Streamline (7 page)

But Matt had stopped ignoring Leo at the conclusion of the meet.

“We’ve tried everything, Leo,” he said, taking Leo aside. “I’ve given you more rest. I’ve analyzed your stroke. I’ve entered you in other events. But nothing’s working, and you look miserable out there. I think you’ve lost your passion for swimming. Maybe it’s time to quit.” Leo had flinched. “I can’t quit, sir. I — I’ve been swimming all my life. Just give me another chance…I’ll do better.”

“The only thing I can think of to bring you out of this slump is to throw yourself into training,” Matt finally said, shaking his head. “When we get back to Pensacola, I want you to do another workout — at least three thousand. Work these bad swims out of your system and try to reconnect with the water.” Leo hesitated. He had planned to go out with Audrey when they returned — this was a rare moment of freedom without his father.

But he’d let Matt down countless times, and he needed to do what he asked.

Thus he found himself in the pool. His efficient stroke glided him through the water as he churned out endless laps. But the joy of propelling his body down the lane just wasn’t there anymore. Maybe he
had
lost his passion. At the moment he felt only worry about having enough pills for the week. It had been easier to visit Tony with Callous Stalker out of town, but his money was dwindling fast.

Driving the familiar route home from school, Leo’s mood was as dark as the night sky. He arrived home curious to find his house brightly lit. By this time of the evening his mom had typically retired to her bed with a book.

Waiting for him just inside the door was Jason, and Leo leaped into his brother’s arms. He’d rehearsed in his mind what would happen if he saw Jason again, and he’d planned to curse him for leaving him alone to deal with their father. But now Leo felt only relief at seeing the one other person who understood what it meant to be the son of CS.

Appearing surprised by the hug, Jason stepped back. “God, you’ve gotten tall.”

“And you’ve become buff.” Leo said, taking in his bulky brother.

“What’re you doing here, Jase? Where’ve you been?”

“Seattle. But I came back when I heard CS was out of town.”

“Isn’t it awesome? Maybe they can send him off to war soon. Too bad this president’s all into diplomacy instead of military solutions.” Jason shook his head. “You’re too smart for your own good.” Leo brushed past him, headed to the family room.

“Hold on — ” Jason began.

Leo stopped short when he saw his mother, coach, girlfriend, and an unfamiliar man sitting there, apparently waiting for him.

Feeling a wave of confusion and fear, Leo swiveled around. But Jason stopped him in his tracks.

“It’s okay. Just listen to what they have to say.”

“No!” Leo struggled against his brother’s hold. “Let me go!” Jason held steadfast.

After repeatedly pushing against the wall of muscle formerly known as his brother, Leo’s body eventually went limp. It was futile to resist. He slowly turned to face the group. He looked at Audrey, with her beautiful, frightened eyes. He suspected he knew the purpose of this gathering, and when the strange man stood and offered his hand, it confirmed his suspicions.

“You must be Leo,” he said with a friendly smile. “I’m Marcus Shale, and I’m an interventionist. Your brother asked me to be here today.”

The man was Black, like CS, but maybe taller and definitely heavier. Leo filled with fury as he looked at Jason, who stood watching with apparent apprehension.

“Leo, why don’t you sit next to Audrey?” Jason said.

His brother guided him to the loveseat, then took a seat next to his mother and Matt on the sofa.

“Leo?” Mr. Shale asked gently.

“Yes, sir.” Leo heard his voice crack, then felt Audrey’s fingers snake into his. He clutched her hand but couldn’t look her in the eye.

“I’ve met with your mom and brother today, and with your coach and girlfriend too when they arrived from the swim meet. These people here love you, son. They’ll say what they have to say, and then you’ll say what you have to say, and we’re done. Okay?”
Do I have a choice?
Leo sighed and nodded.

“Mary, how ’bout you go first?”

Leo’s mother unfolded a piece of notepaper, and her tears started falling before she read one word. “Leo,” she began. “I’m worried about your addiction to pain medication.”
Crap.
They knew.

