Stolen Breaths (2 page)

Get a grip, Lil!
I practically willed myself to step forward to say something, anything.

“Hello, (clearing my throat), it’s nice to meet you.” I flashed a weak smile and quickly looked away.

His smile transformed into a playful grin, perhaps amused by my reaction. “Hello, Lily. It’s nice to meet you too. You must have made a huge impression on my grandmother. She doesn’t normally give people she doesn’t know rides anywhere.”

He glanced over to his grandmother and gave her a quizzical look. She raised her eyebrow and shot him a look of her own. Obviously they had these non-verbal conversations mastered. I was starting to feel uncomfortable. There seemed to be an awkward silence between them, and I was thinking maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I started to ponder if I should go back inside and rent a car, but then Cooper moved towards me, grabbed my bags, and put them in the trunk.

After stowing our bags he looked at his grandmother and then shot a look over to me, “Ladies, shall we go?”

Cooper motioned for me to come to his side of the car, and after he moved the seat up, I climbed into the back seat.

“Do you have enough room back there?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

Ms. Sophie got in the front passenger seat and closed the door, and then Cooper pushed his seat back and climbed in, readjusting his rearview mirror. I looked up and saw his eyes and quickly looked back down.

Crap!
Why was I feeling so self-conscious around this man? Jeez. I could have sworn I heard him chuckling.
Great, he’s laughing at me. That’s just icing on the cake.

On the way home I tried not making eye contact with Cooper’s reflection anymore. I started thinking about my daddy again and how empty the house was going to feel when I got there, and a lump in my throat started to form. I started to feel pressure on my chest again and before I could do anything about it tears pricked my eyes. I felt a single tear roll down my cheek. Trying not to turn into a bawl bag in front of people again, I quickly wiped my tear away.

“Lily, are you going to be okay by yourself tonight?” Ms. Sophie asked, seemingly genuinely concerned for me.

“Yes ma’am. I’ll be fine. Really.” I gave her a reassuring smile and she seemed to accept my answer.

“You have my number, so you call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you, but it won’t be necessary. I can do this.”

She looked at me in the warmest way possible. “I have no doubt in your ability to cope, but there is no point in doing something hard alone if you don’t have to.”

Cooper was quiet after he got in the car but I felt his eyes on me the whole time. The last thing I wanted to do was look up to verify my sixth sense, so I kept my head down unless I was speaking to Ms. Sophie. Other than Cooper asking me directions to my house, we really didn’t say anything to each other.

We pulled up into my old driveway and Cooper put the car in park and got out. He pushed the seat forward and extended his hand out to help me. The moment we touched I felt something. Call it an electrical current, a bolt, a surge of heat, a rush of charged particles— call it whatever you want, because it was all of those things— but it was something else too, something
more
. I tried to play it off and hoped he didn’t notice my odd reaction, but my immediate response was to pull away. I know that must have seemed odd, so I took his hand again and tried not to act like some stupid teenage girl. I prayed that I could just get inside the house without falling on my face. I was not having the best day. In fact, this entire week had been one giant nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.

I climbed out of the car and he stared at me with a puzzled look. I sighed internally and walked towards the trunk so I could get my bags and they could be on their way. I’d inconvenienced them enough. He slowly followed me, popped the trunk, and carried my bags to the door, waiting for me to find the key my daddy always hid on the porch so I could let myself in.

Ms. Sophie called out to me from the car. “Remember, Lily, call me when you get settled.”

I gave her a nod and waved goodbye. I opened the front door and Cooper set my bags down inside the entryway.

“Thank you for the ride home and for your help, I… I appreciate it. You and your grandmother are very kind.” I forced myself to look him in the eye.

“You’re welcome, Lily. It was a pleasure.” His face was warm and his voice compassionate. He held out his hand again for me to shake and I panicked. Not wanting to seem rude I extended my hand out and shook his. Just like before, I felt it. That foreign feeling invaded my senses and was completely outside my realm of understanding, and it terrified me. He had a strange look on his face and I just wanted to disappear. I pulled away again and shoved my hands in my front pockets.

“Well, I’d best be going.” The look on his face was unreadable and I tried to imagine what he might have been thinking. He shoved his hands in his front pockets as well and walked back to his car, glancing back towards me before getting in. He paused for a few seconds, then climbed back into his car and they drove away.

Standing alone in my childhood home knowing that I’d never see my father walk through those doors again saddened me. It all seemed like some cruel joke to me. I felt like my daddy had been ripped from my life and for no good reason. I sat down on the couch, grabbed a pillow and began to sob. Memories of him flooded my thoughts. Looking down the hallway, I remembered the piggy back rides to my room every night until I was too big to carry, and the races we would have from the end of the hallway to the kitchen on Saturday mornings. The loser had to make breakfast. A smile broke free briefly when I remembered the time he was running towards the kitchen and how he went sailing across the kitchen floor as soon as his foot hit the linoleum. Let’s just say he never made the mistake of wearing socks again during one of our races. When he finally came to a complete stop, it was because the wall put up a fight. When I realized he was okay, I laughed so hard I thought I might pee my pants.

God, I’m going to miss that man.

I heard my cell phone ringing, and it rattled me from my memories. Where was it coming from?
Oh god, where’s my purse?
I looked over towards my bags and on top of one of them I saw it. I hurried towards it, reached inside and pulled out my phone. It was Maggie, my roommate from Colorado.

“Hey, chick. How you doing?”

