STRINGS of COLOR (10 page)

A
s JK's alarm clock went off, his phone also began to ring. The noise from both of them caused him to sit straight up in his bed. He was too old for such excitement at the same time. He stared at the phone as if that would cause it to suddenly stop ringing.

To his surprise, it worked.

Looking out the window; he could hear the rain that was coming. He hated being old. He hated barely being able to breathe, and he hated that he was dying and still had not resolved all his life's shattering issues.

For over a month now, he had been trying to get up the nerve to go and see his daughter. The only one he should have ever been able to call his daughter.

JK grabbed his heart.

So much pain he had caused not just to her, to Naya, but even to himself.

His thoughts traveled to Jonathan and Simone. A sigh of relief swept over him as he remembered that they were really his grandchildren. And yet, even knowing that didn't hide the horror of what he had done and been responsible for.

He longed to see one of them and hated to see the other.

How sad my life has become
.
I know I deserve it, every bit of it, but still, I don't want to die knowing that no one in this world cares one lick about me.

JK felt something he hadn't felt in—well, years. Tears began falling down the side of his face. He didn't try to wipe them away.

Old men don't cry. Do they?
He thought about this question as he finally found the strength to pull back the covers and climb out of bed.

As he grabbed his cane he thought about Chris. He sat back down upon his bed. He had wanted to go and see him, but he knew Naya wouldn't have it. They hadn't spoken or seen each other since the night she found out that he was still alive.

I should never have listened to Chris, faked my death and lied to her for five years. But what could I do? I needed the money and a place to stay. Still, it cost me too much. If it hadn't of been for that guitar I gave her that night, I might have never seen her smile. What a mess this whole family is in!

Whose fault is it?
JK slowly raised his own hand. He watched as his cane hit the floor.

Man!

Just as he reached to pick it up, the phone began to ring again.

"Hello." He said in a rather frustrated voice.

"Is this Jonathan Kenneth Creek?"

"Yes, who is this?"

He didn't recognize the woman's voice.

"This is Felicia, Jonathan's wife."

JK let out a cough and grabbed his shirt. A sudden wave of fear took over him. He had met her only through the photographs delivered by a private investigator. He had never actually looked into the eyes of the woman who could put up with his grandson, Jonathan.

"I need to speak with you."

"Go ahead, I'm an old man. I wasn't going anywhere but to the bathroom."

"It's about Chris."

JK started to cough harder. He placed the phone on the bed and tried to catch his breath. He could hear her calling his name.

It took a few minutes but he finally placed the receiver back up to his ear.

"I'm here."

"I'm outside your gate. Can you let me in?"

JK's hands started to shake uncontrollably.

"Sure. Give me a few minutes to get to the thing and press the button."

Seconds later she was standing in his foyer, staring him up and down.

"Wow, you really are white," Felicia stated as she watched JK lean heavily upon his cane.

"Why thank you," he said very sarcastically.

They are all related, that's for sure
. She tried to smile.

JK stared at a pregnant Felicia. Her hair was cut short. Her skin was a silky brown. She had dark brown eyes with hints of softness all around them. He liked her. She had character. He could see why Jonathan married her.

She reminded him of his wife, Monà's mother.

"Surprised?"

"What, that you're pregnant or that you're here?"

"No, that I'm black."

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know. I wasn't sure if it would bother you."

"My wife was black, although if you look at Naya, Jonathan, or even Simone, one might never know it. You could see her so much in Monà. Looking at her was like looking right into the eyes of…"

Felicia saw the grief in his eyes as he leaned on his cane again. She knew some of the history.

Silence sat in between them and each stared in a different direction for obvious reasons.

"Jonathan doesn't know that I'm here."

JK smiled. He wasn't surprised.

"Is there somewhere you and I can sit down and talk?"

JK finally realized that they were still standing in his foyer.

He motioned toward the sitting room.

Felicia laughed softly.

She sat on the sofa and looked around. She tried not to look so impressed but it was difficult not to.

"This place is huge."

"Yes, it used to be my parent's home."

"Yes, Jonathan told me."

"Forgive me if I don't smile when you say his name."

"He told me about you two's history."

"Really? I'm surprised."

"Yes really, I am his wife remember? Anyway, I know that he tried to blackmail you. I know how he felt about Naya, his mother. I know about you and how you treated him in such a cold and heartless manner, when he was young. I know that you thought he was your son. I know what you did to Naya, and to her mother, so please forgive me if I don't smile."

"So then, if you know all these things, why are you here?"

JK saw the sadness all over her face as she started to speak.

"Chris passed away."

JK could hear his heart stop.

"Naya," he said through brief moments of complete shock.

