Sticks and Stones (34 page)

Jake's voice came clearly, clipping off the words. ‘Who is it?'

Sam hesitated. ‘It's Mum.'

‘Tell that fucking bitch to go rot in hell. Better still,
I'll
tell her.' There was a series of dull thumps and then, quite suddenly, Jake's voice was even louder. ‘You there, bitch?'

Maddie took a deep breath, strengthening her anger. ‘Don't talk like that in front of them.'

‘I'll talk any way I fucking want. If you don't like it, hang the fuck up.'

‘Bring me back my kids.'

‘You must be joking. After this last stunt, you'll be lucky if you ever get to see –'

‘You won't be able to do that.' Maddie kept her voice even, with frustration giving it a throaty depth. ‘Even this now, taking them like this, I'll put it in as a contravention.'

‘Try it. Go on, just fucking try it.'

‘I will. Two can play at your game, you know.'

‘You reckon? Really? Play
this
, bitch.'

The phone went abruptly dead, leaving just a hollow nothingness which actually softened his last threat. Maddie suspected that, in the car, the impact had been more threatening with the words accompanied by the phone being thrown somewhere. Perhaps even out the window.

And she could see their hands, splayed against the glass as they stared out at her, willing her to rescue them. Fingerprints a flattened ivory, pressing so hard it seemed that each finger pad was suctioned. Like little starfish.
Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear. One step, two steps – and
tickle
you under there.
But the only hysteria was hers, bubbling up and bursting within her swollen throat because there was simply no room for it to emerge.

Maddie closed her eyes against the little hands and then opened them to return Guess's stare from the doorway. She ran the conversation through her head again. Imagining how Sam and Ashley had felt, sitting in the back seat listening to all that. And Natalie. Maddie felt a sudden surge of anger that
she
must have been there too, just sitting there, not interjecting, not even trying to calm the situation.

She clenched her fists and then strode from the room, pushing Guess out of the way. Coming to a halt in the lounge and staring at the couch, then the window, and then the computer. Quite simply not knowing what to do next. She could feel her eyes tearing over and this annoyed her even more, adding to an anger that seemed to
boil
within. She closed her eyes, scrunching them shut, and then suddenly folded down into a crouched squat, fists still clenched. And
screamed
. A low, fierce, straining sound that went on until she ran out of breath and toppled forwards onto her knees, sucking air in through clenched teeth.

And she was sliding across the table towards him, spilt coffee saturating her T-shirt. Before being yanked up, like a rag doll, until she was centimetres away from his face. Where she stared at him wonderingly, at the pulsing, ropy vein in his forehead, at the flatness of his eyes. And then, without really thinking, sucked saliva into her mouth and spat. Full in his face.

She might have stayed there for even longer had it not been for Guess, coming over to nudge her with his nose, emitting a soft whimper that begged a response. Maddie opened her eyes and drew the dog close, ruffling his fur and murmuring into his grey-black neck. Smelling his pungent, wet-blanket smell. Feeling his heart echo through his shoulder blades and drawing a strange sense of comfort from that alone. After a few minutes she pulled herself to her feet, anger still bubbling but more contained now, more manageable. She unclipped the dog's lead and let it fall to the floor. Then she went back to the kitchen and fetched the phone, using her diary to find the number of the legal centre. Not really surprised when the call went straight through to an answering machine, where it would stay until Monday, two whole days away. Nevertheless Maddie felt a little better after she had left a message for Robyn. As if any action was better than nothing at all.

TWENTY-TWO

W
ithout exception, it was the longest weekend of Maddie's life. Which came with an isolation that stretched each minute, each hour, even further until they strained with a tension that actually hurt. She knew she could have alleviated everything, even if only slightly, by visiting Hannah or Kim, or simply calling them. Explaining what had happened, sharing. But alongside her frustration was an unwillingness to admit that things had gone so quickly wrong. And she didn't want sympathy, was
tired
of sympathy, especially so soon after tasting the sweetness of their praise.

