charlotte joined them for lunch. With the main topic being, naturally, the court case and its repercussions. And the rapidly gathering evidence of Jake's intention to manipulate the orders whenever it suited. Her companions' evident surprise over this might have amused Maddie had the situation not been so personal. Further evidence of how little they really understood. As was Hannah's tendency to lace her dialogue with exclamations such as ‘absolutely unbelievable', or ‘
something
should be done' or ‘I've got a good mind to write to the attorney-general'.

Apart from this there was nothing particularly new on the table, although Hannah had dot-pointed all the information that Maddie had missed out on after she had left the courtroom so abruptly. The real revision would take place the coming Wednesday, when they had an appointment with Diana Le Gassick to discuss the next step. And Maddie was not looking forward to the meeting. The more she thought about her day in court, the more her resentment at Diana grew. From her sudden push for a compromise at the very beginning to her performance before the bench, where she had appeared not nearly as well prepared or tenacious as the opposition.

But Maddie also knew that having chosen the lawyer herself, Hannah felt personally, and financially, invested in Diana. So she kept her doubts to herself, along with her interest in the legal service Jenny had mentioned. Lunch was pleasant, and it was almost therapeutic to discuss the hearing out loud, but by midafternoon Maddie had a headache that felt like it was
enfolded
within her brain. So she made her excuses a little earlier than anticipated, glad to have made the effort but equally glad to be leaving. The mobile rang when she was almost halfway home, its metallic ringtone surprising and then filling her with sudden anticipation. She pulled over to the side of the road, her tyres scrunching neatly into the gravel.

‘Hello?'

‘Well, well. Out and about, are we?'

Disappointment cleaved. ‘What do you want?'

‘You know perfectly well what I want.'

‘Pardon?'

His voice instantly lost the bantering tone. ‘Drop the act. If you think this'll help your cause, think again. And you can tell him from me that I won't think twice about having you arrested.'

Maddie adjusted the tiny phone against her ear. ‘I have no idea what you're talking about.'

‘So that's the way you want to play it?'

‘Play
what
?'

‘Fine. Have it your way.'

The phone went dead and Maddie brought it down to her lap, nestling it in the palm of her hand and staring as if it still held some answers. She replayed the conversation slowly, puzzling over each word, each nuance. And then suddenly her eyes widened as suspicion and realisation merged. In one fluid movement she threw the phone towards her handbag on the passenger seat, glanced perfunctorily into the mirror and accelerated back out onto the road, tyres spitting gravel across the tarmac. And now the leisurely progress was gone, metamorphosed into protracted frustration and the need to continually adjust her speed as it crept up over the limit. Getting stuck behind a slow, ambling caravan on the outskirts of town and weaving to and from the white line until she could overtake. Finally turning into her street, and then her driveway, with her chest hollow with hope.

Having rushed so frantically to get here, Maddie now sat rigidly in her car, hands clasped on the steering wheel, staring over at the unlit kitchen window. If she stayed where she was then anything was possible, whereas inside the house lay reality. And the darkness of the window might even be a sign that it wasn't the reality she had hoped for. Maddie took a long breath, dragging it down deep and willing it to pillow the thumping of her heart. She found her phone and shoved it inside her handbag before exiting the car, then walking slowly around to the rear of the house. Taking another deep breath as she unlocked the door and moving just one step inside as it swung open, its creak louder than ever before. She took another step, staring into the silence,
craving
a sign.

‘Sam?' Her voice came out with a hoarseness that sounded painful, so she cleared her throat and tried again, louder. ‘Sam? Are you there?'

Maddie froze, listening as the words faded into stillness. She flicked on the light, the sudden absence of shadows making the room seem even emptier. And then, just as she began to sag with the knowledge that she had been wrong, there came a low answer. ‘Mum?'

‘Sam!' Maddie was already moving, turning the corner into the passage and, with a sense of utter wonder even though she had just heard his voice and so knew he was there, coming face to face with her son. She took a fleeting moment to drag her eyes across his face, taking in his features, inspecting, assessing, confirming, and then threw her arms around him and brought him in tight. Holding him against her, breathing him in. Knowing that she only had a minute or so before he would begin to pull away with gauche embarrassment. When it happened, Maddie allowed herself the luxury of reaching up and touching his face lightly, with one hand. Then she stepped back, rubbing her arm as if cold, and stared at him. Trying to think of something to say that wasn't maudlin, or inflammatory, or accusatory. Realising that the dog was there too, standing back slightly as if recognising that they needed a minute alone.

In the end Sam spoke first. ‘Where've you been?'

‘Down in Melbourne. At Auntie Hannah's.' She looked him over, at the cut-off windcheater that she had never seen before. ‘More new clothes?'

‘Yeah, well we only had our school stuff. Remember?'

‘Yes. Of course. Well, your sister must be thrilled. Um, she didn't come with you?'

‘Nah, but then I didn't tell her either. She went out with Dad to buy some stuff for the new house and I just decided I wanted to come over here. Spur of the moment sort of thing. Find out what's going on. From you.'

‘I see. Okay. Yes, we need to talk.'

‘First though . . . anything to eat? I'm
starved.'

Maddie broke into a grin, loving the familiarity of this statement. And the way it brought everything back into line. She felt like hugging him again, but restrained herself.

‘Is that a yes?'

‘Come on then.' She turned and led the way into the kitchen. As Sam settled himself at the table, with Guess's head in his lap, she checked the fridge. ‘How do ham and cheese toasted sandwiches sound?'

‘Great. As long as they're not jaffles.'

‘Of course not. Do you think I'd have forgotten so quickly?' Maddie gave him a quick grin that wanted to linger. But she tugged it away and concentrated on collecting the ingredients. ‘Have you been here long?'

