Read Strength (Mark of Nexus #1) Online
Authors: Carrie Butler
“Take care of my girl, Ace,” she called over her shoulder, bumping the suite door back with her hip. “I’m leavin’ her to you.”
“Thanks, Gabby,” I whispered, moving to let Wallace step inside.
As soon as the door clicked shut, I drew a deep breath. Now what was I supposed to do? It was four thirty in the morning, and there was a half-naked man in my room. I wasn’t equipped to deal with these types of situations.
There was no need to turn the lights on. Moonlight poured in through the window, flooding the room in a cool, otherworldly glow—a glow that felt eerily reminiscent of my nightmare.
Our
nightmare.
It was clear we were still sharing them. There hadn’t been any need to explain the reasoning behind my actions; he’d already known. He must’ve watched himself die, too.
“So, have you noticed?” he began out of nowhere.
“Huh?” I jerked my head up. “Noticed what?”
“This.” He held up his right arm, forcing it into the light from the window.
What was he talking abou—
My breath caught in my throat.
A complex band, maybe an inch wide, encircled his forearm below the elbow. It was dark, like you’d find on someone who’d had tribal ink done, but there was a bizarre sheen to it. It was like oil on water—a myriad of colors twisting over the surface.
“A tattoo?”
“No.” He sucked in a deep breath and reached forward, hesitantly rolling up the short sleeve of my nightshirt. “The Mark of Nexus.”
“What’s that?” The soft cotton brushed against my skin, and I shivered in response, following his gaze. Colors raced over jagged lines in an iridescent film around my upper arm, glowing in an unearthly brand. I tried to clear my throat. “H-How?”
He ran a hand back through his hair, looking down. “I don’t know. I never thought…” He shook his head, a grim smile playing at his lips. “I didn’t think it was real.”
I felt dizzy, staring at the band on my arm. It was different than his but strikingly similar. In fact—I darted my eyes between them—mine was the exact inverse of his, like a negative image. I rubbed at my arm, hoping to smear the thick black lines.
No such luck.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, averting his eyes.
“Why would you be sorry?”
He was quiet for a moment, collecting himself. “Don’t freak out, okay?”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I shifted my weight, trying to remain calm. “Okay.”
“Grandma used to tell us all kinds of stories when we were kids. One of them was about markings revered as a sign of the rarest and most powerful of alliances—the Nexus.” Wallace paused. “A bond between someone of my bloodline and someone…like you.”
“Human?” I ventured, noting his obvious discomfort.
“Yeah.”
“So, whenever a human and a Dyn…Dyna…uh…?”
“Dynari.”
“Yeah, that,” I agreed, suppressing my nerves. “So, whenever those two joined forces, they’d wake up with ink, and that was supposed to mean something? And why is mine up here”—I pointed to my bicep, before gesturing to his forearm—“and yours down there?”
“Actually,” he said, letting out an uneasy breath as he moved to stand beside me. “I think they’re meant to line up.”
Sure enough, the dark bands met at perfect height—as if they’d coiled between us. “Oh.”
It was hard enough trying to absorb the fact that Wallace was some kind of supernatural being, now I had to believe he’d evoked something in me? The room started to tilt.
“I think we’re missing something,” he continued, taking a step back to look at me. “I mean, my parents and grandparents weren’t bonded, and they represented the union between our kinds. What’s different between us? We aren’t even…” He trailed off.
It took every ounce of my self-control to keep my emotions stable. If I allowed the anxiety to surface, even for a moment, he’d notice. And then what? He’d feel guilty and try to distance himself again. That wouldn’t help anything.
My brows knit as I thought it over. “Wait. Back the truck up. I thought people didn’t even know about you guys. How could this mark be revered by anyone?”
“Revered among my people. No outsiders know or, to my knowledge, have ever known about our bloodline specifically. They’ve mistakenly tied us into different legends and folklores over the years, but they’ve never truly known of our existence. Only the humans we’ve taken as mates.” He blew out a sigh. “Until now.”
“Your people,” I mumbled. “Why do you always act like we’re so different? Whether you care to admit it or not, human blood pumps through your veins, too.”
The question seemed to startle him. “Do you think I like being different? I’d gladly give all of these”—he clenched his fist—“
abilities
back, to live a life like yours.”
“Oh, yeah, because having superpowers must be so damn hard,” I heard myself say, rolling my eyes. It was a reflex. I hadn’t meant for it to come out, but it was the truth. “We should all be so unfortunate.”
“Do you realize how good you have it?” His eyes sparked aglow in the darkness, and I knew I’d crossed the line. “I hurt everyone I touch, Rena. Do you still not get that? I’ll never be able to show…
some woman
I love her. I’ll never be able to hold her and sleep with her at my side, because I’ll be scared to death of crushing her. I’ll never be a husband. I’ll never be a father.” He panted hard, his eyes boring into mine. “I didn’t ask for this. Any of it.”
I was paralyzed, overcome with his anger and frustration. The markings on my arm burned, and I realized what he was trying to say. He couldn’t reject the hand he’d been dealt. His blessing had become his curse.
“Do you understand why I apologized now?” he asked in a softer voice. “I honestly didn’t believe it could happen, but now that it has…” He pressed the heels of his palms against his temples as he began to pace in the dark. “We have to find a way to break it.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “How can I understand, when you still haven’t told me what this Nexus thing means?”
He eyed me from across the room. “It means we’re bound together. The closest form of intimacy two souls can share. It explains the dreams and why I’m so attuned to you over everyone else.”
“And why it feels like you project your emotions at me sometimes,” I added without thinking.
“What?”
“Remember?” I fidgeted, suddenly nervous that I’d imagined the whole thing. “When we were in the alley, I asked if you could project things. It was because I kept getting these little surges.”
