Stray Hearts (16 page)

As Matt hung up the phone, panic started to set in. An awards ceremony? Two hundred people? The press, for God’s sake?

When he thought of the measures he might have to take to keep Hollinger’s involvement from Kay, it just about made him sick. Could he tell her the truth? Maybe now she would understand.

Oh, hell. Who was he kidding? After what had happened with Rambo today, her disgust with Hollinger had reached an all-time high. He pictured the look of betrayal that would spring to Kay’s face if she found out what an underhanded deal he’d made with Hollinger, and he just couldn’t bear it.

One way or another, he had to find a way to pick up that grant money without Kay finding out the real reason he was getting it.

Several days later, Kay sprawled on her bed, staring down at the checkbook calendar she held. A couple of months ago she’d circled the third Friday in September in red, looking forward to the day she’d be through at the shelter and Robert would be out of her life for good.

She slapped the calendar shut and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. As badly as she’d wanted to get the hundred hours over with in the beginning, that’s how badly she now wanted them never to end. The thought of leaving Matt was unbearable.

Marilyn leaped from the windowsill and jumped up on the bed beside Kay. She stroked her absentmindedly, and the cat collapsed beside her, her purr reverberating through the silence of the room.

“Okay, Marilyn. You’re a woman. And you’ve known him longer than I have. What am I doing wrong here?”

Marilyn turned to her with the arrogant expression of a feline sex goddess who could wiggle one paw and every tomcat within ten miles would come rushing to her side.
He’s just one man,
those green eyes said,
and human at that. So what’s the problem?

“Great,” Kay muttered. “Even the cat thinks I’m pitiful.”

Ever since the day Robert had showed up at the shelter, Kay had held on to a tiny thread of hope that something might happen between her and Matt, something to bring back the warmth she’d felt as he touched her cheek and smiled at her and told her that her family was worthless but she wasn’t. But nothing had. While Matt was still sweet and wonderful and the best company she’d ever had, the invisible wall remained between them. And it looked as if it would stay there forever.

She heard Matt’s voice calling to her up the back stairs, telling her dinner was ready. She rose with a heavy sigh and trudged downstairs. Matt pulled a pair of chicken pot pies out of the oven and they sat down to eat.

“Well,” Kay said, struggling for nonchalance, “I guess I have only a few more hours left to work at the shelter.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think I’ll go apartment hunting on Saturday.”

“Don’t hurry. You can stay here as long as you need to.”

How about forever?

She knew he was just being nice, and she had no intention of prolonging the inevitable. The longer she stayed, the harder it would be to leave. And what if she stayed a few weeks longer, or maybe a month, and then one day Matt started to date someone? How could she deal with that? How could she sit by and watch some other woman have the man she wanted more than anything?

No. A clean break. It was the only way.

“It’s okay,” she told him. “I have the money for an apartment deposit. I'll move out as soon as I find an apartment.”

He nodded silently, and she wanted to cry. All Matt was losing was a roommate. Kay was losing the man she loved.

Chapter 11

The next morning at work, Kay walked around in a daze, and it wasn’t long until her state of mind translated to paper cuts and misrouted emails  and, right now, a spilled cup of coffee. As she stood in the kitchenette, pulling a wad of paper towels off the roll, she hoped Mr. Breckenridge wouldn’t come wandering in and realize just how much of a klutz she’d become.

She swiped at the puddle of coffee on the counter, vowing to keep her mind on her work instead of on Matt. The woman she was filling in for would be coming back in a week, taking back the job Kay had actually grown to like. She intended to do the best job she could until then, hoping at least to get some kind of reference from Mr. Breckenridge that might help her find a permanent job after she left.

“Ms. Ramsey?”

Kay spun around, tucking the coffee-soaked paper towels behind her back. Mr. Breckenridge was standing behind her.

“Yes, sir?”

“May 1 see you for a moment, please?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Kay didn’t miss the ominous tone in his voice and wondered what was up. She followed him into his office. He motioned for her to close the door and sit down, his expression grim.

