STRONGER (8 page)

I wasn’t surprised to see Mama heading to our table first. Cocoa and I were still seated on the Don’s lap.

“Well, what did you think, Don Costa?” Mama asked, her grin telling everyone she knew exactly what he thought.

“The voice of an angel,” the Don declared.

“Here, here,” Georgie said.

“And how are Cocoa and Jazz treating you?” Mama asked, looking at us. “I must say, Don, that you look happier than a pig in mud.”

“You know my vices well, Mama,” he said. “And I can’t help wanting what I want.”

I couldn’t contain a gasp as he forcefully groped my breast.

I expected Mama to be angry, to tell him off no matter who he was. You couldn’t do that to an employee no matter who you were, right?

Instead, she simply looked at the Don with something close to regret.

“I’m afraid I have to discourage you with Jazz,” Mama said. “This is her first night. She’s inexperienced. I don’t want you to be disappointed. Only the best for you, Don Costa.”

I tried not to feel stung, knowing that Mama was just attempting to protect me.

“Don Costa, isn’t there anything I can do for you?” Cocoa chimed in. She pushed her red lips out in a pretty pout. “Aren’t I your favorite anymore? All this attention you’re lavishing on Jazz is making me jealous.”

The Don spluttered out a laugh. “I never thought I’d have a pair of your girls fighting over me, Mama,” he said.

“We’re eager to please,” she said, smiling widely.

“Cocoa, sweetheart, you know I love you,” the Don said, pinching her rouged cheek. “But a man can’t eat steak every day of his life. Sometimes, he needs a little fish, too.”

He laughed at my yelp when he roughly handled my crotch.

The “everything” of Mama’s nightclub was becoming clearer to me with each passing second.

I looked up and shivered. Mama’s smile was downright chilly.

“Don, please excuse Miss Jazz and I,” she said. “We’re going to step into my office to talk a little business. Cocoa here will keep you warm while we’re away.”

“I hope you’re not going to try to spirit her away for the night,” the Don said, the hint of a threat apparent in his voice. “I wouldn’t want to have to go looking for her.”

Mama laughed like she’d just heard the funniest joke in the world, but the chuckles were joyless. “Honey, where would I hide her from you? You own this club—and practically this entire city.”

This seemed to satisfy the Don while scaring the crap out of me and he released me from his lap. He owned the club—and the city? Then the “Don” thing really was a mob title. I clasped my hands together to keep them from shaking.

Mama put her arm around my waist and walked me across the floor toward the office. She smiled graciously and waved at all of the well wishers sitting at the various tables.

“I’ll be back to talk soon, I promise,” she called out multiple times as we made our way through the tables.

“Talk?” someone called back. “Come back and sing soon!”

She laughed, seeming genuinely pleased. “You’re too kind.”

But when we entered the office, Mama’s smile faded. For the first time, I saw a harried businesswoman just trying to keep her life’s work running.

“The situation with the Don is worse than I thought,” Mama said. “He seems to have really taken a shine to you, child, and it’s not hard to see why. You’re a gorgeous creature. You’re a lot more innocent than the rest of my girls. You’re eager to please. He can’t resist you. No man would be able to.”

“I didn’t do anything to ask for this,” I said, my voice trembling. “I just tried to be nice. I don’t really know what’s going on.”

“What’s going on is that the Don wants to sleep with you tonight, Jazz,” Mama said bluntly. “There ain’t words to pretty it up. That’s the cold, hard truth. The most powerful man in New York wants to sleep with you and he always gets what he wants.”

“Can’t I say no?” I whispered.

Mama sat down on the edge of her desk. “A dozen of my girls would be clawing at each other to be in the situation you’re in,” she said. “Sure, the tips from running drinks and food and letting the customers flirt with you are nice. But the real money comes in from the sex.”

“The sex?”

Mama shrugged. “Everyone has sex. Why shouldn’t you sell it? It’s the most natural thing in the world.”

The “everything” that I had been missing out on fell into place. The nightclub was just an elaborate front for a brothel.

And I was about to have my first client.

I felt physically ill but tried to calmly assess the situation. I couldn’t even really say that this was the worst thing to ever befall me. Jack had been very bad. The streets had been perhaps even worse. So this—sleeping with a mob boss for cash—this was just par for the course, right?

“Anyone can say no,” Mama said. “You can try to say no. But this man has been making the rules for years. I’ve known him for a long time. He gave me the money to start this place and continues to pour money in when he’s a customer. The Don can shut this place down if there’s something he doesn’t like about it. That’s why we always try to do things that he likes.”

He could shut Mama’s nightclub down? I thought about all the girls who would be out of a job, out of money, and thrown out on the streets.

All because I didn’t want to sleep with the Don—even though he was going to pay me.

Mama had been so kind to me, and my selfishness was going to kill her dreams.

“I’ll do it,” I said finally.

“Jazz, you don’t have to,” Mama said, but the relief was plain on her face.