When he didn’t answer right away, a flame caught my cheeks and I swallowed. “Never mind.”
He took a curious step forward. “Can you tell what I’m feeling right now?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s only when you’re really worked up about something. Forget I mentioned it.”
“Hey, don’t get embarrassed,” he said, lowering himself to the floor. “I believe you. I mean, it’s a two-way street, right?”
“You know, I hate it when you do that,” I grumbled, feeling naked under his perceptive stare. There was no hiding anything from this man. Not my emotions, my dreams, anything. Hey, that was a point. “Why don’t I ever share your dreams?”
“How do you know some of them aren’t mine?”
“Oh.” I hadn’t considered that.
Smoothing a hand down the front of my nightshirt, I sank down onto the floor, opposite of him. It hadn’t registered earlier that I wasn’t wearing pants, but I was hyperaware of it now. Though the oversized t-shirt stopped mid-thigh, it wouldn’t stop me from exposing myself if I sat the wrong way. What color were my panties again?
Hmm…purple. Definitely purple.
Nervous butterflies flitted about my stomach as I tucked my legs back and pulled the soft, cottony material of the nightshirt over my knees. “So, we’ve got this soul sync going on. Is that it? I mean, why are you so adamant about finding a way to break it? Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to get this tattoo off my arm, but it doesn’t seem all that dangerous.”
“It
is
dangerous,” he insisted, staring me down. “We can’t go on like this forever; we’ll get too attached.”
My heart constricted in the tight grasp of rejection, and I forced myself to hold his gaze. “Would that be so bad?”
His lips pressed together in a harsh line. “Didn’t you hear anything that I said? You don’t have a future with me.”
“And that’s for you to decide?” I shot back, hurt by his immediate refusal.
“Yes, actually, it is.” He crossed his arms over his chest in some kind of testosterone-driven sign of will.
I pursed my lips together as agitation swelled around my barrier. Was he serious with this macho, melodramatic shit? “You don’t even want to consider the possibility of…anything?”
“That’s what I said.”
Okay, I’d begun to fume a little. It wasn’t like I was nursing some kind of schoolgirl crush, and he’d hurt my feelings. He was keeping me at arm’s length because he decided he knew what
I
wanted. “I thought we agreed not to push each other away.”
“I’m not pushing you away,” he mumbled in a tired voice. “Look, I’m sorry if it hurts your feelings, but I don’t want a relationship with you. Not like that.”
Ouch.
“Are you sure that’s it?”
He gave a stiff nod. “Yeah.”
A feeling of discord tightened my chest, and I narrowed my eyes.
Liar
. I was going to make him admit it.
“Is it because I’m so fragile that you feel compelled to protect me?” I leaned forward, resting my weight on my hands. “Or do you just not have any feelings for me?”
“Rena,” he warned, clenching his jaw. “You know exactly what it is.”
“Yeah? Well, maybe I don’t agree with your logic.”
His dark brows drew together in obvious frustration. “You don’t have a choice.”
That was the last thing I heard, before I snapped.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I lunged, slamming into Wallace with my full body weight—not that I had much to work with. We tumbled back onto the floor, and he braced his arms at his sides. Just as I’d thought. The idiot had let me tackle him.
Hell, I’d known before I even moved that I didn’t have the strength to overpower him. So, what did I have to my advantage? Oh, that’s right. The fact that he refused to touch me.
I gripped his shoulders, straddling his bare chest as I leaned down. “I’m not as delicate as you think.”
He chose to say nothing, staring up at me with guarded blue eyes.
“I’m an adult,” I said, fixing him with a serious look. “I’m fully capable of making my own choices, and if I say that I don’t mind staying with you, then that’s my call. Not yours. Not anyone else’s.” I shook my head, my heart pounding in my chest. “You say that I push you away when you get too close? Give me a break. You’re doing the same damn thing.”
“Because you deserve more than this,” he said through gritted teeth. “So, drop it.”
“More than what?” I knew it was near five o’clock in the morning, and I was raising my voice, but I didn’t care. “My best friend? The man I care about so much it freakin’ scares me? Someone who’s kind and considerate and patient and…” Angry tears burned my eyes, and I looked away. “Ugh! You just have no idea what you’re talking about!”
The air sweltered between us as I gripped his shoulders even harder than before. Each of his panted breaths pulsed against the smooth skin of my inner thigh, and I felt my core tighten.
No. No more distractions...
“So, what?” His voice was tight as he lay there, his face fighting a thousand emotions. “You want to be a martyr?”
“That’s not fair,” I growled. “You would sacrifice your happiness to protect me, but I can’t sacrifice my supposed safety to make you happy? Where does that leave us?”
His grim smile was back in place as he humored my feeble efforts to keep him pinned. “Nowhere. You’re not sacrificing your safety.”
“And you’re not sacrificing our future!” I clenched a fist, realizing for the first time that being with him was an inevitability I needed. Something I wanted. Something I would fight for.
“Our future?” he repeated slowly, pain bracketing his eyes.
Vulnerability knotted my stomach as I looked at him. “Yeah.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, letting a deep sigh escape his lips. “It’ll change you.”
“What?”
“I can feel it,” he murmured, and lifted his eyes to meet mine. “This bond between us will change you.”
“T-That doesn’t matter to me.” I couldn’t keep my voice from trembling.
“Rena.” He breathed my name with such soft resignation, it made me ache. “Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. All I know is that I can’t let you be a part of it. It’s too dangerous. We need to find a way to break this tonight.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “You think you’re going to die.”
He shrugged his shoulder, and I felt the muscles contract and move beneath my grasp.
“You’re not going to die,” I assured him, moving to meet his gaze. “Whatever happens, you’re too str—”