Strawberry Wine (26 page)

Alli found it difficult to speak around the lump in her throat. All she could manage was another, “I’m sorry.” before breaking into hysterical sobs.

She leaned into him, clutching at his shirtfront. Alarmed, Jason tried to gently pry her hands lose. Failing, he settled for patting her back awkwardly like an uncomfortable camp councilor. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to hold her tightly and offer her what comfort he could. He could feel her hot breath puffing against his skin through his shirt. Her voice was muffled, and he couldn’t quite make out what she was saying in between sobs.

“Alli, sweethea-” he stopped himself from uttering the endearment. “Alli. Alli look at me.” Alli looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks, and rasped out, “I’m pregnant.”

It took a few seconds for her words to sink in. She watched as they registered in his brain, and his face drained of all color.

Jason felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. He sat there, dazed and shell shocked. Alli buried herself in his shirt again, and this time his arms wrapped warmly around her. He was numb. Someone was shaking. Was it Alli? Was it him?

“You’re sure?” He asked.

She sobbed a hot “yes” against his shirt. She sat up to face him again. “I took two tests, and they were both positive.”

Jason dabbed her tears with the sleeve of his shirt. “Okay, it’s okay. Shhh.”

“D-do you hate me?” She stuttered.

“Alli,” He sighed, pulling her onto his lap and tucking her under his chin, “I could never hate you. I hate
myself
right now, for putting you in this situation, but I don’t hate you.”

Alli had stopped sobbing, but her breath was still coming in stuttering hiccups. “I’m not exactly blameless here.”

Jason made a humorless “Humph” sound. “No, you’re not.” He agreed, “But let’s not split hairs.”

They sat like that for a while, neither of them saying anything, together, but each one examining their own thoughts.

Jason’s mind was a chaotic jumble. He examined his thoughts in a detached manner, noting that he must still be in shock. He was surprised and relieved to find a small part of himself that was not only open to this new revelation, but a bit excited as well. A baby. A new person. He was going to be a father. That was, of course, assuming Alli intended to keep it. Jason startled at the thought of abortion. Was Alli considering abortion? He could certainly see how an unintentionally pregnant seventeen year old might find abortion an attractive option.

At length, Jason shifted Alli’s weight on his lap and tried to think of a sensitive way to ask the question utmost in his mind.

“Alli?”

She lay limply against his chest. “Hmm?”

“I want you to know I’ll support your decision either way...”

She cut him off before he could finish, her words tumbling out in one breath. “I’m keeping him. I’m terrified, and confused, and I know it will be more work than I can even fathom right now, but he’s mine and yours, and that makes him perfect and I’m keeping him.”

She had straightened on his lap to look into his eyes as she spoke. He gently pulled her back against him again.

“This isn’t how I envisioned this happening, but under the circumstances...” He let his sentence trail off, not sure how to finish the thought. “Alli? I know you’re young, and... God, I’m a stumbling idiot! Alli? Do you want to get married?”

He was unprepared for her startled reaction. She gasped and looked at him. “God no! We can’t get married!”

Jason frowned in confusion, stung.

“Like I said, I know you’re only seventeen, but-”

“No, it’s not that. I would love to be with you Jason. Believe me, I would marry you tomorrow, even without a baby, but I can’t marry you now. We can’t tell anyone this baby is yours!”

“What?! Why the hell not?”

“My father. He’ll put you in jail! You’ll lose your job, and all those other things you said when you found out my age!”

“Alli, don’t be ridiculous. We have to tell them. I’m not letting you do this alone.”

“Please, Jason. Let me do this my way.” She pleaded. “You’ll be no good to anyone in jail. The shock of this news is going to be upsetting enough without them knowing the father is my
teacher
for God sakes.”

Jason cringed at the word ‘teacher’. He really did feel like the lowest class of sleaze. He couldn’t think of a more reprehensible person than one in a position of authority and trust that abused their power. That wasn’t exactly what had happened in this case, but the result was the same.

He rubbed his hands over his face and tousled his hair. “Fine.
For now
you may keep my role in this anonymous, but after they have a few days to adjust to the shock of the pregnancy, you have to tell them. I’ll tell them.”

Emiline pulled another canvass from the rack and handed it to Jason. “How many all together?” She asked.

“Fourteen.”

“So... three more then.” She pulled the next canvass from the rack. Jason set it against the wall next to the others. They were quite dramatic when they were laid out together like that. He put a few up on easels, and hung a few on the wall to try and get a feeling for how he should group them for the show.

“Wow,” Emily looked around at all the paintings. “It almost feels like we’re underwater or something.”

Jason’s siren series was admittedly a bit otherworldly. He felt a hint of embarrassment as he looked at them all out in the open together like this. He ha dn’t pulled them out in years, and never all at the same time before.

“Did she sit for these, or did you do them from memory?”

Jason didn’t need to ask to whom Emiline was referring. The sirens had clearly been modeled after Alli. They all had her face, her supple body - well, the top half anyway. Jason hadn’t made them mermaids, but he felt sirens needed some element of the sea about them. Most were from a perspective that didn’t show their lower halves. He had focused on their piercing eyes, and putting movement in their hair which gave them a distinct underwater-like effect. Two of the paintings showed the siren’s full body; one had the legs of an octopus, the other the sweeping cape of a sting ray. They were beautiful and lethal at the same time.

“It’s funny,” He mused as he took the last canvass from Emiline. “That she shows up out of the blue like that, just before we open this particular show.”

Emiline nodded. “As if summoned by the art.” They both snickered at her dramatic tone. “You know what I find funny? That you would wait so long to feature these. They really are incredible.” Emiline tilted a canvass to get a better look at a siren tangled in a fishing net.

