Authors: James D. Doss
In the Shadow of Three Sisters Mesa
This being his weekly visit to his aged relative, Daisy Perika's long, lean nephew was seated at her kitchen table. It was evident that his entire attention was focused on the tribe's weekly newspaper, more particularly a column by a Granite Creek astrologer-psychic, wherein the seer predicted that (following an earthquake of unprecedented magnitude) the Lost Civilization of Atlantis would surface in the South Pacific! Though it was absolutely certain that the calamity would occur on February 10 at 9:15
A.M
. Mountain Standard Time, the stars and planets were somewhat foggy on the precise year of the eventâwhich might be 2007, or perhaps 2077âdepending upon whether or not Saturn decided to visit the House of Uranus whilst that latter planet was in diametric juxtaposition to the Twenty-sixth Planet, which had not yet been discovered. The whole thing was a sham, of course.
(
Clarifying note:
Reference is not made to the astrologer's immodest prophecyâbut rather to the more unpretentious sham currently being committed by Charlie Moon, whose apparent interest in the newspaper was a pretense.)
As it happened, Moon had heard the tramp's shuffle-footed approach when the intruder was a good hundred yards away, and the full-time rancher, part-time tribal investigator thought it would be entertaining to see how his aunt would deal with this unwelcome guest. In happy anticipation of the fireworks to come, he turned another page of the
Southern Ute Drum
and waited for the fun to begin. In about six seconds, he estimated. And began to count them off.
One thousand and one. One thousand and two.
If Daisy had not been concentrating all her attention on the preparation of a morning meal for herself and her nephew, she might have been aware of Yadkin Dixon's arrival. Or perhaps notâthe hungry man was intentionally making a stealthy approach.
One thousand and three. One thousand and four.
The way Mr. Dixon saw it, a hard-hearted old woman who kicked at chipmunks and heaved stones at pretty, flitting bluebirds could not be expected to deal kindly with a self-educated economist who firmly believed in the concept of a free lunch. Or free breakfast, as the case might be.
One thousand and five. One thousand and six.
The first evidence of his unwanted presence was the tap-tap of a knuckle on the kitchen windowâand his long, horsy face gawking at her through the glass. After a startled twitch, the Ute woman quickly turned away. In Daisy's Book of Bad Things, this particular pestilence fell into that same insufferable category as the dull ache that plagued her left hip on a rainy day. Her remedy was: Ignore the hateful thing, it would eventually go away.
Her attempt to pretend that Dixon did not exist was wasted on the thick-skinned beggar who camped out somewhere in the vicinity of her home. The persistent fellow was not about to leave without some nourishment to occupy that hollow space betwixt the Coors pewter belt buckle and his spine.
Shamming on unashamedly, Moon pretended to be engrossed in an article entitled “Treating Hemorrhoids with Acupuncture.”
Ouch.
After ignoring the beggar for a full two seconds, Daisy gave up the game. Like death and taxes that were here to stay, Mr. Dixon was not going away. She wiped her hands on a polka-dot apron, jerked the back door open.
Before she had a chance to say something uncivil, Dixon tipped a tattered slouch hat. “Good morning, ma'amâand God bless you.” Though a greeting of this sort tended to disarm his ordinary marks, he might as well have expected a cheerful “Howdy-do” to charm a grinning-skull tattoo off the hairy hide of a whiskey-soaked Hell's Angel.
Daisy marched outside, wagged a finger in his face. “Don't you start ma'am-ing me, you two-legged coyote.”
Ughâhe smells like last week's fish.
She glared at the filthy white man. “What d'you want this time?”
As if I don't know.
Charlie Moon also knew. And unseen by those outside, he had made his way to the cookstove, plopped several fat sausage links into a cast-iron skillet.
Mr. Dixon assumed a pitiful tone. “I wondered if you could spare a poor, homeless person a few leftovers from your table.” His hopeful smile exposed yellowed teeth that resembled hard little kernels of un-popped corn. “Some cold, pasty oatmealâor a few potato peels?”
