Strong Enough (6 page)

6 Years Later –

You can’t be serious, this isn’t
what you want. You don’t want to walk away, you can’t. You told me
that we were meant to go through this life together. How can you
say that you have changed your mind? How can you just ignore what
we have?? No, please don’t. Please don’t, I can’t do this without
you. I can’t lose anyone else. Please, Please, no….

“A
h hem, Ms. Miller……Ms.
Miller…” echoed as I stirred in my bed reaching behind my head to
grab my pillow and pull it over my ears to get whoever keeps trying
to wake me to GO AWAY. Reaching back my hand smacked against
something hard. OUCH! I twisted to realize that the bed I was so
comfortably laying in was not my bed at all but instead was a
rather hard chair and the pillow I was reaching for was the desk
behind me. Trying to get my wits about myself and figure out where
the hell I really was, it dawned on me.
Oh shit
this is embarrassing.
Having the realization my
“bedroom” was actually Contracts and Negotiation 201.

“Ms. Miller, I appreciate that you are
comfortable enough around all of us that you can share your
personal thoughts, however during the middle of my lecture is
hardly the place. I suggest whoever is walking away from you in
your dream wait until after I am done with my discussion.”

What a fucking
asshole.
“I’m so sorry Professor Morris, I didn’t mean
to disrupt you. I didn’t get much sleep last night, I guess I
dozed…”

“Ms. Miller, I hardly care to hear your
explanation as to why you are choosing to use my lecture time as
your personal nap time and from the sounds of the discussion you
were having, your personal therapy time. You should know by now
this a required course and hardly a fluff course. I suggest you get
your “stuff” situated before you step foot in my class and disrupt
it like that again.”

I swear I can feel fifty pairs of eye
staring at me. Chancing the idea, I slowly start to look away from
Professor Morris standing directly in front of me and shifted my
eyes to the left from my spot located at the front furthest right
side desk in the lecture hall. Yep, every person in there is
looking at me. Mixed looks with chuckles and a few irritated ones
have me feeling pretty stupid.

I knew I should have skipped this damn
class. I didn’t get any sleep last night since I didn’t get home
until after 4:00 am and who can go straight to sleep? Before I knew
it the first soap opera of the day was on and I had twenty minutes
to get to class. So yeah, shoot me, I fell asleep. I’m
freakin tired
!

Well, this lecture was a bust for me so why
stay? Grabbing my laptop and purse, I stand and give a pretty
sheepish grin to Professor Morris and make a b-line to the door to
my direct right to get the hell out of here.

As the door shuts behind me I let out a sigh
of relief. Besides the pure mortification of being called out by
the professor in front of the whole class, I’m trying to remember
what I was talking about in my sleep. Of course leave it to me to
sleep talk while in front of fifty plus students. I knew I should
have skipped this class.

Shifting my purse over my shoulder and
feeling a little dejected, I started out of the building and headed
towards the student union. I know there is a pool table calling my
name. I need the release. Shifting my weight to lean into the metal
bar to release the door I paused when I heard my name.

“Hey Reece, hold up.”

Great, not really wanting to deal with him
right now. “Hey Chris what’s up?”

“Hey, just wanted to catch up to you and see
if you’re okay. That was pretty fucked up of Professor Morris to
call you out like that. I mean I get that you were sleeping and
well having a full conversation out loud where everyone could hear,
but geez that was still pretty fucked up.”

Well isn’t he just Mr Obvious. Why am I even
listening to this?

“Look Chris, thanks for checking but I’m
fine. I just needed to get out of there. I can barely keep my eyes
open and well I’ve had enough “look at Reece” time to last me a
while. Look I gotta go.”

“Hey wait, there is more to why I came after
you. Look I was sitting right behind you,”
he
was?
“and well, I heard what you were saying. I mean I
guess you could have been dreaming but you said his name and well I
know from when we used to talk that….”

