Authors: Laurene Kelly
Tags: #Young Adult Fiction, Domestic Violence, Recovery
âThe first time we're alone, which could be next week, I'll have a go.'
âI hope your mum says yes.'
âHope costs nothing.'
âCan I meet you at the station next week?'
âI'll call you before then.'
âGreat. I can't wait. Goodnight, Ruby.'
I felt so much better. Ruby was my oldest friend, and I could say anything to her about Dad.
âWas that Ruby?' Aunt Jean called out.
I hurried in to the lounge room.
âRuby's coming to live in Sydney!'
Aunt Jean looked surprised. Uncle Wayne looked at Toby.
âAloma's niece,' Aunt Jean said.
Uncle Wayne looked at me. âYou know my kids?'
âNo. I might have met them but I don't remember.'
âI'm surprised, I wouldn't have thought Ruby's mum would want any of her kids living in Sydney. Where's she going to live?' Uncle Wayne directed this at Aunt Jean.
âHere,' I said.
Aunt Jean didn't appear too surprised.
âDon't get carried away, we'll see.'
âShe can have my room,' Toby said enthusiastically.
âHer mum wants her to live over at Redfern with her Auntie Ruth and all her kids.'
âNot just her kids,' Wayne said. âI know Ruth. She'd be looking after all the neighbourhood kids as well.'
âAunt Jean, please. Ruby won't be able to study and stuff over there. Her mum wants her to do well, that's why she's coming down here. Please.'
âWe'll see.'
I knew Aunt Jean's answer would be yes. I just knew it. I hoped Ruby's mum would agree. I couldn't wait till Thursday. I wished I knew now. I wanted it so much. I hoped I could find a star in the sky tonight to wish upon.
Uncle Wayne rose to leave. He shook Aunt Jean's hand.
âWe'll head back early tomorrow. I'll pick Toby up about eight.'
âI'll have already left for work, so I'll say my farewell to you now, Wayne. It's been good to catch up with you. Don't become a stranger. Visit again soon.'
âNo problem, Jean. Thanks for your hospitality. I'm glad you don't judge me by my brother and that you've been so welcoming. Don't worry about Toby. I'll take very good care of him.'
âI know you will.'
I walked Uncle Wayne to the front door.
âI'll see you in the morning.'
Uncle Wayne leant and kissed me on the forehead.
âI'm glad you aren't angry with me anymore, Julie.'
âI'm so glad to see Toby happier. It's been pretty hard.'
âI know. Don't worry. I'll make him do his school work.'
âIt would be good if he got to know his cousins better.'
Uncle Wayne laughed. âI'll see what I can do. Goodnight Julie.'
I closed the door and leant against it. How things change, I thought. I was quite prepared to not let Uncle Wayne in the flat, and now I felt like I was missing his quiet strength.
âI'm off to bed.' Aunt Jean stood up. âGoodnight, Toby. Goodnight, Julie.'
Aunt Jean pushed the hair back from my eyes.
âDon't worry. I'll see what I can do about the appeal. I'll take you for the CAT scan in the morning.'
âDo you think I'm well enough to go surfing? I reckon I am.' I looked hopefully at Aunt Jean.
âI think you better wait till after the results of the scan, just to be safe.'
âI feel so much better.'
âI know, but let's just make sure that everything is fine. It would be horrible if you had something that could put you at risk, particularly while you were surfing. Be patient for a little bit longer.'
âI really want to. I feel fine.'
âI'm glad you do, but wait till after tomorrow.' Aunt Jean kissed the top of my head. âGoodnight Julie. I'll see you in the morning for breakfast and our good-byes, Toby.'
âGoodnight, Aunt Jean,' I said, quietly and sat down on the couch.
âI wish I didn't have to have this stupid CAT scan.'
âAre you scared?'
âNo. I don't feel there's anything wrong. It was just all the stress coming out I reckon.'
âProbably. When I first went back to the bush, I got pretty sick for the first week. I reckon it was all the court stuff getting out of my body.'
