Authors: Johanna Lindsey
Chapter Fifty
J
udith saw Nathan the moment he entered the ballroom only because her eyes kept venturing
in that direction, hoping he would. But when he did, it took her a moment to believe
it. Dressed in black evening attire tailored to perfection, blond hair queued back
for the occasion, he fit right in as if he belonged here. Well, didn’t he? He had
the credentials to be here, but how had he finagled an invitation? He must have one,
she supposed, to have gotten through the door.
As if she cared how he’d managed it. He was here! Her heart was already racing with
anticipation. He’d come to his senses, finally. He’d come to find her. But to do it
this boldly? When he could have just come to her home? He would have been let in.
Every day since she’d been back, she’d warned the butler to expect him, then had dealt
with the disappointment when he didn’t show up.
Their eyes met across the room, but she couldn’t hold the look because she was still
dancing with Hadley. But the moment the music ended, she hurried back to her mother
to make herself available for Nathan to approach her. Her father was conspicuously
absent. Thankfully! But then she noted Anthony on the edge of the room. He’d gone
to join forces with James. Those two had better
not
chase Nathan off, not tonight. Tonight was going to be magical now, the veritable
highlight of her Season, of her life, for that matter. Nathan would make it so.
Roslynn wasn’t alone. The two beaux Judith hadn’t danced with yet were still waiting
for her, and two others had joined them, one she knew, one she didn’t. Three of them
asked to have the next dance, which she promptly declined. Yet they didn’t leave!
Roslynn whispered to her, “I suggested they find other partners while they wait for
a turn on the floor with you, but I think their feet have grown roots.”
Judith was flattered, but right now it was quite vexing. Would Nathan even come forward
with so many lords presently vying for her attention? She couldn’t see where he’d
gone.
But then Roslynn said in an even lower tone, “Perhaps you are thirsty? Lady Spencer
has laid out extensive refreshments to suit everyone’s tastes.”
Judith guessed, “You saw him?”
“Your father confirmed your Mr. Tremayne is here, yes.” Roslynn added with a grin,
“I’ll hold down the fort and tender your excuses.”
Judith beamed a smile at her mother and started toward the other side of the room.
But she’d barely gone ten feet before she saw Nathan dancing by with someone else.
She stopped as it dawned on her that he might not be here to see her at all. This
could merely be his introduction to high society, a means to an end, since he intended
to take his guardianship of his nieces more seriously. Just planning ahead for the
connections he would need when his nieces came of age? Or was he just making sure
that Anthony would leave him alone if he devoted his attention elsewhere for the moment?
Or worse, making sure that
she
knew he was done with her. But in any case, she didn’t like his tactics, not one
little bit.
She returned to her beaux and said to the newcomer, “We haven’t met. Shall we rectify
that with a dance?”
He didn’t decline, even though he hadn’t asked her for one when he’d had the chance.
“I’m Robert Mactear,” he said once he began to waltz with her. “I was just paying
my respects tae yer muther. She’s vera good friends wi’ mine.”
She heard no more than the name, which sounded familiar, for her eyes and attention
were elsewhere. Nathan passed within a few feet of her. The pretty chit he was dancing
with was talking his ear off. He appeared raptly interested in her every word.
“She had a handful o’ invitations sent tae me long afore this Season started. I ken
she had high hopes for us.”
Judith blinked. “You and I?”
Had her mother
really
looked for another Scotsman when Ian Cullen got snatched up by another debutante?
But this would have been while Judith was in America—before her mother knew about
Nathan.
“Aye,” Robert confirmed it. “I had tae return tae London on business, so I thought
I should let yer muther know I’m already taken, well, as soon as my lass says yes
tae me.”
She might have laughed. Roslynn was simply
not
destined to be a matchmaker. But she grouched instead, “So am I, though
my
lad appears to want to ignore me tonight.”
“In that case, ye might want tae laugh and pretend yer flirting wi’ me? Just tae nudge
him a wee bit. I know from experience how bluidy well that works.”
She did laugh. “You’re a good sport, Robert.”
A while later Jack found her and asked, “What the devil is
he
doing here?”
“Causing a stir,” Judith said. “The ladies can’t take their eyes off him, if you haven’t
noticed.”
Jack peered at her. “You’ve obviously noticed. Why don’t you just tell him how you
feel?”
“That’s not how it’s done.”
Jack’s brows shot together. “You’re joking, right? That’s how
we
do it.”
No, that might be what Jack would do, but Judith wasn’t nearly that bold. She wished
she were, though, and visited the refreshment tables a few times to see if that might
give her more courage, but it didn’t. It did allow her to flirt outrageously with
her beaux though, per Robert’s suggestion, but that didn’t help either. Nathan didn’t
notice because he was too busy dancing with every debutante but her. Bloody blighter,
he was going to take his anger to the grave?
But when she saw him heading for the exit, she actually ran across the room to stop
him. “You’re leaving? Really? Without a bloody word to me?”
