Stone of Tears (18 page)

His eyes came to her, as if pleading for her to help him escape this. Pleading for her help. “I don’t sleep with my eyes open.”

“Yes, you do.” She put a hand on his arm. “I have seen you sleeping for months as we were trying to stop Rahl. When I stood watch, I often saw you sleep. Only since we left D’Hara have I seen you sleep with your eyes open, just like Zedd does.”

Richard still had his back to the three women. “What do you want? How can you help me with the headaches?” he called to them.

“If we are to discuss this, we are not going to talk to the back of your head.” Sister Verna’s tone was like one used when talking to an obstinate child. “You will address us properly.”

It was the wrong tone to use on Richard at that moment. He yanked the door open and slammed it as he went out. Kahlan thought the door might come off its hinges, but it didn’t. She felt heartsick about what she had said to him. He had wanted her to take his side; he was in no mood to hear the truth.

She was puzzled by his attitude. Richard was not one to avoid the truth. But he was deathly afraid of something. She turned and looked at the three women.

Sister Grace separated her hands and let them hang at her sides. “This is no game, Mother Confessor. If he isn’t helped by us, he is going to die. He doesn’t have much time.”

Kahlan nodded, her anger gone, replaced by an empty sadness. “I will go talk to him,” she said in a small voice that was almost lost in the large room. “Please wait here. I will bring him back.”

Richard was sitting on the ground, leaning against the short wall, right under where his sword had cut a swath the night before when the screeling had come. His elbows were on his knees, his hands over his head, fingers locked together. He didn’t look up. Kahlan sat tight against him.

“Your head hurts pretty bad right now, doesn’t it?”

He nodded. She pulled the dry shaft of a weed and held it between her hands as she rested her forearms on her knees. As if what she had said reminded him, he took some leaves out of his shirt pocket and put them in his mouth.

Kahlan stripped a little leaf off the stem. “Richard, tell me, what are you afraid of?”

He chewed the leaves a moment, and then lifted his head, leaning back. “Do you remember when the screeling came, and I said I sensed it, and you said maybe it was just that I heard it?” She nodded. “When I killed that man today, I sensed him too, just like the screeling. It was just the same. Danger. I didn’t know what either was, but I sensed the danger. I knew there was trouble, but I didn’t know what kind.”

“What does that have to do with the three in there?”

“Before we went in the spirit house, to see those women, I had the same sensation: danger. I don’t know what it means, but it’s the same feeling. Somehow, I know those women are going to come between us.”

“Richard, you don’t know that. They said only that they want to help you.”

“I do know. Just as I knew the screeling was there, and the man with the spear was there. These women are somehow a danger to me.”

Kahlan felt a lump growing in her throat. “You also said you know the headaches might kill you. Richard, I’m afraid for you.”

“And I’m afraid of magic. I hate magic. I hate the magic of the sword. I wish I could be rid of it. You can’t imagine the things I’ve had to do with it. You don’t know what it took to turn the blade white. Darken Rahl’s magic killed my father. It took my brother. It killed your sister. It hurt a great many people.” He let out a deep breath. “I hate magic.”

“I have magic,” she said softly.

“And it almost kept us apart forever.”

“But it didn’t. You figured out how to make it work. Without my magic, I would never have met you.” She rubbed his arm. “Magic also gave Adie back her foot, and has helped a lot of others. Zedd is a wizard; he has the gift. Would you say that is bad? Zedd has always used his gift to help people.

“Richard, you have magic too. You have the gift. You as much as admitted it. You used it to sense the screeling. You saved me. You used it to sense the man that was going to kill Chandalen. You saved him.”

“I don’t want to have magic.”

“It seems to me you are thinking of the problem, and not the solution. Isn’t that what you always say: think of the solution, not the problem?”

Richard thumped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He let out an exasperated breath. “Is this what being married to you is going to be like? For the rest of my life, you always telling me when I’m being stupid?”

She smiled. “Would you have me let you delude yourself?”

He scrubbed his hands on his face. “I guess not. My head hurts so much, I guess it’s keeping me from thinking straight.”

