Sticks and Stones (6 page)

‘Not like you kissed Louey they don’t. I know cause Annabelle Evans kissed me on the lips at school during kiss chase, and everyone said that made her my girlfriend.’ Benji’s nose was crinkled in disgust; clearly this turn of events was not welcomed.

‘Lou’s not my girlfriend Benji,’ Dylan could feel his patience slipping at this increasingly bizarre conversation, and the hollow feeling he had at this denial wasn’t helping. Benji crossed his arms over his small but puffed up chest.

‘Just so you know,’ he told Dylan. ‘I’ve decided to marry Louey when I grow up. She’s funny, she makes great eggs, she reads great stories, and she tickles really well.’

‘Okay,’ Dylan said slowly, fighting a smile. Benji’s criteria for a wife might not be that extensive but Dylan thought he’d got a lot of the important stuff covered. ‘Don’t worry little man, I won’t stand in your way.’

Benji narrowed his eyes at him.

‘So if I was to tell Mummy and Auntie Frankie about you kissing Louey…’

Dylan sighed. ‘What do you want kid?’

‘Well, there was this new hot wheel track…’ Benji looked up at Dylan expectantly.

‘Fine,’ Dylan snapped, digging in his pocket and producing a pound coin. Benji looked at Dylan’s extended hand with disgust.

‘That wouldn’t even buy a hot wheel car.’

Dylan huffed and fished out a tenner, but Benji just lifted one eyebrow (how a kid of five could pull off an eyebrow raise Dylan had no idea) and kept his arms crossed across his chest. Dylan swore under his breath and managed to find a second tenner in his wallet. Benji lowered his eyebrow, snatched both tenners out of Dylan’s hand, and, after throwing his a supremely smug look, sauntered out of the kitchen to settle in next to his future wife on the sofa.

Vicious

Lou looked across the conference room and smiled at Rich. He returned her smile very briefly with a tight one of his own, then quickly looked away. Well that was just brilliant; she’d managed to piss off one of the nicest, most laid back men she’d ever met.

They had both been dancing around the issue for weeks, with Rich making it clear that he was interested and Lou responding to his flirting, but never really letting it get any further. There was always the old fallback of the fact that he was her boss as an excuse before, but she had known that things were probably going to come to a head at the New Year’s Eve party. Come January the third she would rotate to Dr Hudson’s team, and so in Rich’s eyes that path was relatively clear.

Lou had been sort of looking forward to taking things further with him and had been trying to psyche herself up for exactly that over the last week. But when it came down to it, and the time came to actually bite the bullet and let him kiss her, she just couldn’t do it. 

She didn’t understand why on earth he didn’t float her boat. Objectively she could see that he was attractive, with his lean frame clad in a tailored suit, sandy, perfectly styled hair and deep blue eyes. But when she looked at him she felt…nothing. He was good-looking, polite, respectful, and, most importantly, actually interested in her. In theory all of this should have been preferable to gorgeous but scruffy, cheeky, relentlessly teasing, and only interested in her when he was completely blotto; but when Lou tried to focus on Rich’s attributes all she could think of was green eyes, dark hair, a far more built frame, and a mischievous smile.

She sighed as she tried to re-engage with the subject of the meeting. Trainees was it?

‘So that’s why we’ve brought you all here today,’ Dr Hudson addressed Lou and the other registrars. ‘I know it sounds a little harsh but under the circumstances we all agreed in the consultants’ meeting that there was little other choice. Unfortunately “The Orthopod” has behaved abysmally for the entire six months and –‘

‘What?’ Lou interrupted frantically. What had she missed? Was Dylan in trouble?

‘Do try to keep up Sands,’ Miles said smugly. ‘They’re trying to get your mate chucked off the training scheme.’

Lou’s face paled and she started to feel a little sick. Chuck him off the scheme? For the first time she noticed a couple of orthopaedic consultants, Mr Kent and Mr Aird, sitting at the end of the table. Normally this meeting was just for medical consultants and registrars.

‘In this instance an example needs to be made,’ Dr Hudson put in. ‘We can’t just have these arrogant orthopaedic surgeons waltzing in, disrupting the department, and taking absolutely no interest whatsoever in anything not involving hammers and power tools. That is not the point of the joint training scheme.’

‘No.’ Lou was gripping the table in front of her and had half risen out of her seat. When she realized that all eyes in the conference room had swung to her, she sat back down heavily and felt her face flame. ‘Um…what I mean is…’ Lou thought frantically to try and come up with something, anything to get Dylan out of trouble. He couldn’t get kicked off the rotation; orthopaedics was his dream.

