Stray Hearts (20 page)

Kay couldn’t imagine anyone suggesting anything improper about Mr. Breckenridge’s behavior under
any
circumstances. She sighed. It looked as if she was going to at least make it possible for them to try.

“So you don’t mind being gossiped about?” she asked.

“At my age, Ms. Ramsey, I’d consider it a compliment.”

Kay gave him a tiny smile. “Of course, Mr. Breckenridge. I’d be happy to go with you.”

“Wonderful. It’s at the Fairmont Hotel. Cocktails at six-thirty, ceremony at seven. Semiformal.” He leaned closer and dropped his voice. “And when you choose what you’re going to wear, young lady, please remember—I have a pacemaker.”

He rose from the chair and went back to his office. Kay felt a warm glow at the thought of doing something to help Mr. Breckenridge after all he’d done for her. But watch Matt accept that grant? How was she ever going to deal with that?

On Saturday night at six forty-five, Matt stood at the mirror in the men’s room of the Fairmont Hotel, yanking at his tie. No matter how many times he tied the damned thing, the knot was still crooked. What kind of sadist had invented these things? Even when they weren’t choking you, they were hanging there crooked, waiting to pick up a good gust of wind so they could slap you in the face. And who really needed a silk spaghetti-sauce magnet, anyway?

Finally he stopped messing with the tie, placed his hands on the edges of the sink and bowed his head, letting out a long breath of frustration. It wasn’t the tie that was the problem. It was that he was here in the first place.
That
was the problem.

Slowly he looked up and stared into the mirror, and he didn’t particularly like the guy looking back. He hated himself for what he’d done to Kay. She would never forgive him. Some wounds went too deep to repair, and this was one of them. She was gone now and nothing was going to bring her back.

He couldn’t help but recognize the irony of it. He’d denied his feelings for Kay partly because he was afraid she’d desert him just as his ex-wife had. Yet he was the one to blame for driving her away.

He couldn’t forget her look of betrayal as she’d walked out of his house for the last time. Or the look of regret on Hazel’s face when he’d told her Kay was gone. Or, for that matter, the pitiful look on Buddy’s face as he held that Frisbee in his teeth and wondered where his favorite playmate was. The moment she’d left, it was as if every corner of the house suddenly turned cold and the four walls echoed with emptiness. Without Kay to bring the old house to life, it was nothing but an empty shell. And so was he.

At least he could save the shelter. It had been his dream since he was a kid, and he couldn’t let it go now.

Then he thought about other dreams. Adult dreams. A wife, a family...

No.

He closed his eyes, willing those thoughts away. He’d made a decision, and there was nothing he could do to change it now.

Matt checked his watch. Ten to seven. In just a few minutes he was going to gain twenty-five thousand dollars and lose his self-respect. And the only thing he was thankful for was that Kay wouldn’t be there to see it.

When Kay stepped inside the hotel ballroom, she was astonished at the size of the crowd. At least two hundred suits and cocktail dresses flowed around dozens of linen-draped tables aglow with candlelight. Up front sat a small, portable stage with a podium in the center. To her great relief, she didn’t see Matt.

She’d already decided that if she happened to meet his eyes, she’d just turn away. And when he got up to receive the grant, she’d just pretend he was someone else. Someone who ran an animal shelter that needed money. Someone who hadn’t made a deal with her slimy ex-fiancé behind her back. Someone who hadn’t broken her heart.

But at least for Mr. Breckenridge’s sake, Kay was glad she’d come. And in talking with people, she discovered that the general consensus seemed to be that there was no more deserving grant recipient than Dr. Matt Forester. Either they’d read Matt’s application and knew what a wonderful place the shelter really was, or Robert had done one hell of a sales job.

“Kay! What a surprise!”

Kay spun around. Robert was standing behind her wearing a big, phony smile, and she felt an instantaneous rush of loathing.

He sidled up next to her. “What brings you here tonight?”

Mr. Breckenridge moved up beside Kay. “I do, Mr. Hollinger. Do you have any objection to that?”

“Why, of course not! Kay has been a volunteer at the shelter. Of course she’d want to see Dr. Forester receive the grant.” He turned to her with a snide little grin. “Isn’t that right, Kay?”