âWow, Toby, that's pretty radical.'
âI felt like I was releasing toxic waste.'
âMaybe I just was a little slower to react to it all or something.'
âI had clean air and quiet all around me, so maybe it made all the poisons leave me quicker. That's what Uncle Wayne said that time he cried, that I'd been poisoned. Strange, eh?'
âI wonder if I rang up the CAT-scan people and told them I knew it was a one-off, if they'd say don't bother coming in. It'll save them heaps of money and everyone knows how poor public hospitals are.'
âI doubt it. Jules, there's something I overheard accidentally. Has Aunt Jean got cancer?'
âProbably not. Aunt Jean had these tests, but she's pretty confident there's nothing wrong.'
âI hope she's all right.'
âMe too. I better go to bed, I'm totally exhausted.'
âOne last thing.' Toby put his hand up. âIt's so cool Ruby coming down here to live.'
âIt'd be a dream come true for her to live here.'
I switched off the lamp next to me.
âIt's a real bummer that I can't go surfing tomorrow morning.'
âWhat about a swim? I'm going to have one before we drive off into that western furnace.'
âI doubt it. I think I just have to wait till after the tests.'
âI'll wake you if you want.'
âThanks. Goodnight Toby.'
We didn't embrace. Toby was in the do-not-touch zone again.
âSee you, Jules.'
I flopped on my bed. Moonlight streaked my duvet. I glanced out the window at shifting clouds. A creaking door was shutting. I had the key to lock it shut. Sitting up, I slowly undressed. I wanted to be surfing by the end of the week. I didn't care anymore about anything else.
It's been weeks since my CAT scan. My brain was a perfectly normal sixteen-year-old brain, whatever that meant. The X-ray meant nothing to me. I didn't really connect it as the place that held all my thoughts and memories.
Toby's written a couple of letters, usually with a note from Uncle Wayne. They both want me to visit when the house is finished. Maybe in the next holidays with Ruby holding my hand, I'd have enough courage. Ruby's mum and others performed a cleansing ceremony of the land. Toby said the farm felt different, the ghosts weren't trapped anymore.
Uncle Wayne found out Dad has liver cancer. Aunt Jean visited him and told him what she thought of him. I know it didn't satisfy her, but as she said, she felt like she'd done something for her sister. Toby and I are still undecided if we'll visit him or not. I feel it could be another disappointment. Dad's bad health halted the appeal. It's like the cloud and silver lining stuff. You would think liver cancer, boo hoo. No appeal, hip hip hooray.
One of the best things that happened is Ruby living here. Ruby's pessimism was misplaced. Her mum was delighted with the arrangement. Ruby said her mum turned her white when she suggested that instead of Ruby living at Auntie Ruth's, there'd be room at my aunt's place for Ruby to unpack a suitcase, now that Toby was living with his uncle. We suspect Aunt Jean and Ruby's mum had discussed it before we'd even thought of it!
Phoebe's cousin Trudy has moved in with Phoebe while her parents are in Vietnam for a year. I really like Trudy and think it had nothing to do with her being Vietnamese that brought on my spin-out. Jasmine's mum called a truce, so Jasmine went home. Kate returned north at the end of the holidays. Ruby and I are visiting her next long weekend. I've done a few driving lessons and am saving conscientiously for my car.
It was shaping up to be my best year ever. One of the best things that happened is Aunt Jean and Uncle Wayne decided to buy me a responsible present of two Maltese Terrier pups. I called one Bobbie, and the other, Buffy. They're adorable and make me laugh daily with their games and pleasure in each other for company. There was a lot of work like walks, feeding and picking up ⦠it's too disgusting to say. There are two animals so they have each other's company
when I'm at school or whatever. Uncle Wayne said no animal ought to live in loneliness. They all need a companion. To this very day, I don't know how much convincing Aunt Jean needed, but I'm so awesomely happy about the future that my smile has almost become permanent.