Stormy Glenn - Blaecleah Brothers 06 - Cowboy Convenience (5 page)

Seamus was just setting the food on the table when Yancy walked in. As per his usual, Yancy grabbed the plates, silverware, and glasses. He might not be a very good cook, but he could set the table with the best of them.
Yancy watched Seamus as he sat down and started serving himself. Seamus seemed to be doing everything he could to avoid Yancy’s gaze. Little by little, the euphoric bubble Yancy had been floating in since the shower started to deflate.
“Seamus, do you regret what we did?”
Seamus licked his lips as he set his fork down next to his plate. “No.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
Seamus’s eyes were slow to rise up and meet his, and Yancy almost winced at the uncertainty he could see in their glimmering green depths. Yancy sighed and clasped his hands together, resting his elbows on the table.
“I very much enjoyed what happened in the shower, Seamus, and I’d like to explore the attraction growing between us. But I won’t if that’s not what you want. As much as I want you, I will continue to just be your friend if that’s what you want.”
“But you do want me, right?”
Yancy’s nostrils flared as anger ripped through him. He suddenly understood Seamus’s uncertainty and wished that the good sheriff was standing in front of him at that moment so he could punch the man right in the face.
Yancy scooted off his seat and moved around to kneel at Seamus’s feet. Even on his knees he was almost as tall as Seamus was sitting. Yancy grabbed Seamus’s face between his hands and pulled him forward until they were nearly nose to nose.
“Now, you listen to me, Seamus Blaecleah. I am not Sheriff John Riley. I am not going to kiss you and then disappear. If you give me the green light, I’m going to grab onto you and never let you go.”
For a moment, Seamus worried his bottom lip with his teeth, glancing up at Yancy through his long eyelashes. “I never know if you’re just flirting with me or if you really mean the things you say.”
“Seamus, I meant every word I’ve spoken to you. I’ve wanted you since the first moment I laid eyes on you, but I held off because you had your sights set on John. But that is the only reason. Do not think that I held back because I didn’t want you.”
Seamus’s whole body seemed to shake as he inhaled a shaky breath. “But for how long?” he whispered. His words were filled with so much anguish that Yancy decided right then and there to track the sheriff down the next time he was in Cade Creek and follow through with his desire to punch the man.
“For as long as you’ll allow me to have you.”
Which, hopefully, would be forever.

Seamus wanted to believe Yancy more than anything, but previous experience had taught him that men might want him for a little while but no one wanted to stick around for the long haul.

Seamus wanted the long haul. He wanted the forever. He wanted what his folks and brothers had. It might be a farfetched dream, but he couldn’t help what his heart desired. He wanted the dream.

“How about the yellow light?” Seamus asked. “Would you still be interested if I gave you the yellow light?”
“The yellow light?”
Seamus’s smile wobbled. “It’s kind of like the green light, only slower.”
Yancy’s eyes started to smolder. “Yellow is my new favorite color.”
Seamus burst out laughing. That was one of the things he adored about Yancy. The man made him laugh. “I want to see where this goes, Yancy. I just need to take it slow. I need to be sure.”
“Sure of me?” Yancy asked slowly.
“No, I need to be sure of me.” Seamus wanted to say more, but he didn’t want to hurt Yancy’s feelings. He could easily see himself with a man like Yancy. But he was terrified he wouldn’t be able to give his whole heart to Yancy when he still had feelings for John.
And that wasn’t fair to any of them.
Yancy’s smoky-gray eyes darkened for a moment, the emotion in them unrecognizable, but then he smiled, and even if that smile didn’t reach his eyes, it was there. “Okay, Seamus. We’ll take this as slow as you need. If I start to move too fast, you just let me know and I’ll back off.”
Seamus felt bereft when Yancy stood up and moved back to his chair. He watched the man as he began eating, his heart sinking when Yancy avoided looking at him. Seamus’s stomach began to cramp with apprehension.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
Seamus suddenly lost his appetite. He pushed his food around on his plate, taking a small bite every now and then as he tried to look like he was eating when he could barely swallow. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything.
Seamus blinked rapidly to keep his tears of frustration at bay. Despite the amount of food still on his plate, Seamus picked it up and carried it into the kitchen. He scraped the food off into the trashcan then rinsed his plate and put it in the dishwasher.
He needed some air.
