Straightening Ali (31 page)

Ali followed Andy’s written instructions and found the pub. It was next to some dilapidated old buildings that were in the process of being torn down to make way for a car park. Ali entered the pub nervously through the front door that was hidden behind some scaffolding. Inside, the pub was poorly lit, the curtains were drawn and the lights dimmed low, which gave it a nice atmosphere, but it was clear that it was also to conceal the faded décor and the drinks spilled on the carpeted floor.

In the corner by the bar, were several stacks of newspapers and magazines. Ali walked over and picked up something from each pile,
The Pink Paper
,
QX Magazine
, and
Bent
. They were all free publications for the gay community. Ali went up to the bar, walking past a table of middle-aged men in tight white t-shirts. They stared at him and whispered to each other, making Ali feel self-conscious. He blushed knowing that he didn’t fit in, especially not with his crumpled clothes.

“
What am I doing here? I should be trying to find somewhere to live,” Ali thought. He turned around having decided to leave the bar.

“
Hi, what would you like to drink?” he heard the barman ask.

“
Can I have a small lemonade and ice with a slice of lemon,” asked Ali, changing his mind and turning around to face the barman.

“
Yes of course, sweetheart,” the barman said and poured the lemonade into a large pint glass. He added ice and lemon and finished it off by putting a cocktail umbrella in the glass with a camp flourish. “I’ve poured you a large glass, sweetheart, but I’ll only charge you for a small.”

“
Thank you very much,” Ali said gratefully.

“
That’s okay, honey. That’ll be ninety pence,” he said sweetly with a pretty smile.

Ali carefully counted out the coins. He didn’t have much money left. In fact after buying the drink he knew that he had exactly twenty-three pounds and fifteen pence in his pocket.

He found a table that faced the door so that he could see Andy when he walked in and sipped the lemonade while flicking through the gay publications.

Turning though the pages of
QX,
Ali came across listings for escort services at the back of the magazine. There were pages and pages of adverts of men with photographs of themselves in swim shorts showing their torsos or completely naked, their faces blurred out. “Lots of people do it. It can’t be that bad,” Ali thought.

Ali heard the door open and glanced up as Andy walked in through the door. “So you came,” he said grinning cheerfully. He kissed Ali on the cheek and plonked himself down in the chair opposite.

“
I had nothing to lose, I suppose,” Ali said, trying not to sound glum.

“
Well, I’m glad you did. I’ve not been able to stop thinking about you. Let me get you a drink,” he said looking at Ali’s nearly empty glass.

“
I’ll just have another lemonade with ice,” Ali said.

“
Have something stronger,” Andy suggested. “Maybe a glass of white wine?”

“
No, I’ll stick to the lemonade, but could you get me a bag of peanuts and a packet of cheese and onion crisps please?” asked Ali hungrily.

“
They serve food here. Are you sure you don’t want a proper meal?” Andy asked.

“
No, I only want a snack,” Ali said. He would have loved to enjoy a proper meal, but didn’t want to feel indebted to anyone.

“
I’ll just be a few moments,” Andy said getting up. He gave Ali a slobbery kiss on the lips as if buying a small snack for Ali gave him permission to push the boundaries.

Ali watched him as he ordered at the bar. He tried his best not to feel nervous, but the butterflies in his stomach didn’t help. “What am I going to do?” he thought. He felt so nervous and sick with worry.

At the table next to the bar, Ali caught the eye of the group of middle-aged men staring at him. He blushed again and looked away hoping that they weren’t judging him.

“
Here you are,” Andy said returning to the table and handing Ali the drink and snacks.

“
Thank you,” said Ali, tearing into the packet of crisps and stuffing them into his mouth enthusiastically. It was the first bit of food to pass his lips since the previous night.

“
So who are you running away from?” Andy asked as he watched Ali eat.

“
I’m not running away from anyone,” Ali replied, between a mouthful of crisps.

“
Oh…” Andy murmured skeptically.

“
I’m just visiting Leicester,” Ali said, not wanting to reveal too much. “It’s a nice place to visit,” he added.

“
You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but you shouldn’t lie,” Andy said, not wishing to pry. “I do know you’re homeless; otherwise, why would you be freshening up in public toilets?”

Ali didn’t reply, not knowing how to deny the truth.

“
Listen. You don’t have to worry. All I want to do is help you,” Andy said earnestly.

“
That’s really kind of you,” Ali said.

“
Do you want to come back to mine?” Andy asked suddenly.

“
I’m not sure,” Ali said. He’d finished all the snacks and had stopped eating. He felt his stomach making worrying noises, and he stared nervously down at the glass of lemonade in front of him shamefully.

“
I’ll pay you a hundred pounds for the night. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” said Andy, cajoling him. “I want to have sex with you, and you need some money right now and a place to stay. This way we can help each other out.”

“
I don’t know…” Ali said unconvincingly, tempted by the offer.

“
It will cost you an hour of your time, and you’ll have earned yourself a bit of money for yourself,” Andy said persuasively. “If you don’t want to stay the night, you could leave straight away.”

“
I suppose it should be okay,” Ali said.

“
So are we going spend all day sitting in the pub or shall we go to mine,” Andy said getting up. “I live round the corner from here, above a nightclub I manage.”