He turned. “Yes. This is your world, darlin’. Not mine.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, but it was coming back, that pain in her chest,
constricting her heart, squeezing. Yet, he seemed to be waiting for her to say
something
, but all she could do was stare at him, at his handsome face that she hadn’t seen
for nearly a month, the bruise on his cheek that was barely discernible, but
she
noticed it, the tight line of his lips, his stiff jaw, and the intense emotion in
his eyes. Hot or cold? She couldn’t tell!
But the only words she managed were “What’s that bruise from?”
“Unfinished business finally put to rest.”
“And is that your only unfin—?”
The question died off. He’d walked away and right out of the ballroom! Oh, God, why
did she flirt so hard with the other men? Had he just given up because of it?
She got through the rest of the night. More champagne helped, perhaps too much champagne
because she was aware of being a little foxed when she found herself in bed and didn’t
even remember the ride home.
But she went right to sleep that night. She was sure she was still foxed when she
heard
his
voice, felt
his
hand on her cheek, a touch that healed all her wounds. But of course she wasn’t sleeping.
Now she was wide-awake. “How did you get in here?”
“Through your window.” He was still caressing her cheek. Like their kitten, she felt
the need to lean toward his hand and tilted her head slightly so she could. “It’s
not the first time I’ve stood below it.”
That surprised her. “But how could you know which was mine?”
“Earlier this week I found one of your kitchen maids out back and convinced her that
I wanted to throw pebbles at your window to get your attention. She was happy to point
it out to me. She thought I was one of your many swains trying to impress you with
a private serenade.”
The idea of him singing to her made her giggle. “You wouldn’t have.”
Enough moonlight was in the room that she could see his smile. “No, I wouldn’t.”
“You could have just come to the front door.”
“Knowing your father, I couldn’t. But I threw some pebbles tonight, so many of them
I was afraid the glass would break. You just didn’t hear them.”
Damned champagne—no, she was glad the noise didn’t wake her, glad that he must have
found the ladder leaning against the apple tree in their garden. But why did he? What
little he’d said at the ball suggested she’d never see him again, certainly not like
this
.
“What are you doing here?” she asked breathlessly.
“Tell me you didn’t expect me.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Deep down, you did.”
She didn’t correct him again, yet he’d assumed something that wasn’t so, while she’d
been crushed by his seeming indifference tonight, sure he was still angry. Had they
both fallen prey to false assumptions? When mere actions could speak much louder,
as his were doing right now?
But remembering that hurt, she said, “We should have spoken at the ball, at least,
more’n we did.”
“I thought we would. I even thought we would dance. But when I got there, I was a
bit stunned by how beautiful you looked—and how perfectly you fit in that glittering
room. And I was afraid I would kiss you, right there in front of everyone, if we—”
She sat up immediately to kiss him, cutting off his words. It’s what she’d wanted
to do from the moment she’d heard his voice. He’d been at the ball, for her. He’d
come here tonight for her. She didn’t need to hear another word. But she needed to
feel again what only he could make her feel. She’d longed for this, cried for this,
for him. She ought to take him to task for that, but not now when he was showing her
the depth of his feeling, crushing her to his chest, devouring her lips.
So when he pushed her back to her pillow, she could have cried, until she heard, “Give
me a moment, darlin’, please. I don’t want to hurt you, but you can’t imagine how
much I want you.”
She understood. She could have said the same thing. But she didn’t want a moment.
“Take a deep, calming breath if you must, just do it quickly,” she insisted,
demanded
.
He laughed shakily, saying, “That worked, your silly humor.”
It was no time to tell him she wasn’t joking. But he stood up and shrugged out of
his evening jacket, then took off his cravat and shirt. She kicked her covers away
so she could kneel on the side of the bed in front of him. Within close reach of him,
she slid her hands over his bare skin. So fascinating to all her senses. He had such
a magnificent body, perfectly proportioned, big, lean, rock hard. Just looking at
him had always affected her on a primal level she never quite understood. But right
now, he was the flame and she was the moth, finding him a lure that was impossible
to resist, and her body was on fire for him.
He was undressing quickly, yet not fast enough for her. Her nails scraped over his
nipples, not intentionally, yet she heard the groan. Arrested, she wasn’t sure what
she’d just done to him, caused him pain or pleasure? But she tossed off her loose
nightgown to find out and scraped her own nipple to feel what he’d just felt . . .
oh, God!
He said it aloud, “Oh, God,” as he tumbled her backward on the bed.
They rolled together. She laughed and ending up beneath him, gave him a brilliant
smile. He appeared transfixed by it. She was caught by his eyes and the wealth of
feeling in them. He loved her! She wished he’d say so, but she was content just seeing
it. His lips were gentle on her now, her face, her shoulders, her neck. His love for
her was in every touch. Even when he entered her a while later, it was with such tender
care. They were like two pieces of a whole that were meant to rejoin, fitting together
perfectly.