‘He’s made more effort than you think,’ she went on, taking one of her hands off the table to cross her fingers on her lap. ‘And…and the patients love him.’ At least that much was true. Dylan had charmed the socks off everyone, from patients, to nurses and physios (bar a couple of bitter ones, having been given the morning-after brush off). Even Dr Hudson wasn’t completely immune to his appeal.

Rich cleared his throat and gave Lou a kind smile. ‘We understand that he’s your friend Lou, but the fact that he gets on with people doesn’t excuse the persistent lateness, unexplained absences, and lack of effort when he does actually bother showing up.’

‘He’s had several warnings,’ Dr Hudson added.

‘Okay then,’ boomed Mr Kent from the other end of the table (his voice seemed to be set on a range of different levels of posh boom, you could literally hear him across the whole hospital on a clear day). ‘Jolly poor show of Griffiths, not denying that he should have bally well pulled his finger out. Tricky situation, he’s a damn fine fellow and a chuffing good surgeon. I suppose an example should be made.’ He shifted in his seat. ‘But throwing him off the rotation seems a bit harsh. Couldn’t we come to some sort of compromise…’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Dr Hudson, puffing up in her seat, ‘but the same standards should be applied to “The Orthopod” that are to our own trainees, and if one of ours had consistently and deliberately underperformed they would be out on their ear. I see no reason to make an exception for Dr Griffiths.’

Taking a deep breath and hoping that she wasn’t flushing her career down the toilet Lou straightened in her seat and said, ‘That’s not necessarily true Dr Hudson.’ Elaine Hudson swung her furious gaze to Lou and looked like her head might explode at this level of insubordination. ‘What I mean is,’ Lou hurried on. ‘We would consider a period of supervision, trying to get them up to standard.’

Dr Hudson’s eyebrows shot up but it was Rich who answered. ‘That’s as maybe Lou but I doubt that anyone wants to babysit Dylan for any longer, and we don’t have any spare training places.’

‘Look, he’s doing a fellowship over the next six months isn’t he?’ Lou asked Mr Kent who nodded, looking a bit bemused. ‘Well couldn’t he spend a couple of sessions a week in elderly care under supervision whilst he does the fellowship?’ She turned to Dr Hudson. ‘We
are
short staffed. Any extra help we can get can’t be bad, can it?’

‘Hmph, that depends on the kind of help,’ Dr Hudson said, ‘and anyway who’s going to supervise him?’

Lou looked at all the other registrars in turn pleadingly. They all studiously avoided her gaze except for Miles who looked straight at her with a smug smile on his face. She sighed, ‘I’ll do it.’

‘Out of the question,’ Rich bit out in an uncharacteristically sharp tone.

‘Now just wait a minute Dr Morris,’ Dr Hudson interrupted. ‘Lou might have something there. I hope your friend will be grateful Lou; you’ve just saved his bacon.’

*****

‘You bitch,’ Dylan shouted across the mess. Lou jumped in her seat on the sofa and looked across the room to where Dylan was towering in the doorway, shaking with fury.

‘W…what?’ The heads that had turned to the direction of Dylan’s outburst now swung to Lou as if watching a match on centre court. It was lunchtime and the mangy old sofas and chairs were crammed with doctors of all specialties. The promise of a little hospital gossip was enough to distract most from the telly.

‘Don’t pretend you don’t know,’ Dylan said, taking a step towards her, his fists balled at his sides. ‘Did it occur to you that something would have to give if I spend two bloody sessions a week with the grave dodgers? My research is now completely shot to shit, thanks to you.’

‘Dylan I –‘

‘Don’t you dare give me any of your sanctimonious bullshit about how I should have taken an interest whilst I had the opportunity. As if wasting four months of my bloody life pill-pushing to grannies is going to help me be a fucking surgeon.’ He slashed a hand through the air dismissively and took another step towards Lou, his finger now pointing at her. ‘You’re a selfish, spoiled, posh, vain, attention-seeking little brat.’ Lou had now risen from the sofa, and he advanced towards her, disregarding all the curious stares. ‘You’ve always irritated the shit out of me. I knew you were a nasty piece of work but I never thought you’d sink this low.’

Lou never, but never, cried in public. She could feel the prickling behind her eyes but she refused to let the tears fall. Fuck him. Louise Sands was not a shrinking violet; she was a Goddamn Amazon and she didn’t have to take this kind of abuse. Pushing aside the pain of Dylan’s vicious words and the fact that whilst she had been desperately in love with him for over a decade, he apparently found her to be an irritating bitch, she drew herself up to her full height, put her hands on her hips and swallowed the lump in her throat.

