Still Here: A Secret Baby Romance (15 page)

“
Y
ou don’t understand
. He just, he pushed me away. He stole the trust that we had,” I argued. I was trying to justify it. Trying to explain it. But I couldn’t. I was so angry, so hurt. Nothing else mattered to me except for the fact that he wasn’t there. He let me walk away like that, left me without anyone recourse.

He’d left me at that park, just let me walk away. Like I was nothing. Like a little fight was all that it was going to take to break us.

If that was the way he was I didn’t want anything to do with him. Forget him. I could raise this baby all on my own. He didn’t need to know about it.

“Rose, you’re angry. You push when you’re angry. I know it, you know it, all of Laurel knows it. You were like that in school and you’re like that now.” Jess reached out and tucked a small strand of hair behind my ear.

She knew me better than anyone else, but I wasn’t ready to admit it.

“Are you ready for this? It’s a big step,” she said as she looked up at the office sign from the parking lot.
Dr. Foster and Associates - Family Medicine.

It was finally here. My first official appointment. The one where I got to see the baby. Got to hear it’s heartbeat.

I swallowed hard, tears stinging my eyes, but I willed them away. I wasn’t going to cry over him. Not one tear. Not one tiny little bit of sorrow. He didn’t deserve it.

“I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be,” I said as I opened the car door. She got out too and looped her arm in mine.

“It’ll be okay. It will all be okay.”

She must’ve known that I was thinking about turning and running because she held my arm firm as we walked together towards that office.

My entire world was about to change.

“
T
here it is
,” the doctor said as she pointed to the sonogram machine, a grin on her face. “Normally a technician will do these, but for your first appointment I make it a point to do them personally. She grinned. “You can see the little bugger right there, heartbeat strong as ever.”

I smiled and looked over at Jess. She held my hand the entire time, through the whole appointment.

She was a true friend. I didn’t have many of those, any, really. Except for her.

“And it’s okay?” I asked, the tears flowing freely. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe there was a little baby growing inside of me. I’d been trying to hard not to get my hopes up, not to let it consume me, but the proof was there.

“At this stage of development I would say you are in perfect health, Rose.” She confirmed, as she took pictures of the ultrasound, made measurements and then finally removed the wand. “I’ll step out for a moment and let you put your pants back on, but from this end everything looks exactly the way it should.

Another wave of relief flew over me.

She stepped out and I slid my jeans on with the blanket over me.

“So,” Jess asked.

“So what?” I asked.

“When are you going to tell him?” she asked. “You said it would be after this appointment.”

“I-”

“He needs to know,” she said. It was so matter of fact that I almost bit my own tongue. “You can’t just keep this from him. Seriously. Hiding a secret baby? What are you going to do? Move out of town to raise it? Or stick a mustache on it and pretend it isn’t your child?” she chuckled and I thought about the imagery.

A little tiny baby with a sticker mustache could be adorable.

I laughed, but then I thought about it. She was right. He did need to know. But I was too angry to say a word to him. I couldn’t. Not yet. I was going through a litany of excuses in my mind, searching for anything that I could to get out of telling him. Anything I could to convince her that I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready to talk to him.

But nothing was going to work. I knew it and so did she.

I
looked
down at my phone and reread the text that I’d already looked over a dozen times.

I want to meet you. We need to talk. - Rose

We need to talk. Those words were never good. I didn’t know if we had a relationship or some semblance of one, but I knew those words were the death of anything we had.

She wanted to talk to me just so she could break my damn heart all over again. Well I wasn’t having it. Not tonight.

I’d drink myself into a damn stupor and pretend she didn’t exist. Pretend it wasn’t going to happen.

Old dogs, right? We never do learn new tricks. Fuck it. Fuck it all.

I gripped the handle of the pool hall and opened it wide as I walked in and headed straight to the bar. Yeah, I was going right into her best friend’s home turf and drinking in front of half the town. They’d all see me. They’d all know.

