Straightening Ali (28 page)

“
My bedroom is ethnic for my ethnic friend,” Benigno said. “I brought everything from India when I visited last year.”

“
It’s beautiful,” Ali said gawking at the splendor.

“
So, are you getting into the bed or are you just going to stand there,” Benigno asked getting into the bed.

“
I’m getting into the bed,” Ali said, and got in shyly.

“
Good night, pretty boy,” Benigno said, and without another word turned the light off.

“
Good night,” Ali said, putting his head onto the pillow and trying his best to get to sleep. He felt very uncomfortable lying in bed with Benigno and tried not to make a direct comparison to his wedding night. “What if he tries something,” Ali thought. Each time he was about to nod off, he jerked himself awake with fear of being molested by Benigno.

“
Go to sleep,” Ali heard Benigno whisper as if sensing his concern. “Nothing is going to happen, you silly boy.”

With those words, Ali felt all of his anxiety slip away and fell into a heavy and exhausted sleep. When he woke up, he found that he was cuddling Benigno. For some reason, he did not mind it. It felt comforting.

Ali cuddled him for a bit longer seeking comfort and warmth from him. His mind went back to the wedding day and then to Steve’s betrayal. “I am not going to cry,” he muttered to himself. “I have to stay strong. I will not cry.”

Ali dragged himself out of the bed quietly, trying not to wake Benigno in the process and went to the bathroom and showered. Finding his shaver in his suitcase, he shaved before getting dressed in a clean outfit from his suitcase.

Ali went back to the bedroom, but Benigno was no longer there. He went to the lounge and opened the door. Benigno was already there sitting at a small table on the balcony terrace drinking coffee.

“
Come join me,” he said noticing Ali. “Have some breakfast.”

Ali sat down enjoying the cold breeze that drifted across the balcony. He poured himself a glass of warm coffee. Staring hungrily at the plate of croissants, he helped himself to two. “Thank you,” he said to Benigno, biting into the croissant.

“
Thank you for sharing my bed with me, pretty boy,” Benigno said. “What are your plans for today? Would you like to spend the day with me?”

“
Benigno, I would love to, but I have to go back to England, today,” Ali said.

“
You don’t need to rush back, yet. You are welcome to stay here as long as you want. Treat my home like it is your own,” Benigno said.

“
I have to go back. I’ve got to try to sort out the mess that I’ve made of my life,” Ali said earnestly.

“
I understand,” Benigno said sadly. “You must promise me that you will stay in touch and visit me again once you have sorted your life out.”

“
I promise, Benigno. You are a wonderful friend. I am so glad that I’ve met you,” Ali said.

“
Is it okay to use your phone to check my flight time and to call one of my friends in England?” Ali asked.

“
Go ahead,” Benigno said generously.

Ali called the airline company first, confirmed his seat on a flight leaving in two hours time. Then he dialed Haseena’s telephone number and prayed that she was in.

“
Haseena, it’s me,” he said hearing her voice on the line. It was so nice to talk to her again.

“
Ali, I’ve been worried sick about you. I was expecting a call from you yesterday. Are you alright?” Haseena asked sounding worried.

“
I’m fine. I was right. Steve did not want me in Strasbourg with him. He’d already moved in with another man,” Ali said despondently.

“
Oh my god. Are you alright, Ali?” Haseena cried down the line.

“
I’m fine, Haseena. I’m trying not to think about it. I’m coming back to England,” Ali told her.

“
You can’t, Ali. Your family has been harassing everyone to discover your whereabouts. I’ve heard that they’ve even hired a private detective to look for you,” Haseena said urgently.

“
Oh my god. What am I going to do? I can’t stay here,” Ali said.

“
You can’t come back to Birmingham. You’re going to have to try and go somewhere else. Do you know anyone outside Birmingham whom you can stay with?” Haseena asked.

“
There’s a guy named Pete. He’s in Leicester, but I’ve not been in touch with him since I left university. I think I have his address in my address book,” Ali said

“
Okay, go to Leicester,” Haseena ordered. “What time is your flight getting in?”

“
It’s going to be about one o’clock in the afternoon,” Ali said.

“
Get the train from Birmingham to Leicester. It’s a direct one. I’ll meet you at the train station there. I’ll drive your car over and catch the train back,” Haseena said, planning everything meticulously.

“
What time are you going to meet me?” Ali said noticing that she’d omitted the most important detail.

“
Three o’clock. Don’t worry if you’re late. I’ll wait until you arrive,” Haseena assured him.

“
Thank you for being so good to me, Haseena,” Ali said.

“
You’re my friend, Ali. I’m here for you no matter what,” Haseena said. “I have to go. I’ve got the police at my door,” she said suddenly.

“
Oh my god. What do they want?” Ali asked.

“
I don’t know. I’d better answer the door. I’ll see you in Leicester, bye,” Haseena said hanging up.

Ali put the phone down feeling anxious and upset. Since he’d arrived at Benigno’s, it felt as if he’d been cocooned for a short time without having to deal with the turmoil engulfing his life. Reality was difficult to escape from, as Ali’s thoughts turned to returning to England.

“
Stay with me, Ali. Let me look after you. I can make you happy,” Benigno said seeing Ali’s gloomy face.

“
I’m sorry, Benigno, but I can’t. I need to sort things out in England. I promise I’ll visit you when I’ve sorted myself out,” Ali said, assuring his new friend again.

“
I shall miss you,” Benigno said embracing him in a warm hug.