‘How
dare
you talk to me like that,’ she spat at him, moving around the sofa so that they were nearly toe to toe. ‘You don’t know what I’ve done for you-‘

‘Oh please, spare me. The dragon lady already gave me the whole “wonderful opportunity” speech. She made it clear this nightmare was your idea and that I had no fucking choice anyway.’

‘No, Dylan listen. You don’t understand. I – ‘

‘What don’t I understand?’ he snarled. ‘What? Are you so desperate to spend time with me that you engineered an extra three months with me hanging on your coat tails?’ Lou blinked then paled, taking a step back and hitting the back of the sofa. He’d come so close to the mark that she started to feel a little sick. In truth, she always looked forward to spending time with Dylan. There was nobody who could make her laugh as hard or who gave her a buzz by just being near them. ‘Well you might be beautiful on the outside, but you’re ugly as sin underneath and I wouldn’t touch you if my life depended on it.’

‘I think you’ve said enough Dylan.’ Frankie stepped in between them and gave Dylan a small shove (well, Lou suspected that Frankie hadn’t intended it to be small, but even with all her weight behind it, it was never going to have that much effect on Dylan’s bulk), looking uncharacteristically furious. Her intervention seemed to snap Dylan out of his angry tirade. He looked around at all the others in the mess, then back at Lou over Frankie’s head. There was a flash of what looked like regret, maybe even panic across his face before he turned away.

‘Fine, take her side. See if I care,’ he muttered, before swinging around and stomping towards the door of the mess. But before leaving he turned back to Lou again. ‘You know what? I think I can finally understand where your mum was coming from.’ Lou’s chin jerked back as if Dylan had struck her. She felt herself start to shut down.

He knew. He knew all about her family. He’d met them for God’s sake. He knew the way it was for Lou, the way it had always been.

‘If you were this much of a pain in the arse growing up, no wonder she fucking hates your guts.’

Lou heard Frankie gasp next to her but it was like everything was coming through a dark tunnel. Dylan looked her up and down slowly and curled his lip. ‘See you around,
Boss
.’ With that effective parting shot he swept through the doorway, slamming the door behind him.

Lou had thought that she was impervious to embarrassment of any form, but as she stood shaking in the middle of the mess with everyone watching her, and her nose stinging as tears threatened again, she realized that she might have been wrong.

Blank

Dylan was in a foul mood. He’d been in a foul mood for the last three days, since his appraisal and the fight with Lou. At first he was just angry with Lou. How dare she mark him down and make sure that he had to waste even more of his time granny fiddling? He knew that he hadn’t been the most helpful member of her team but he never thought she would punish him like this, effectively scuppering his chance of a research project. Without the project his CV didn’t stand a chance, his career would be in the toilet. Mr Kent had explained the whole thing in his usual ham-fisted manner:

‘Jolly bad luck old boy but seems you’ve got to spend a bit more time in purgatory before you can get on with the real stuff. That dolly-bird registrar came up with the idea.’ (Mr Kent was completely unashamed when referring to any member of female staff as a dolly-bird, even to their faces. This didn’t always go down too well – Dr Hudson being a case in point. Despite being only in his fifties he seemed to be stuck a good few decades, maybe even a century, in the past.) ‘Afraid that it rather puts the kibosh on the old research, but I offered it up to Percy and he jumped at the chance.’

Percy was not actually called Percy, but Mr Kent seemed to think it suited Luke better, and if Luke wanted to get ahead in orthopaedics, and Mr Kent wanted to call him Percy, then Percy it was. Dylan would just bet that Percy jumped at the chance. That research project would have been the key to a winning CV. 

Unfortunately, now that Dylan had shouted at Lou in the mess in front of the whole bloody hospital he was not only angry at her but at himself as well.

Okay so she’d royally screwed him over, but he shouldn’t have gone crazy like that. He’d lost control and said stuff he didn’t even mean. If he was honest he couldn’t even remember half of what he’d said, such was his extreme anger. But from the way both Frankie and Lou were avoiding him, and the hurt look on Lou’s face after he’d let rip, he thought it was probably pretty bad.

Not that he had gone out of his way to see the girls either. Normally he would hang around their flat, or lately Tom’s house, in the hopes of a few meals and some banter. But instead he’d spent a miserable weekend either drinking with the other bone docs of an evening, or watching TV in his flat. He hadn’t even been able to have sex to get his mind off the situation, and not for lack of offers; the stunning blonde surgical core trainee had been gagging for it at the pub.