“Robert Hollinger. I understand you worked for him.” A rush of foreboding overwhelmed her. She’d assumed because she’d lasted several weeks there that Robert didn’t know where she worked. But it looked as if he’d finally tracked her down.

“Yes, sir,” she said. “I did.”

“I spoke with him this morning. I must say he had some rather interesting things to say about your suitability as an employee. He told me—”

“You don’t have to say it, Mr. Breckenridge,” Kay said, feeling the reference she’d hoped for fly right out the window. “I know exactly how he feels about me.”

“Then I’d like to hear what you have to say about him.”

Had she heard him right? No one had ever talked to Robert and then wanted to hear
her
opinion on the matter. But here was Mr. Breckenridge, settling back in his chair, his fingers steepled in front of him, waiting for her reply.

A wave of hopelessness overtook her. What was the point of trying to defend herself? Kay knew whatever she said, she couldn’t possibly counter whatever rotten things Robert had already told Breckenridge about her. Robert had finally succeeded in forcing her to rock-bottom with nowhere else to go.

Then all at once her hopelessness was swept away by a wave of anger. If she let Robert continue to get away with this, she’d never work another day as long as she lived.

“Of course, Mr. Breckenridge. I’d be happy to tell you exactly what I think of Mr. Hollinger.” She squared her shoulders, then met her boss’s gaze head-on.

“Robert Hollinger is a manipulative, spiteful, self-centered man who lies as easily as he ties his shoes. Professionally, he’s after the bottom line and doesn’t give a damn whether justice is served or not. The longer I knew him, the more I realized there wasn’t a kind, respectful, or considerate bone in his body. All in all, I’d say he’s pretty rotten excuse for a human being.”

Kay folded her arms across her chest, still fixing her gaze squarely at Mr. Breckenridge. He raised his bushy eyebrows with a hint of surprise.

“Well. I see.” He took off his glasses and laid them on the desk in front of him. “I appreciate your clarifying that for me. I don’t know him well, but Mr. Hollinger’s firm is a member of the Dorland Group, so I’ve worked with him on various projects through the years. I’ve always had an odd feeling about him, though. A sense that he was, shall we say...disingenuous? And when I spoke to him today, those feelings only grew stronger.”

Kay stared at her boss with total disbelief.

“Under normal circumstances I’d be forced to take a reference at face value. But I’ve worked with you for quite some time now, Ms. Ramsey. And I must say that in that time, aside from your complete inability to make a decent pot of coffee, I haven’t noticed any of the negative aspects of your character Mr. Hollinger was so quick to point out.”

Kay sat in a daze, unable to believe that a man like Mr. Breckenridge would take her word over Robert’s. She felt a flush of pleasure that tickled her all the way to her toes.

“The reason I called you in here is to tell you that my assistant, the young lady you’re filling in for, phoned yesterday to tell me she prefers full-time motherhood to working here. I was hoping you’d agree to take over her position permanently.”

Kay stared at him, dumbfounded. A full-time job? Here?

Then before she could recover from the fact that Mr. Breckenridge had offered her a job, he mentioned a salary that was several thousand more than Robert had paid her, and she nearly fainted.

“Uh...yeah,” she said, still in a daze. Then she composed herself as much as her shocked state would allow. “I mean, yes, Mr. Breckenridge. I accept your offer.”

“See Ms. Hildebrand. She’ll handle the necessary paperwork.”

Mr. Breckenridge opened a folder in front of him and began to thumb through the papers it contained. Kay supposed that meant she was dismissed.

“Mr. Breckenridge?”

He looked up.

“I know what Robert must have said about me, and...” She paused, at a loss for words. “Thank you.”

He looked back down at the folder on his desk. “There’s no need to thank me. Hiring you is merely a good business decision.”

Kay smiled at the compliment, feeling an overwhelming urge to kiss Mr. Breckenridge smack-dab on top of his bald little head. Instead she left his office with the decorum befitting the assistant to one of the most prominent attorneys in the city.

She went back out to her desk and sat down, still in shock. And that’s when she had a stunning revelation. She actually liked being a legal assistant. She liked the professional atmosphere, the respect she got from her co-workers, and the challenge that accompanied every task she took on. She was good at it.