Shit! I was talking about
him? Just great……

“Look Chris, I really don’t give a shit what
you think you think you know about him, or what the fuck you heard
or what the fuck you’re even doing here talking to me. Stay the
fuck out of my shit and I’ll stay out of yours. WE aren’t
talking
anymore and I don’t need you
over analyzing me and trying to give me opinions and shit. I can
pay someone for that. So if you don’t mind I’m outta here.”

“Damn Reece, what the hell is your issue? I
was trying to check on you and see how you’re doing. Not get in
your shit. Damn it, you haven’t changed a bit. Jumping my shit for
no reason, I was concerned. Pardon the fuck out of me for even
trying to give a shit. When are you going to figure out the world
isn’t against you.”

With that he turned and left me standing at
the door, again. I watched as the guy I thought was my answer walk
away, yet again and in true Reece fashion it was because of me.
Damn, what is wrong with me? Perhaps it would be a shorter list to
say what isn’t wrong with me.

With a deep breath, I pushed the heavy metal
door open and the sun of the day hit me square in the face.
Reaching up I grabbed my Oakley’s off the top of my head and slid
them down. Spring is in full effect in Texas, which means basically
its summer. Ninety degree weather, blazing sun and humidity, yep,
those all make for a great day walking across campus.

With a direct path to the Student Union, it
wouldn’t take me but 3–4 minutes to get there. The Union is always
busy with students grabbing coffee, eating, socializing and
planning the rest of their lives. Ok maybe not planning their
lives, but from some of the serious looks of concentration you
would think so. My favorite part about the Union is what’s
downstairs… billiards tables. Ah, sweet stress relief. When I can’t
make it off campus to go over to Danny’s Place I come down here and
take the stress and irritation I am going through out on the
balls.

As I entered the Union I could see the
groups of people huddled together doing what it is they do. It
amazes me how so many people pay to send their kids to college but
really they pay for their kids to sit in the Union because I swear
no matter what time of day it is, when I walk in here the
same
people are here in the same
spots. How could they possibly attend class? I mean come on, I’ve
been here for five years and they are STILL here.

Turning the corner to head down the stairs I
nearly crash into Jodi. “Oh sorry, oh Reece, didn’t see you,” she
said as she looked past me. “Yeah, guess not with your head stuck
on your phone, no worries no harm.” I moved to the right a bit and
walked right past her. I could feel her standing there giving me
the
You have GOT to be joking
look
she use to save only for bitches she ran into. Of course, I have
become one of those “bitches” now so it’s only appropriate that she
be sharing in her glare. Just to see if I was right, I peered over
my right shoulder as I wound down the stairs. I was right, she was
standing there mouth a bit agape, hand on hip and eyes glued to me
as if she were sending a death ray.
Man she is
good at that look, she should teach people how to do it, she’d make
a killing.

Giving a slight crooked smile I then faced
forward and continued down the stairs. Hitting the doors to the Rec
section of the Union, I pushed past and was met with the ever so
calming sound of the
CRACK
of a
break. Almost an instant sense of relief hit me. I just need to
rack a few and let go of what just happened and get on with my
day.

The Rec was a bit of a dungeon compared to
the rest of the Union. It hasn’t been updated since the 50’s and
honestly, not sure if it’s been cleaned since then either. The
dingy dark green carpet didn’t have a spot on it that
wasn’t
a stain. The dark brown walls
carried such a film that I would bet money the original color of
the wall was beige not dark brown. The chairs and tables that were
scattered in different places across the Rec were barely being held
together. It was a common joke to check a chair before you sit
otherwise you will end up with your ass on the floor when the chair
falls apart. Every single table in the Rec wobbled and there aren’t
enough sugar packets in the Union to stack under each one to
attempt to get them to level out. There are four regulation length
billiards tables all of which have seen better days but luckily the
University does re-felt every year. Well since they have the
reigning amateur collegiate league champ playing here they figure
they could at least do that. People were scattered around as I
stepped off the stairs. Eyeing the table in the back, I headed to
the Rec desk to get my rack. Weaving in and out of the chairs and
tables I settled in at the back of the Rec. Dropping my purse on
the table and pausing to make sure the table didn’t collapse under
it, I turned to set my rack on the table and there she was.
Shit NOW what?