When I do self-sabotage I do it up right. I’m just like my dad in that regard. Hell, I might as well be like him in every single way. Couldn’t keep a woman, but I was good at business. Good at blowing my money, and I intended to do a lot of that tonight.

“What’ll you have?” Brandon asked as I leaned against the counter. I stood there for a second and looked at what he had top shelf and all.

It was shit. But I didn’t give a fuck. It wasn’t about the brand or the expensive of it. I just wanted to get wasted and forget about her.

Forget about how she tore me into pieces twice.

“Fuck man, get me your best rot-got whiskey.” I sat on the stool and looked around. I could hustle some guys at pool, but they all knew me, all new my style. I didn’t see any out of towners. None of these assholes would be a good target.

I looked at the jukebox. Maybe play some music, play some pool alone.

I didn’t even consider the women. I wasn’t ready to go down that route. Not yet. I’d wait until she officially dumped my ass, then I was going to go on a tear. Show her what she missed.

“Here you go, man.” He said as he put the glass on the bar.

“Leave the bottle,” I said.

“Rough night?” he asked.

I shrugged. I’d never been friends with Brandon. Jess, she was a good kid. Always been friendly, but I barely knew him. Still, I tried hard to be friendly with him.

Hell, might as well strike up a friendship with the guy.

“I hear you man, the woman is driving me crazy.Wedding plans and all that shit. I guess you’ll be going through that soon enough.”

“A wedding?” I said as I downed the drink and started pouring myself another. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know. I figured with the baby and everything you were going to ask her to marry you,” Brandon explained.

“Baby? What the fuck are you talking about? What baby?” I said. I could see him backing up but he wasn’t going to get away that easily.

“Shit. I thought you were here because she told you. You look like a man who just got told. Uh, shit. Fuck. This was one of those times I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“It was, but now that you’ve opened it you have to explain,” I growled. I wasn’t a mean son of a bitch, but I could be. I could be if I had to. And right now I was on the edge. It wasn’t my way, I was the playboy, the idiot savant, but when it came to Rose I could be a whole lot of things I wasn’t.

“Rose, she’s pregnant,” he squeaked out.

“You’re ol’ lady is going to kick your ass,” his father said from behind him as he cleaned out a glass.

He was right. He was going to get it handed to him, but that wasn’t my problem. Rose was my problem and it was something I had to address.

Fuck. I needed to get to her.

And I needed to get to her now.

I
dialed
her number and waited. Each ring was grating on my nerves. Like it was taunting me. Like it knew something I didn’t.

“Where are you? At your place?” It was the first thing out of my mouth.

“Yeah.”

“Stay there. I’m coming over.” I threw my clutch into reverse and floored it out of the parking lot then kicked it into gear.

I wasn’t going to take no for an answer, not when it came to Rose. She was having my baby and she didn’t even tell me. Hell, half the town already fucking knew if Brandon knew, that idiot obviously couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

I hit the gas and switched gears again and again until I was in fifth, my muscle car roaring and hollering down the road.

It wasn’t the only one that felt like screaming, but I couldn’t. I had to control myself. I wasn’t about to create a situation that would cause her stress.

Or the baby.

But I wasn’t going to just accept this shit either. I was pissed as hell and she was going to know about it.

I turned into her driveway and slammed the car into park. I threw up my e-brake and hopped out of the car. I wasn’t anywhere near drunk. One drink wouldn’t do a damn thing to me, but I felt keyed up.

I wanted to fix it all with her. I wanted to yell at her, apologize to her, and make love to her all at the same time.

All those emotions pushed and pulled at me tying me up in knots as I strode across the driveway and up to the door. I didn’t knock, didn’t ring any damn bell, I just pulled it open and found her standing there, mouth agape.

I grabbed her and pulled her into me hard. I slammed her body against mine and kissed her.

She was mine, god dammit, and I wasn’t going to give that up. Not for anything.

