Stronger (22 page)

The final preparation for me takes place right before I leave. My mom does a few simple procedures using lasers, narrowing my eyes, giving me fuller lips, and changing the contour of my nose and cheekbones. She also applies warrior tats to my face and helps me dye my hair a bright blue, a common color for Debs who work in the section I’m infiltrating. She slips yellow lens over my eyes, making them a more of a muddied blue.

She gives me the tat of one of the warriors who was recently killed, a huge scar running from the corner of one eye to the jaw on the opposite side. When we’re done I don’t even recognize myself. The gray uniform is a little big to help hide the carrier under my clothes.

The hall is lined with soldiers who pound their chests as we pass, a sign of respect. I fight the tears building behind my eyes. I never dreamed of being given such an honor.

But the one face I’m searching for isn’t there. Where’s Bryant? Is he really not going to see me off? When we step into the pale lavender morning light he’s standing on the path that will take us back to the city. His eyes go right to me, even though I no longer look like myself. He shakes everyone’s hand and even though we don’t embrace his eyes tell me everything he’s feeling. I hope my eyes communicate half as well as his do.

“You recognize me?”

“Always.” He touches my blue hair. “How long will your disguise last?”

“Mom isn’t sure, but she’s guessing only a few hours. The tats too.”

He takes a deep breath. “I would wish you luck but I know you’ve got this, so you don’t need it.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I’ve had a great teacher.”

He doesn’t let go of my hand and when I step away his fingers hold on until the last moment. Right before we load into the hoverbus, I peek over my shoulder and find him still there watching me.

The warehouse is at the far end of campus, higher in the hills, overlooking the academy and the Warrior Headquarters. We drop onto a parking lot a few hundred feet away. A pair of Debs is moving toward the building, and a few others are coming out of their nearby dorms.

“You’ll have to be extra careful Lexie; they all have your picture. Yes, you look different but they’ll be expecting that.”

I almost think they deserve to capture me if they can recognize me like this.

“We won’t be able to go into the building with you. They’ll be scanning ID’s,” Ty says. “Here’s yours.”

“Jasmine,” I say, securing her ID car around my wrist. Somehow my mom made me look exactly like the photo on the ID bracelet.

“We’ll be near the gates when you come out. If anything goes wrong, press the panic button, we’ll hear it.”

I force my trembling hands to my side. “I’ve got this.”

Ty escorts me to the line of Debs making their way to the warehouse, his demeanor suddenly stern. “Get in line, Deb,” he says. I wish I could have one more hug before we part, but that would definitely draw too much attention. With my head lowered, I let the folds of my cloak veil my face. My head might be down but my eyes are darting from side to side, taking in every detail. Two large hover trucks zoom by, their beds filled with nervous looking Debs. My picture is flashing from several wanted posters. There is an obscene amount of money being offered for any information on my location. I lower my head even more and wipe my palms on my uniform.

When I approach the ID check, I show my wrist and hold my breath as it scans. I hurry through the opening door, barely making it inside before it closes behind me with a final thud. I realize I’m past the point of no return, and I’m all alone. I’m momentarily paralyzed by doubt and fear.

The gate swinging open for the next Deb urges me forward and my pulse thuds in my ears as I follow the other Debs into the building. The rebellion has done a good job with my disguise; my uniform, hair color and even the choice of scar tats fit right in. Using the map I memorized, I follow the corridors until I’m outside the storage room. I follow the lead of the girl in front of me, picking up a tablet and scanning my ID before entering.

At the guard station, one approaches me. “New?”

My throat closes. I hadn’t been prepared to be questioned. I keep my eyes averted and nod.

“Who are you replacing?”

My mind reels. Do they actually know the Debs’ names here? Usually we’re simply numbers. My dad didn’t supply me with this information so I spit out the most common name I can think of. “Mary.”

I stare at my toes and resist the urge to fidget. Only a few weeks ago this was my life, never making eye contact, being submissive. I’d forgotten how it made my skin feel too tight, like it’d shrunken around my bones.

He pulls up a picture of me, the same one from the posters outside, and my heart rate doubles. I swallow hard. He examines the picture, then me, before finally stepping aside. I can feel him watching me as I go. Had there been a Mary? With a deep breath I count in my head to make sure my steps aren’t hurried.

The main room reminds me of one of the old food stores the rebellion often met in, only larger, bigger than the academy auditorium. Rows of shelves fill the enormous space. Instead of dusty bottles and cans, the shelves are covered in weapons, electronic gadgets, and objects I don’t even recognize. I pretend to count and make notations, while carefully making my way to the section where the thorocium is stored.

In the back corner, a small alcove contains the metal in stacks on the floor. The little rectangles are exactly as the scientist described them, about the size of a deck of cards. It’s hard to believe these unassuming little slabs are what I’ve been training for months to steal. Checking to make sure I’m alone, I enter the niche and set down my tablet. I rip open the specially made uniform to access the carrier underneath. Its gray matches the color of my uniform exactly.

I almost lose my balance when I pick up the first rectangle of thorocium because it’s far heavier than it looks. I drop it into the front left pouch and it threatens to drag me to the floor. Although I’d practiced for months, they’re still heavy. I’m prying up the next piece when I hear footsteps. I turn my head and a Val is coming my way.

I drop to my knees and the piece I’d been lifting falls onto my hand. I bite down hard on my tongue, quelling my scream. My hand is turning white from the lack of blood flow. The pain is intense but the bone doesn’t break. I guess I have Carter to thank for that. They healed stronger after he broke them so many times.

I pull my hand out, wiggling my fingers, trying to restart my circulation, and cover the rectangle with my uninjured hand. My other hand fumbles with my uniform, concealing the carrier. I lower my forehead almost to the floor as the Val approaches, both to appear humble and to hide the metal and carrier.