“Yeah, well, these were more than just a series for me. I don’t think I was ready to deal with them until recently.”

“I can tell.” Emiline set the canvass gently against the wall. “That’s part of what makes them so amazing.”

It was getting a little too maudlin in the room for Emiline’s taste, so she perked up and got back to business. “Do you want me to start taking these down to the holding room?”

“No, just leave them for now. I’ll have Reggie move them down after the Urban Youth show.” Jason stepped out from the forrest of easels and headed toward Alli’s portrait. Greg was supposed to stop by for a look at it today, but it was fast approaching closing time and he hadn’t showed. “Are you guys almost finished down there?”

Emiline nodded and assured him everything in the gallery was ready for a grand show. “The caterers and party planner are scheduled to arrive at three. Doors open at six.”

“Excellent. It gets bigger every year.”

The tone of the front door opening sounded in the gallery. “I’ll go see who it is.” Emiline said, scurrying out the door and down the stairs.

“Alli. What a nice surprise.” Emiline greeted. “We were just talking about you. You’re going to love the portrait. It’s as amazing as the others...”

Alli smiled at Emiline.
There she goes again, alluding to the fact that she has seen me naked
. Alli
must
ask Jason about her old nude painting. It simply wouldn’t do to have that sucker floating around. Especially here, where Greg’s mother was a regular visitor. Alli could just imagine how
that
conversation would go.

“Jason’s up in the studio.” Emiline waved her toward the stairs. “I’ll uh... I’ll just lock up and be on my way. You’ll tell him I said ‘goodbye’?”

Alli nodded, thanking Emiline and wishing her a good night. The girl seemed a little preoccupied. Alli shrugged it off and ascended toward the studio.

“Knock knock.” Alli said at the studio door. Jason looked up from her portrait.

“Oh. Alli. I was expecting Greg.” Jason looked behind her, half expecting to see Greg in the hall.

“He couldn’t make it.” She said. “But he’ll be at the show tomorrow and he said he would just sneak up and see it then.”

“Right.” Jason hooked his thumbs into his belt loops, then took them back out again.

“Uh... Emiline wanted me to tell you she was leaving.”

“Oh? Okay.” Jason leaned against the work bench. He was feeling a little off. He felt like a nervous eighth grader at his first co-ed party.

Alli tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” She seemed a little hesitant to bring up whatever it was she wanted to talk about. Jason was immediately intrigued. He raised his brows in interest. “Hmm?”

“Well, I was wondering what ended up happening with...” Alli took a fortifying breath. “I was wondering what you did with my painting.”

Jason frowned in confusion and looked at Alli’s portrait sitting beside them.

“The
nude
.” She clarified.

Understanding lit his eyes. “Ah. Right.
That
painting.” Jason grabbed the back of his neck, massaging the tight muscles a bit before dropping his hand. “I burned that painting.”

Alli gasped. She stared at him in shocked silence for a moment. He watched as different emotions played across her face. Her lower lip began to tremble, and her eyes began to fill with familiar tears. Her voice was a hushed whisper when she spoke. “H-how you must hate me...” Her hand rose to cover her mouth, stifling a sob.

Jason grabbed her wrist, frowning with concern. “No Alli, you misunderstand. I
had
to destroy it. It was...” His face felt flushed and he struggled with finding the right words. Finally he decided to be blunt. “It was child pornography.”

Alli gasped again, this time letting out a teary, mildly hysterical laugh. “Oh, God.” She fizzed. “You’re right.”

He joined in her emotional laughing. She snuffled loudly and swiped at her tear stained cheeks. A pretty frown of concentration furrowed her brow. “Then I’m confused.”

“About what?” He asked.

“Emiline keeps referring to my painting... I assumed she meant that one...”

Realization dawned in Jason’s eyes. He was suddenly mortified and excited all at the same time. “She was most likely referring to the siren paintings...”

“The siren paintings?”

Alli followed his gaze to the corner of the studio by the racks. There were several easels set up with their backs toward Alli. She looked back at Jason, as if asking permission. He inclined his head, and Alli slowly made her way over to the easels.

Jason didn’t follow at first. He watched rapt as she disappeared behind the raised canvasses. When she remained silent, his curiosity got the best of him and he joined her by the art.

Alli was awestruck. She was staring at the paintings, slowly spinning, trying to take them all in.

“Sirens?” She was breathless. Each beautiful creature stared back at her with her face. The likeness didn’t end there. Their hair was done in various shades of blues, greens, and purples, but the cowlicks were Alli’s. The lips, some smiling beguilingly, some parted with desire, all were full; All were Alli’s. Even the breasts were familiar, and Alli felt herself blushing imagining Emiline studying the paintings, knowing them to be depictions of Alli.

“I don’t know what to say...”

Jason took her elbow, noting she looked a little unsteady on her feet. She turned to him. “They’re beautiful.”

He let out a breath, not having realized he’d been holding it all this time.

The siren tangled in the fishing net caught Alli’s attention. The creature’s thin arm thrust desperately through the mesh, reaching futilely out for help while being dragged away from the viewer. Alli’s tears started anew. “I looked for you!” She sobbed. “I tried so hard to find you! I never meant to leave you like that.”

Jason collected Alli into his arms. “Shhh.” He crooned. “Alli, don’t cry.”

Sobs continued to wrack her body. She blubbered on, telling him everything - the deal she had made with her father, her failed attempts to find him, the excitement she had felt the day she’d seen his mural in the café. When she started trying to explain the mess she’d made of things with Greg, Jason took her face in his hands and held her still.

All he could do was shake his head. He didn’t have any words. What did one say at a moment like this? They stood that way for what seemed an eternity, breathing each other’s breath, strung tight like bow strings. Then, unable to hold back any longer, Jason lowered his lips to Alli’s.