Still Here: A Secret Baby Romance (11 page)

I
sat
at my desk and tried to make the world stop spinning. Spinning and swaying. That was what it seemed to do as of late.

No wonder I was so nauseous. I was going to have to get my eyes checked. Might be time to change my contact prescription. It had to be what was making me dizzy.

"Rose?" Bill called from inside of his office. I stood up and popped my head in. It had been slow all morning.

"What do you need, Bill?" I asked.

"It's been kind of slow today, and I'm really craving coffee and donuts. Would you mind walking down to the bakery and picking up some? Here, you can get yourself something too," he handed me a ten dollar bill.

"Sure, is there anything else you would like?" I asked. The old me would've found it insulting. Hell, I would've been downright pissed. But that was back when I was a paralegal. When I thought my life was going somewhere.

When I thought, I had some prestige.

"No, I don't believe. Just a raspberry filled donut and a french vanilla brew. Black."

Laurel wasn't the type of place that had fancy coffee shops with exquisite pastries. No, there was one bakery, and they had a handful of donut selections and two flavors of coffee. French Vanilla and "regular." Whatever that meant.

I walked across the street towards the bakery and spotted Wyatt coming out of it, a paper bag and a cup of coffee in his hand.

It looks like Bill wasn't the only one that had the idea for donuts.

"Morning," I said as I approached him. Maybe I should've tried to avoid him, but I walked right up to him.

"Morning," he said, a lopsided grin on his face.

Neither of us was sure what to say so we just stood there staring at each other, an embarrassed blush on my cheeks and a grin on his face.

"Are you heading in?" he asked finally.

"What?" I said as I walked over.

"Are you heading for the shop?" he repeated.

"Oh, yeah. I need to get something for my boss,” I answered.

Wyatt opened the door, and that was when the smell hit me. Yeast and fried dough and sugar all at once.

Normally I'd breathe it in and let it wrap around me, but the nausea was overwhelming. I reeled from it and grabbed him, clinging to him as I fought the urge to throw up.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he pulled me away from the bakery and let the door close.

I nodded but waited to let go of him. "I'm sorry, I must be coming down with something. The smell of food is making me ill."

I must've looked as green as I felt because he nodded and walked me over to a small bench near the street.

He felt my forehead with the back of his hand then said, "you don't feel warm."

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just starting to come down with it," I answered.

"Maybe you should take off work and go home," he said.

"No, I can't do that. I'll be okay in a minute, I promise." I just needed a second. "I have to get him what he wants."

"What does your boss want?" he asked.

"French Vanilla and a raspberry filled donut," I answered.

"Well, let me get them for you at least." He walked into the bakery and let me sitting there while I got my wits about me.

What was happening to me? Dizzy. Nauseous? Was I coming down with the flu? I was tired too, so incredibly tired.

I could sleep for a year and still not get enough.

All of those symptoms, they were all things my father had gone through before he was diagnosed with cancer. Could that be it? I was too young for something like that, but with a parent who has cancer you are more likely to get it.

Sweat trickled down my brow.

Nerves shot through me as I realized how serious it was. I'd have to get an appointment with the family doctor. Maybe she could see me this afternoon. She'd understand.

And Bill would too, I was sure of it.

I'd just have to make the arrangements.

"Here you go," Wyatt said as he exited the bakery. One donut, one coffee, and a mint tea for you. Maybe that will help your nausea.

"Thank you," I said as I looked up at him. He was there for me when I needed him.

I wasn't used to that.

"Do you want me to walk you back?" he asked.

"It depends on. Will you count it as a date?" I asked I was only joking, but the dark look that fell over his eyes stopped me in my tracks.

"Is that what you want? Anytime to interact to be clocked and counted?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just kidding."

Our arrangement had changed the moment I'd invited him into my apartment. It had morphed into something entirely different, and I didn't know how to define it now.

Enemies, that's what we were, at least on a superficial level, but now, now it was something more.

I wasn't going to profess my love to him, but I couldn't deny that I was feeling something. That something was there.

That dark cloud that threatened passed over us and the look in his eyes changed. "I'll tell you what. I'll count it as a date if you give me a goodbye kiss."

We walked up to my boss’, and I wrapped my arms around him. "Just one kiss?" I asked.

"Unless you want more than one." He waggled his eyebrows and I fought back a giggle. I was acting too silly.

This wasn’t me.

