Authors: Anne Mather
Sunday was much like Saturday, except that Ruth slept longer in the morning, and awakened feeling decidedly unwell. She guessed the altitude didn't agree with her, and making her own way to the coffee shop, refused everything but milk and wheat flakes.
After breakfast, she felt much better, and collecting her gloves and parka, she made her way across the busy square to where the ice rink was attracting a small crowd. Several of the professional skaters from the hotel were giving a small display, but after they were finished and the audience had applauded, the ice was given over to the amateurs, and Ruth went to hire some skates.
'May I accompany you?'
It was Johann Ferrier again, at her elbow, his smiling face full of confidence. She guessed he must have been waiting for her to join his skiing class, but when she didn't turn up, he had decided to look for her.
'I'm only going to
try
and skate,' she exclaimed reluctantly. 'I've never been on skates before. I'm sure you'll be awfully bored.'
'Allow me to be the best judge of that,' he declared, taking her arm. 'Come, I have some skates I can lend you over here. There is no need for you to stand in line.'
Ruth submitted to his eager ministrations, calculating that nothing untoward could happen on an ice rink. Afterwards, she intended going straight back to the hotel, and Herr Ferrier could find someone else to charm.
It was a little scary on the ice. Her feet kept running away with her, and she clung desperately to the railings that surrounded the rink, refusing Johann's pleas to her to trust him.
'You will never learn how to skate by hanging on to railings!' he exclaimed impatiently. 'You must let your body go where your feet will take it. Learn how to balance on your own two feet. See—it is easy!'
'For you. maybe.' Ruth insisted, glancing about her unhappily. 'I can't keep my balance. It's no good.'
'Did you never have the—what do you call them? —roller skates, when you were a little girl?' he demanded incredulously, and Ruth's brows drew together.
'Roller-skates?' she echoed blankly, and Johann raised his eyes skyward in evident exasperation.
'Where have you been living?' he exclaimed, half in humour, half in irritation. 'On a desert island?'
Ruth felt the hot colour surge into her cheeks, and misunderstanding her reaction, Johann apologised. 'I am sorry.' he said. 'I should not have said that. It is only that you are—how shall I say?—so timid!'
Timid!
Ruth's teeth clamped together. Was that really what she was—timid? She took a deep breath. If someone who had only known her for a little over twenty-four hours thought she was timid, how could she gxpect Aunt Davina. who knew her so much better, to consider her capable of being independent?
'What do you want me to do?' she asked now. cautiously removing one hand from the railings and putting it on Johann's sleeve.
'Ah. that is better.' he approved, grasping her hand in his and drawing her resistingly towards him.
'Now—so—come to me,' and seconds later she was gliding over the ice and into his arms.
It was a not unpleasant sensation, and excited by her own success, she did not object too strongly to his enveloping hold. On the contrary, by leaning on him, she found she could move steadily round the ice, and instead of clinging like a schoolgirl to the railings, she glided smoothly over the icy surface.
'It is fun, is it not?' he breathed, his lips against her hair, and she had to admit it was. Compared to her childish attempts at skiing, and her earlier stubbornness on the rink, this was exhilarating, and in no time at all she could balance holding only his hand.
'Thank you.' she said breathlessly, as they circled the ice for the umpteenth time, and she began to appreciate the time he was devoting to her, and Johann skated closer.
'You can thank me this evening,' he said, touching her cheek with a gloved finger. 'There is to be music and dancing at the hotel, and I am reserving the right to your company.'
Ruth made no objection. After all, she and Martin were going home tomorrow. It was good to relax and let oneself go. She would think of the future when she got back to London.
The accident happened as they were leaving the ice. Johann was skating ahead, pulling her after him, when a pair of skaters coming too fast, collided with them. The impact tore Johann's hand from Ruth's grasp, and she found herself spinning backwards across the ice. groping and flailing, and desperately trying to regain her balance.
She didn't. She came down heavily on to the ice, twisting her wrist and cracking her head, and sliding several feet farther, as the momentum carried her on.
Mouthing curses, Johann reached her first, kneeling beside her and chafing her hands in his. 'Ruth,
liebling,'
he muttered in his distress.
