Sticks (Black Addiction #2) (3 page)

Me? Pass out? Not a fucking chance.

I wasn’t a pussy who went lights out at the drop of a hat.

Why was it so hot in here?

And why the hell couldn’t I fucking breathe?

“What the fuck?” The world suddenly snapped back into focus, the slap across my face helping it along. “Did you just hit me?” My palm moved to my cheek where the sting was still spreading across my skin.

Her hand hitting me had thawed some of the evil, a slight smile creeping up at the edges of her lips. “You looked like you were going to collapse, I had to do something.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Do you want me to hit you again?” The offer giving her more pleasure than it ought to, her smile widened as she raised her hand.

“No, I think I’ve got it from here.”

It was reassuring to
see I wasn’t the only one who had freaked the hell out. Joey’s face had paled to the color of the DJ’s new Adidas, gravity fighting him while he tried to remain upright.

I knew the feeling, the same terror had gripped me a few hours before—I’d just had a little more time to get used to it. And while I was mad as hell he hadn’t returned my phone calls from earlier today, I wasn’t a complete heartless bitch.

“I didn’t want to do this here.” My eyes floated around the room filled to capacity with Black Addiction fans, drinking and laughing oblivious to the occupation in my uterus. “But I tried calling you all day, and I didn’t know if you would call back.”

We didn’t do the lets-chat on the phone. The conversations we’d had were pretty limited, either sexting or face-to-face. So given we didn’t have the kind of relationship that involved burning my AT&T minutes, there was a very real chance I was going to be getting intimate with his voicemail. Which is why I needed to take matters into my own hands, and why I was here instead of curled up in a fetal position on my bed like I had been hours earlier.

“I thought you were calling to—” He stopped midsentence, a hand rising to rub the back of his neck. “Last time had been pretty hard to forget.” There was no sarcasm in his voice.

“Considering the result, I’d say neither of us are going to forget in a hurry.”
Yeah, I was incubating the lifelong reminder as we spoke.

“Should we go somewhere? And talk?” The cool calm exterior he usually radiated was missing in action as he glanced around the room of bodies. “Outside?”

“Is that what you really want to do?” My eyes darted around the club with no sign of a reprieve. The wall-to-wall people didn’t give us much opportunity for privacy. Outside wasn’t going to be any better, not unless he was packing an invisibility cloak in his pocket. What was in his pants was kind of magical, unfortunately not of the Hogwarts variety, which is what we needed.

I hadn’t given this whole exercise much thought past my grand announcement. It wasn’t my brain that put me in the car and drove from Brooklyn to Midtown. Oh hell no. It was pure emotion. First panic when he wouldn’t answer my calls, followed by anger that he was ignoring me.

Irrationality was the voice that shouted the loudest as I convinced myself that coming down to the club and announcing to him he was about to become a father was a good idea. Now I wasn’t so sold it was the best course of action. A little late to be having second thoughts—the baby in my belly further proof that I needed better forward planning.

“Fuck, I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do.” He looked around helplessly; the crowd around us oblivious to what was going on. His confusion and uncertainty were unable to be hidden, even if the color had started to come back into his face.

“Well, I’m not exactly sure either,” I admitted, my game plan completely being fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. “I freaked out earlier; the calm I’ve got going on at the moment is a complete ruse.” I neglected to mention how many times I’d thrown up as well. No point being completely vulnerable.

“Are you going to keep it?” His face grimaced like he wasn’t sure it was the right thing to say. My hand had not so long ago slapped his face, so it was a very real possibility my palm would find its way back there. I’ll admit, I thought about it. My fingers twitching at things I really didn’t want to hear.

“Yes. I’m going to keep
it
. I’m not having an abortion.” The words came out a lot terser than I’d intended. “I’m having this baby.”

Sure it would be easier if the problem just went away. I’d even entertained the idea for about two seconds before I realized I could never actually follow through with it. No, even if it meant raising this baby alone, I was going to bring this baby into the world.

“You guys cool?” Max interrupted our intimate conversation. Neither of us having noticed his return, the beer in his hand the only proof he’d left in the first place.

“Yeah. All good. Everything’s fine.” Joey’s head nodded as random assurances were rapidly fired out of his mouth.

“O-Kay.” He looked skeptical as he turned his attention to me. “Kenzie, you sticking around? You want a beer?”

“No,” Joey shot back before I’d managed to respond. “She can’t drink beer. Are you crazy?” The crazy clearly coming from the man who was speaking rather than the dude offering me the beer.

“Thanks, Max.” I didn’t even bother to explain Joey’s erratic behavior. “I’m driving tonight so no beer for me.” The only excuse I could think of made its way out of my mouth. “Better to be safe than sorry,” I lamely added, because I was one hundred percent sold no one would be convinced that operating a car would be a good reason to turn down
one
beer.

“You guys are both acting strange.” Max’s eyes ping-ponged between us. The beer bottle in his hand lifted to his lips as he took a swallow. “Someone want to clue me in on what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” We both answered in stereo, neither of us ready to share our news just yet.

“Right.” Max smirked not even trying to hide how much he didn’t believe us. “Well, Joey, if you can tear yourself away from the
nothing
you have going on, we have some people you should meet.” His head jerked to where the rest of the band was hanging out. Men in suits smiled as Rusty and Angie signed some promotional posters while smart phones documented every second.

“Ummm.” Joey looked between me and the group Max had urged him to join. Genuine fear flashed through his eyes. “Can you stay?” His hand reached for mine, his fingers gently moving up my arm making my skin tingle. “Please. I’ll get done as soon as I can and then we’ll talk. Don’t leave.”

