Strong Enough (8 page)

His hand slid past my arm that was holding
on to the heart rate control. It was a slow reach, well at least in
my head it was, but at this moment time could have been standing
still for all I know. A few pushes and suddenly my feet are
starting to move a lot faster. A few more clicks and in order to
keep up with the belt I break out into a slow jog. Apparently his
version of jog and mine are different because he keeps pushing the
up button. Picking up speed now I am running, and to fit exactly
what I said, he is chasing me, ok well sort of.

“Sterling, get off the treadmill you’re
making me nervous.”

“Nope you said you had to be chased, so this
Reece, is me chasing you.”
Um, did he mean
figuratively or literally?
His hands rested lightly on
the stability arms of the treadmill. The pace of the run was not
affecting him one bit, I on the other hand feel like I am about to
die.

“Please Sterling, this is freaking me out. I
feel like I am about to crash into you.” I increase my speed to try
and push myself a little further ahead on the treadmill, but it
feels as though my efforts are not working as I can feel his chest
lightly graze my back. The small touch made me uncomfortable, why
won’t he just get off?

“Trust me Reece, even if you fall into me, I
am here to catch you.”

I remain quiet and do the best I can to keep
up with the movement of the belt, but my effort is futile. One
wrong step and I lost my footing on the belt and fly into Sterling.
His right arm wraps quickly around my waist and hoists me up while
he’s still running. He reaches out with his left hand and grabs the
emergency cord which brings the belt to an instant stop. He
releases me and steps off the belt.

“I told you I would catch you.”

At this point, I am beyond pissed. Why is it
that people continue to make me uncomfortable even when I ask them
to stop? Why doesn’t anyone listen to me? That whole incident could
have been a lot worse and he doesn’t seem to realize I didn’t like
it.

Without a word, I about-face, step off the
treadmill and head toward the double doors. This session is
over.

“Reece, where are you going?”

I don’t feel I need to say a word. As a
matter of fact if I attempt to say something to him it will come
out really nasty. Although at this point I don’t give a flying fuck
if I say something he won’t like and with that I stop and turn to
face him.

“You’re an arrogant asshole who has zero
regard to how someone feels. I fucking told you to get off the god
damn machine! You wouldn’t fucking listen and I did exactly what I
didn’t want to do. I don’t need you to fucking save me ok. I don’t
NEED you to do a damn thing except leave me alone!”

I attempt to turn when he touched my
shoulder, not forcefully but just enough so I knew he wanted me to
stop.

“Reece, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset
you nor did I mean to make you uncomfortable. If I had known that
you were going to get so upset I would have…”

“That’s the point Sterling! You didn’t
LISTEN to me, no one ever fucking listens to me. What I want or
feel doesn’t mean a thing to you or anyone else. Do yourself a
favor and just leave me the fuck alone, you’re better off.”

“What the hell Reece, what do you mean I’m
better off?” His desperate plea hits me like a ton of bricks.

Without warning a tear falls. Then another
and another, just single droplets. I haven’t cried in years. I
don’t even realize I am until I notice his expression change. I
reach up and feel the forging wetness on my cheek. I stare at my
hand almost in disbelief.
Why the fuck am I
crying??

He starts to move closer to me but I put my
hand up to where his chest would stop.

“Don’t, please don’t.” Shaking my head from
side to side to ward him away. I can see the confusion in his face.
He wants to say something. I want him to but then again I don’t.
Shit I don’t know what I want from him. “Reece, I’m not better off,
and no, I won’t leave you alone. I will leave you alone for now,
but you need me, I’m not sure why or what for, but I can tell, you
need me.” His eyes were soulful, sincere and honest, he truly was
concerned.
Aw fuck, this isn’t going to end
well.

“I need to go.” And with that I turn and
walk toward the doors. He doesn’t try to stop me this time, but I
know this isn’t the last I will see of Sterling, he just made that
very clear. I don’t know what it is that he thinks I need, but I am
starting to wonder if he might be right.

W
alking in I throw my keys
on the kitchen breakfast bar, pull my tennis shoes off and drop
them where I stand. Heading to the fridge, I pull my hair out of
the bun I had it wrapped up in.
Good god I’m
hungry
. Opening the fridge, there isn’t much inside.
Scanning the shelves, I see a bag of open hot dogs, a block of
cheddar cheese, half empty 2 liter of diet Pepsi, takeout box of
Chinese and half liter of milk half gone. Nothing looks appetizing,
but I grab the box of takeout and a fork from the drawer next to
the fridge and head to the couch.

Plopping in the middle of the couch, I toss
the take out box on the coffee table and grab the remote.
Hope I can find Criminal Minds to watch; ugh
Derek is fucking hot.
As I had expected no Criminal
Minds, so Law and Order SVU will have to do.
When is this show NOT on?
I settle back into the
couch with my takeout. My mind is racing. I can’t focus and this
food sucks. Tossing the fork in the box and onto the coffee table,
I glance at the clock and do a quick calculation of how long I have
before I need to get ready for work. I figure I have four hours to
waste. Nap time it is. With that, my head hit the couch pillow, and
I can feel the sleep setting in.

Dododododo…
dododododo…dodododo…

Face planted in the pillow, my arm reaches
out to the coffee table to find my cell phone.
This better be an emergency.
My hand hits my phone,
vibrating all over the place and I grab it as quick as I can to
silence the irritating ring.

“Yeah?” My voice cracks as it tries to sound
normal.