“I gave you something to eat just last week.” Daisy tried to recall the details and did. “It was a cheese sandwich, big enough to choke a bull moose.” Though somewhat rusty from lack of use, Daisy's conscience gently reminded her that
the months-old cheese was fuzzy with blue mold and on top of that the bread was hard enough to break a brass monkey's teeth andâ
Being one who did not accept criticism gracefully, she interrupted the inner voice:
I scraped the fur off that cheese. And even if the sliced bread was a little stale, you can't expect a dirt-poor widow woman to give her last slice of fresh bread to a man who hasn't used a toothbrush since that goober-pea farmer from Georgia was president.
Blissfully unaware of Daisy's internal dialogue, the hungry man rubbed his stomach. “Alas, I have long since digested that delectable delicacy.” Dixon assumed a saintly expression he had recently seen on a stained-glass window at St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Durango, where he had also tapped the Rector's Emergency Discretionary Fund for bus fare to Topeka so that he might attend his dear old mother's funeral (while Dear Old Mother was on a Caribbean cruise with her latest husband). “I would be grateful for some broken soda crackers. Or a shriveled-up apple core.”
Moon cracked three brown-shell eggs on the edge of the skillet, smiled appreciatively at the man's line of talk. It was always a pleasure to witness a highly skilled professional going about his work.
Daisy was not about to leave the subject of the white vagrant's last visit. “And after I fed you that sandwich, what did you do?” Like a well-rehearsed attorney, the prosecutor-persecutor answered her own question. “You thanked me by stealing a brand-new ax from my pile of piñon wood!”
The beggarâwho was short of everything but prideâstiffened his back and lied: “I did no such thing.”
Her nostrils flared dangerously. “Don't tell me that, you snake-eyed sneak-thiefâI was watching you from that window.” To identify the physical evidence that supported her accusation, the witness for the prosecution pointed to indicate the aforesaid window.
Little wheels turned in his head, tiny ratchets clicked and clacked, and so on and so forth. Figuratively, of course. “I might have picked up your ax.” Dixon's highly plastic features effortlessly assumed the injured expression of one whoâthough painfully wounded by a malicious and false accusationâwould not take offense. “But even if I didâall I ever intended was to borrow it for a few hours.”
The hard-faced woman had a ready answer for that. “Then why didn't you bring it back?”
Having fended off many serious allegations over the years, Dixon did not miss a beat. “It is my faulty memory.” He leaned forward, fixed his feisty accuser with an earnest gaze. “Ever since I was struck north of Clarksville, Tennessee, by that speeding L&N freight train that was pulling eighteen boxcars and a green caboose, I can hardly remember anythingâeven my name.” He paused for a moment, evidently involved in an intense mental effort to recall what the initials Y-D stood for, only to be defeated by the arduous task. “But be assured that as soon as I return to my modest encampment, I shall search for yourâuhâdear me, you seeâit has slipped away from me already.” A cherubic smile. “Tell me againâwhat it was that is missingâa hammer from your toolshed?”
The old teakettle was approaching a boil; she hissed at him: “You took my new axâand it was on my woodpile!”
Dixon stared at the neat stack of split piñon. “Hmmm.” He nodded as if the light was beginning to dawn. “An
ax,
you say. Well if I should find such an implement among my meager belongings, I shall bring it to you directly.”
“Well I won't hold my breath.” Daisy exhaled. “And there's another thing.” Inhaled. “You've got no right to be squatting on the Southern Ute reservation.” She pointed at her house. “My nephew's inside, and he's a tribal policeman andâ”
“Is that a fact?” Dixon's poor memory had made a remarkable recovery. “I was under the impression that Mr. Moon had retired from the Ute police department several years ago, to manage his cattle ranch.”
“Charlie is a tribal investigator, and if I just snap my fingersâ” she displayed a finger and thumb, all cocked to snap, “âhe'll trot out here and arrest you right on the spot andâ”
“You called?”
Following Dixon's gaze, Daisy turned to see her nephew's lanky form in the doorway. Moon had brought with him a platter of scrambled eggs and pork sausage. These victuals were tastefully accompanied by a pair oven-hot biscuits.
Yadkin Dixon fixed a hopeful gaze on the food. “It is good to see you, sir. I have continued to follow your career for some time nowâand if I may say so, I am to be counted among your many admirers.”
Moon chuckled at the blatant flattery, offered the plate to his ardent fan.