Leo waited for fear to envelop him, but he felt strangely weightless and relieved. He didn’t have to pretend anymore.

He sensed Audrey watching him, and he slowly met her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She squeezed his hand.

His mother’s lip trembled. “I’m the sorry one, Leo. The pills…it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry I failed you.” Leo looked down, his heart thumping. How could she say this was her fault?
He
was the one who’d screwed up everything.

“Mary?” Mr. Shale said. “This isn’t about assigning blame.”

“I’m sorry.” She flushed deeply. “We talked about this. This is about Leo, not me.”

“Could you continue reading your letter?” His mother cleared her throat. “Leo, I’m sad you’ve avoided me.

You’ve been moody and unpredictable. I’m concerned your addiction’s hurting you in school and swimming.” Her voice had grown stronger as she read, and she now looked up at Leo. “Will you go to treatment today?” Fear jolted through him, which quickly morphed into suspicion.

“What do you mean,
treatment?”

“Your family would like you to go to a drug treatment center in town,” Mr. Shale answered. “The center will probably recommend a few days of detox, then an intensive outpatient program, so you can continue going to school.”

Leo felt panic swell in his gut. “What about swimming?”

“Your health’s way more important than swimming, Leo,” Matt said. “If we can work it out for you to keep swimming during treatment, we will. But you and I both know it’s pointless if you continue to abuse pills.”

Leo took all of this in. He typically wasn’t asked, he was ordered, and it felt bizarre to have the decision in his hands.

Wrestling with competing impulses — fight or give in — Leo looked at the people who cared about him. His eyes lingered on his brother, who knew Leo like nobody else, even though they’d been apart for years.

“Will you go to treatment?” Jason asked.

Leo swallowed hard.

Audrey squeezed his hand again. Her voice was shaky. “Please.

You haven’t been yourself, Leo. I…” She looked down. “I miss my boyfriend.”

Her wounded tone slayed him. Finally Leo looked at his mother.

“Yes, ma’am, I’ll go.”

The group collectively exhaled, and Leo glanced around. “So that’s it?”

Mr. Shale nodded. “Yep, that’s it. You can go pack a bag, and I’ll take you over to Still Waters Treatment Center right now. Do have any questions?”

“Wait. How’d you all find out?”

His mother glanced nervously at Jason.

“Tony,” Jason said. “I called him to…ah, well, make amends, actually, and he let it slip you’d been visiting him.” Leo scowled. “So you suddenly show up here after four years, just to lord it over me how screwed up my life is?”

“Hey,” Jason said. “I wanted to come for Mom’s birthday, but I got here early because I knew something was up when I talked to Tony.”

“What about
my
birthday?” Leo yelled. “What about my swim meets? You missed it all, Jase! You don’t even know Audrey!”

“I’m sorry,” Jason said. “I don’t expect you or Mom to forgive me for being gone so long.” His jaw clenched. “I didn’t return because I’m an alcoholic. I was
homeless
. So no, I’m not ‘lording it over’ you.

How’d you think I knew how to plan this intervention? It was because I’ve been through it too. I was lucky enough to have friends in Seattle intervene on my behalf. Marcus is a friend of a friend they set me up with here in town to help you.”

Leo sat silently, unable to think of anything to say.

“I won’t let you lose everything like I did, Leo. Without treatment, you’re headed to a life of homelessness and misery, just like me.” As he sorted through the whirlwind of emotions, Leo felt his hands begin to tremble. Time for a pill. Suddenly another thought added to their tremor. “CS will kill me if he finds out about this.” Jason nodded. “Marcus and I already talked about that. We’ll figure something out when Dad returns, okay? Don’t let him stop you from getting better, Leo.”

It was frightening to trust Jason, but Leo didn’t have much choice.

He gulped and turned toward the stairs.

Jason put out his arm, stopping him. “Before you start packing, give me the pills.”

Leo paused. “That’s not necessary.”

“Yeah, it is. Hand them over.”

The standoff seemed to last forever. Leo finally reached into his swim bag and pulled out a baggie. He practically threw it at his brother. “Are you satisfied now?”

