Stronger Than Ever (My Best Friend) (8 page)

He walked out of the kitchen with Angel
behind him
. “You could’ve fooled me.”

She
followed
. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

He stared at her. “Nothing, Kay. Let’s sit and eat breakfast.”

She kept quiet for now. She smiled at Angel. “Thank you, sweetie. You did such a great job.”

Angel smiled. “You’re welcome, Mommy.”

They
started
eating and enjoying their chocolate pancakes with orange juice. Angel kept talking about how much fun she had at the park with her grandma. She had chocolate all over her fac
e, and
Jason wiped it up with a napkin.

“Miss Angel, Uncle John and Amy want to take you to the zoo with Johnny. Would you like to go with them?”

“Yeah. I love baby Johnny.”

On Saturdays, they usually spent the day together doing family stuff, like going to the park, the zoo, a museum, or anything they could do together, but today Jason did not feel like going out. He just wanted to stay home and rest.

Kay
was
clearing the table. She looked at Angel. “Sweetie, you can go to your room and play. I’ll come and help you get dressed.”

Angel ran out of the dining room. Jason stood up to leave when Kay turned to him. “Please wait. We need to talk.” She walked
over to
him. “What’s wrong? Where is this hostility
toward
me coming from?”

He stopped and stared at her. “I’m just tired of waking up alone, Kay.”

She took his hand. “I’m sorry. I fell asleep working last night. I have a big project due in a couple of days. There is nothing wrong with me.”

“Kay, that’s always your excuse. You need to come up with a new one. You do remember you have a husband?” He kissed her on the cheek and left the room.

***

Kay closed the door and walked
to
t
he backyard, where Jason was swimming in the pool they’d added about a year before. She sat down on the lounge chair and stared at him, admiring his beautiful lean muscular body, his biceps, abs and legs. She felt herself
starting
to get moist. She missed making love to him, but every time she got an urge, she remembered the way that asshole had touched her and she would just pull away and freeze. No, he hadn’t raped her, but the memory of his hands all over her drove her insane. She knew if she didn’t deal with her issues Jason would find someone who would be more than willing to supply his needs, someone like Susan or Carla.
I need to deal with this before it tears my marriage apart
.

Jason swam to the edge of the pool and looked up at her. “Join me.” He extended his hands.

Kay looked down at him. “I don’t have on a swim suit.”

“Take off your dress. Angel is not home,” he said, pleading with his eyes.

She stood up, pulled the dress over her head, left her bra and panties on and walked to the side of the pool where Jason was waiting for her. She sat down and helped her into the pool. He grabbed her.

“Relax.” He rub
bed
her stomach.

She looked into his baby blues. “What do you think we’re having?”

“Do you want the politically correct answer, or my honest answer?”

She smiled. “Be honest.”

He pulled her closer. “I want another girl that looks just like you with your beautiful brown skin.” He kissed her nose.

“Well, I think we’re having a boy. He is going to look like you.” She wiped the water off his brows. “Angel already favors me.”

His hands tightened around her waist and he whispered, “I’ve missed you,” followed by a series of fluttery kisses. She opened for him, the kiss g
o
t deeper. He touched her, but she pulled away from him.

All the memories flashed back from her attack.

He grabbed her wrist. “Don’t do this, Kay. Talk to me.”

She pulled away, got out of the pool and picked her dress up from the floor, but before she walked into the house, he yelled.

“Kay, don’t walk away from me.”

She went to their bedroom, taking off her underwear on the way to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and jumped in.
I’m going to lose him
.

***

Half an hour later Jason walked into the bedroom where Kay was sleeping. She looked so peaceful. Pregnancy brought out more beauty in her, if that were even possible. He walked into the bathroom and jumped into the shower. He needed a cold shower. He remember
ed
the last time they made lov
e
. T
he memory got him hard, and
he grabbed his dick and strok
ed it
,
slow, and then fast, the orgasm hit him hard and fast. He stepped out the shower, put on boxers and sweatpants and walk
ed
over to the bed and lay down beside her. He wiped her tears, kissed her on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her chest and stomach. She felt so sof
t.
H
e missed touching and making love to her. “Talk to me, Kay. We can get through anything together
.
”

“I know we can. I’m just afraid you won’t understand. You’ll eventually leave me.”

“I will never leave you, Kay,” he
whispered
in her ear. “You can always count on me, baby.”

“I know I can count on you.”

“Then talk to me.” He turned her face to face him.

“I still have nightmares about that
day
. I can’t even pump gas without having a breakdown. I’m always nervous, even at the grocery store
,” she paused
. “Every time you touch me intimately, I feel his hands all over me.”
She stopped looking at him
. “On your birthday at my office you didn’t notice, but I was shaking like a leaf. I wanted you so bad, but the memories just kept coming. He’s still out there. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder.”

“Baby, look at me.” She stared into his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve dealt with it. We can go see a therapist, baby, all you had to do is talk to me. You can always depend on me.”

“I don’t want to see a therapist. I just need to feel you, not him,” she pleaded. “I want you to make love to me, make me forget.”