“Then let’s do something about it? Let’s go in and at least talk to the Sisters, and hear what they have to say? They said they want to help.”

He gave her a dark look. “So did Darken Rahl.”

“Running away is not the solution. You didn’t run from Darken Rahl.”

He looked at her a long moment and then nodded. “I’ll listen.”

The three were standing where Kahlan had left them. They gave her small smiles of appreciation, apparently pleased she had brought him back. Richard and Kahlan stood close together in front of the three women.

“We will listen—listen—to what you have to say about my headaches.”

Sister Grace looked to Kahlan. “Thank you for your help, Mother Confessor, but we will speak with Richard alone now.”

Richard’s anger flared again, but he kept his tone in check. “Kahlan and I are to be married.” The three gave each other the look again. It was a little more serious this time. “What you have to say to me affects her, too. If you want to talk to me, she will stay and hear it too. Both of us, or neither. Choose.”

The looks were still passing between the three. At last Sister Grace spoke.

“Very well.”

“And the first thing you should know is that I don’t like magic, and I’m not convinced I have the gift. If I do, I am not pleased about it, and only want to be rid of it.”

“We are not here to please you; we are here to save your life. To do that we must teach you to use the gift. If you don’t learn to control it, it will kill you.”

“I understand. I had a similar problem with the Sword of Truth.”

“The first thing you must learn,” Sister Verna said, “is that just as the Mother Confessor is to be treated with deference, so are we. We have worked long and hard to become Sisters of the Light, and expect to be treated with due respect. I am
Sister
Verna, this is
Sister
Grace, and this is
Sister
Elizabeth.”

Richard glared at them. At last, he gave a bow of his head. “As you wish. Sister Verna.” He regarded each in turn. “And who are the Sisters of the Light?”

“We are the ones who train wizards, those with the gift.”

“Where are the Sisters of the Light from?”

“We all live and work at the Palace of the Prophets.”

Kahlan frowned. “Sister Verna, I have never heard of the Palace of the Prophets. Where is it?”

“In the city of Tanimura.”

Kahlan’s frown deepened. “I know every city in the Midlands. I have never heard of Tanimura.”

Sister Verna held Kahlan’s gaze for a moment. “Nonetheless, that is where we are from.”

“Why were you surprised when you found out how old I am?”

“Because,” Sister Grace said, “it is almost unheard of for one with the gift not to come to our attention when he is still young.”

“How young?”

“At the very most, a third your age.”

“And why do you think I did not come to your attention?”

“Obviously, you have been hidden from us, somehow.”

Kahlan recognized that Richard was slipping into his Seeker’s role, seeking answers to his questions before he gave them anything they wanted.

“Did you train Zedd?”

“Who?”

“Zeddicus Zu’l Zorander, Wizard of the First Order.”

The look passed between them again. “We don’t know First Wizard Zorander.”

“I thought it was your business to know of ones with the gift. Sister Verna?”

They stiffened. “You know this Wizard of the First Order?”

“I do. Why don’t you?”

“Is he old?” Richard nodded. “Perhaps he was before our time.”

“Perhaps.” Richard, with a fist on his hip, strolled a few steps away and stopped with his back to them. “How do you know about me? Sister Elizabeth.”

“It is our business to know about those with the gift: wizards. Though you were obviously hidden from us, when you triggered the gift, we knew.”

“What if I don’t want to be a wizard?”

“That is your business. Ours is to teach you to control the magic. We are not here to force you to be a wizard, only to help you control the magic so you will live. Then you may be what you wish.”

Richard marched back and put his face close to Sister Verna. “How do you know I have the gift?”

“We are the Sisters of the Light. It is our business to know.”

“You thought I would be young. You thought I would be with my parents. You didn’t know I was the Seeker. You don’t know who the First Wizard is. You seem to be slipping in your business. Besides these errors, perhaps you are also mistaken about me having the gift, Sister Verna? Your mistakes do not inspire confidence. Does your position of respect tolerate such mistakes?”