The gift was gratefully accepted by the famished man.
Daisy shook her head, turned to mutter misgivings to her overly generous relative: “Now that good-for-nothing bum'll be back every day, begging food, stealing anything that ain't nailed down.” Knowing her words were wasted, she elbowed him aside, huffed and grumbled her way back into the kitchen.
Charlie Moon waited patiently while the enthusiastic diner devoured the hearty breakfast. After Dixon had wiped his mouth on his sleeve and burped, the tribal investigator gave him a look that would have shaken a more sensible man. This was accompanied by an order. “You bring that ax back
today.
” As the sly fellow was opening his mouth to protest, the Ute cut him off: “And if you so much as steal a
look
at any of my aunt's property, I'll give Chief of Police Whitehorse a call. The very least he'll do is run you off the res. More likely, he'll put you up in the tribe's modern correctional facility for ninety days.”
Normally such a threat would have caused Dixon to protest, or at least raise an eyebrow, but a full stomach has a calming effect on a man. He picked a pointy juniper needle off a convenient branch, thoughtfully picked his teeth, pondered the offer of a free room and three meals a day. Concluded that it would place too many restrictions on his cherished freedom of movement. “I will certainly return the lady's ax.” He tossed the toothpick aside. “And henceforth, I promise not toâuhâborrow any property that belongs to your charming aunt.” He raised his right hand to show Moon a soiled palm. “You have my word of honor, sir.”
Great. With that and six bits I could buy me a seventy-five-cent cup of coffee.
Moon looked up to watch a golden eagle float by. By the time he lowered his gaze, the scruffy-looking white man had ambled over to the Columbine Expedition.
The visitor caressed the Ford Motor Company product. “This is quite a spiffy motorcar.”
Moon winced at the greasy streaks Dixon's grubby fingers were tracing on the glistening fender. “I just waxed it.”
“And you did a fairly decent job.” Mr. Dixon got that faraway look in his eye, also cleared his throat. Which is a double warning that whether the unwary listener likes it or not, he is about to share a favorite memory. “Back in Michigan, when I was just a young lad, my daddy owned a cherry-red 1963 Jaguar XKE 3.8 coupe. Pop kept it garaged, except on Sundays, when he'd roll it out and take me for a ride into Lansing.” His sigh was scented with nostalgia-blossom perfume. “Talk about your fine automobilesâthere is absolutely
nothing
like a Jag.”
Aunt Daisy's Very Bad Dream
Daisy was busy at the propane range, putting the final touches on her nephew's breakfast. This amounted to one skillet filled with sizzling sausage and fried potatoes, another of fluffy scrambled eggs, plus a simmering pot of green chili stew.
Work, work, workâthat's all I ever do.
As a gray mist slipped out of Spirit Canyon and settled over her mind, the cook sighed.
I bet that thieving white man'll be back here tomorrow, licking his lips and asking for any prime rib and baked potatoes that's left over from my lunch.
Recalling his whining request for an apple core, her wrinkled face crinkled into a crooked little smile.
I ought to give him a big, shiny red apple with enough pickleweed poison in it to kill a dozen smelly moochersâthat'd teach him a lesson he wouldn't forget!
In Daisy's version of the heartwarming tale, this was how Snow White had dispensed with the witch, who should have known better than to trust a silly white girl who had run away from home to hang out with a truckload of dwarves. From the shaman's experience, one
pitukupf
in the neighborhood was sufficient.
Fortunately for Mr. Dixon, the cook had dismissed him from her malevolent thoughts. But Charlie Moon was not so lucky. As the broth began to froth and bubble, Daisy sensed the time was ripe to make some troubleâand commenced to stir the pot. “Charlie, there's something that's been bothering me.”
Moon turned another page of the
Southern Ute Drum.
No sham this time.
“I've been having this same bad dream, over and over.” No response. She turned up the volume. “Last night, I had it again. It was so scary I woke up with the sweats.”
He frowned at a full-page listing of Upcoming Events, had a great notion.
I should take Lila Mae McTeague to the dance.
No two ways about itâthe long-legged FBI agent would be the best-looking woman there.
The Ute elder turned to scowl at her nephew. “Did you hear what I said?”