Kay just stared at him, remaining calm, refraining from wrapping her hands around his neck. 

“I’d like to meet our guest of honor,” Mr. Breckenridge said. “Is he here yet?”

Robert checked his watch. “Uh...I’m sure he’s arrived.” He glanced around the ballroom, looking a little nervous. “I just haven’t spotted him yet.”

Kay felt a rush of hope. Could Matt have decided to stay home after all? To forego the grant? Was it possible...?

“Ah!” Robert said, looking toward the door. “There he is.”

Kay glanced around to see Matt standing at the door of the ballroom, wearing a dark gray suit, blue shirt, and silk tie. He looked even more handsome than she remembered, and she felt a rush of longing so powerful it hurt. What had ever made her think she could do this? What had made her think she could see Matt again and not have the pain of his betrayal cut through her like a knife?

“There’s a table up front for you and Kay,” Robert told Mr. Breckenridge. “I’ll bring Dr. Forester over.” Kay’s heart beat wildly as Mr. Breckenridge escorted her to the table Robert indicated. She wanted so badly to leave. She wanted to walk out of here and forget this night had ever happened. But what would Mr. Breckenridge think?

A minute later Robert arrived with Matt, and it was clear he was every bit as shaken to see Kay as she was to see him. Then he turned to Robert, his surprise becoming an accusatory stare.

“Don’t thank
me,”
Robert told Matt, as if his discovery of Kay at the ceremony was something to be celebrated. “I had nothing to do with it. It was Mr. Breckenridge here who had the foresight to bring Kay along. There’s nothing like having one of your volunteers here to see you receive this award, is there?”

Mr. Breckenridge extended his hand to Matt. “Hello, Dr. Forester. I’m Albert Breckenridge, president of the Dorland Group. I’m delighted your shelter is receiving this grant. Ms. Ramsey has told me what a wonderful service you’re providing the community.”

Matt’s shook his hand. “Uh...thank you. I appreciate that.”

Robert glanced at his watch, then gave Matt a congenial grin. “Well, Dr. Forester. Looks like it’s show time. Mr. Breckenridge will give some opening remarks, and then I’ll go up to introduce you.”

Mr. Breckenridge pulled out a chair for Kay. Matt took his seat beside her, looking at the table, at his watch, at the chandelier overhead—clearly focusing on anything to avoid looking at her.

Mr. Breckenridge welcomed the crowd, then talked about the Dorland Group and its history of philanthropy. Robert sat down across the table from Kay, his expression at least twice as smug as usual. She’d thought she already hated him to the greatest degree that was humanly possible, but tonight he’d swept her past that point by a mile.

Finally Mr. Breckenridge introduced Robert. He rose from his chair and went to the stage while Mr. Breckenridge returned to the table. And as Robert told the audience about this year’s recipient of the Dorland Grant, Matt’s attention was focused exclusively on the stage as if Kay weren’t sitting next to him at all. As if she meant nothing to him. But all the while his finger tap-tap-tapped against the tabletop in a nervous rhythm.

“And now I’d like to introduce the man who’s behind the Westwood Animal Shelter, a man who you all will agree is a worthy recipient of this year’s Dorland Grant— Dr. Matt Forester.”

The applause began, but instead of rising to his feet, Matt turned around and looked at Kay. His sudden attention startled her, but as she stared into those dark, mesmerizing eyes that had caught her attention from the first moment she saw him, all at once she instinctively knew his thoughts were the same as hers. He was thinking about the wonderful life they’d built together in such a short time, and about how two people who never should have fallen in love fell in love, anyway. But was he also thinking, as she was, that it was just too precious a thing to lose?

Then he touched her hand, and for a few sizzling seconds she had this wild idea that he was going to change his mind. He’d reconsidered taking the money. He was going to lean toward her, wrap his arms around her and—

“No,” he said abruptly, looking away. “I can’t do this.”

Before the applause had even died down, he pulled his hand away from hers, rose from his chair and headed toward the stage.

Chapter 14

I can’t do this.

