Strip Me Bare (24 page)

I almost can’t believe how fast the night has
come and gone. Because before I know it, my father is helping me
slip on my coat. We walk silently, side by side through the lobby
of the hotel. It’s all high ceilings and beautiful white
marble.

“Alana,” he stops me, just before we walk
outside into the cold city air. “I’ve secured you a job after you
graduate,” he says in his businesslike demeanor.

“A job?”

“Yes, in the prosecutor’s office.”

“The prosecutor’s office?” I repeat, watching
my tone. “I barely know anything about criminal law.”

“You’ll learn, you’re smart and on the job
training is the most informative classroom.”

“But daddy-”

“Alana,” he silences me with sharp breath.
“You will accept this job I went out on a limb to get you. It will
be a stepping stone into a judicial position.”

“A judge?” I’ve never even considered the
possibility; I want to litigate big cases for huge corporations and
high profile clients. I don’t want to try criminals, carry a huge
caseload or be pigeonholed. “Daddy, I don’t think-”

He interrupts me again, “Alana, I don’t think
I was clear. You
will
take this job, otherwise you may find
yourself in the bursar’s office explaining to them why a tuition
check never materialized.”

I shut my mouth immediately. This is my
father, truly and fundamentally. I see red as I look at him, but I
keep my emotions in check.

“Yes, daddy,” I submit, and then turn to walk
out of the building.

“Alana,” he calls before I make it to the
door. I turn to look at him and he’s digging around the inside
pocket of his long formal dress coat. He pulls out a small box,
“Merry Christmas.” He holds the present out in the palm of his
hand, it’s wrapped in shiny silver paper with a glittery gold bow.
There’s not one ounce of emotion on his face as I stand there
staring at his offering. I finally take the gift and open it.
Inside is pair of large, square, diamond studs. They’re absolutely
flawless and reflect off every light in the room.

“They’re beautiful, thank you,” I say
honestly, because they are and I love them, even though I hate him
right now.

“They were your mother’s,” he says aloofly,
and then walks out the door.

My heart aches I miss her so much.

I stand there in the middle of one of the
world’s most renowned hotels, and watch as my father slips into his
town car. I feel nothing but utterly numb, emotionally segregated
and physically dismissed as dozens of holiday happy people come and
go around me. I stare down at the little piece of my mother I’m
holding in my hand, and wonder how in the hell did a woman like her
ever love a man like him.

I walk into my dark apartment. It’s only
11:30, I didn’t expect Ryan to be sleeping. Suddenly lights pop on,
Christmas tree lights.

“Where did that come from?” I ask surprised.
Gleaming in the middle of my living room is a six foot, fully
decorated tree.

“You needed a better tree.”

“The Grinch’s tree just wasn’t cutting it for
you, huh?”

“Nope, from now on, real trees taller than
us. It’s a stipulation.”

“A stipulation for what?” I inhale lightly,
catching the delicious scent of pine.

“For the future.”

“That’s becoming your favorite word lately,”
I sigh, slipping my coat off, and then my shoes.

Ryan looks at me with an anxious expression,
“Alana, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything. The future,” I groan as
I walk across my tiny living room and take a seat on the floor next
to the tree, my ball gown pooling around me.

“What wrong with the future?” Ryan sits down
next to me. He’s wearing slim blue jeans and large collared
sweater.

“Nothing, except…it’s going to get really
ugly, really fast.”

I look up at the tree, Ryan really outdid
himself. It’s decked out in classic Christmas colors; red and green
ornaments with a glittery gold ribbon wrapped diagonally down it.
With perfectly spaced lights and evenly distributed ornaments, he
concocted an aesthetically pleasing visual like only a master
artisan could.

Talented is too puny a word to describe his
ability.

“Did something happen at dinner?”

“Dinner, no? Dinner was wonderful, it’s what
happened after dinner.” I tuck some hair behind my ears and show
him my mother’s earrings.

“Holy shit, did your father give you
those?”

“Yes, right after he threatened me.”

“Threatened you?” Ryan sits up straight; the
lights from the tree casting beautiful shadows across his concerned
face.

“Not physically.” I put my hand on his chest,
“Easy there killer. He got me a job in the prosecutor’s office and
he basically told me if I didn’t take it, he was going to hold back
my tuition. Which means I wouldn’t be able to finish law
school.”

“Jesus Christ, Alana.”

“I know,” I drop my head into my hand.

“What are you going to do?” Ryan’s voice is
worried.

I look up at him emotionally exhausted, “I’m
going to accept the job, finish law school and then take off with
you.”

“Really?” he says surprised.

“Yes, that’s the plan right? I just hope
you’re prepared, because come May, my life is going to get messy.
I’m not going to have any money, or a job. Or even a place to live
for that matter.”

Ryan nods his head fervently, “Yes, baby,
whatever you need.” He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms
around me. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll always take care of
you.”

I drop me head onto his shoulder. “You’ll
take care of me,” I repeat forlornly.

“Is there a problem with me wanting to take
care of you?” Ryan asks critically.

“No, it’s just not how I pictured my
liberation going.”

“Yeah, well, the best laid plans, right?”

I roll me eyes resigned, “I guess.”