“No. I want all of them.”

Sighing dramatically, Leo reached into his jeans pocket and produced three more pills. Jason took them and tilted his head to the stairs. “I already confiscated some pills from your room, but I’ll come with you now so you can show me all your hiding places.”

“You’re really an ass, you know that?” Leo said, starting up the stairs.

“Yep. But I’d rather be an ass to my living brother than a nice guy to my dead one.”

This was more awful than the worst flu of his life. Leo had sweated through his sheets, vomited four times, coughed incessantly, and felt overwhelming fatigue despite not being able to sleep at all. And that was just the first night of detox. He really wondered if he was going to make it.

After a nurse checked Leo’s vital signs, Mr. Shale stopped by. He sat in a chair near the bed.

“How’s it going, Leo?”

Leo clutched his stomach while lying in the fetal position. He stopped moaning long enough to look up. “Fine, sir.” Mr. Shale burst out laughing. “Fine, huh? You certainly don’t
look
fine, son. Let’s face it, your body’s going through complete hell, and you feel like crap.”

“Yep, I pretty much feel like doggie doo-doo.”

“That’s better. This is serious stuff, Leo. The active ingredient in Oxycontin is oxycodone, which affects your body just like high-grade heroin.”

“Heroin?” Leo’s eyes widened, then he lurched to the other side of the bed and retched into the garbage can. He wiped his sleeve over his mouth and groaned. “Shoot me now. My stomach’s killing me.” Mr. Shale rose, and even in his agony Leo flinched as the therapist’s hand, holding a tissue, approached his face.

Hesitating, Mr. Shale studied him for several long seconds. Finally he handed the tissue to Leo, who used it to blow his nose. They didn’t exchange a word.

“How long will this last?” Leo asked.

“Up to ten days, but Dr. Bright expects you to get through withdrawal more quickly since you’re so fit. You haven’t had any heart palpitations yet, which is a good sign — probably related to that strong swimmer’s heart you’ve got there.”

“This is far worse than any swim practice I’ve ever been through.” Leo battled a spastic coughing fit. “It’s even worse than the four-hundred-IM repeats we had to do the day Matt got mad at us for dogging it.”

Mr. Shale smiled. “Okay, I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded really impressive.”

“Sorry.” Leo managed a weak smile and wondered if he’d ever be able to swim again. “So, you think I can get better?”

“I do, Leo. I don’t know you very well, but from what I understand, you’re intelligent, caring, hard-working, and tough. That should help you with recovery.”

Leo blushed.

“But it won’t easy,” Mr. Shale added. “Are you willing to give recovery your best effort?”

“I’ll try.” He gave his sweetest smile. “You sure you don’t have any pills you can give me? I won’t tell anybody, I promise.”

“Good try. I’m afraid it’s short-term pain for long-term gain.

Athletes know all about that, right?” Leo nodded grimly. He felt another wave of nausea hit him, and he clutched his gut. Swiftly leaning over the edge of the bed, he dry-heaved, and tears welled up. He just wanted his mom to make it all better.

When the waves of nausea finally ended, Leo narrowed his eyes.

“I’m gonna
kill
my brother.”

It was surreal for Jason to walk the halls of Pensacola High School, which seemed to have shrunk during his absence. The confident twenty-two-year-old suddenly felt sixteen again: a great basketbal player and average student turned rebel after his mother’s accident, ticked off at the world.

With his mom in the hospital and his dad at work or at Leo’s swim meets, Jason had often found himself alone. Unsupervised, lonely, and reeling from the family trauma, he’d turned to alcohol.

His father had no idea how bad things had gotten until Jason showed up drunk one night after driving home. CS had gone ballistic, and when Jason mouthed off, his father had backhanded him, sending him reeling to the floor.

Jason hesitated outside Mr. Morrison’s door. He and his mother had formed a plan for getting Leo treatment without alerting CS, but Jason needed the assistant principal to allow Leo to rearrange his study hall to make it happen. He hoped Mr. Morrison had forgiven him for all the crap he’d pulled in high school.