Strawberry Sisters (17 page)

‘And do you?’

‘No! I didn’t really understand about CFS before because she didn’t tell me. She was always saying she was fine or pretending she was off school for something different. And
then, when I did find out, it took me a while to really understand what it means. In fact, I think I’m still working it out, but I want to help Lauren, I really do.’

‘Does her mother know this?’

‘No. But it doesn’t matter anyway.’ I looked at Suvi. I didn’t get why she was making a thing of this. She never cares what people think of her. She’s not at all
afraid of saying stuff that might make others not like her. ‘You’re not normally bothered by what people think,’ I said.

‘If people know all about you and they say, “I don’t like this,” that’s fine. But this woman doesn’t know about you. She misunderstands. She sees a cross girl
who likes to scowl and say rude things, but she doesn’t see the good Amelia.’

I didn’t know I had a good side. ‘What good Amelia?’

Suvi took a sip of tea. ‘Some people are naturally very sweet and caring and giving . . .’

‘That’s not me,’ I said.

Suvi smiled. ‘No, that is not you. But some people, even though they have a lot of angry, sad feelings, try to be a good person for their friends and family. Helping others is not the
easiest thing for you but you try very hard to do it.’

‘Do I?’

‘You cook for your tired mother. You try to stop the worries of little Ella. You even hold the baby for your wicked stepmother.’

I didn’t know Suvi had noticed any of that stuff.

‘And I think Lauren’s mother needs to know that you try to be a good friend to Lauren. Then she can decide if she likes you.’

‘But how can she know what sort of friend I am?’

‘You have to tell her.’

I couldn’t see that happening. She wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways for a start.

Suvi topped up my tea from the pot. ‘I’m glad you told me this and I know your father is happy that you two talked today; you don’t have to have problems all alone.’

‘Neither do you,’ I said.

‘What do you mean?’

I was very close to telling her outright that I could see she wasn’t managing with Kirsti but I thought that might upset her, so instead I said, ‘I think you’re tired. Kirsti
is . . . being difficult and maybe you could do with some help.’

Suvi seemed amused. ‘I think you’re changing this talk from you to me.’

‘You’ve already given me some good advice. I think you need some help.’

Suvi tucked her hair behind her ears. ‘Your father does help. He’s very good at settling Kirsti, but he has to get some sleep so he can go to work in the morning. He cannot go to
Kirsti each time she cries. Sometimes it must be me.’

‘Can’t he tell you what it is that he does to get her to sleep?’

Suvi pulled a face. ‘He’s good at the doing, but not so good at the explaining.’

‘I know who could help you. Someone who knows a lot about babies.’

‘Who’s that?’

‘My mum.’

Suvi nodded. ‘That’s true. All you girls were babies once.’

‘And she must have taught us how to sleep because we all do it now. Even Lucy. Although she does like to make traps in her bed, so when you’re doing something perfectly innocent
– like trying to steal her hot-water bottle – you have to watch out in case she’s left something spiky or a bit of old sandwich in there. Actually, I’m not sure that the
sandwich is part of the trap. I think she just likes to have snacks in her bed.’

‘Yes, she does.’ Suvi seemed to agree with this so strongly that I suspected that she might have found the remains of snacks in Lucy’s bed here.

‘Anyway, if you want help with babies, you should speak to my mum.’ I promise I was trying to be helpful with that suggestion. And maybe there was a tiny bit of me that wanted to see
if Suvi could take her own advice. Mum and Dad and Suvi all act like they’re very mature about the divorce and that they can still get along, but I wondered if Suvi would actually want to
listen to Mum telling her what to do.

Suvi was thinking. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘You’re completely right. Your mother is the best expert on children that I know. I’ll telephone her tomorrow.’ She took
her mug to the sink and rinsed it out. ‘Now we must go to bed and have some sleep before Kirsti wakes up again.’