‘Nah, not long.' Sam put a hand on either side of the dog's head and then ruffled his fingers forward, finishing with a good scratch under the chin. Guess stretched his head out blissfully and Sam grinned. ‘I think he might've missed me.'

‘I
know
he did.' Maddie kept her back to Sam because, all of sudden, her eyes felt shiny. ‘He keeps wandering in and out of your room and then Ash's, looking confused. I think he thinks you're just playing a really good game of hide and seek.'

‘Poor old Guess. I missed you, fellow. I did.'

Maddie busied herself slicing cheese. She assembled the sandwiches and then put them carefully inside the electric sandwich maker, being careful not to press down too hard on the lid. She boiled the kettle and made two milky hot chocolates, bringing one over to the table for Sam.

‘Thanks, Mum.'

Maddie watched as he drank half in one prolonged gulp. ‘And now we need to talk.'

Sam put his mug down and looked up at her, nodding. He had a milk moustache that beaded the fuzz across his upper lip. ‘I want to stay here.'

Maddie passed him a piece of paper towel and then went over to the sink and washed her hands, lathering the soap between her fingers. Repeating his words to herself and letting them leach through her body, leaving joy in their wake. She shook her hands to dry them, watching the droplets arc. Like tiny, translucent fireworks.

‘I want to stay here,' he said again, lifting Guess's paws so that the dog stood upright, and then lowering his face to nuzzle the dog's neck.

Maddie swallowed. On her way back across the kitchen she laid one hand briefly on Sam's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. The sandwich maker started to sizzle as the crisp, creamy smell of melted cheese filled the kitchen. Maddie slid the sandwiches out onto plates, cutting them into small triangles. She brought them over to the table, along with her mug.

‘Are they both mine?' asked Sam, pulling one plate towards him and staring at the other.

‘If they were both yours, why would I have put them on separate plates?'

‘I dunno. Maybe because it's the return of the prodigal son and all that?'

Maddie shook her head slowly and then laughed, despite herself. And this sound did as much to normalise the kitchen as the smell of toasted ham and cheese. She pushed her plate over. ‘There you go, prodigal son.'

Sam tried to look contrite. ‘Not if you wanted it?'

‘Doesn't matter. I'll make myself another one in a minute.'

‘Excellent! Then can you make me some more too?'

‘God! Is your father starving you?'

Sam shrugged. ‘Nah. But it's not the same.'

‘Oh. Okay.' Maddie picked up her hot chocolate and cradled it as she watched her son devour the toasted sandwiches. It seemed so amazing that he was here, right in front of her; yet at the same time it was so ordinary that the past three weeks might have been nothing but a bad dream. She fancied he had grown a little, and that the fuzz on his top lip was a little darker, and the smattering of small pimples on his chin were a little angrier. But he was here, with her. The prodigal son.

‘Were you gonna put those other sandwiches on now?' Sam looked hopefully towards the bench as if the sandwich maker had refilled by magic.

‘In a bit. First we need to talk.'

Sam nodded as he picked up his last triangle and, with one mouthful, took all but the crust. He used this to wipe a fat slither of melted cheese off his plate.

‘Did your father tell you about Tuesday? The court case?'

Sam nodded again, chewing.

‘That he won custody of you both? And I'm only allowed to have weekends?'

Sam swallowed. ‘Yep.'

‘Well, what did he say? Exactly?'

‘Just that we'd still see you, but . . .' Sam paused briefly. ‘Not enough for you to brainwash us any more. That it was his turn now. It was justice.' He paused again and then, when he spoke, it was with the voice of an eight year old. ‘But that's not
fair
! What about what
I
want? How come
I
don't get a say?'

Maddie stared. ‘What did you say to the lawyer from the court?'

‘Who?'

‘Your lawyer. The independent children's lawyer.' Maddie felt a rush of irritation as Sam's face remained blank. ‘An older guy. Grey hair, a little stooped. Um . . . Washington, that was his name. You
must
have seen him at some stage.'

‘There was a guy who spoke to us on the phone. I
think
his name was Wash something or other.'

‘He
rang
? He didn't see you?'

‘Nah, just rang up and spoke to us for a while. It was a bit weird actually because Dad was in the room listening.'

‘I don't believe this,' Maddie frowned. ‘Are you saying he rang you at your father's house and just spoke to you on the phone?' She waited for Sam to nod and then tried to absorb the information. But it jarred, hugely, and flooded her with fury.

‘Not for that long,' added Sam, as if this helped. ‘Just about school and Dad and stuff.'

Maddie spoke through gritted teeth. ‘And Ashley too?'

‘Her for even longer. But that was only coz she knew Dad was listening so she was sucking up to him.' Sam paused, chewing his lip. Then he stared across at his mother. ‘Is that why we have to live with Dad now? Because of what we – she – said?'

Maddie wanted to shout,
Yes, yes of course you pair of bloody fools
, but instead she swallowed the words and waited until they were well gone before she spoke. The fury was harder to push aside, leaching through to tremble alongside each nuance. ‘No, not really. Because there were probably lots of different reasons. That is, I don't think it
helped
, but then there were a few things I did that maybe didn't help either.'

‘Dad said your lawyer sucked shit.'

‘How eloquent of him.'

Sam dipped a finger into his hot chocolate and then sucked it. ‘Can you get a new lawyer?'

‘Yes.' Maddie's mind was still whirling with the ICL, who hadn't even met the children face to face, and had discussed their preferences whilst their father was right there, beside them. She made a supreme effort to adjourn him till later. ‘Tell me about the new house.'

‘You mean Dad's?' Sam waited for her to nod. ‘It's okay. Nothing flash. But it's got a nice outdoor bit, with a spa.'

‘How far from school?'

‘Bit closer than here. Not much though.'

‘And you're all moved in now?'