“I have a few errands to run this morning while you sleep,” he said as he turned to look at Yancy, trying to keep his tone neutral when he felt like his heart was crumbling in his chest. “Is there anything you need me to pick up for you while I’m out?”
“No, I’m good.”
Yes, of course he was. Yancy was always good. The man was more self-assured than anyone Seamus had ever met in his life. He didn’t seem to need anything. Seamus was even beginning to wonder if Yancy would ever need him.
Sure, the man seemed to like it when Seamus had food waiting on the table when he came home from work. And he liked having his laundry and house cleaned for him. But did he actually
need
Seamus?
Or was it just convenience?
“I’m going to head out then.” Seamus raised a hand to settle it on Yancy’s shoulder as he started to walk past the man. He wanted to touch Yancy, to maybe get a kiss before he left, but he was too afraid to ask.
Instead, Seamus clenched his hand and continued walking.
His heart sank when he reached the front door without a word from the other man. He grabbed his jacket out of the closet and pulled it on. He opened the door, pausing once again to see if there was any sign from Yancy that the guy wanted him to stay.
After a few moments of absolutely nothing, Seamus’s shoulders slumped, and he walked out the front door, closing it quietly behind him. He shoved his hands into his pockets and started walking down the sidewalk, not really caring where he was heading.
He had a lot to think about and a lot to consider. Even with his developing feelings for Yancy, Seamus knew he still cared about John. His feelings for the sheriff could almost be considered a crush. Except for some heated looks and that one fantastic earth-shattering kiss, there had never been anything else between them that would normally tell two people that they had a future together.
Yancy seemed to want Seamus—sort of. He had at least expressed an interest in getting to know Seamus better and maybe building on the attraction between the two of them. That was better than what he had with John.
Seamus didn’t exactly know what he had with John, or even if he had anything. He knew he didn’t like being ignored, and that seemed to be all John had been doing since the kiss, despite the man’s words that they needed to talk after everything was over.
They hadn’t talked, and now Seamus could only wonder if John had wanted to talk to him to tell him that the kiss meant nothing to him, that Seamus shouldn’t read anything into it. That it had just been a kiss caused by the heat of the moment.
He could say the same about the incident in the shower except that Yancy had stated that he wanted more than just friendship with Seamus, unless Seamus said no, and then Yancy would remain his friend.
But he had stated his desire for more.
That had to mean something.
Seamus still felt a little like a convenience. He couldn’t help but wonder if Yancy would have been that enthusiastic about them exploring things between them if they weren’t living in the same apartment together. Close quarters sometimes changed how people thought about things.
Seamus stopped off at the Crab Shack and ordered a Coke to go. He’d rather have a margarita, but it was probably a little early in the morning to start drinking. Which was a good thing or he’d be riproaring drunk right about now.
He was so confused that he didn’t know whether to wind his balls and scratch his watch or wind his watch and scratch his balls. Seamus sat down on a bench just off the boardwalk and dropped his head into his hand.
There just didn’t seem to be an easy answer.
Seamus knew he had feelings for John. He knew he had feelings for Yancy. John said they would talk after the kiss, and then they didn’t. Now, the man seemed to do his level best to avoid Seamus as much as possible. Yancy, who seemed to be interested, was here and wanting more.
Maybe the answer was just that simple.
Seamus could continue to follow his feelings for a man that didn’t want him or go after the other man he had feelings for, the one that wanted more.
Seamus wasn’t sure he would ever get over his feelings for John, but he also wasn’t sure exactly what his feelings were. He knew he liked the guy—a lot. He could easily see himself falling in love with John given the right incentive.
But the same could be said for Yancy.
Seamus blew out a deep breath and leaned back against the hard wooden bench back. He stared out, not really seeing anything, just thinking. His head was starting to hurt with the way it was swirling.
He slid the cell phone out of his pocket and stared at the keypad. Maybe he needed a second opinion, although he wasn’t sure which one of his brothers to talk to. He knew he didn’t want to discuss his love life with his folks.
Seamus dialed Elijah. He might not be a blood brother, but he had been adopted by the whole Blaecleah clan when he married Ruben. That was close enough. Besides, Elijah knew Yancy better than Seamus did, and he also knew John, although probably not as well.
“Elijah James, Attorney at Law,” said a female voice. “How may I help you?”