If he questions me, I’m certain to be discovered. Memories of my previous capture, of the tortures I endured inside the lab threaten to swamp me as the squeak of his shoes draws nearer. Nervous sweat prickles the back of my neck, slipping down my spine.

The man stops a few feet short of me, and I force my lungs to work. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.

The only sounds I hear in the cavernous room are my raspy gasps of air. He’s silent. Too silent. What’s he waiting for?

Unable to bear the tension, I peek up at him. He pulls a shiny box off a nearby shelf and barely looks at me before barking, “Back to work, Deb.”

I almost laugh in relief. When he’s out of sight, I rise to my knees so fast I feel lightheaded. I stand and pretend to count inventory for a few seconds, and then slip another thin plate of metal into a pocket. No one else comes by again and soon the thorocium is secured tightly in the pouches, two in front and two in back. Every step is labored as I finish out Jasmine’s shift.

When the whistles chime, I’m sweating and gritting my teeth. Even with all of the practice, these things are heavy. I scan myself out and turn in my tablet as I exit. When I pass the guard station again the same Val is eyeing me. My heart flutters like a caged bird when he stops me again.

“There was no Mary in this shift.”

My shoulders are aching from their burden and sweat is seeping through my uniform. “They didn’t tell me her name. Just that I had an opportunity to work for higher pay.”

“Then why say her name was Mary?”

My arms are shaking; hopefully it just looks like fear. “I was afraid I’d be asked to leave.”

He considers me and my fingers are slowly itching toward the emergency button. “You
will
be if you lie again. I’m writing you up, give me your ID again.”

How good is my dad’s ID? Will it stand up to scrutiny? I hold out my arm, biting my tongue.

“You’ve earned a demerit. It takes ten credits from your pay. One more and you’re out without a reference.”

I dip my head and walk when he lets me pass. I feel a twitch in my cheek, then another. The muscles in my face spasm. Blasted Stars! My nose and cheeks have already started healing themselves. I’ve got to get out of here. I’m almost out the doors when a hand grabs my elbow.

Reminding myself of the part I’m playing I come to an immediate halt.

“Look at me, Deb.”

My eyes raise and then they widen when I see Carter staring at me. Blasted stars! I swallow hard, and a vivid flashback hits me, him breaking my bones one by one.

He swears. “I knew it.”

Does he know it’s me? How?

“Your disguise is fading,” he says, as if reading my thoughts. “I didn’t recognize you when you went in but I do now.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Get myself killed apparently. Whatever you’re doing, go. Right now. But don’t ever come back.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“That look, the one on your face when you recognized me? I see it every night in my dreams.” His fingers tighten on his weapon. “I can’t forget the sound of your bones breaking, or get the images out of my head. This is my way of apologizing. Believe me when I say it isn’t enough.”

I’m almost afraid to move, to turn my back on him.

“Don’t come back. They have search teams out. It isn’t a good time to be a Deb. Our leaders are sure they’re hiding you. And even more afraid there might be more like you.”

“What?”

“Go, before I change my mind.”

And I do but I can feel him watching me. When I’m finally able to blend in with the rest of the crowd my nerves calm. I reach the path to the rendezvous point and turn away from the campus.

Peering back over my shoulder, I spot a large group of Debs being herded at gunpoint by several dozen Vals. An Orion is with them too. I miss a step when a female Deb stumbles and the nearest Val opens fire on her. I’m suddenly sick at the sight of the bullet tearing through the flesh, the splatter of blood on the ground.

Is this because of me? Would it stop if I surrendered? I halt and almost turn back until I remember that the only way to truly free the Debs is to see this through.

Ty appears at my side. “Don’t, Lex. All you’ll do is get us both killed. We need you.”

With a shaky breath, I nod and follow him toward our rendezvous point. Each step feels heavier than it should be, and it’s not the weight of the metal but the pain of watching people die because of me. How many more will? The miles are hard and my feet leave deep marks in the snow.

The hoverbus is waiting where it’s supposed to be. My dad closes his eyes, his body visibly relaxing when he sees me. I slip off the modified uniform, leaving me in a pair of slacks, a t-shirt, and the carrier. Dad and Ty each grab a side and lift it over my head. I feel so unburdened it’s like I’m floating. I stretch, relishing in the freedom. They set the carrier on the ground and my dad pulls me into a hug.

“You’ll need a new ID if I have to go back in,” I say. “One of the guards was suspicious of me.”

“I figured you’d draw attention, being new, but it doesn’t matter. I have plenty of ID’s for you.”

“I also got made by Carter.”

My dad pulls back to look at me. “And he let you go?”

“Why?” Ty asks.

“Said he can’t forget what he did to me.”

“I can understand that,” Ty says softly. He kicks at the dirt.

“Did you know they’re searching through the Debs for me?”

My dad grimaces. “Yes, they’ve become extreme.”

“We’ve got to strike soon, Dad. I can’t stand to think of people dying for me.”

He puts a hand on my shoulder. “We will.”

I roll out my shoulders, enjoying the cold air on my sweaty skin.

A Vals come over and squats down to hoist the carrier from the ground. “This is heavy,” he complains when it doesn’t budge.

“Yeah, and my little Deb sister carried it all the way here.” Ty scoffs. “Too heavy? Need her to carry it for you?”

He glares at Ty. “I can do anything she can do.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Ian,” Ty says with a laugh.

“I can,” Ian says.

“Dad,” Ty says. “Ian here says he wants to carry it all by himself.”

I bite back a smile at Ty’s friendly teasing.

Ian regrips and lifts, getting the carrier a few inches off the ground but sets it right back down. “Fine. I can’t,” he says with a burst of laughter.