Authors: Stassi Evers
“This was the only time I
’ll ever allow myself to cry about this so it’s over and done and never again.”
From that moment
on, he knew what he had to do. Everything up until the day of the attacks no longer mattered. Not even Hannah – not right now.
She
was still very much on his mind. It was going to take everything he had and then some to push his thoughts of her out of his head in order for him to do what he knew he had to do.
Like so many young American men
and women, Conall wanted to serve his country now more than ever. He wondered if this was how nearly anyone who’d ever served in the military during war or peacetime had felt.
He’d thought about joining the Army before but his athletic success had pointed him in a different direction. Since his accident had altered that path, it was time to reconsider his options.
There was one problem. He knew they wouldn’t let him enlist if they found out about the serious injuries he’d incurred from his accident.
After doing some research, he decided his best bet would be to remain silent about his injuries and they would most likely not check his civilian medical records. He would take his chances and risk being discharged if they found out in the future.
Less than a month later, Conall enlisted in the Army.
He struggled daily with having to suppress his thoughts of Hannah. If he allowed her into his mind, even a little bit, he wouldn’t be able to do the job he’d committed himself to do. Still he longed for the day when he would finally get to meet her again. No matter what, he wasn’t going to give up on the thought of having a relationship with her someday.
*****
Three months after the attacks, at the end of his first semester, and just after he turned nineteen, Conall said goodbye to his roommate Steve and headed to an army base in Georgia for basic training. He’d miss being on the college campus but he’d be able to continue getting his degree between deployments.
He was a model soldier from the start. His physical size and mental toughness made him
a stand out among the men in his platoon. He exceeded every challenge and was second to none among the troops. From marksmanship, to combat training, to rappelling, to weapons training, he was the best. It wasn’t long before his commanding officer was recommending Conall for Special Forces.
It was now the end of April 2002 and the
U.S. military was still waiting on President Bush to decide whether to send troops to Iraq or not. The investigation into 9/11 was ongoing and it was a waiting game at this point.
Conall was well aware of the date that had come and gone. This time it had been completely out of his hands
to meet Hannah near the ferry landing. He was still in training.
He wanted to go but his fate was determined by Uncle Sam. He’d known from the beginning of basic that
he wasn’t going to be able to take a leave at that time and tried to put it out of his mind.
To help him deal with his
disappointment, during his advanced individual training or AIT, he’d begun thinking about the different opportunities he could pursue. Some of his options were leadership, recruitment, or the elite army ranger unit.
Because of his skills,
Conall decided he would best be able to serve as an army ranger so after AIT, he attended the U.S. Army ranger school at Fort Benning, GA.
He knew the odd
s of him making it through the ranger program were against him. He’d heard the statistics; only about fifty percent of the men who started would graduate. That’s how rigorous the training was but he was determined to see it through. He knew the skills he’d shown in basic training would serve as the building blocks for what he would have to learn and endure in the next phase of his training.
Over the next two months, Conall learned to be a combat leader while enduring the greatest mental and psychological stress
ors, as well as physical fatigue he’d ever experienced in his life.
Never before had his physical stamina and mental toughness been so vigorously challenged. He and his fellow soldiers were placed in extreme conditions where they realized what their capabilities and limitations were. Rough terrain, hunger,
and weather extremes were mentally and physically exhausting psychological stressors designed to make a soldier combat ready.
As expected, nearly fifty percent of Conall’s fell
ow soldiers dropped out of the ranger training. Most of them were physically and mentally unable to continue but not him.
He was made for this. The years of abuse from his peers in grade school and junior high had made Conall mentally tough, more than he ever knew in fact
, until his military training. He was able to endure the pain and ignore the isolation better than most. He enjoyed being alone physically and in his thoughts and could do so for long periods of time if the situation called for it.
Conall also realized his shyness had contributed to his keen observational skills. For nearly his entire life, he’d been too shy to engage in conversation, preferring instead to watch and listen.
The ranger training had made him into a leader but he hadn’t lost the self preservation behaviors he’d learned as a child. If anything, they were enhanced and it served him well.
Again, his commanding officers saw
these characteristics in Conall that set him apart from most of the other soldiers. When he completed the ranger training at the top of his class, they wasted no time in steering him towards another specialty.
“
Sniper training.”
The words were hard
enough for him to repeat, and even harder to comprehend as being someone’s job.
At first, he was more than a bit leery about becoming a member of a team whose mission was to deliberately kill other humans. It went against everything he’d been taught having been raised with a strong Catholic upbringing.
He enjoyed being a Ranger and the status he’d achieved as a 1
st
lieutenant and he wasn’t sure he needed or wanted to go beyond what he’d been doing as a part of Special Forces.
His commanding officer George MacIntyre, saw things differently. He gave him the pitch.
“Conall, we realize this is something that the average person would never consider doing in their lifetime but let’s face it – you’re not the average person.”
No matter how many times he heard someone say that about him, Conall couldn’t get used to thinking of himself as an above average person.