'Ach, die Idioten, sie haben kein Verstand.'
'I'm all right, really.' Ruth sat up gingerly, rubbing her head, it was just the shock I got.' She looked up at him ruefully. 'And after all your good work!'
Johann shook his head impatiently, and helped her to her feet. '
Idioten,'
he said again, glowering angrily at the two boys who had caused the accident, standing anxiously on the edge of the gathering group of skaters. 'They are so reckless. You could have been knocked senseless!'
'But I wasn't,' Ruth reassured him firmly. Nevertheless, she did feel decidedly unsteady, and she allowed him to remove her skates before they walked back across the ice. Her back still hurt, her head was starting to ache, and she wanted nothing so much as to lie down for a while, and she was grateful that Johann took her straight back to the hotel and advised her to rest for the afternoon.
'I will see you this evening,' he promised, bidding her goodbye at the foot of the stairs, and Ruth managed a smile before making her painful way upstairs.
She missed lunch, feeling too stiff to make the effort to go downstairs again, and when Martin returned in the late afternoon he came looking for her.
'What happened?' he exclaimed, examining her pale features with anxious eyes, and after she had told him: 'Have you seen a doctor?'
'A doctor?' Ruth looked incredulous. 'Honestly. Martin, a doctor, after falling on the ice!'
'Why not after falling on the ice? You could have done yourself some damage. Slipped a disc or something.'
'Oh. you're very reassuring, aren't you?' she exclaimed impatiently. 'My back just feels stiff, that's all. And I have a headache. I don't need a doctor.'
'I'm not so sure.' Martin regarded her thoughtfully. 'I know Mother would insist on it.'
'Your mother's not here.'
'No. but I am. And I'm supposed to be looking after you.' retorted Martin severely, obviously anticipating what his mother's reaction might be if she learned that Ruth had had an accident on the skating rink, while he was enjoying himself on the steeper slopes.
'Oh. all right.' Ruth gave in. In actual fact, she thought she would welcome something to get rid of her headache, and she didn't want to spoil their last evening. 'Call the doctor. Cover all possibilities.'
Martin pulled a face at her sarcasm, but he was evidently relieved to be able to summon professional advice, and within half an hour a Doctor Kaufmann presented himself at her door.
'I understand you had a skating accident,
fraiilein'
he said, coming over the the bed where she was lying. 'I think I had better do a thorough examination. That young man of yours is most concerned for your welfare.'
Ruth didn't trouble to explain that Martin was not exactly her young man. but her cousin. It wasn't important what Doctor Kaufmann thought, she decided, struggling to unfasten her sweater. Like Johann. he could form his own opinion.
Some minutes later. Ruth was beginning to wish Martin had never started this. The doctor's examination was certainly comprehensive, she thought disagreeably, resenting his professional hands upon her body, prodding and probing, and making her feel uncomfortable.
However, when Doctor Kaufmann straightened, and told her she could replace her clothes, his face was rather solemn, and mild panic flared inside her. Surely she didn't need hospital treatment? she thought anxiously. Surely the ache in her spine was only muscular? Why was he looking at her as if she was to blame?
'Is—is everything all right, doctor?' she asked at last, unable to bear the suspense any longer, and he turned away to replace his stethoscope in his bag.
'You have been lucky this time,
fraulein,'
he told her, snapping the bag shut. 'But I suggest you refrain from taking such unnecessary risks.'
Ruth breathed a sigh of relief. 'I know. I'd never skated before, you see,' she explained hurriedly. 'Then these two boys collided with me—' She shook her head. 'I lost my balance.'
'Yes, well, I would advise you not to do anything so reckless again,' remarked the doctor, softening a little. 'Young women in your condition are usually more concerned for themselves, but I suppose, like everything else, they object to the limitations put on them by their sex.'
He moved politely towards the door, but Ruth could not let him go like that. His words had not made sense to her, and she put a hand to her throat as a thought occurred to her. is—is something wrong with me, doctor?' she asked, her voice squeaking a little over the last words, and his dark brows descended in mild impatience.
'Wrong with you? No, nothing is wrong. It should be a perfectly normal pregnancy, so long as—'
'A—what?'