“Hey, Mrs. Bozeman, this is Seamus Blaecleah. Is Elijah in the office yet?”
“It’s almost nine o’clock in the morning, Mr. Blaecleah. Of course he is.” Sandy Bozeman’s light laughter filtered through the phone. “Someone has to work to pay the bills around here.”
Seamus chuckled. “I thought that was you?”
“It is, but the coffee machine is in Mr. James’s office, and he has the keys, so he has to be here.”
Seamus started laughing. He was still laughing when Elijah came on the line, and considering what he needed to talk to the attorney about, that wasn’t such a bad thing.
“Hey, Seamus, how’s it going?”
At least someone seemed happy to hear from him.
“Hey, Elijah, do you have a few minutes?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
Seamus rubbed his hand over his face then stared down at the ground. “Tell me about Yancy.”
“Yancy?” Elijah sounded
almost
surprised—almost. “What would you like to know?”
“Well, the first thing you can tell me is why you were expecting my phone call.”
Elijah chuckled. “Because I saw the way Yancy looked at you when he was at the ranch. Granted, when he saw your interest in the sheriff, he stepped back, but I figured since you left Cade Creek, you were no longer interested. I suspect that Yancy is thinking the same thing and he’s made a play for you.” There was a pause for a moment, a heavy silence that made Seamus nervous. “Was I wrong?”
“Not exactly.”
“Tell me what’s going on, Seamus.”
Seamus sighed and leaned back again, staring out over the green grass in front of him. “That day when Janice attacked, John kissed me. He told me we would talk later. I thought he meant we would talk after all of the chaos was over, but he’s avoided me since then. I kind of got fed up with being avoided like the plague, so I left.”
“And you went to stay with Yancy, right?”
“Yeah. I’ve been staying with Yancy for about a week now.”
“Is there a problem?”
“Yancy has been flirting with me since the day I met him. He—”
Elijah laughed. “Yancy does like to flirt.”
Seamus frowned, not sure that was a recommendation. He didn’t want to get involved with a man that he needed to be worried about. “Does he always flirt?” Seamus asked, holding his breath. This entire conversation might be moot depending on what Elijah said. “Is that something I need to be concerned about?”
“That’s just his way, Seamus. Yancy isn’t the type of guy to fool around if he’s involved.”
Seamus blew out the breath he had been holding. “Okay.”
“Good okay or bad okay?”
“You know, Elijah.” Seamus laughed roughly. “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be calling you.”
“Fair enough,” Elijah replied. “So, what can I tell you about Yancy?”
“Is he a good bet?”
“Is he a good bet?” Surprise heightened Elijah’s voice as he repeated Seamus’s words.
“Yeah, I mean, if I was to give him the green light, would I be making the biggest mistake of my life or what?”
“As a friend, he’s great. But I’ve never had a love interest in him, Seamus. I can’t give you any information on that front. That will be totally up to you. As I’ve told you, though, Yancy won’t cheat.”
Seamus wanted to growl at Elijah. The man hadn’t helped one damn bit. Not in the way Seamus was looking for. Maybe he was looking for answers that only Yancy could give him? Should he give Yancy a chance or leave things on a friendship level?
He obviously had a serious decision to make.
“Thanks, Elijah.”
“Seamus?”
“Yeah?”
“Go with your heart.”
Seamus groaned as he closed his phone and shoved it back into his pocket. That hadn’t helped. If he went with his heart, Seamus would still be in Cade Creek except he’d have Yancy at his side as well as John.
What to do, what to do?
He knew he needed to make a decision because he couldn’t lead Yancy on. The man was too sweet, too nice for Seamus to play games with the guy. Seamus wasn’t trying to play games. And he wasn’t foolish enough to deny the growing attraction he had toward Yancy. But part of him was still back home with the sheriff.
Seamus was just as confused as he had been when he called Elijah.
He knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer. He needed to go back and talk with Yancy. If he examined the pros and cons of his situation, Yancy was his best bet. Not only was the man here, he was stating outright that he wanted Seamus.
John was doing neither of those things. Hell, the man would barely talk to him. No relationship could last if it was one-sided. There was no guarantee that his relationship with Yancy would last either, but at least it had a better start.
With resolve in his mind, and an ache in his heart at the idea of giving John up, Seamus headed back to the apartment.
And Yancy.