“
I’ll miss you, too,” Ali said.

“
Come on, get ready,” Benigno said letting go of Ali. “I’ll drive you to the airport and wait with you,” he offered kindly.

“
Thank you,” Ali said gratefully. “I’ll just go and re-pack my things in my suitcase.” Ali hurried back to the bedroom and quickly packed his shaver and pajamas back into his suitcase, then met Benigno minutes later for his ride to the airport.

“
Oh, Ali, I’m so glad to see you,” Haseena said kissing him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Ali wrapped himself wordlessly around her petite form in a hug. He wanted to cry and tell her how he was feeling, but he knew that if he let go of the tight reins he’d put on his emotions his whole world might collapse around him. He needed to be strong and not think about things which he wasn’t yet ready to deal with.

The flight to Birmingham had been on time, but the train to Leicester had arrived over an hour late. Haseena had waited patiently for him by the ticket office, knowing he would turn up.

“
Let’s have a coffee,” Haseena said, taking her silent friend to the small coffee bar opposite the ticket office. She ordered two coffees while Ali found a table for them.

“
Here’s your coffee,” Haseena said, handing one of the two mugs that she was holding to him.

“
Thanks, Haseena,” Ali said, taking the coffee, sipping a mouthful and relishing the taste.

“
I’m sorry about Steve. I never realized he was such a bastard. How are you feeling?” she asked as she sat down on the chair opposite Ali. She stroked his hand gently as if that might take away some of the hurt. Anyone looking at the pair might have mistaken them for lovers if they’d not known that Ali was gay.

“
I’m trying not to think about it. I’m not ready to deal with it, yet,” Ali said “I’ve got too many other things to worry about at the moment.”

“
Oh, Ali, I’m so sorry,” Haseena said.

“
I’ll be fine, Haseena. Don’t worry about me,” Ali said to reassure her, although inwardly wondering if there was any truth in his words.

“
Okay. Let’s not talk about Steve. Do you think you’re ready to deal with a few letters?” she asked him.

“
What letters? From whom?” Ali asked curiously.

Haseena rummaged through her handbag and pulled out a small bundle of letters, which she handed to Ali. “These arrived for you at my house. I think it’s your family sending them, knowing that I’ll pass them on to you. The one on top arrived by recorded delivery, so I’d say that’s important. Open it first,” Haseena suggested.

Ali opened the letter, wondering what his family would say to him. He pulled out several bright green pieces of writing paper. A couple of white sheets of paper that had been stapled together also fell out from the same envelope onto the floor. Ali picked up the document and looked at the letter. At first, he didn’t recognize the handwriting and had no idea who might have sent it to him, but the identity of the author soon became clear as Ali began to read the letter.

“
You cheat. You bastard,

“
I’ve learned that you’re gay. That you’re a gandoo bastard. People who have known you for years have said that you had a partner, a MAN for over two years. You’ve deliberately betrayed us. Your family were shocked when I told them. They had to hear it from us that you’re a gay bastard. This information was so easy to find once we started looking. It seemed everyone knew.

“
If we had an idea or inkling before the marriage that you were such a dirty gay bastard I wouldn’t have let you get near my family, or my daughter. The whole of the Pakistani community from Birmingham, Nottingham, and the village in Pakistan condemn you and your satanic actions. None of them have heard of the type of action that you’ve taken.

“
You are in hiding now. You’re a rat!

“
This is your punishment from Allah. That you are a gandoo! You unbeliever! You forgot Islam, our religion, that’s why you’ve got this punishment in this world. It will be the same in the next world for you. A good Muslim would never do what you’ve done. They believe in Allah.

“
You’re an unbeliever, impatient and fled as you were gandoo. You thought to have a go with a marriage and left home because you were not a real man. You didn’t realize that you would hurt a respectable family.

“
When you come out of your rat hole we’ll find you. In this short space of time we have found out so much about you. It will be so easy to track you down and hurt you like you’ve hurt my family.

“
We gave back all the jewelry and gifts from you to your mother. It’s a great insult to us! We gave you a lot! Wasted a lot of money! Money that should be spent on the funeral of a big gandoo bastard like you!

“
If we ever find out you have come back home you will need to explain why you have destroyed my daughter’s life. To think that we welcomed you with open arms and put a garland round your neck. We should have wiped our dirty shoes on you and put shit round your neck.

“
There is a piece of paper enclosed. It is a Talak document, a divorce paper. Sign it three times you shit and post it back.

“
May god punish you! You’ve lost your culture, your respect, your dignity, and your identity. You unbeliever! You were brought up in a bad environment.”

“
What does it say?” Haseena asked seeing the pained expression on Ali’s face.

Ali handed the letter to Haseena. “Read it, yourself. I can’t bear to look at it again,” he said tearfully. “I’ve hurt so many people.” Reading the word “gandoo” felt like a physical assault. He remembered his dad using it in the past, but he’d never known what it had meant until now. “Maybe I am being punished by God. Maybe I am cursed,” Ali thought trying hard not to cry.

“
Are you okay, Ali?” Haseena asked. Having read the letter, she now understood why Ali’s face was so etched with pain.

“
I’m fine. I’m shocked that they’ve found out about me,” Ali said. “It means I can never go back.”

“
Were you considering going back?” Haseena asked in surprise.

“
No, not really,” Ali said lying.

“
Well, you’re lucky you left. What if they’d found out everything while you were there? What would you have done then? You’d better sign the Talak document. I’ll post it back to them in a couple of days,” Haseena said.