I did want more than one kiss, but I didn't want the whole town to see either. I was sure Jess had told most of them about the arrangement by now.

I was surprised no one else had approached me to declare if they were team Wyatt or not.

"Just one," I said as I reached up on my tippy toes and planted a small his on his lips.

Or at least, it was supposed to be a little kiss. We lingered there like that for longer than I intended. When I finally pulled away, I looked around, trying to make sure no one saw us.

If anyone was watching, they were well hidden.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" he asked. "When can I see you again?"

"I'm not sure. I think I might go and check in with the doctor tonight. Make sure it's just a bug."

"Okay, but I have something planned. Friday night."

I nodded. Friday night.

I could keep my hands off him until then, couldn't I?

Jess was never going to let me hear the end of it.

"
W
ell
, the good news is that I am ninety-nine percent certain you don't have cancer, Rose." My doctor said as she smiled at me. "You are young and healthy as a horse. You have a great white cell blood count. You aren't showing any definite signs of cancer."

A small wave of relief flooded through me. I’d been so worried about it that I hadn’t considered what else could be going on with me.

What was happening to my body?

"So what's wrong with me?" I asked, "the flu?" It was the only other logical explanation.

Doctor Foster hesitated. Shit, that feeling of dread came back in a wave.

"Not the flu, either. Rose, you're pregnant," she said.

Pregnant?! How could that be, no. It was wrong. It was just plain wrong. This could not be happening to me.

I wasn’t ready for a baby.

"What? That's impossible. I'm on the shot." I shook my head. There was no way in the world I was pregnant. I always had the shot on time. I was always careful.

Except I wasn't careful. Not with Wyatt. Oh god. Could it be true?

"When was the last time you had to shot? You may have lapsed on your renewal," she explained. "They are ineffective if you go too long without one. Have you noticed your periods getting longer, PMS symptoms getting stronger?" she asked.

I thought for a long moment. The last time I'd gotten one was in Denver. I'd forgotten all about scheduling an appointment for a new shot once I moved. I'd probably fallen behind by a few months.

All of the dates were spotty and ran together. I’d been so stress filled that I’d forgotten to get my shot renewed.

it was possible. I was having a baby.

It didn't take away any of the shock from the situation. Pregnant? How in the hell was I going to be able to handle it?

"I take it this baby wasn't planned?" Dr. Foster asked. She had been my doctor since I was a small child and before that her father was my doctor. Family practice.

I shook my head, "please don't tell my mom," I said.

"I would never do that. Doctor patient confidentiality, my dear." She'd always been so kind to me, and even now she wasn't looking at me with judgment.

"What happens now?" I asked. What did I do next?

"Well, you aren't far enough along yet for the first prenatal visit. I'd estimate you at five weeks.”

I nodded.

“Now, if you don’t want to keep it, we’ll set up an appointment for that as well,” she said. She was being delicate. But I didn’t need to think about it.

“A first appointment sounds good,” I said. I knew I had options, but I wanted this baby. In my gut I was sure of it. No matter how hard it was going to be.

We like to do them at eight weeks. I'll set one up for you, though."

I nodded so much I felt like a damn bobble head, my body numbed, all I could do was nod as she continued, giving me a sample box of prenatal vitamins, discussing the importance of taking them. She also handed me a small pamphlet about the first trimester.

But I couldn't take any of it in. I Just nodded and kept quiet the whole time. I felt like I'd been removed from my body. Like this couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real.

"Are you going to tell the father?' she asked.

"What?" I said, it brought me out of my stupor.

"The father? Are you going to tell him? If not, I'd recommend telling someone. It's nice to have someone there with you for the ultrasounds and the checkups. Going it alone is hard.” She said. Never once did I feel judged. Everyone woman should have a doctor like mine.

I hadn't even thought about the father. How could I tell him? What would I say to him?

Wyatt wanted ten dates in exchange for fifty-thousand dollars, but I didn't think he wanted a baby as a bonus gift.

What was I going to do?

“
Y
ou’re still here
?” I asked as I walked into my office, two coffees in hand.

One for me and one for the man sitting in my chair. At my desk. My father had holed up here in Laurel, and I had a feeling he wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

It made me anxious in all the wrong ways. I still had a few things to coordinate for tomorrow night. Still had some finishing touches to put on. And a full load of paperwork to go through. I didn’t need him poking his nose in and meddling.

“Yeah, I don’t know that I’m going anywhere anytime soon,” he answered.