Ruth swung her legs to the floor then, and stared at him in wild disbelief. She didn't really need him to repeat it to know what he said, but the reality of it was so stunning, she needed those few moments to restore her sense of balance.
Doctor Kaufmann frowned, however. 'Did you not know, Miss Jason?' He shook his head. 'Hah, you must have done!' Ruth moved her hand in a helpless gesture of denial, and he came abruptly back to her. 'You did not know? But how could you not know? Have you not missed at least two—how do you say it?—the periods, no?'
Ruth's lips parted. Had she?
Had she?
She couldn't think. When she lived on the island, she had seldom thought about it, accepting the slight discomfort naturally when it came, and dismissing it from her mind at other times. She had never studied its regularity, or marked the date on the calendar. Living with her father, she had no one to discuss it with but Celeste, and even she had never paid it a lot of attention.
But now, sitting here in this Alpine hotel bedroom, she acknowledged that she could not remember having any discomfort since she came to live with Aunt Davina, and the inevitable conclusion to that awareness turned all her bones to water.
Dominic,
she thought faintly; she was going to have Dominic's baby. And fast on the heels of this thought came another—
she could never tell him!
'Well,
fraulein
? I am right, am I not?' Doctor Kaufmann was studying her anxious expression. 'And I suppose that young man outside is responsible.'
'Oh. no—no—that is—' Ruth put an unsteady hand to her head. 'I—I'd really rather not discuss it.'
Doctor Kaufmann shrugged. 'Very well, it is your decision. But I must impress upon you. the necessity to—how shall I say it?—curb your natural impulsiveness. Another fall as you had this morning, and I cannot guarantee you would not lose your baby.'
'No. No, I see.' Ruth was finding it almost impossible to think coherently. 'No, of course I won't do anything silly.'
'Good.' Doctor Kaufmann permitted himself a slight smile. 'And don't worry. You are a perfectly healthy young woman. Having a baby is the most natural thing in the world.'
'Thank you, doctor.' Ruth slid gingerly off the bed, to find that apart from the lingering stiffness, she felt much better.
'Nichts,'
responded the doctor dismissingly. and opened the door into the hall outside, where Martin was hovering. 'Your girlfriend is perfectly all right. Herr Pascal,' he reassured him politely, and walked briskly away towards the stairs.
Martin grinned as Ruth came to lean weakly against the door frame. 'All present and correct?' he asked teasingly. and she managed a faint nod.
That's good. I had visions of having to tell Mother how it happened!'
Aunt Davina! Ruth swallowed rather convulsively. What would she say when she discovered what had happened? She would have to be told, and Ruth mentally anticipated the battle that would ensue. She had few doubts that her aunt would be furious, and not without good reason, but she determined that on no account should she betray what had happened to Dominic. He was going to marry his fiancee. It was all arranged for September—Mrs Crown had told her that. She had also told her what a wonderful wife Barbara would make. The last thing Ruth wanted was for Dominic to feel compelled to marry her, when his whole future depended upon him making the right choice.
Ruth ate in her room that evening, despite Martin's pleas to the contrary. She felt she could not face Johann's eyes upon her, excusing herself on the grounds that she still felt slightly groggy. Martin did not object too strongly, and she guessed he had made arrangements to meet Val and David again. He had spoken enthusiastically of the day they had had out together, and Ruth was glad he was not there to probe her still vulnerable incredulity.
Her mirror image was reassuring, however. Without the doctor's testimony she would not have guessed there was another life growing inside her, although now she came to think of it, it explained so many things—her occasional nausea in the mornings. the hunger that gripped her at unusual times of the day. and the faint she had had the morning she went to see Mrs Crown.
Thinking of Mrs Crown brought her thoughts back' to Dominic, and a feeling of cold reality replaced her earlier wonder. No matter how miraculous the thought of having Dominic's child might be. she had to face facts. She was pregnant, and she was unmarried; with little likelihood of being otherwise, she acknowledged with a pang. She was young and healthy, and she had the money her father had left her. along with the allowance from her grandmother's estate, but she knew there was no way she could have this baby in England without Dominic finding out about it.