“I want to do it,” I said. “It’s the least I could do. You took me off the streets. We’re family now.”

Mama grabbed me and held me close. Her perfume was cloying, almost suffocating, and I had to hold my breath.

“You’re a good girl, Jazz,” she said. “You’re a good girl.”

“There’s just one thing,” I said. “Well, a couple of things. I have some scarring from, well, you know.”

“That’s fine, honey,” Mama said. “He’ll notice it or he won’t.”

“The other thing is …” I hesitated. This was embarrassing, but I had to come clean. “I haven’t really had that much experience in the bedroom.”

During high school, I’d had some crushes. I never really dated before, but I did let a guy get to second base once while we rode the bus.

And the things Jack did to me I associated more with pain than with sex.

Mama was giving me an assessing look. “Are you telling me you’re a virgin?” she nearly demanded.

I nodded slowly. “More or less.”

“Which part is more and which part is less?” she asked sharply.

I flinched. “I’ve never lay down willingly with a man and had real sex.”

Mama smiled—a smile I’d never seen before. It scared me a lot.

“We’ll name a price he thinks he can refuse,” she said. I realized she was talking to herself. “But then we’ll sink the hook into him and he’ll know he can’t refuse—not an offer like this.”

Mama walked out of the office without saying anything. I understood only belatedly that I should follow.

When I arrived at the Don’s table, Mama was whispering in his ear. Cocoa watched me with a thinly disguised expression of horror. I remembered what my roommate had told me earlier—that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to. Did I really have that choice? Mama said Don Costa could shut the place down. Could I simply say no and let that happen?

Very few people had choices in life, I slowly realized. I was definitely not one of them—not now. Maybe not ever.

Mama leaned back and looked at the Don, waiting. He eyed me, grinning lecherously, until he reached into his suit jacket and withdrew a thick wad of money.

“Sold,” he said, licking his finger and counting out the bills.

Mama scooped up the cash as soon as the Don laid it on the table, stuffing it down into her ample cleavage.

“Cocoa, show Miss Jazz and Don Costa to the best room in the house,” Mama said. “Jazz, I’ll keep your things safe until you come get them.” She laid her hand on her breast and I knew she meant the money. How much of it was mine?

Cocoa cut across the dance floor and started to mount a set of stairs I had seen but assumed had led to more living quarters for Mama’s girls. The Don followed Cocoa, slapping her buttocks playfully as she walked up the steps. I followed the Don, feeling weak and lightheaded.

Cocoa reached a room and opened it. Flicking on a light revealed thick red curtains covering the expanses of walls. The bed was on a raised platform in the middle of the room. Off to the side was a bathroom. The dusky lighting gave everything a romantic feeling, but I couldn’t help feeling sick.

“Cocoa, did you know that Jazz is a virgin?” Don Costa mused. His grin was a little loopy and I could tell that all those martinis had made him tipsy.

“Jazz is a good girl,” my roommate said firmly. “Of course she’s a virgin. Now, we’re going to go get her ready in the bathroom. You stay out here and make yourself comfortable.”

Cocoa took me by the elbow and escorted me into the private bathroom, shutting the door behind us.

“Are you really a virgin?” she hissed. “Or is that something Mama invented?”

“I really am,” I said softly.

“Jesus.” Cocoa put her hands on her head, looking like she wanted to tear her hair out. “Okay, stay calm.”

I wondered if she was talking to herself or to me. She opened a cabinet to reveal an assortment of condoms and lubricants. Grabbing a handful, she slammed the door shut.

“Take off your clothes,” she said. “Leave your bra and underwear on.”

I obeyed immediately. Cocoa obviously had more knowledge about this than I did. She looked genuinely upset and like she wanted to help me.

“I bet you wondered why Mama insisted on matching lingerie sets under your uniform,” my roommate muttered, draping my blouse and skirt over a hanger.

“I thought it was just because she liked nice things,” I said innocently. My bra was black lace and the thong matched it perfectly.

“She does like her nice things,” Cocoa agreed irreverently. She uncapped a bottle of lube and held it out to me. “Put this on your pussy. Try to work it inside. Don’t be shy. You’ll thank me later.”

I swallowed and took the bottle, squirting a bit of the lube onto my fingers. It was cold and vaguely sticky. Closing my eyes, I jammed my hand into my thong and rubbed myself with it. The wetness was unpleasant and uncomfortable. I washed my hands afterward.

“You’re as ready as you’ll ever be,” Cocoa determined. She brought out her ever-present red lipstick and swept the color over my lips.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Who was this Jazz? I didn’t recognize her.

“So I just go and lie down and open my legs?” I asked.

Cocoa nodded. “Simply put, that’s about all you do,” she agreed. “If it hurts, think happy thoughts, like what you’re going to spend all that money on. Mama takes a cut, but it’s all yours.”

“Ice cream,” I said, “then pizza.”

“Delicious,” Cocoa said, smiling.

She opened the door and led me out of the bathroom. “Look who’s all ready for you, darling,” my roommate called.