Each woman’s face was crimson. Sister Verna controlled her voice with an effort. “Richard, our job, our calling, is to help those with the gift. We have devoted our lives to it. We are from far away. What we have learned has been done at a great distance. We don’t have all the answers. The matters you speak of are not important. What is important is that you have the gift, and if you don’t let us help you, you will die.

“One reason we help those with the gift when they are young, and we wanted to see your parents, is because of the very difficulty we are having right now. If we can talk to the parents, we can help them see what is best for their son. Parents are more interested in the well-being of their children than one of your age is in himself. Teaching one of your age is going to be difficult. People are more easily taught when they are young.”

“Before they are able to think for themselves, Sister Verna?” She was silent. “I will ask again. How do you know I have the gift?”

Sister Grace smoothed her straight black hair. “When one is born with the gift, it lies dormant, and is harmless. We strive to find these boys when they are young. We have a number of ways of knowing who they are. It has happened that one with the gift does things that trigger its growth, its evolution. When that happens it becomes a threat to them. How you managed to slip by our knowledge is something we can’t answer.

“Once triggered, the power begins to evolve. It cannot be stopped. It must be mastered or you will die. This is what has happened to you. It is exceedingly rare for it to happen this way. To be honest, though we have been taught it has happened before, none of us has personal knowledge of it. Back at the Palace of the Prophets there will be old records of this in others, and we will look into it. But that doesn’t change what matters: you have the gift, it has been triggered, and the evolution has begun.

“We have never had to teach one of your age before. I fear the trouble it is going to cause at the Palace. Teaching the gift requires discipline. One of your age has obvious difficulty with this.”

Richard softened his tone, but his gaze hardened. “Sister Grace, I will ask for the last time. How do you know I have the gift?”

She stood up a little straighter and let out a noisy breath. She flicked a glance to Sister Verna. “Tell him.”

Sister Verna gave a resigned nod and pulled a small black book from behind her belt. With a frown, she began leafing through it. “Those with the gift have some use of it throughout their life, in little ways, even though it lies dormant. Perhaps you have noticed how you could do some things that others could not, yes? The evolution of the gift is triggered by the specific use of the magic. Once triggered, it cannot be undone. This is what you have done.”

She continued turning pages, running her finger down them. “Ah. Here it is.” She lowered the book and looked up. “There are three things that must be done, in a specific manner, to trigger the gift. We don’t fully understand the precise nature of these things, but we understand their general principles. You have done these three things. First, you must use the gift to save another. Second, you must use the gift to save yourself. Third, you must use the gift to kill another with the gift. Perhaps you can see the difficulty in accomplishing them, and why we haven’t seen this before?”

“And what is written about me in that book?”

She looked once more to the book, then glanced up, lifting an eyebrow, to make sure he was paying attention before consulting the pages as she spoke. “First, you used the gift to save the life of one who was being pulled back into the underworld. Not physically, but by her mind. You drew her back. Without you, she would have been lost.” She looked up from under her eyebrows. “You understand, yes?”

Kahlan looked at Richard. They both understood. She was the one he had saved. “In the wayward pine,” she said, “the first night we met. When you kept the underworld from taking me back.”

Richard nodded to Sister Verna. “Yes, I understand.”

Sister Verna put her finger back to the book. “As for saving yourself with the gift … let’s see … I saw it here a minute … ah! Yes here it is.” She looked up from under her eyebrows again. “Second, you used the gift to save your own life.” She tapped the book with a finger. “You partitioned your mind. You understand, yes?”

Richard’s eyes closed. “Yes, I understand,” he said in a weak voice. Kahlan didn’t understand that one.

Sister Verna went back to the book. “Third, you used the gift to kill a wizard. His name was Darken Rahl. You understand, yes?”

“Yes.” He opened his eyes. “How do you know these things?”

“The things you have done used magic, specific magic, that leaves an essence because of who you are and because you are untrained. Were you trained, it would not leave this essence, and we would not know. We have ones back at the Palace of the Prophets who are sensitive to such events.”