As Matt’s words echoed over and over in Kay’s mind, tears welled up in her eyes, hot and insistent. How could she have thought Matt might change his mind? He was there for one purpose tonight, and one purpose only. Didn’t she know by now what was most important to him? Didn’t she
know
it wasn’t her?

I can’t do this.

What he couldn’t do was love her more than the shelter.

The applause that brought Matt to the stage faded away, and he stepped up to the microphone. Kay felt as if she’d stepped outside her body and was watching every terrible moment unfold in excruciating slow motion.

“First of all,” he told the crowd, “let me tell you how much I appreciate being chosen for this honor. Your group has a remarkable history of providing aid to organizations that couldn’t continue to exist without your help.”

Kay was dying inside. Little by little, she felt her life draining away.

“I’m proud of what we’ve done at the shelter. It’s become an asset to this community. A place where helpless, homeless animals can get a chance at a decent life. A place where animal lovers can find a pet to make their lives a little brighter.”

Matt paused, looking out over the crowd, as if gathering his thoughts.

“I started the shelter because of a vow I made as a child, and it came to be an obsession. For the past two years I’ve lived my life for it, struggling to keep it alive and growing. It was the most important thing in my life, and I can truthfully tell you that there’s nothing I wouldn’t have done to make sure the doors stayed open.” He paused again, and a faint smile appeared on his lips. “Until now.”

His gaze fell squarely on Kay, his expression intense and unwavering. She stared back at him, dumbfounded. What was he saying?

“I’ve come to realize that living in the past has put me in danger of destroying my chance at happiness in the future. See, I’ve found something I love even more than the shelter. And I have Robert Hollinger to thank for that.”

There was a moment when Kay’s brain didn’t quite catch up to Matt’s meaning, and when it finally did, tears of joy sprang to her eyes. She couldn’t believe it. The hundreds of people in the audience might not know it, but Matt had just said he loved her—more than the shelter.

And that meant more than anything.

“I know you’re not going to understand this,” Matt told the audience, “and I’m not going to try to explain it. But as generous as this grant is, and as much as I appreciate being chosen to receive it, I’m afraid I can’t accept it.”

For a moment, Kay couldn’t breathe. Right before her eyes, the man she knew, the sweet, sexy, wonderful man she thought was lost to her forever, had suddenly reappeared.

I can’t do this.

Why hadn’t she heard what he’d really been saying? What he couldn’t do was take the money if it meant losing her.

People started murmuring among themselves, and soon a crescendo of protests arose. Matt ignored all of it. He left the stage and walked toward the table where Kay sat.

Robert gaped at Matt, his expression thunderstruck. Kay could tell his conniving little mind had never believed that anyone would think that she was more important than money. For probably the first time in his life, he was speechless.

Without missing a beat, Matt took Kay by the hand and pulled her to her feet, barely giving her a chance to excuse herself to Mr. Breckenridge. He led her out of the ballroom and headed for the lobby of the hotel, moving so quickly that Kay had to trot to keep up. He continued past the front desk, and without saying a word, he pulled Kay around the corner, tucked her head in the crook of his arm and kissed her—a deep, hard, insistent kiss that made her forget the grant, forget this evening, forget her own name. All she could remember was the words he’d spoken on stage, and how much she loved him for saying them.

Slowly Matt eased away and took her face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Kay. I never should have made that deal with Robert. It was wrong.
I
was wrong.”

“Matt—”

“Just listen to me, okay?” His hands tightened against her face. “I can’t live without you. I can live without the shelter, but I can’t live without you. I love you, Kay, and I’m not letting anything get in the way of that ever again.”

Kay stared at him, tears clouding her eyes. She couldn’t believe it. He wanted her, not the money. And he wanted her forever.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen with the shelter, but it doesn’t matter. You’re what matters. I miss you. Hazel misses you. Chester misses you. And Buddy... Good
Lord,
if that dog brings me that Frisbee one more time with that look on his face—’’

“I love you too, Matt.”

Matt stopped in mid-sentence. Then one of his heart-stopping smiles spread across his face, and he dropped a gentle kiss against her forehead. “Thank God. Can we go home now?”

“Not so fast, Forester.”

Matt and Kay spun around to find Robert staring at them, his eyes tight little slits of anger. “You can’t just walk out of here. You have to take that money!”