“Reece where the fuck are you?” Derek barked
through the phone. Rolling to my back, I pull the phone away from
my face to look at the time.
SHIT! It’s
5:28!
“Derek man I’m sorry, I fell asleep. I’ll be there
in fifteen minutes.”

I hang up on him without waiting for an
answer and throw my phone on the couch and rush toward the bedroom.
Great forgot to do laundry
. I look
down at the laundry hamper and grab my black micro shorts and shake
them out to make sure they are decent enough to wear. We don’t
really have a “uniform” to wear at the bar, but let’s face it,
customers of the male persuasion prefer to have something to look
at when drinking, and well the more they drink the more I make in
tips, so yes micro shorts and skinny tanks are pretty much the
uniform. Pulling open my closet, it looks like a bomb went off with
mounds of shoes and purses on the floor and the small space stuffed
with clothes. I’m sure anyone looking in there would wonder how
someone could find anything but I never have a problem. That is
until I need something right away, like a tank for work that I am
already an hour late for.

Scanning the closet I reach up and grab an
electric blue skinny tank from the pile on the top shelf of the
closet and look quickly through my drawers below to grab my new
canary yellow bra and matching boy shorts and head toward the
shower. It’s a good thing the bar is around the corner, time is not
on my side. Taking my shower at lightning speed I am out and
throwing my clothes on and running a brush through my long auburn
hair. I would normally take a minute and put makeup on but hell,
who really cares, not like I am trying to impress someone. Instead
I grab my mascara and run a couple coats over my eyes, a little
bronzer on the face and yep, I’m done.

Walking past my full length mirror leaning
against the wall I pause and look and then wish I hadn’t. Sucking
in my stomach as I walk out of my bedroom, I stop to pick up my
cell off the couch and grab my purse and keys off the counter, I’m
out the door and down the stairs.

Geez even at six in the evening the Texas
sun is shining and hot as hell, but I’m grateful for a gentle
breeze, even if it is hot air blowing. You would think after all
the years of living here I would be used to it, but who really gets
used to sweating your ass off 80% of the year? Flipping my Oakleys
down over my eyes, I hit the button on my key fob to turn off the
alarm on my car and jump in the driver’s seat.

Takes me less than three minutes to leave my
place and pull into the parking lot of The Library. A hole in the
wall bar known to most of the college crowd as the place to go
Wednesday through Saturday. From the looks of the outside it is
hard to tell the single red door surrounded by all black brick and
no windows is a bar at all. A sole neon sign above the door shines
bright and reads OPEN. If it wasn’t for the sign and the amount of
cars in the parking lot, I’m not sure anyone driving by would think
it was anything but an abandoned building close to campus.

Pulling open the front door, I nod my head
toward the bouncer and walk past. The inside of The Library does
not meet the illusion the outside gives. The owner Derek put a lot
of time and money into the bar. Dark stained concrete floors,
couches are pushed into sections of the bar to create “hang out”
areas he calls them. Long black tables with bench and single seats
fill up the middle of the place. Derek said he went with long
tables to create a way for people to sit among others and socialize
instead of people fighting over tables. Yet, as with any bar when
we are busy, people still don’t have a place to sit and they still
fight over access to tables. One thing I will say Derek got right
was putting the bar in the middle of the joint. It is a very long
bar that offers 360 service while serving 50 seats at the bar
alone.

It’s already getting busy in here and I can
see Stormy and Gretchen are running around trying to keep up. I
trained both of them so I know they can do it, but 25 customers
each and upkeep of the wait staff does get a bit overwhelming. Now
I feel even guiltier for being late.

“Hey girls, sorry, let me throw my stuff in
the office and I’ll be right out,” was all I said as I raced by. I
caught both of them nod and smile at me as I raced past.

Hope Derek isn’t in here
right now
. Just as I threw the door open, Derek was
walking out so the door hit him square in the head. “FUCK, watch
it…” he yelled as he staggered backwards into the office.

“Crap, I’m sorry Derek, I didn’t expect you
to walk out right then.”

“You’re late, really late, and I really
don’t give a fuck why, just get your shit together and go do your
goddamn job Reece. I didn’t make you manager to fuck around and
come in when you want.”

“Oh come on Derek, three years with you and
I’m never late. I work my ass off and you’re going to give me shit
like this. Don’t give me this ‘I didn’t make you manager…’
bullshit. You made me manager because you know I know my shit and
don’t take shit from employees or customers and further more will
work my ass off like no one else in this goddamn place. So give me
a fucking break will ya?” Irritation and anger poured from my
words.

Throwing his hands up in a manner of
I surrender
, Derek backed away from
me and flashed me one of his signature panty dropping smiles. “You
know I love it when you talk like that to me,” he said as his hands
came down and reached out to grab my hips.
Oh
for Christ sake, I don’t want to deal with this right
now
. “Derek don’t! Let me put my stuff up and get out on
the floor. The girls are in the weeds out there and I don’t want to
deal with pissy drunk people tonight because you want to waste more
of my time by hitting on me when you know I won’t do anything with
you.” Slapping his hands away from me, he gave me a dejected look
but knew I was not playing around. “Fine Reece but you know you
want me,” he said as he flashed that smile and walked out the room.
Oh I so do NOT want you
.

In just the few minutes I took to put my
stuff away and hop behind the bar, the crowd has picked up. The
Library has become a cult favorite amongst the college crowd as
well as many of our older regulars. Most places don’t get busy
until after 9:00 pm, we start to feel the rush around 5:30 pm and
it doesn’t let up until 2:00 am.

“Ok girls, fill me in, where are we on the
bar top?” I ask while setting up my station in the middle of the
bar.