And to her complete delight, Mr. Breckenridge thought so, too.

When five o’clock rolled around and she was getting ready to leave for the day, she looked up to see Jason leaning against the doorway, a knowing smile on his face.

“I assume you took the job.”

Kay frowned. Apparently Mr. Breckenridge’s intent to offer her a job was a secret only to her. “Yes. I did.”

Jason eased toward her desk, wearing that look she’d grown so accustomed to in the past few weeks, as if he was going hunting and she was the prey. “I think this calls for a celebration, don’t you? I have a Jacquesson 1990 Blanc I’ve been wanting to try. Join me at my apartment at, say, seven o’clock?”

Kay assumed all those French words added up to a bottle of champagne, while all the rest of his words added up to a not-so-subtle proposition. And she didn’t want to deal with any of it.

She wanted to go home. She wanted to tell Matt about her new job. He’d give her a big hug, then toast her with a can of soda, telling her all the while how fortunate Mr. Breckenridge was that she’d accepted his job offer. Then maybe they’d rent a movie and spend the rest of the evening on the sofa together.

Three feet apart.

Matt’s gaze would be glued to the TV and her gaze glued to him. They’d snack a little, talk a little, laugh a little. And then...

And then nothing.

Kay almost cried at the hopelessness of it. Every imaginable door had opened between them, and Matt had refused to walk through any of them. He was sweet and sexy and one of the best friends she’d ever had. But they weren’t lovers, and the way things looked, they never would be. She didn’t know why Matt felt the way he did, but she did know one thing: it was time she stopped demeaning herself by desperately wanting a man who was never going to want her.

She sighed with resignation. Right now, the prospect of spending one more night alone with Matt that led to nothing was even more painful than the prospect of spending an evening with Jason, and that was saying a lot.

“Okay, Jason,” she said. “Pick me up at seven. Dinner at Rodolpho’s. No champagne, and I don’t even want to know where you live. Deal?”

A funny mix of emotions swam around on his face: elation that she’d finally agreed to go out with him, and annoyance that she was calling the shots. He looked left and right, then gave her a crooked smile. “Sure, sweetheart. Whatever you say.”

She wrote her address on a sticky note, gave it to Jason and told him she’d see him at eight. That would give her enough time to finish her work at the shelter, then get dressed for dinner.

As he walked out of her office, she closed her eyes, feeling as if her heart had crumbled into a hundred tiny pieces. From the day she’d moved in with Matt it had been pretty clear they’d never have a future together, but this was the first time she’d actually made herself believe it.

Matt got stuck at the clinic setting a golden retriever’s broken leg, so it was nearly six-thirty before he made it over to the shelter. When he came through the front door he found the reception desk deserted. He figured Hazel was out back having a quick cigarette, and Kay was probably in the Cat Room. He stopped for a moment and looked around, and all at once it struck him how different the shelter seemed than it had only a few months ago. Evidence of Kay was everywhere.

In the corner of the reception area sat a silk ficus tree she’d brought from her storage shed, a little worse for wear from dogs nosing it and cats batting at it, but definitely a nice addition. She’d organized and added to the bulletin board with photos of animals going home with their new families, most notably two half-bald cats wearing Kitty-Tees. Looking at the desk, he saw that files were actually put away, a coffee mug had become a pencil cup and even the mail had its own little basket beside the telephone. And despite the mild yet distinct animal aroma in the air, if he closed his eyes he swore he could smell her perfume.

He went into the kitchen to grab a drink, and as he was closing the refrigerator door, he noticed movement out the kitchen window. Stepping closer, he couldn’t believe what he saw.

In the long shadows of late afternoon, Kay stood in the backyard holding what looked like a brand-new hot-pink Frisbee in her hand. Chester sat at her feet. Matt watched as Kay showed the Frisbee to the dog, then backed away seven or eight paces. She tossed the Frisbee gently toward him. Chester leaped up with excitement as the disc approached, but in the end all he did was watch it fall to earth.

Kay picked up the Frisbee and showed it to Chester again, then tossed it, only to slump in frustration once more as both she and the dog watched it sail to the ground.