“It will be okay. I have some money saved and
we have a few months to plan. Just concentrate on finishing law
school. That’s what’s important.”

“I know, but I shouldn’t have to saddle you
with my fucked up family drama.”

“Alana, you’re not saddling me with anything.
And if anyone understands fucked up family drama,” he scoffs, “it’s
me. This is exactly why Vegas is so important. I don’t ever want
you to feel like this.”

“And how am I feeling Ryan?” I look up at
him, knowing he knows.

“Alone.”

“Yes, that’s exactly how I felt when I walked
into the room, but not anymore.”

He kisses my head gently, and I snuggle into
him.

We sit in the dark for I don’t know how long,
gazing at the tree. It looks like it belongs in one of Macy’s
storefront windows.

“Alana?” Ryan asks softly.

“Yeah?”

“Will you come somewhere with me
tomorrow?”

“Of course. Where?”

“To see my mom.”

I pick my head up and look at him,
“Really?”

Ryan nods with big, blue, insecure eyes.

I kiss him on the mouth lightly, then stand
up and start walking towards the bedroom.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“I have to go figure out what to wear.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now. It’s the first time I’m meeting
your mother, it may take me all night to pick out an outfit.”

Ryan laughs, “Women.”

“This shouldn’t surprise you. You’re an
expert on women.”

“I’m an expert on one woman,” he corrects as
he gets up to follow me, “and even she still surprises me
sometimes.”

“I have to keep you on your toes. I have a
lot of competition.”

“Alana,” he says engagingly, grabbing my arm,
“you are the competition.”

“Smooth talker,” I jibe.

“Smooth enough to get a private fashion
show?” he asks temptingly.

“Maybe,” I tease. “You might have to pull a
few more lines out of your hat though.”

“Baby,” Ryan slides his hands seductively
around my waist, “for you, I’ll pull lines, I’ll pull game, I’ll
pull rabbits right out of my hat.”

Ryan and I drive down
Parkway South, away from the city and towards the Jersey Shore. We
both grew up minutes from the ocean, me in an elite community, him
on the wrong side of the tracks. I don’t know much about Ryan’s
mother, just that he calls her a functioning alcoholic. A person
who gets wasted all the time but still manages to hold down a job
and keep a roof over her family’s head. He says that’s about all
she manages to do. From a very young age Ryan was the one who
cooked (if there was any food) and cleaned and kept his family
together. He was the anchor and the punching bag when she got out
of control. It breaks my heart thinking about the shitty upbringing
he had and how desperate he is to have a future different from his
past. And how desperate I am to make sure that happens. I’m sitting
in the front seat of his Mercedes CLK350, OneRepublic’s
Counting
Stars
is playing on the radio. I’m perfectly composed on the
outside and clawing the walls on the inside. I don’t know what to
expect, I want to make a good first impression and I want her to
like me. Actually, I’m dying for her to like me. I don’t know why,
but this is more nerve-wracking than taking the LSATs.

“You know what I miss?” I ask Ryan, hoping
conversation will distract me.

“What’s that?” he asks as we pass exit
117.

“Your Wrangler.” It’s the car Ryan drove the
summer we met.

“Oh yeah?” One side of his mouth curves up,
“We had a lot of fun in that car. Miss your hair blowing in the
wind?”

I stare at Ryan, trying to contain my
laughter, “
Do you?
”

“Fuck, yeah.” Ryan is absolutely beaming and
I know exactly what he’s grinning at, a very illicit memory. “Maybe
we can make this car just as much fun as the Jeep?” he
insinuates.

“Maybe,” I tease, running my hand up his
leg.

“Did I tell you how much I love you today?”
he asks, as he glances heatedly between me and the road.

“Nope.”

“Well, I do. A lot,” he expels, making me
giggle as I pull my hand away.

Yeah, we had
a lot
of fun in that
Jeep.

Ryan pulls off exit 105 in the direction of
Shrewsbury, another inland shore town closer to Neptune than Colts
Neck. We pull into a large parking lot sprinkled with cars. The
Americana is an iconical New Jersey diner located on a busy
highway; it’s a quintessential eating establishment with mirrored
doors, a stainless steel exterior and neon lights. It’s where high
school kids meet late night and elderly couples come early
morning.

Ryan finds a parking space in front. “Ready?”
he asks as he turns off the car.

“Are you ready?”

“No, but fuck it. You have to meet her.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s time.”

“Time for who?”

“Time for all of us.”

“Okay.”

I step out of the car and smooth out my
sweater. I decided casual was the way to go; a chunky cable knit
sweater, brown leggings and cognac riding boots. My hair is down
and my makeup is light. Ryan is wearing loose-fitting jeans, a long
sleeved t-shirt and black leather jacket. I love it when he wears
that jacket, it makes him look all sexy and smooth and urban
cool.

He takes my hand and we walk up the front
steps together. The inside of the diner is flashy with teal booths
and reflective walls, typical diner décor. There’s a large counter
directly in front of us with two women dressed in pink button up
shirts, aprons and black pants. One has silver hair and dark skin,
the other looks much younger with long brown hair, smile lines and
Ryan’s blue eyes. My heart starts to hammer when she looks at me.
She’s standing perfectly still with an apprehensive expression on
her face as Ryan and I approach, like two serial killers are
walking towards her.