“I thought you had to meet someone in the Caribbean?” I asked. I’d long since forgotten her name.

“It can wait. Especially with this place on such shaky ground,” he said. “I mean, you aren’t using any of my business contacts, you’ve been going through all the ‘proper’ channels, and now I find out that you aren’t evicting farmer’s who can’t pay their rent?” he asked.

“I speak to them on a case by case basis, Dad. I’m not about to evict Michael Madden. He's been working hard for us but has hospital bills that are sucking up all of his income.” I knew the case he was referring to, and I wasn’t about to back down from it. I’d been to the house several times to discuss a payment plan with him and the hospital. I’d even negotiated for him. His wife had breast cancer and his insurance only covered so much.

I wasn’t about to let a man like him go out in the cold. He’d already sold us his house trying to get free of medical debts and then she relapsed.

I wasn’t about to take away the home he needed for his children.

“When did you stop caring about the town you grew up in or were you always this way?” I asked my father. It was like he didn’t even see the people who lived here. It was like they were nothing but numbers to him.

He’d spent too many years in Denver and then Washington to feel connected to this place the way I was. I lived here; I went to school here. Hell, I’d been a freshman on the high school football team when Michael was the star running back. He was a senior, and a great player. He could’ve been an asshole to me like a lot of the other guys were. The ones that said I only made varsity because of my father.

But he wasn’t. He told me I had real talent. He didn’t put me down when I was young and vulnerable. And now that he was vulnerable I wasn’t going to take advantage of that.

“You’re too soft to run this damn business. I warned your mother-”

“You leave my mom the hell out of this,” I growled. I’d finally had enough. He wasn’t going to insult her memory in front of me. I’d never been one to raise my voice at my father, but I wouldn’t tolerate that. I would fight him if I had to. She was not a topic for discussion.

My mother put up with his ass for too damn long as it was.

“You are too soft. You bow to every damn sob story, and you bend anytime someone has an excuse. That’s not the way you run a business," he snarled. He was angry. Well so was I.

But I wasn't going to back down.

“Look at the numbers, dad. I’ve got a higher yield on grains than any time in the last decade. Whatever I have sacrificed in the margins my workers have been made up for me and then some.” I’d been doing a hell of a good job out here, and I knew it.

“But you could be doing so much better,” he said.

“No. I couldn’t. If I didn’t show the people who work for me, who farm the land for me, that we were partners, that I cared about their needs,” I explained. “They perform better than they ever have because it isn’t a partnership borne out of fear. They trust me. I trust them.” It seemed so simple, so reasonable when I said it, but my father didn’t understand. He didn’t get it.

His mouth just turned down into a frown. “They are taking advantage of you, can’t you see that?” he said. I could almost see him break. He was genuinely worried.

I just shook my head. “Take your coffee and get out of my office. I have work to do.”

He was never going to understand. It wasn’t in his nature. The man was a born tycoon.

He just stood and shook his head. “My only son. I thought you would have learned by now. Thought I could pass on the business to you.”

“The only son you know of, father. I’m sure there has to be offspring floating around out there somewhere. Maybe one of them is just as mean and nasty as you.” I wasn’t going to let him rattle me. Not when I had so damn much to do.

I grabbed my phone and dialed it, my nerves on edge. I needed to talk to the one person who could calm them. The one person I was looking forward to seeing.

“County Permits Office, how may I help you?” Her voice was sweeter than a strawberry sundae in July.

“Hey darlin’, you wanna play hooky today?” I asked. “I know a quiet stream where we could catch our dinner and just sit and talk.”

“Wyatt?” she asked. Her voice was small, far away. I needed her closer.

If I could just wrap my arms around her. If I could pull her close and just relax everything would be all right.

“Do you have another suitor?” I asked. I was only kidding, but a small stab of concern rose up in my throat.

“I can’t,” she said, “I have so much work to do. I can’t just take off.”

“I bet you can. I bet you are just as tired of being around suits all day as I am,” I reasoned. I wasn’t tired of everyone, just one giant ass in a suit. “Come on. I’ll make a date of it. Buy you some lunch and everything.”

“I’ll have to see,” she said slowly, but I knew she’d be able to get out of it. Hell, if she wasn’t I’d call ol’ Bill up and ask him for the favor myself.

“I’m already on my way,” I said as I stood up from my desk, “I’m coming for you, baby.”

I was already out the door.