Stink and the Midnight Zombie Walk (6 page)

“The next night,” Judy continued, “the zombie came back and she said, ‘Do you know what I do with my red, red lips and my looong green fingernails?’

“Again Webman and Stinkray said ‘NO!’ and they slammed the window shut.

“On the third night, the zombie asked the same thing: ‘Do you know what I do with my red, red lips and my looong green fingernails?’ But before Webman and Stinkray could answer, she said, ‘I’ll SHOW you what I do with my red, red lips and my looong green fingernails.’ Webman and Stinkray closed their eyes and held their breath. Finally, the zombie held her finger to her lips and went: ‘Blubblubblubblubblubblubblub.’”

“That was funny,” said Stink.

“And scary,” said Webster.

Judy turned off the flashlight. “’Night, you guys. Sweet dreams.” She clomped downstairs.

Wind whistled at the window. The moon made spooky shadows on the wall.

“Did you hear a scratching at the window?” asked Webster.

“Maybe it’s just a tree branch,” said Stink.

“Are you scared?” asked Webster. He hugged Hoodoo and Voodoo.

“A little,” said Stink. He pulled Gilgamesh and Fred in closer.

“I can’t sleep,” said Webster.

“I have an idea. Let’s scare Judy like she scared us!”

“How?” asked Webster.

“It’s a no-brainer,” said Stink. “Charlie Zombie! He’s in her closet, remember? So we sneak into her room and get Charlie, and then we hide somewhere in her room. When she comes up to bed, we make Charlie Zombie talk and freak her out.”

“I like it,” said Webster.

Stink and Webster tiptoed across the hall and into Judy’s room. Stink fished Charlie Zombie out from the bottom of Judy’s hamper in her closet. Charlie looked as creepy as ever.

Webster hid behind Judy’s beanbag chair. Stink and Charlie hid under the bottom bunk.

“’Night, Mom,” they heard Judy say out in the hall. She came into her room and climbed into her bottom bunk. She pulled up the covers and turned to face the wall.

They waited for five long minutes. Slowly, Stink raised the dummy out from under the bed. Slowly, slowly, Charlie rose up in the blue moonlight. His face glowed green in the dark like a ghost. He stared at Judy with one eye open and waited.

Judy stirred. She rolled over.

Clack-clack-clack!
went the dummy’s mouth. Judy opened one eye.

“Hun-gry,” Charlie Zombie croaked. “Want burger. Ju-dy bur-ger!”

“Aagh!” Judy screamed, and she pulled the covers over her head. “AAGH!” she screamed again.

“Scared you!” yelled Stink. Stink and Webster popped out from their hiding places, laughing their pj pants off.

“You guys!” said Judy, poking her head out from under the covers. “I almost had a zombie heart attack!”

“Heart. Yum,” said Charlie.

Webster cracked up.

“We got you so good,” said Stink.

“You’d be scared too if some creep-azoid zombie dummy woke you up in the middle of the night,” said Judy. “Get that thing out of here.” Judy pulled her covers back up.

Stink and Webster headed back to Stink’s room.

“Scritch-scratch!” she called after them. “I wouldn’t sleep near the window if I were you.”

Stink set Charlie Zombie back on his desk chair. He and Webster slid back into their sleeping bags and closed their eyes.

“Webster? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Stink asked.

“He’s staring at us,” said Webster. “With one evil eye.”

“I know. His other eye won’t stay open. He’s giving me the creeps.”

“Goose bumps,” said Webster, rubbing his arms.

“Goose eggs,” said Stink.

“Zombie zits,” said Webster.

“We’re going to have zombie nightmares!” said Stink. He got up and switched on his night-light.

“Put a pillow over him or something,” said Webster.

“I’ll get him out of here.” Stink took Charlie all the way downstairs, where he stuck him way in the back of the hall closet, behind all the coats.

At last, Stink and Webster slipped off to sleep. Not a creature was stirring, not even a zombie.

*  *  *

The next morning, Stink woke up. Webster woke up.

Stink yawned. Webster yawned.

Stink screamed, “AAAGH!”

Webster screamed, “Zombie!”

Charlie the One-Eyed Zombie was leaning up against the pillows on Stink’s bed, staring at them and grinning his evil grin. Stink and Webster huddled together.

“He’s back!” said Webster. “When did you —?”

“I didn’t,” said Stink. “Did you?”

“Not me.”

“But . . . how did —? I hid him in the way-back of the downstairs closet!”

“AAGH!” Stink and Webster ran screaming out of the room.

Stink and Webster ran screaming down the stairs.

Dad poked his head out of the kitchen. “What’s all the racket?”

“Nothing,” said Stink. “We just”— he sniffed the air —“smelled pancakes.”

“Pancakes. Good,” said Webster.

“Me want,” said Stink. Dad went back to the kitchen.

“Did you know that zombies have a hyper-good sense of smell?” Stink said to Webster.

“Then we’d better hurry up, before Charlie Zombie beats us to them.”

C
ountdown! One, two, three, four, five more hours until the Midnight Zombie Walk!

Stink read seventeen minutes of the
Z
encyclopedia. He read thirteen minutes of zombie books. He read eleven minutes of comic books. Forty-one minutes of reading!

He played with Astro for twelve minutes. He practiced karate for thirty-three minutes. He bugged Judy for twenty-six minutes while she worked on her Doctor Zombie costume.

At last it was time!

Stink put on his zombie ventriloquist costume. He painted his face green. He drew red blood coming out of his mouth and ears with lipstick. He put on his top hat. “C’mon, Charlie. Time to go.”

When the Moodys got to the Blue Frog Bookstore, zombie princesses and cowboys, pirates and superheroes crowded the sidewalk. Stink saw his teacher, Mrs. D., and tons of kids from Virginia Dare School.

“Is that the line?” Judy asked. “It goes all the way to Screamin’ Mimis!”