Stink and the Midnight Zombie Walk (5 page)

Riley Rottenberger went to get more books from the library. When she came back, she whispered to Heather Strong. Heather whispered to Webster. Webster whispered to Sophie. And Sophie whispered to Stink.

“A zombie ate the lunch lady?” Stink blurted out loud.

The room fell dead silent.

“Shh!” said Sophie. “You’ll scare the little kids.”

“A fourth-grader told Riley when she was in the library,” said Webster. “Fourth-graders don’t lie.”

Class 2D was buzzing with the rumor:

“Zombies have taken over the cafeteria.”

“Zombie Island!”

“All the food is gross and putrid.”

“Great,” said Stink. “Of all the days my mom makes me get hot lunch.”

“Mine too,” said Webster.

“Mine three,” said Sophie. “She made a big deal about it.”

“Same here,” said Stink. “Now we’re gonna have to eat
brains
.”

Mrs. D. held up two fingers. “Boys and girls, I’m proud of all the great reading here today. Thanks to your help, we’ve just added over four thousand more minutes to our reading challenge!”

“YAY!”

“Lunchtime, second-graders,” said Mrs. D.

Nobody moved. Nobody stood to line up.

At last, one brave soul stood up: Riley Rottenberger. “You guys! Do you
really
think there’s a
zombie
in the
cafeteria
? Right here at Virginia Dare School?”

“No,” Stink said out loud. But inside there was a tiny little
yes
.

Stink and the rest of the second-graders walked down the hall. Stink could not help imagining a giant alien zombie taking a bite out of Mrs. Swanson, the lunch lady.

When he got to the cafeteria, everything
seemed
to be normal. Except for the banner that read
VOMITERIA
in pukey green letters.

Then he stepped inside.

Gadzooks!
The windows were swamp-green. The tables were puke-green. And gross green stuff hung from the ceiling. “The cafeteria got slimed!” said Stink.

“And it smells like a swamp,” said Webster.

The Vomiteria buzzed with excitement. Everybody was talking at once.

Stink grabbed a tray. He started through the lunch line. He read the board that said:

“Eeuw. Everything looks like insides,” said Webster.

“That s-s-soup is s-s-staring at me,” said Sophie.

“I think I feel the pukes coming on,” said Stink.

“Welcome to the vomiteria,” said a voice. A
zombie
voice.

“Aah!” Stink, Sophie, and Webster jumped. They stared wide-eyed at the Zombie Lunch Lady behind the counter.

Her face looked three-years dead. She was wearing an apron that read
GOT BRAINS?
It was covered in bloody handprints. Plus it had human ears, a nose, and a hand stuck to it. Not to mention that she had a meat cleaver coming out of her head!

“Scrambled brains with a side of guts, anyone?” asked the Zombie Lunch Lady. She held up a slotted spoon. It was drip-drip-dripping with . . . blood?

“Vomitocious!” Stink pulled his tray back. “Is there anything that doesn’t smell like a corpse flower?”

“Excuse me, um, Mrs. Zombie?” Sophie asked. “Do you have any milk?”

“Zorry. No milk. We do have eyeball juice. Fresh-squeezed.”

That voice.
“Mo-omm?” Stink asked.

“Mrs. Moody?” said Webster and Sophie.

Mom grinned. “Hi, kids. What do you zink?” She twirled in a circle, showing off her zombie costume.

“
You’re
the zombie that ate the lunch lady?” Stink asked.

“Truth? I didn’t eat anybody. But I did tell some fourth-graders that a zombie ate the real lunch lady and took over the cafeteria. All foods today are on the zombie food pyramid.”

“You’re like the coolest mom ever,” said Sophie.

“So this is why you made me get hot lunch today?” asked Stink.

Mom couldn’t help smiling. “It was my turn to serve hot lunch, so a couple of other parents and I thought it might be fun to dress up for Read to a Zombie Day. Moms and dads will do just about anything to encourage reading. How’d it go this morning, by the way?”

“We read over four thousand minutes!” said Stink.

“Great job!” said Mom. “You kids have really been working hard on your reading.”

“Thanks,” said Sophie.

“Are those real insides?” Webster asked.

“Taste and see,” said Mom. “What’ll it be? Spaghetti? I mean, brains? Or Sloppy Toes?” She whispered to Sophie, “Sloppy Joes?”

All three kids held out their trays.

“Scrambled brains,” said Webster.

“Sloppy toes,” said Sophie.

“Eyeball soup, please,” said Stink.

O
n Friday night, Midnight Zombie Walk Eve, Stink and Webster had a sleepover. A zombie sleepover!

They put on their zombie pajamas (striped pj’s with ketchup stains). They played Zombie Attack with Fred and Voodoo. They watched
Night of the Living Bedspread
and ate
finger
foods dipped in blood (mini hot dogs dipped in ketchup). They told zombie jokes.

“Why did the zombie cross the road?” asked Webster.

“To eat the people on the other side.”

“How did the zombie get an a on his test?” Stink asked.

“It was a no-brainer!”

Stink and Webster crawled into sleeping bags and reread Nightmare on Zombie Street books by flashlight.

Judy poked her head into the room. “Hey. Tofu-for-Brains,” she said to Stink. “Mom and Dad said lights-out. Time for bed.”

“But we’re not tired,” said Stink. “Tell us a story.”

“A zombie story,” said Webster.

“A scary zombie story,” said Stink.

“But not too scary,” said Webster.

“‘Nightmare on Croaker Street,’” said Stink.

“
One
story.” Judy agreed. “If you promise to leave me alone and get some z’s.”

“Z’s for zombies,” said Stink.

Judy made her voice all spooky. “One night, two boys were having a sleepover. A zombie sleepover.”

“Did they live on Croaker Street?” Stink asked.

“Can their names be Webman and Stinkray?” Webster asked.

“Shh!” said Judy. “One night, Webman and Stinkray were having a sleepover.”

“Nice,” said Stink.

“You guys can’t keep interrupting me, or the story won’t work.”

Webster shut his mouth. Stink zipped his lips.

Judy went on. “All of a sudden, there came a
scritch-scratch-scritch
on the window.”

“Was it a zombie?” asked Webster.

“Yes. It was a zombie. She had looong black hair and a pale, pale face and red, red lips and looong green fingernails. Her voice was like dead bones rattling. ‘Do you know what I do with my red, red lips and my looong green fingernails?’ she said.”

Judy flicked the flashlight on and off. “‘NO!’ said Webman and Stinkray, and they slammed the window shut.”

Stink and Webster sat up in their sleeping bags. They inched closer to Judy.