“What-“ she said after a moment, but I quieted her with another kiss.

“I don’t want to ‘talk,’ Rose. Not about what you want to talk about. I’m not going to be the one to walk away from this. Away from everything that we’re building together. I know it started out as nothing more than a stupid wager, but dammit, I want you Rose. I always have.” I said my piece and then I stepped away. “I’m an asshole, and I’ve done stupid fucking things in my life. I won’t deny it. But you aren’t one of them. Not by a long shot.”

She kissed me this time, her lips interrupting my desperate attempts at justifying why we should be together.

“This has nothing to do with any of that, Wyatt. It’s not that. I’m pregnant.”

“I know,” I said slowly, deliberately. “Brandon told me.”

“Jess-”

“Don’t blame her it is only natural for her to tell the man she’s going to marry. Only natural for her to not want to keep secrets from him.” I said. But she’d kept secrets from me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

It hurt like hell and the anger rose up in my heart. I wanted to be the one she ran to, the one she told her deepest secrets. Not Jess. Me.

“I wanted to, I really did. I just…”

“You couldn’t.” I knew she didn’t trust me. But I couldn’t understand why.

“It’s not like that,” she said as she looked up into my eyes. My emotions must’ve been written all over my face. “I just didn’t want to give you any reason to leave me. And I wasn’t sure. I wanted to make sure before I said anything.”

“Why in the hell would I think that I would leave you?” I asked.

“I saw you kiss her,” she said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Five years ago, when I left. I saw you kiss her. I know that we weren’t exclusive, but it killed me. I didn’t think I could ever trust you again. But I wanted to.”

“Kissed who?” I asked. It had been so damn long I couldn’t freaking remember. Strings of girls before and after Rose, and they all ran together. Fuck. Who was it? I suddenly remembered. “Oh, you mean Marci. She didn’t get kissed, she kissed me. I pushed her off me. I told her it wasn’t going to happen. You didn’t see that?” I asked.

She’d been after me for a long time. I’d been stupid enough to give her what she was looking for, and it was a mistake. She’d practically haunted me since trying to get me to sleep with her again. It wasn’t going to happen. It was a stupid mistake.

But Rose didn’t know any of this. She just knew that I was kissing another woman.

It all made sense now. “Why didn’t you ask me?”

“I was so angry. I was so hurt. I didn’t think. I just acted. I should’ve said something. Should’ve asked.”

“And that’s why you left? That’ why you didn’t want to come home?” I asked. All because of a stupid misunderstanding?

“I was eighteen years old and I was so sure you were just-“

“Everything everyone else said I was,” my mouth turned down. It was the story of my entire life. Everyone thought I was just my father reincarnate. They didn’t realize that I wasn’t him.

That I didn’t want to be him.

“That was a million years ago, Wyatt. A whole lifetime. But I found my way back,” she said as she looked up into my eyes.

“Did you ever think a wager would bring us back together like this?” I asked as I chuckled.

“I didn’t, but I’m glad it did. We aren’t the same people we were five years ago. We’re different. And maybe that’s just enough to make it right.”

I bent down and I kissed her soft and sweet. She was right. I was exactly where I needed to be. And exactly who I needed to be with.

“Wyatt-“ she said but I quieted her with another kiss. I didn’t need to hear any more. I knew everything I needed to.

“Be mine, Rose,” I said as I scooped her up into my arms. I would take her right there in her apartment. Remind her about all of the things that made me so hard to resist.

“Be yours?” she asked.

“I don’t want to play games anymore. I don’t want to fulfill our contract. I just want you. I want you all the time, and I want to know that you aren’t going to want anyone else.” Just the thought of another man with her made me angry. Desperately and completely enraged. No, I wouldn’t lose her to any of that.

I grabbed her hard and pulled her body to mine. “Dammit, Rose. I need you.”

I could feel it, all of it, coursing through my body. My cock twitched with want as I looked into her eyes. I wouldn’t stop until she was mine.