Felicia reached out and touched his hand. She fought back her own tears.

Neither spoke for what seemed like forever.

"How is she?"

"I don't think she knows yet?"

"How could she not know?"

"Last night, I went by the hospital to see her and Chris only to find that she had just left. They said she almost stopped breathing herself, after Chris almost passed away the first time. I was told that the doctor made her go home to try and get some needed rest.

"I stayed for awhile. It happened while I was there. The doctor just couldn't find the strength to call and tell her. I still haven't told Jonathan. He was asleep when I got home. This morning he was in so much pain. He and Naya had gotten into a serious fight at the hospital before I got there. He blames himself for the accident. I still haven't found the strength to tell him. I did call Carl, so that he could tell Simone."

"So who's going to tell her? She has to know."

"That's why I'm here. I think you should tell her."

"What?"

"I know it will be difficult but you're her father, regardless of whether you should be or not."

JK grew silent. What was left of his aging mind was running rampant. He was sure his blood pressure was up, and that within any minute he would have another heart attack.

"Look" he said, "I can't do it. Look at me; I can barely get around. My ticker is hanging on only by the thousands of medications that keep it slightly going. My lungs have just about left me and my mind is—well, just plain gone. How am I supposed to tell her that the love of her life, a man she has been married to just over thirty-years is gone, how?"

"You can tell her because you know what it's like to lose a spouse."

"Get out!"

"You know what I'm saying is true."

"You're just as cold as the man you married!"

"No, that's not true. Yes, he did some horrible things but I'm saying this because she needs you. More than you know."

"Why can't you tell her?"

"Aren't you her father?"

JK didn't respond.

"There is a lot going on in this family, too much pain. It's time to put an end to all of this. Be there for your daughter. Be there. Don't let this moment, no matter how tragic it came to you, pass you by. This is your chance to finally be by her side."

"How am I supposed to be there for her?"

"You can be there to wipe away her tears. There will be many. Think about how you felt. Would things have been different if you had family to help you get through the pain? That is what family does, JK. It gets past the ugly. It pushes past the pain and it holds on for dear life through the storm. Her storm is here; carry your daughter through it."

Felicia stood up to leave.

"I don't think I can do it."

"Yes you can and will. It's time for you to start acting like the father you should have been from the beginning."

"That man died so many eons ago."

"I see him."

JK watched as Felicia got into her car.

An hour later, he was still standing at the door, leaning upon his cane. He felt a rain drop fall upon his forehead.

As he closed the door he thought to himself—
she was right, the storm had arrived.

D
r. Banner stared out the window. She watched as the tiny drops of rain hit the glass. She had pulled a double shift and her body was starting to remind her of that very fact. She felt herself jump when a loud bolt of lightning struck. She hated the rain and hated when it stormed. Both always made her sad.

She watched as the sky lit up and the rain began to pour down. She could hear the hail hitting the window ledge. The lights in her office flickered for a moment.

She walked over and locked her office door. She just needed a moment to try and gather her thoughts.

She was so tired. Not just from working a double shift, but she was mentally tired of being a doctor.

It was hard for her to admit it, but she had only followed in her mother's footsteps instead of finding her own.

The phone was waiting for her. Waiting for her to make a call she still couldn't find the strength to make. She had never gotten used to making those types of calls. Other doctors scorned her for doing it. Most felt that it was a nurse's job. To her, they were all cowards. Today, however, she almost felt like being just that—a coward.

Maybe the storm will knock the power out and then the phones won't work
. It was absurd, and she knew it.

I'm losing my mind. No, you're just losing the heart to keep doing this job. How long has it been? Over thirty-five years. You never get over losing a patient. Never.

She stared at the phone again. She knew she couldn't afford to not make the call today. Truth be told, she could be in serious trouble for not calling last night.

Okay
.
Let's just get it over with
.

What are you saying….just get it over with? This is someone's husband.

She took out the file and looked for the home number.

Just as she started to dial it, she heard a knock on her office door.

"Yes."

"Dr. Banner," a young nurse said in a very rushed voice. "We need you right away."

She walked over and unlocked the door.

"What's the problem?"

"A woman has been brought in; she's pregnant and was hit by a car. She's bleeding badly."

Dr. Banner stared at the file on her desk.

"Dr. Banner."

"Right, okay. Let's go. I need to get scrubbed in. Is she married? Did someone call her husband if she is?"

"Yes doctor, he's on his way."

"What's the patient's name?"

"Felicia Creek."

Dr. Banner stopped.

"I'm sorry; did you just say Felicia Creek?

"Yes, Dr. Banner.

She began to run.

"
JK moved fast. He didn't think he still had it in him. He dropped his cane and swung his arm out to catch his daughter."