The ecstasy arrived for her first and rather quickly. She hoped it wouldn’t always
be so, because reaching that pinnacle was half the pleasure. Perhaps she could persuade
him to make love to her again. But the champagne caught up with her as she finished
the thought and nodded off.
“I want to marry you—if I can have you without your family.” Nathan was only half
joking, yet she didn’t respond. “Judy?”
He sighed when he realized she was already asleep. Or pretending to be, and that would
be his answer, wouldn’t it? No, he was done with doubts, had experienced far too many
when it came to her. He dressed, kissed her brow, and slipped out the way he’d come
in. It was her turn now. If she wanted him in her life, she knew where she could find
him to let him know.
Chapter Fifty-One
J
udith woke with a smile and a nasty headache. The headache went away as the morning
progressed; the smile stayed. It had been a magical night, just not at the ball. It
would be nice if she could remember it in more detail, but her joy was still overflowing.
She ought to caution herself that she’d felt this way before after the first time
Nathan and she had made love, but she didn’t. This was different. This time she was
sure Nathan loved her.
Jacqueline showed up midmorning instead of staying home to receive her own callers,
which wasn’t unusual. Jack didn’t have the patience for
all
the formalities of a Season. But she still couldn’t escape all of her beaux. Having
been told where she’d gone, some of them followed her to Judith’s house, so the parlor
on Park Lane was quite crowded today. Which was why it took so long for Jack to find
a moment alone with Judith.
When she did, Jack observed, “You seem quite chipper today, though I have to admit
that
was
a splendid ball, wasn’t it?”
“No, but it was a splendid night.”
“I thought you went home angry?”
Judith didn’t reply to that, grinning excitedly instead. “I’ve made a decision. You
were right. I should have told Nathan long ago how I feel about him and I will, just
as soon as I see him again.”
“He barely said two words to you last night. D’you really think that’s going to happen?”
“Yes, for the simple reason that he made quite an impression last night on the
ton
. He’s no doubt on everyone’s lips this morning.”
Jack glanced over her shoulder, then nodded with a snort. “He’s definitely on
their
lips.”
“So every hostess is going to want to include him now.”
“They might want to, but no one will know where to send invitations!”
“But I do.” Judith grinned. “And I’ll make sure they do.”
“You’re going to break our pact to wait, aren’t you?” Jack said with a sour look.
Judith hugged her tightly. “I have to. You will, too, once you feel this way. It’s
the most glorious thing, Jack, really it is.”
“Just so you know, if he hurts you again, I’ll do the same to him.”
Judith laughed. “So will I!”
She canceled her engagement for that afternoon so she could go through all of her
own invitations and jot brief notes to each hostess. She gave his address in care
of Derek, so she sent her cousin a note, too, to deliver them to the ruin. She even
added the postscript “It will be repaired soon!”
Of course Nathan might not go straight to Hampshire. He might be staying somewhere
in town until he could declare his intentions to her. But in that case he’d finagle
his own invitations, just as he’d done last night. So she did expect to see him again,
and soon. The only thing she didn’t expect was for him to call on her on Park Lane.
He’d made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want to run into her father. But he could
come through the window again. . . .
Her confidence started to wane by the end of the week. She didn’t get despondent,
though. She got determined instead. She confided in Jack about what she was going
to do. Jack merely cautioned her not to go alone. So they found her parents in the
dining room that morning, and just in time. Anthony had just stood up to leave. His
habit was to escape the house before the callers arrived.
“Sit down, please,” Judith requested. “And don’t worry, the house is now officially
back to normal.”
“Did a few months fly by without my noticing?” Anthony said drily as he resumed his
seat.
Judith might have laughed at his quip if she weren’t putting the cart before the horse,
as it were. “No, but I am henceforth declining all callers, well, except—no, he won’t,
and we know
why
he—” Before she got any more tongue-tied, she declared firmly, “I’ve canceled all
my engagements, too. The Season is over for me.”
Roslynn might have had some warning, but she still exclaimed, “Judy! It’s barely begun!”
“But there’s no point, Mama, when I already know who I’m going to marry.”
Judith was looking at her father as she said it. He didn’t ask her who, merely said,
“I don’t suppose he intends to ask my permission first?”
“And risk a resounding no?”
“But has he even asked you yet?”
“No, but he will, just as soon as I get to Hampshire. Will you take me?”
He didn’t answer. He looked at Jack and asked, “Are you responsible for the courage
in her words?”
Jack grinned cheekily. “No, actually, I just wanted to watch.”
Anthony snorted. “Minx.”
He didn’t look angry, and it was usually quite easy to tell when he was. Judith still
held her breath as he stood up and came over to put his hands on her shoulders.
“Is he who you really want, poppet?”
“More than anything.”
“That’s quite a lot. And since I’ve already had my brow beaten quite enough lately,
I suppose I should summon the coach.”
She gave a delighted cry and hugged him, but he wasn’t quite done. “Of course, if
he should disappoint you, I’ll want to know why.”
At least her father didn’t say he’d kill him. One hurdle down, the bigger one to go. . . .