She tried ringing Sam, and then Ashley. Over and over and over. But each time the call went straight to the automated message announcing that the person was unavailable. She soon
hated
that voice. Hated the robotic smugness, hated the non-negotiable anonymity, hated
him
for using it to punish her. He who giveth, also taketh away. But by Sunday evening she had moved beyond the stomach-clenching anger of Friday, the frustration of Saturday. By Sunday evening it felt like the extremities of her punishment were fading, with only hours before she was back at work, speaking to Robyn, finding out what she could do. And it felt like a prison sentence that was finally drawing to a close.

She rang Robyn on the dot of nine o'clock, standing outside the back door at work with her mobile pressed to her ear. Crossing her fingers that the lawyer was available. Waiting impatiently for the receptionist to transfer her call.

‘Hello, Robyn Leslie speaking.'

‘Robyn, it's Maddie McCourt, we met last week.' Maddie was aware she was speaking too fast so she took a breath, slowed herself down. ‘You served my ex with a variation of interim orders on Friday.'

‘Maddie! Of
course
I remember. What's up?'

Maddie hesitated, the warmth of Robyn's voice bringing sudden, unexpected tears to her eyes. ‘Um, he didn't drop the kids off. On Friday. He got served early and got angry so he took them away for the weekend. And took their phones off them so I couldn't even speak to them.'

‘
Christ
,' snapped Robyn, all warmth gone. ‘What
is
it with this sort of crap?'

‘I don't know. I suppose he's trying to punish me.'

‘Obviously. So how're you holding up?'

Maddie wiped her eyes roughly with her free hand. ‘Okay, I guess. Just . . . frustrated.'

‘Don't blame you.'

‘But I want to
see
them. What can I do?'

Robyn sighed, quite audibly. ‘Interesting question. And the short answer is – not much. Unfortunately this isn't unusual. But we're back on his time now and there's no good trying to play tit for tat, not with a court case coming up.'

‘So . . . I do
nothing
?'

‘Not quite. You come in here at some stage today, the earlier the better, and fill out an affidavit detailing exactly what happened. I'll let the desk know you're coming if I'm out. Then I'll file a contravention application ASAP and with a bit of luck we'll get it included on the existing court date. And, Maddie, I know it's hard but you have to look on the bright side.'

‘The bright side?'

‘Yes, he's digging his own grave.'

‘Oh,' Maddie closed her eyes and then opened them again to see sunlight filtering through the pine tree by the main community centre, flickering drunkenly when it reached the ground.

‘Maddie? Are you there?'

‘Yes. Okay.' Maddie adjusted the phone, tucking it in tighter. ‘I'll be there as soon as I can.'

‘Excellent. See you then.'

Maddie lowered the phone, pressing
End
but not moving. Watching the shadows underneath the pine, trying to recapture the optimism that had infected her throughout the preceding week. Going through everything bit by bit. The windfall, Robyn, university, the support group, the kids wanting to come home. Breathing each of them in, deeply, and
sensing
them making a difference. But still feeling weighed down by all that had happened, and all that yet had to be done.

It was a feeling that dogged her throughout the day, still present when she pulled into the driveway after work. She locked the car and then stood staring at the long grass that was rapidly getting out of hand. At this rate it would be too far gone to mow and she would have to hire someone to slash it first. Maddie sighed, more glum than cross, and made a mental note to call the mower repair shop. At the very least they should be able to lend her something. She pulled the mail from the letterbox and checked it as she walked up into the backyard, keeping her eyes averted from the grass there. Electricity bill, rental receipt, dental reminder for Ashley. And a letter from the tax office. She paused by the porch and tore this last one open, not terribly surprised to find a notification that they were investigating her tax situation. Jake must have contacted them almost immediately, and she was quite sure an investigation by the child support agency would follow, as well as any other bureaucracies he had been able to think of.