The truth was, he hadn’t actually shagged anyone in weeks. These bloody dreams were messing with his head. He thought it might be better not seeing her everyday, but if anything it had actually made them worse. It seemed as though every time he closed his eyes a fresh image of Lou would pop into his mind, and now, not only was he confronted by half-naked visions of a happy, laughing Lou, but also by the awful look of pain on her beautiful face and the unshed tears in her eyes after he’d shouted at her.

As he strode into the rehab hospital and Lou looked up from the ward desk he realized that there was yet another image to haunt him: that of Lou’s blank face, her normally expressive eyes wiped clean of any emotion. His gut started churning and he had a strange feeling of panic.

‘Babes I…look I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you in front of the mess like that. It was totally out of order.’

‘Forget about it,’ she said with a small formal smile that made the churning in Dylan’s gut step up a notch. ‘I’m sure you had your reasons. Let’s just try to get through this, okay?’ Dylan was about to say something, anything to wipe that cool detachment off her face and get back to the Lou he knew, when she suddenly shoved a piece of paper in his hand just before they were interrupted.

‘Right kids,’ Rich said as he sauntered up the desk, seeming oblivious to the tension crackling in the air. One of the many things Dylan hated about this guy was his habit of calling his juniors (bearing in mind that most of them were only a few years younger than him) kids. ‘What’s on the menu? Dylan?’

‘Um…’ Christ. He’d forgotten to print the list again, or go through the notes, or ask the ward staff about the patients.

‘Dylan,’ Lou prompted, ‘I think Dr Morris wants to start going through the list you’ve made.’ She widened her eyes at him and then nodded towards the paper in his hand. He looked down and realized that it was a patient list. No, not just a printed list, but one with notes in the margin by each patient.

All the information Dylan needed was there: reason for admission, social situation and progress, even down to level of mobility. It must have taken Lou ages. Rich was looking at Dylan with a smug expression, obviously waiting for him to fuck up. Dylan looked back at Lou; she was now making big eyes at him and raising her eyebrows, looking adorably frustrated. He felt himself relax slightly; anything was better than her dead expression from a moment ago.

He cleared his throat. ‘Right so, first patient is…Mr Townsend.’ He checked the list and saw that Lou had written all the bed numbers in bold by each name. Looking surreptitiously around the ward he caught sight of the number he needed and started striding over to what he hoped was the appropriate patient.

He glanced at Lou as he was reeling off the details from the list once they reached the patients, and his chest felt tight again. Gone was the animation in her features. She was back to the lifeless look from before.

As he continued to lead a seamless ward round (thanks to Lou’s copious notes) he was getting more and more angry. If Rich put his fucking hands on Lou one more time Dylan swore he would punch him right in his lecherous face. For her part Lou wasn’t exactly encouraging this, but at the same time she wasn’t putting any effort into overtly discouraging it either. She appeared to have morphed into a strangely robotic version of herself, her usual vibrancy and spirit only making brief appearances for the patients’ benefit.

‘Hi Alun.’ She smiled at the next patient whom Dylan recognized from the stroke ward. Alun’s resemblance in both appearance and personality to Father Jack out of ‘Father Ted’ was uncanny, the only difference being that he had a thick Welsh accent instead of a thick Irish one.

Alun was not an easy patient. He had obviously been incredibly independent before his stroke and he did not take the loss of this well. He came in after collapsing at home and spending nearly two days lying on his kitchen floor (his niece felt terribly guilty about not checking on him sooner, but considering his last words to her were ‘fuck off unless you’ve got whisky you stupid cow’ it was understandable).

‘Bugger off,’ Alun muttered and Lou beamed at him.

‘Brilliant Alun! You’re speech is so much better.’ Lou’s face was shining with excitement and Alun rolled his eyes, but Dylan could see the side of his mouth that wasn’t permanently pulled down from the stroke was twitching slightly. Even this old bastard wasn’t immune to Lou’s charm.

‘Hey Lila,’ Rich said from the end of the bed, and Dylan watched as the dark-haired physio he had hoped to avoid in the coming months approached them. Lila smiled at Rich and Lou, then flashed Dylan a look of annoyance. Dylan noticed Lou looking down at her hands briefly and taking a deep breath, before she looked up at Lila with an oddly strained smile.

‘I see you’ve been working your magic Lil,’ Lou said.

The annoyance cleared from Lila’s features and her pretty face lit with enthusiasm. ‘He’s mobilizing with a frame brilliantly,’ she told them.

‘Fuckin…frame…bullshit,’ Alun slurred from the bed, glowering at Lila.

‘Now Alun,’ Lila chided. ‘We’ve talked about this. The frame is your friend; it provides the extra support with balance and stability you need at the moment.’