We tiptoed upstairs and just as I was going into my room Suvi reached out and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

The last time Suvi tried to squeeze me was in the summer when I bent down in the kitchen to get some plates and I stood up and gashed my head on the corner of the cupboard door above that
someone had left open. I had to have six stitches. While we were at the hospital waiting for Mum and Dad to arrive, I might have been crying a tiny bit and Suvi tried to put her arm round me and I
shouted, ‘Don’t touch me!’

But I didn’t mind at all this time.

I’ll say one thing about Suvi: she doesn’t hang around. By the time I’d dragged myself out of bed on Sunday morning, she’d already had a long
conversation with my mum.

‘She was very helpful,’ Suvi said. ‘She gave me lots of ideas. For now, I’m taking Kirsti in the car to help her have her nap. Will you come with me?’

‘Er . . .’ Hanging out with Suvi wasn’t top of my list of things to do on a Sunday but I supposed I didn’t have a lot else to do. ‘OK.’

I polished off my toast, cleaned my teeth and got into the car. Kirsti was grizzling and I really hoped she wasn’t going to do that the entire time. But Mum obviously knew what she was
talking about because, as soon as the car started, Kirsti settled down and in minutes she was asleep.

Suvi was chatting away about getting a Christmas tree when I realised which road we were on. It was the one leading to Lauren’s. Then Suvi turned off and there we were: parked outside
Lauren’s house.

‘What are we doing here?’ I asked.

‘We agreed that you would talk to Lauren’s mother, yes?’

Actually, I distinctly remembered being careful not to specifically agree to Suvi’s plan. ‘I don’t know . . .’ I said.

‘You’re unhappy. You need to take action.’

I supposed that was true. ‘Did you tell Lauren’s mum I was coming?’ I asked.

‘No. This is for you to do.’

My heart sank. It obviously showed on my face because Suvi said, ‘I know it’s hard. There are many words I could say to this woman, but it’s important that you learn to do
these things for yourself. You girls, you’re like little birds; when you’re tiny like Kirsti and Lucy, then we can do everything for you, then, when you’re bigger, we take you to
the edge of the branch . . .’ She gestured out of the window at Lauren’s house. ‘And we push you off.’

I pulled a face. ‘What happens then?’

‘Then,’ she smiled, ‘you fly! All by yourself.’

Even though I wasn’t really into this whole comparing me to a bird thing, I understood what she was saying. I had to sort out this problem for myself.

I opened the car door.

‘Do you want me to wait for you?’ Suvi asked.

‘That’s OK,’ I said. ‘I can walk back. And Suvi?’

‘Yes?’

‘Thanks.’

Suvi looked back at Kirsti’s sleeping face.

‘Thank you too.’

Then I got out of the car and walked up to door and I couldn’t help wondering about all those baby birds being taught to fly by their parents. The idea of striking out from the tree and
soaring into the sky was all very nice, but what if I just landed with a splat on the pavement below?

Lauren’s mum looked slightly less annoyed than the last time I saw her, which I hoped was a good sign. She opened her mouth and I knew she was going to tell me that Lauren was asleep or
resting or busy with a secret date.

‘Hello, Mrs Anderson. I wondered if I could talk to you,’ I said, before she could get a word out. ‘Oh.’

That surprised her.

‘You’d better come in.’

She took me into the sitting room. The house seemed very still. I guessed that either Lauren was out or she was asleep.

‘Sit down.’

I perched on the edge of the sofa. ‘I wanted to say . . .’ I stopped. I wasn’t entirely sure what it was that I did want to say. ‘I’ve never meant to upset
Lauren,’ I said. ‘I didn’t completely understand about how sick she was before. Even after she told me she was ill, she didn’t tell me that much about her illness. She
doesn’t really like talking about it.’

I saw some recognition in her eyes. ‘Lauren is rather keen to downplay her symptoms.’

‘But now I’ve found out a bit more about CFS and I know that she gets tired easily and I promise you I’m keeping an eye on her.’

Lauren’s mum was still giving me her full attention without interrupting so I decided to press on.