Ali followed him silently out of the pub. He felt confused by his own actions. It was all happening so fast, but he let himself go along with it. A few weeks ago, he would have viewed anyone accepting money for sex from a moral high ground. “I still have some money. I don’t need to do this,” he thought just as Andy turned a corner. He considered making a run for it in the opposite direction, but his legs failed to follow through with the thought.

“
We’re here,” Andy announced as he unlocked a side door to the nightclub, and led Ali up a flight of stairs.

“
Welcome to my home,” Andy said opening the door to his apartment and inviting Ali inside. He shut the door behind and locked it shut.

Ali’s heart started racing. He felt trapped. His mouth felt dry, and he couldn’t stop shaking. He suddenly felt frightened.

“
So … here we are,” Andy said turning round to face Ali. He moved towards him and kissed Ali on his lips. Pushing Ali roughly against the door, he grabbed hold of Ali and kissed him again, attempting to thrust his tongue into Ali’s mouth this time. Ali kept his mouth tightly shut.

“
What’s wrong?” Andy asked crossly.

“
I’m really sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t,” Ali said shakily trying to push Andy away. “I don’t feel right doing this. I’m really sorry.”

“
What? You can’t do this you fucking prick,” Andy shouted. “We made a deal, so stick to it.” He pushed Ali violently against the door and attempted to pull his jeans down.

“
Leave me alone,” Ali cried, pulling himself out of Andy’s tight grip.

“
Look, you stupid bastard, it’s a bit too late to back out now. All you have to do is pretend to enjoy yourself, and afterwards I’ll pay you,” Andy screeched.

“
I’m really sorry I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. I want to leave, please,” Ali said trying to choke back his tears.

“
Just get your fucking clothes off,” Andy screamed at him.

“
I’m not doing this. I have to go. I didn’t mean to mess you about,” Ali said trying find an escape route. Andy stood in front of the door blocking his only exit.

“
You’re going to have to finish what you’ve started,” he said menacingly as he started to unzip himself.

“
Leave me alone. Let me leave,” Ali pleaded. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to.”

“
That will just make it more fun. I’ll pay you extra for that,” he said, coming at Ali with both hands stretched out. “This is so much more fun,” he gasped breathlessly.

“
Leave me alone,” Ali cried, but Andy tried to grip him in a headlock. Without a second thought Ali punched him hard in the stomach, making Andy double over with a loud howl of pain. Ali followed this with a kick in the general direction of Andy’s crotch.

“
You fucker,” Andy screamed in pain. “I’m going to hurt you so bad …” Ali didn’t wait for him to carry out his threat. He pushed past him, unlocked the door and raced down the flight of stairs. He opened the door to the outside and started running. He didn’t stop until he reached the safety of Granby Street.

He stood in a shop doorway gasping breathlessly. He shook from the adrenalin rush. He felt ashamed by what he had done and knowing that he’d been so foolish. “What is wrong with me?” he muttered angrily.

“
I have to go back home. I can’t live like this anymore. I’ve had enough. I’ll tell them that I had a breakdown and beg their forgiveness,” Ali muttered miserably as he wandered down the street in despair, heading back to where he had parked his car.

As he turned the corner to a side street, a large poster in a shop window caught his eye:

“
OPENDOOR LEICESTER – SUPPORT & ADVICE FOR YOUNG 16-25 YEAR OLDS. FREE ADVICE ON HOUSING, PREGNANCY, AND BENEFITS. CALL INSIDE.”

“
This is it!” Ali thought excitedly staring at the poster. He tried the door to the building, but it was locked. The lights in the window were off, and it seemed the place was shut. Ali spotted a doorbell hidden to the side of the building and started to press it desperately. Just as he was about to give up, he saw someone appear at the door. It was a young black woman. She frowned at Ali from behind the glass panel in the door, and unlocked it reluctantly.

“
What do you want?” she asked sternly, opening the door.

“
I saw the sign,” Ali said pointing at the sign in the window. “I need someone to give me some advice.”

“
We’re closed for lunch,” the woman said. “We’ll be open at two.”

“
I’m homeless. I need some help to find somewhere to stay,” Ali cried, tears coming to his eyes. “I’ve been to the Council, and they won’t see me for another three weeks. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“
Come back at two,” the woman said to Ali, her demeanor mellowing and becoming friendly. “I’m not allowed to let you in before then. We should be able to help you find somewhere.”

“
Thank you,” Ali cried gratefully. “Thank you very much.”

“
I’ll see you at two. My name’s Sheila. Ask for me when you come back,” she said smiling. She then shut the door, locked it behind her and disappeared back into the building.

Ali left the doorway filled with renewed hope, putting his decision to return home on hold for the time being.

Ali tried the handle to the door and was pleased when it pushed open. He followed the arrows printed on sheets of A4 paper stuck on the walls that directed to the Opendoor office. The arrows led him down a flight of stairs and into the basement of the building. The stairs came to an end in front of a big door.

Ali knocked on the door and waited. When no one answered he pushed the door open and entered. The office was quite small with no visible windows and space for only two desks. It looked like any regular office with computers at both desks. A fax machine and a photocopier were situated in one corner.

A small wicker basket overflowing with loose condoms sat in the center of one of the desks with a hand written notice reading, “Play it safe – help yourself to free condoms.”

“
I’m here to see Sheila,” Ali said timidly to the woman sitting with her head down behind one of the computer screens.

The woman glanced up looking disturbed. “She’s popped out to the loo. Take a seat,” she said pointing to one of the chairs, and went back to the work she was doing on the computer.