“What is your deal Reece, you have become
the biggest bitch.”

“Look Jodi, I don’t want to get into this
with you especially not here and not now. I just need to
decompress. Can you just leave me the hell alone for now?”

“See, that’s my point. You NEVER want to
talk. I have tried Reece, I have tried a lot and you just push past
me and ignore me like everyone else. You walk around like the whole
damn world hates you.”

Grabbing the triangle I started to rack up
the balls for a standard game. I am ignoring her, just like she
says I do, and keep hoping she will walk away. I don’t want to get
into this with her now and not sure I ever want to. I can’t forgive
her. I can’t forget, and I certainly don’t know how to move past
it.

“Just walk away Jodi, it’s not happening
today,” I said with the coldest of ease. With that I heard her huff
and turn as she did what I wanted and walked away.

Taking a deep breath I begin to aim for my
break. “Excuse me”.
OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE
KIDDING ME

“What?” I said with a definite irritation.
Looking up I saw what I think is a student standing 6 feet tall,
brown hair, green eyes and a body that made me want to grab the
table for stability. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt you, but I am
walking around handing out info on our new MMA training program we
are offering at 89th Street Gym and wanted to see if you might be
interested.”

Ok, I must say, his looks had me a bit taken
off guard, but he just said MMA, I’m a girl, he HAS to see I’m a
girl. “Um, you realize I’m a girl right?” I said snarkly.

“Of course I realize you’re a girl, who
couldn’t?” His eyes danced as he finished his sentence.
Ok wait, was he just flirting with me? No, not
possible, nope he’s just gathering business
.

“Well if you know I’m a chick why are you
asking me about MMA?”

“Well it’s not just for guys. Yes we have a
program that will prepare someone to start fighting, but the
training program is not just for those that want to become MMA
fighters, but actually to teach the techniques of the sport for
exercise as well as self-defense. We have all kinds of options in
the program. And yes, they include options for women.”

I’m sure my expression at this point is
pretty puzzled, but not because I’m not comprehending what he is
saying, but because I’m still trying to figure out if he was
flirting with me, it’s been a while since someone has, it’s taking
me a minute to process the situation. Still a little bewildered, I
regained my focus.

“Ok, well sounds interesting, but I haven’t
stepped foot in a gym since I was in high school, to say I am out
of shape would be a gross misrepresentation of the fact that I am
severely out of shape. I am tired just walking across campus. It
would be rather comical in any type of MMA program to teach me
whatever you were saying. Thanks but I don’t think I am the girl
for you.”

Transitioning to refocus on the break I was
about to take. “What makes you think you would be comical?” He
said, breaking my concentration again. Taking a deep breath in, I
slowly raise my head and look to my left while still holding my cue
in position to break. “Because I don’t work out, it would take two
minutes for me to be done, that’s why.” I ended as I once again
refocused on the break. Pulling back on the cue I release with a
loud
CRACK!
as the balls
scatter.

“Well then we need to get you in shape
first,” he said with a slight upturned grin on his face as I
glanced at him over the top of my rested cue stick.

“Um, no thanks.”

“Why? You afraid of a little hard work?”

Did this guy just ask me if I was afraid of
hard work? Seriously? I knew the definition and feeling of hard
work well before most kids knew how to tie their shoes.

“No smart ass, I am certainly not afraid of
hard work. What exactly do you consider hard work?” Curious to his
response I set my cue on the table and rested my right hip against
the table rail crossing my arms over my chest waiting for his
response.
Hmmm don’t remember that fat roll
being there… maybe I should go to the gym
.

“Hard work is an effort, sweat, tears all
for results. So you up for it?”