‘And it might seem like we fall out all the time, but we honestly don’t. And, even when there is a bit of . . . drama, it always gets sorted out.’ As I was saying this, I
realised how much I meant it. I knew that whatever was going on with Josh, I wasn’t going to fall out with Lauren over it. ‘I never stop wanting to be friends with Lauren. She’s
my best friend.’

There was a pause. Lauren’s mum drew a hand across her face.

‘I think I owe you an apology, Amelia,’ she said slowly. ‘It’s been a difficult six months. When your child is ill, it’s always distressing, but this has been
particularly hard because, until recently, we had no idea what was wrong. I’ve tried to protect Lauren, and with Lauren’s father away so much I felt like I had to be very firm in that
respect, but I realise now that I’ve been rather harsh. You see, for a while I thought it was in her best interests for her to see much less of her friends. I deliberately tried to discourage
you from visiting and I’m sorry for that, Amelia.’

I could hardly believe that she was admitting her mistake.

‘I honestly thought I was doing the best thing for Lauren, but I appreciate now that she needs friends just as much as she needs her rest. She’s far happier on the days when she sees
you.’

I was really glad to hear that.

‘I was so desperate not to tire Lauren out that I resented anyone who required any of her energy. I’m sorry that I’ve been rude to you; all your visits and phone calls and
cards ought to have led me to see what a loyal friend you are.’ She’d been staring at the carpet all this time, but now she lifted her eyes to me. ‘Lauren needs you very much and
I do hope that I haven’t put you off coming round.’

Incredible. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting when I stepped through the door, but it definitely wasn’t this. ‘No,’ I said. ‘It hasn’t put me off at
all.’

‘But you do understand that sometimes she just might not be up to seeing you? And it’s no reflection on how she feels about you as a friend.’

I hadn’t really got that before. I’d thought that because Lauren had a diagnosis it meant she was going to get better quickly. But after everything I’d learnt yesterday I could
see much more clearly that Lauren’s illness wasn’t going to just disappear. ‘I understand that now.’

‘Mum!’ Lauren called from upstairs.

‘Sounds like she’s awake. Would you like to go up and see her?’

I could tell that she had to choke back adding on something like ‘ just for a little while’ so I said, ‘I promise I won’t stay long.’

Lauren was surprised to see me coming up the stairs. ‘I didn’t know you were coming round,’ she said.

‘Just thought I’d pop in and see you,’ I said.

We went into her bedroom and sat down, but I felt awkward. It was all very well deciding that I wasn’t going to fall out with Lauren about her seeing Josh, but it felt like there was a
secret sitting between us on the bed like a big hairy monster. At least it did to me. Lauren was beaming.

‘Guess what?’ she said in a low voice.

‘What?’

‘Yesterday I managed to persuade Mum that I was feeling OK enough to go to the post office on my own and who do you think I bumped into?’

Oh.
Ohhhhhhhhhh
. ‘Josh,’ I said. And I knew I was right.

‘Yes! I mean, literally I walked round the corner and he almost knocked me over on his bike and then he said sorry, and I said that’s all right and then we ended up sitting outside
KFC! Can you believe it?’

I felt like a terrible person. I don’t know why I’d assumed that Lauren was keeping all this a big secret. Maybe it was something to do with her not being entirely honest about her
illness, but I was really, really glad that I hadn’t launched into an attack on her and that I’d had the chance to see that she had clearly been dying to tell me her news.

‘Then what happened?’ I asked.

‘He asked why I wasn’t in maths.’

‘Whoooo!’ I said. ‘He’s obviously missed you.’

She blushed. ‘We actually had a really nice talk . . . and he asked me to go to Olivia’s New Year’s Eve party with him.’

My stomach clenched.

‘But I didn’t say yes.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I know you like him too and you’re way more important to me.’

It was so sweet that she’d said that, but, even though I felt kind of jealous, I knew that I couldn’t let her give up a date with Josh just for me. ‘You have to say yes,’
I said. ‘I honestly don’t mind.’ Even though I did a tiny bit.