She stared at the letter, frustrated more by the ease with which he could harass her than the investigation itself. Then she made a conscious decision to file this, and any similar letters to follow, somewhere safe until after custody was sorted. It was simply too much, right now, and she had to prioritise for everyone's sake. Including her own. Maddie folded the letter over and slipped all the mail into her handbag before she unlocked the back door. Swinging it open, waiting for Guess to push his way through, momentarily surprised when he didn't.

‘Guess?' Maddie pushed the door open even further and the first thing she saw, because it was lying on the floor right by the kitchen table, was the school bag. She stared, stunned, the implications buffeted by a rapidly mushrooming delight.

‘Boo!' yelled Ashley, jumping out from behind the door, grinning stupidly.

‘Ash!' Maddie grabbed her and hugged her and then thrust her away. ‘You do realise that if I hadn't seen that bag, I probably would've had a heart attack when you did that? Hey?'

‘And I would have visited you in hospital.' Ashley did a little jig of excitement, Guess leaping up beside her with his tail whipping through the air.

‘That would have been a bit hard if I was dead.'

‘Graveyard then.' Ashley kicked her bag out of the way so that she could pull out her usual chair, sit down. Her smile disappeared. ‘Can I stay? Please?'

Maddie put her handbag down on the table, staring at her daughter. ‘What's happened?'

‘You know. Dad went crazy. I just don't want to
be
there any more.'

‘Anything else?'

‘Isn't that enough?'

‘Well, does anyone know you're here?' Maddie waited for Ashley to shake her head and then she reached out, ran a hand gently through her daughter's hair. It was up in the high ponytail again, with curving tendrils on either side of her face, making her look both older and younger at the same time. Maddie took a deep breath quietly and let it out again, wondering about the ramifications, and whether it was only going to make things worse. She crossed to the stove and put the kettle on, getting out mugs from the cupboard.

‘You didn't see him, Mum, especially in the car. He went
nuts
.'

With her back to Ashley, Maddie smiled flatly, knowingly. She spooned Milo and sugar into the mugs and got out the milk.

‘And before we went he punched this
wall
, put a huge
hole
in it.'

Maddie poured hot water into the mugs and brought them over to the table. Guess brushed past her legs and walked over to his bowl, looking back hopefully.

‘Like there was plaster stuff just
hanging
there. You could see
inside
.'

‘Okay.' Maddie put Ashley's hot chocolate in front of her and then sat down, wrapping her hands around her own mug. ‘You'd better tell me what happened, from start to finish.'

Ashley nodded eagerly. ‘Well, first we got home from school and there was no one there and that was fine so we just got some stuff together for here. Then Dad and Natalie came home together, in his car. Early. And he brought KFC for a treat, a whole big bucket full. Then this guy came to the door and Dad went berserk.'

Maddie waited for a moment. ‘Um, well yes, that's the bit I want to hear about.'

‘Sure, okay. Well, I didn't actually see him coz I was eating but Dad talked to him for a while and then came back with this big envelope. And Natalie started getting all jittery like.' Ashley paused to roll her eyes and shake her hands as if she was fitting. Maddie had to swallow a sudden, unexpected laugh. ‘So Dad stood over by the bench reading through this stuff, and he kept saying . . . can I say what he said?'

‘No.'

‘Then how are you going to know exactly what happened?'

‘I'll use my imagination.'

‘Whatever.' Ashley shrugged, clearly disappointed. ‘So anyway he swore. A lot. Called you some really bad names, and Sam and I were just looking at each other and thinking sh-
iit
. Well, we were!'

‘I believe you.' Maddie squeezed her hands, feeling the heat from the mug seep through. ‘Did he say anything
particular
though? Anything I really should know?'

Ashley chewed her bottom lip, thinking. ‘He did start going on about someone called Hilda something or other. Like, he was saying, “Hilda whatever! Who the F is Hilda whatever!” Except
he
didn't just say F.'

‘Hilda Kaltenbrunner?'

‘That's it! Sam thought she might be someone who lived near us when we were in the unit?'

Maddie nodded. Knowing that Hilda's affidavit, attached to the service papers, would have been enough, just by itself, to send Jake off the deep end. Because he would have instantly known how damaging it was.