Alun continued to glower at her, curling his lip, and Lila’s enthusiastic expression faltered slightly. Clearly done with discussions of frames and mobility, Alun turned to Lou and grabbed the drug chart out of her hands with his good hand.

‘Beer,’ he said, pointing at the chart and scowling at Lou.

‘Right, sorry Alun,’ she muttered, still smiling as she added a daily pint of Guinness onto the end of the drug chart, which had obviously been rewritten overnight leaving out the most essential part (at least in Alun’s opinion). After she was done Alun grunted in satisfaction, then scowled at all of them, barking, ‘Now, Cachau bant*.’  Dylan grinned and shook his head as the others looked at each other in confusion.

‘I think he wants us to move on,’ he told them. ‘Oh, and he thanks you for your time.’ Alun narrowed his eyes at Dylan who decided to usher everyone out of the cubicle before Alun really lost it.

‘Thanks for that Lila,’ Rich said once they were out in the main ward again. ‘Do you have time to fill us in on the other patients?’ Lila flicked another wary glance at Dylan and he sighed.

‘I’ll go check if the sister is out of handover yet,’ he said, moving away toward the ward desk and noticing Lila visibly relaxing. Maybe, just maybe he should have considered keeping his dick in his pants for once. It wasn’t as though he didn’t like Lila when he slept with her four months ago; it’s just that something had been missing.

He gave it a go. They went out a couple of times and she even came over to the flat, but it just wasn’t working for him. The clincher had been when they’d started watching ‘Anchorman’ together. Ron Burgundy had told Veronica Cornerstone ‘I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.’ Lila didn’t even crack a smile. One of the funniest moments in film and it completely passed her by. Now when
he’d
first watched that scene he had nearly choked to death on his pizza. Lou had laughed so hard coke had come flying out of her nose, and disgustingly she had informed Dylan that she might have peed in her knickers a bit. 

After that he’d known that things weren’t going anywhere with Lila. He’d still thrown out a couple of Blackadder quotes to see if she could redeem herself, but she just stared at him blankly. When he thought back on things it seemed that he never spent more than a few weeks or days with a woman before he had decided that they didn’t measure up. They didn’t laugh the right way, were too prudish, didn’t swear enough, didn’t fill the room with their energy and vitality, didn’t wear ridiculous heels at all times, didn’t strut around like their life was a romantic comedy and they were the main character, didn’t have clear blue eyes or long, thick, lush, wavy blonde hair…

‘Did you find her?’ Dylan jumped slightly and realized that he had been staring at the ward desk for God knows how long. Lou was looking up at him with her head tilted adorably to the side in confusion. She waved her hand in front of his face. ‘Hello, anyone there?’ Her brows drew together in frustration and Dylan found himself thinking that that was adorable too. ‘Listen Dildo, you’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t want to be here but please, please just pay attention for the length of the ward round. Once the boss leaves you can go back to theatre or whatever you like okay?’

‘Lou I…’ Dylan shook his head in an attempt to clear it. Wasn’t this all Lou’s idea? Wasn’t it Lou who told the bosses that he wasn’t up to scratch? Why would she let him bugger off whenever he liked. Something didn’t add up. ‘I don’t understand, what – ?‘

‘Look,’ Lou interrupted, her tone fierce and her blank mask slipping to reveal what look alarmingly like pain in her features, ‘you’ve made it quite clear that you don’t want to be around me, and that all this,’ she waved her hand at the packed rehab ward, ‘is a waste of your time. Just put on a show for the bosses and then get back to your hammer and nails.’

‘Lou, please. I’ve said I’m sorry and I meant it. I behaved like a complete twat, but I didn’t mean – ‘

‘I know what you meant,’ Lou’s harsh whisper cut through Dylan’s admittedly feeble explanations, and he felt that weird constrictive feeling in his chest again. He watched with no small amount of panic as Lou wiped the pain from her features and replaced it with the blank mask that he was starting to find vaguely disturbing. ‘Let’s just forget it okay? We’ll get through the next three months with you spending as little time as possible “pill pushing to grannies” as you put it. Put on a front for the bosses and then we can both get on with our lives.’

‘Do you forgive me babes?’ Dylan reached out to touch her arm, and then clenched his jaw so hard it ached when she flinched back from him.

‘Of course,’ she muttered, not quite meeting his eyes. Dylan clenched his jaw even harder.

Fine. If she wanted to shut down on him that was fine. Two could play at that game. And if she was going to let him leave early and do all the work for him he decided that was fine too. She was the one that had recommended this for him in the first place and royally screwed up his plans. So what if he’d been a bit cruel? It wasn’t as if she was in love with him or anything.