He caressed her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “I love you, Kay. I will do anything you want me to, but I think we need to go see a therapist. I don’t think making love is going to fix this. Let’s start slow. Let me hold you.”

***

Mrs. Brenda Reese was a tall African-American woman who’d been recommended to them by Kay’s doctor. Kay watched as Mrs. Reese called Jason into her office and asked him to sit next to Kay.

She offered a gentle smile with her next words. “Kay, why don’t you share with Jason what you just told me?”

Kay was quite for a second, she took a deep breath closing her eyes and started telling what happened during her attack and what she was feeling, her sense of guilt, shame, nightmares and how she tried to handle it on her own, but she finally realized that she needed help. Kay looked over at Jason and told him
,
how she felt it was her fault, she was afraid that he would leave her. She said that the pregnancy helped her, when she felt down
,
she
thought of what she had and would pull forward.

While she was talking, Jason tried not to show emotions, he just held her hand. He remembered what
Mrs. Reese told him try to keep your feelings about the rape to a minimal, don’t show aggressiveness and you need to allow your words and answers to be addressed as gently as possible. Your job for the time being is to be a wonderful listener, the recovery process might be short or long, it’s up to Kay, because everyone handles situations differently. She needs to feel protected and secure
. He told Mrs. Reese how he felt, the anger, rage and the shame of not been there to protect her. The therapist explained to him that it wasn’t his fault. She told him they
would
come out stronger than they
started.

He whispered in her ear. “Kay I love you. I’m always here for you no matter what. It wasn’t your fault.”

She squeezed his hand, and stopped talking, turned and looked at him. “I know. You’ve never let me down. It wasn’t your fault either.”

During the next couple sessions Kay and Jason deal
t
with what happened to her. She learned to open up to Jason again and tell him everything she was feeling. She also opened up about the abuse she suffered at Tommy’s hands, even though it happened once, it had scared her. The nightmares were gone and she finally allowed Jason to hold her, kiss her without feeling sick, or guilty. She was finally
starting
to be normal again. She took control of her life, and her attacker wouldn’t win.

About a month later, early evening

“Close your eyes, Kay, and listen to my voice.” Jason
whispered
in
her ear, leaning over her, kissing her nose. “I love your mind”—he kissed her eyes—“your body”—kissed her lips gently—“and your soul.” He grabbed her hands and entwined their fingers. “I will never intentionally hurt you. Do you trust me?”

She whispered. “Yes.”

“Now open your eyes and look at me. It’s just you and me. We’re going to make new memories together.” He look
ed
at her close eyes.

Kay opened her eyes. “Thank you for loving me.” She leaned forward and kissed his soft lips. “I love you, Jason. It’s been too long. Make love to me.”

“I’ve missed you,” he said before devouring her lips, he pulled away. “Are you okay?”

She nodded and cupped his face with her hand. She
pulled
him into a hot, passionate kiss, taking control of his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip. “I need you.”

He
leaned
away again. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Yes, I’m ready
.
”
S
he
caressed his lips with her fingers.
“I only see and feel you.” They gazed into each other’s eyes.

He g
ave
her gentle kisses as she parted her lips for him, and slowly making love with their tongues. He
pulled
slightly away and kiss
ed
her earlobe and neck.

She moaned. “Jason.”

“I’m going to take it slow,” he said, making his way to her right breast, kissing and nibbling on it, and then giving the left one the same treatment. “Feel me.”

She moaned in pleasure, holding his head closer to her breast, begging him silently to continue.
He lick
ed
from between her breasts to her navel, planted tiny feather kisses on her stomach.
My baby
, he thought. She arched her body toward him, begging him for what she knew came next. He cradled himself between her legs, and
look
ed
up at her
.
“Baby, if you’re not ready, I’ll stop right now.”

She
gazed
back. “Jason, I’m so ready.”

“I’ve missed your sweet taste.” Smiling, he looked up at her
, and saw
fire in h
er
sparkling brown
eyes. He spread her legs and wrapped them over his shoulder.

He gently licked her inner thighs and she moaned. She opened her legs wider, begging for his touch. He nibbled at her clit and looked up into her eyes, which were filled with pure ecstasy. She grabbed his hair and pulled him closer to her core. Her head was nodding from side to side. Jason grabbed her hips to prevent her from moving.

She moaned. “I’m coming, baby.”

He
sucked
her clit one last time and she burst into his mouth. He
licked
all her juices before coming back up to her breasts and sucking them. He finally made it to her lips. “God, I’ve missed you.”

She moved forward, grabbing his face and kissed him passionately, letting him know how much she wanted him. He laid down on his back and helped her get on top of him. His hands roamed up and down her thighs as she straddled him. He placed the head of his dick in her opening. She gasped for air and they both stopped moving. The feeling was overwhelming. He couldn’t take it anymore and
began
thrusting into her slowly. Kay followed his lead, making love to a silent song.

“Look at me,” he said.

He stared into her brown eyes with all the passion and love he was
feeling
.
It seemed
like he could see into her soul.