“We’ve all seen the skills you’ve got on and off the battlefield and I’d like to give you the facts about being a sniper before you make any decisions about your future.”
Conall was certain he was going to turn it down but he knew he had nothing to lose by getting more information.
“I’ll listen but I’m not making any promises. When I signed up to join the army I knew I’d be shooting at people but I didn’t want to have an up close and personal view of landing my shots.”
“Fair enough. That’s all I’m asking.”
George began to go into all of the details about what it meant to be a sniper.
He asked,
“What do you think of when you hear the word ‘sniper’?”
A
vision immediately came into Conall’s mind.
“I see a lone gunman, in a disguise that makes him blend into his surroundings and he hides until he can take a shot at an enemy targ
et. He kills specific people on command without being seen.”
George nodded his head in acknowledgement.
“That’s exactly what most people’s idea of a sniper is but that’s the Hollywood version.”
He proceeded to explain the facts.
“It’s true that snipers are highly skilled marksmen, but there’s more involved than the perceived idea that they’re lone assassins racking up ‘confirmed kills’.
George continued.
“Every sniper has a spotter. They work in pairs and their main mission on the battlefield is reconnaissance. They’re masters of stealth which allows them to go unnoticed behind enemy lines and report back to command about such things as their size, strength, and location.”
Conall’s interest had started to peak.
He liked the idea of stealth missions.
“There are of course times when a mission calls for a key enemy figure to be taken out in order to save lives but those are rare in the scheme of things.
In general, snipers are more concerned with the number of lives they can save than with the number of lives they can take. That’s why the majority of a sniper’s targets are material ones. This can include such things as fuel supplies, generators, radios, vehicle engine blocks, and water supplies.”
To his surprise, t
he more George talked the more interested Conall became.
“What kind of training is involved in becoming a sniper?”
“Well, there’s more to it that just getting a target in your sights and pulling the trigger. Before the shot, there are a number of variables to consider such as wind speed and direction, range, mirage, movement of the target, temperature, and barometric pressure to name a few. The work that it takes to get into position for the perfect shot is immense.”
“So there’s classroom training to learn about the variables.”
“Yes, there’s classroom training to expand on your expert marksmanship skills in addition to field training where you’ll become a master in camouflage, infiltration, stealth, and observation techniques.”
Conall had listened intently to everything George had to say. He was ninety nine percent sure he was going to agree to become a sniper but he didn’t want to let George in on his thoughts just yet.
“You’ve given me a lot to think about. Can I take a few days to process it before I give you my decision?”
“That’s fine by me. In fact, that’s exactly what I’d suggest you do. It’s a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
Walking back to his barracks, Conall couldn’t help but to feel some exhilaration over what he’d just heard. He knew he possessed the necessary skills, temperament, discipline, and perseverance that a good sniper would need to complete his missions.
He thought to himself,
“I know I can handle the material targets but what about the human ones?”
Being in the army and engaging the enemy would mean he would be shooting at people and hitting some of them. Knowing this, it was very possible that as an infantryman he would be hurting or even killing more people during his deployments than he would be as a snipe
r. The difference was that as an infantryman it was not always certain to know whose bullets had hit someone but as a sniper he would know he’d successfully hit his target. This is what he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle – seeing his target.
After a lot of thought and introspection, he concluded that he’d rather have fewer human targets as a sniper than he would as anything else.
His final decision was based on his skills. For starters, Conall was an expert marksman. For the M16 series, he’d hit 38 out of 40 targets. He was also well versed in observation, stalking, camouflage, and infiltration and he enjoyed doing missions that engaged these skills. He had the patience of a saint, didn’t mind doing things alone, and could refrain from talking for hours on end. His senses were strong and his mental acuity was sharp along with having good intuition.
Two days later
, he gave George the good news.
“I’ve decided to give sniper training a shot.”
George didn’t waste any time sending him for the training and five weeks later, Conall was a full fledged army ranger sniper.
It was August of 2002 and h
e was stateside waiting and training for what seemed to be an inevitable outcome. The U.S. government and citizens were not about to let those responsible for the 9/11 attacks to go unpunished. It was only a matter of time before a targeted retaliation would begin. When the time and place were determined Conall was certain to be deployed for an unspecified amount of time.
The longer he had to wait
for deployment, the more Hannah stayed on his mind. Maybe it was better that they hadn’t met again. It would’ve made leaving all the more difficult for both of them.
He knew she’d turned 18
already and had graduated from high school in June. There was no question that he thought she’d be going to college in the fall. He imagined that she’d be popular among the guys and it made him sad to think that she’d probably start dating if she wasn’t already. He knew he couldn’t stop this from happening. It was a part of the normal course of life but he wanted it to be with him.
Conall st
ill had no desire to date other girls. Going into the army made it all the more possible to avoid dating.
Most of his army buddies had pictures of wives and girlfriends posted near their bunks.
He was sure they were wondering what his status was but no one dared to say a word.
He didn’t pay much attention to it, but Conall
knew he was the alpha male in his platoon. Even though he was quiet, he’d commanded the respect of the other men. They looked up to him for a number of reasons.