Well. Fuck.

While I still had fantasies of ripping body parts off his still-breathing body—namely the parts that got us into this mess in the first place—I couldn’t deny how charming he was. It was that charm that had made him so unbelievably attractive in the first place. That, and his body looking like it was designed by God as my own personal playground. The button-down shirt he was wearing did little to hide the ripped torso that was housed underneath and his jeans were doing wonderful things for his ass.

Ugh.

This would have been easier on the phone when I didn’t have to look at all of
that.

“Maybe you can stop by my place after you’re done. It will be easier to talk there.” My mouth volunteered without proper consultation with my brain.

See? Clearly I can’t be trusted when I’m around him because I make stupid decisions. The first being unprotected sex despite not being on the pill. Then asking him to come back to my place because it worked out so well for us the last time I invited him back. Did I even have an ounce of common sense left? Surely this had bad idea written all over it.

“Thanks.” His hand made its way down my arm as the smile that always seemed to sucker me in spread across his lips. “I won’t be long.”

While Max didn’t seem sold on the
we’re-okay
we’d tried to convince him of, he didn’t push it any further. A weary look was shot my way as he and Joey shuffled off in the direction where Angie and Rusty where standing. The crowd quickly engulfed them and they disappeared from sight, leaving me standing alone with a room full of people I had no interest in.

God this sucked.

Any other time this was exactly the kind of party I’d be into. It didn’t even matter that it wasn’t my band whose success we were celebrating, just that someone we knew made it.

Now, I stood in the crowded bar feeling like all of that had passed me by. A reminder that my life was going to take a detour.

Fuck these emotions.

I needed to go home before I either threw up or cried.

***

“Hey.” Joey stood on my front stoop, the knock at the door happening a few moments earlier. “Sorry I’m late, I tried to get away earlier.” The wide-eyed surprise still being the most visible emotion he displayed.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t expecting you to drop everything.” I motioned my head at him to come inside, sparing my neighbors from having to hear about my irresponsibility. It was the least I could do given I kept them up sometimes with late night guitar practice. The door closed noisily behind him as he walked into my hallway.

“So . . .” Joey followed me into my living room. “I was thinking.” His restless hands tapped an unheard rhythm against his thigh as I turned to face him.

Clearly the idea had had some time to marinate. My big announcement in the club had shaken his usual cocky demeanor, the guy in front of me not the same guy I’d slept with a month and a half ago. I fought the urge to smile; secretly glad he was just as rattled as I had been. Even if it showed me no indication of what it was that he was actually
thinking
.

“Awesome. You want to share these genius thoughts?” My hands found their way onto my hips as I waited to be wowed by whatever bright idea he’d concocted.

Joey had talent. What he could do in a bedroom was only surpassed by what he could make happen on a drum kit. And in those two areas, he really was the master of his domain. But that’s where those talents ended. Bright ideas weren’t really his thing.

“Okay . . .” His face paled again as he dropped to one knee.

“Oh God!” My eyes peeled back to maximum capacity as I tried to make sense of what was happening. “Please tell me you aren’t about to propose?” My hands automatically slammed down onto his arms, my urgent tugging trying to get him to stand. My mind hoped like hell I was wrong, but unless he was trying to tie his shoe or go down on me, he had very little reason to be down there. Considering both his boots were well laced and I was still wearing panties, I’d say . . . FUCK. No. He could
not
be serious.

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?” Joey looked at me confused as he slowly rose to his feet. “I know I should have a ring, but I didn’t have time to shop.”

“You can’t be serious right now. You’re just going to ask me to marry you? What the hell kind of idea is that?”

Sure, he was freaking out. I was freaking out. But, holy mother of God. Marriage? Did he trip on the way over here? He must be concussed. That would be the only reason why he would think us getting hitched was a good plan.

“Kenzie, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.” His hand raked through his hair in frustration. “Aren’t we supposed to get married? I mean, I knocked you up. I’m not going to bail on you like an asshole.”

So
maybe
I’d had thoughts about dismembering him when I first found out. But that was just the shock. Well, at least I thought it was. But the urge to rip any appendage from his body had passed for now, at least for the short term. I mean, I could still inflict grievous bodily harm if he mentioned my boobs were bigger than they usually were, but for the most part, I’d prefer if the father of my unborn child remained whole.

But as far as I was concerned there was only
one
reason to slip a ring on my finger, and having a baby wasn’t it.

“Do you love me?” I asked as Joey nervously shifted on his feet, the bewilderment on his face sort of adorable. Ugh. These hormones really were going to be my undoing.

“Um. Is this a trick question?” He rubbed the back of his neck as his eyes met mine. “You know I confuse easily.”

“No, it’s not a trick question.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Like I said, Joey was sexy; smart . . . not so much. “Just answer me, do you love me?”

“Well, I like you a lot and the sex is ama—”

“Yes or no.” I stopped his not-so-subtle dance around the question.

“No, no I don’t love you.” The words leapt of his mouth; the oh-shit look on his face followed soon after. “I mean . . . not right now . . . maybe I could.”

“Good.” I smiled, deciding to put the poor guy out of his misery. “Because I don’t love you either. And being in love is the
only
reason to get hitched. So given neither of us are in love with each other, getting married would be a really stupid idea.”

“But you’re pregnant.” He leaned forward and whispered. Not sure why he’d lowered his voice; there were only two of us in the room. Both of us aware of my newfound status.

“Yes, I am,” I said slightly louder than I needed, not feeling the same urgency to keep my voice down.