Maggie always had my back. She was someone I could always talk to and I was really missing her right now. We met in college and she had graduated one year before me. When she moved out to Colorado and got settled she begged me to come out as soon as I graduated. At the time, I had no reason not to go, and no reason to stay here.

“Hey, lady. I’ve been okay and I’ve not been okay.”

Right now, I feel like I have the entire world sitting on my chest.
I could feel the sting of tears as I battled with myself to keep it together.

“I’ll be there tomorrow. I’ve taken a couple of days off work, so we’ll talk when I get there. Okay? I just wanted to call and make sure you made it there.”

“Thanks, Mags. I haven’t been here long. I’m about to go back out and meet with the priest and settle up on the arrangements. I’ll see you tomorrow. What time does your plane land?”

“Around eleven a.m.”

“Okay, I’ll pick you up. My daddy’s car, the one he hardly ever drove, is parked in the driveway, so I’ll be able to meet you.” It was a white Honda Civic. He used to drive it everywhere, but he had recently bought a new car and that was the car that he had his accident in. It had been torn completely in half. According to the police report, the car that hit him was going over a hundred miles per hour. Both drivers were killed instantly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Take care, Lil.”

“Thank you, Mags, for coming. It means a lot to me.”

“Of course. Love you, chick.”

“Love you too.”

It was around 4:30 in the afternoon and I needed to meet with Father Dearing. It was going to be a Catholic funeral. I got ready, found my daddy’s keys and headed out. I was a bit early, so I waited for Father Dearing in the Sanctuary. Before stepping into the pew I knelt on one knee and made the sign of the cross. I pulled down the kneeler and immediately began praying. The church was beautiful. It was an older church with stained glass windows, each one depicting different images. The ceiling was painted like the sky and there were statues and candles toward the front and along the sides. It provided a peaceful ambiance that allowed an internal calm to sweep over me… kind of like a hug.

Father Dearing eventually came out and we made the arrangements. He prayed with me and over me. He had known me since I was a baby and he had known my father since before I was even born. He actually married my parents. It was comforting to talk with him. He always knew the right things to say and I was grateful to him in that moment. His words carried me through the rest of the evening and I was able to get some sleep, surprisingly enough.

Morning came and I picked Maggie up from the airport and brought her back to the house. I called Ms. Sophie like I said I would and gave her the information for the service.

On the day of the funeral, I had Maggie with me. There were a bunch of other people who came that I also knew. Ms. Sophie was there, and she also stayed by my side. My daddy had a lot of friends and it warmed my heart to see them all come to pay their respects. There was a lot of crying and a lot of hugging. After the funeral people began coming to the house. There was food and somber conversation, but then people started to leave and eventually it was only me, Maggie, and Ms. Sophie left in the house. The two of them put away the food that was left and cleaned up for me. I appreciated their friendship and couldn’t have gotten through it all without them.

I think Ms. Sophie was right. Maybe it
was
fate that we met on the plane that day.

Later, in the still of the night, the quiet of the dark, after everyone had left and I was alone again with only my thoughts, I wept. I wept for my daddy. I wept for the mother I don’t remember, and I wept for me. I wept for the loneliness, and I wept for the sorrow. I wiped my tears and dug in a bag that had my music CDs that Maggie was thoughtful enough to bring with her and I found my
Civil Wars
disc. I popped it in the player, turned the music down low, curled up on the couch and allowed myself to cry. I cried myself to sleep.

Two Months Later

Two months had passed since the funeral and I’d been slowly stepping into my new life. I missed my daddy always, but every day was slightly easier than the day before. I’d decided to keep my childhood home. It was paid for after all, and although there were some repairs that need to be made here and there, I figured I’d get to them when I got to them. Money wasn’t an issue right away because of my daddy’s life insurance policy, and the fact that I had managed to save some money when I was living in Colorado. I still wanted to work, however, so I got a job at one of the local restaurants as a waitress. I talked to Ms. Sophie often and I kept in touch with Maggie. Other than that, I pretty much stayed home, read a lot of books, and watched a lot of movies.

That day, though, I had decided I would finally take Ms. Sophie up on her offer. She’d invited me to the country club for an 11:30 lunch. What did one wear to a country club anyway? I scanned my closet for something decent and landed on a cream colored sundress that hit slightly above the knee and paired it with a strappy sandal. I left my hair down and reached for the makeup. A touch of mascara, blush, and lip gloss would do. I sprayed my perfume in the air and walked through it, knowing a light misting was all that was ever really needed. I grabbed my keys and out the door I went.

When I pulled into the country club, I gave my keys to the parking attendant and walked inside to find Ms. Sophie. I took maybe ten steps inside the front entrance when I heard my name being called somewhere behind me.

“Lily?”

Wait, I recognize that voice, and I’ve only heard it once.
I couldn’t really describe it and it wouldn’t make any sense if I tried, but my name rolling off his lips made me feel like a freshman all over again crushing on a senior. Gawd, how was it that I’d managed to get through my adult life up to this point without feeling this way about a guy?
Can I go back to that?
Please?
‘Uncomfortable’ didn’t even begin to describe how I felt around that man, but then again, I was uncomfortable around most men.

I took a breath, turned around, and standing right behind me, and I mean
right
behind me, was Cooper Hudson. He was wearing khakis and a button down white shirt that looked like it was tailor made just for him. I was pretty sure my jaw dropped open and there may have been some drool, but I was hoping like hell that I remained somewhat dignified and my worst fears were just trying to tease me.

“Hi. Cooper, isn’t it?” He didn’t need to know that his presence rattled me, and I was hoping it wasn’t painfully obvious.