Stronger (The Unit Book 2) (20 page)

“I haven’t moved on yet. You have to know that. I still grieve you every day,” he begged her to believe him.

“Being here has allowed me to watch you and know your heart. I know how painful my death has been to you. I have suffered here, unable to move on, because you keep me here.”

“Do you want to move on Lizzie?”

“We both have to. You have to make a choice. You can come with me and we can move on together, or you can live your life. A life I have always wanted for you. A life with Lola,” Lizzie offered.

Could it be true? Could he go with her right here, right now? But what would that do to Lola?

“Since you found Lola, you have found a reason to live.”

“What do you want Lizzie? What do you want me to do? Tell me and I will do it. I will give Lola up to be with you, you know I would.”

“I know. But that is not what I want for you. I want you to stay with her. I want you to live a full life and experience everything we always dreamed of experiencing.”

“But don’t you see. That’s the problem. They were
our
dreams. How can I share our dreams with another?” Rob sobbed.

“You can raise a family with her.”

“You know how I’m scared shitless at the thought of being responsible for someone so small. What if someone took my child in exchange for ransom like they did with you? I would die. And God forbid anyone hurt my child, I would never see him or her again because I would be in jail or dead,” Rob emphasized.

“But you want one.”

“You know I could never give you an answer one way or the other,” he confessed as he choked back the sob that was threatening.

“You love Lola. I can feel it, Rob. You love me, too. But you have to let me go. You have to see what can become of you and Lola. I don’t want you to give up living just to be with me.”

“You don’t want to be with me?” he questioned.

“That’s not it. You know I will always love you. From now until eternity. But with love comes sacrifice. I would rather you live,” she whispered holding his face between her palms.

He leaned in and kissed her again. He savored the feel of her lips on his. He savored her taste. He savored her labored breathing upon his face.

“So where are we?” he asked.

“We are in between. We are where I have been since I died. You won’t let me go so I am forced to stay here. When you let me go, when you move on, you will set me free.”

“Do you want me to let you go?”

“I know you will always love me. I know because I know your heart. But what you have with Lola is special and different. Not better or worse, just different. You need to be with her. You need to let me go. You need to live,” she reassured him with a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“But how do I do it? I have never been able to figure out how to let you go.”

“We say goodbye. Right here and right now.”

“I’m not ready. Can’t we at least stay and have this drink together like old times.”

“Will you choose life?” she asked still uncertain of his answer.

“I need to think about it. Will you stay with me while I think about it?” he begged of her.

“There is no place I would rather be.” She smiled and it was his undoing. He bent his head forward and rested it in her lap. She gently stroked his hair while she reassured him it would be okay. She kissed the back of his head. He raised it and brought his tear stained face to her lips again. He could never get enough of his Lizzie.

“We have until the sun sets. Then you must make your decision,” she informed him.

He stood up and resumed his position in the patio chair opposite her. He picked up his Coors Light and tilted it towards his lips. He gulped down a swallow. Silent, thoughtful tears continued to run down his face. Could he say goodbye to Lizzie and mean it? Could he really have a life with a woman as good as Lola? He knew he didn’t deserve either woman. Still he had a choice to make. He could chose to die and spend eternity with Lizzie, or he could chose life and see what he could build with Lola. He did want to continue his work, albeit dangerous. It was the only thing he knew. He didn’t know how Lola felt about that. He would never know if he chose Lizzie. Lola saved him. He owed her everything. What would it do to her if he died?

“I know your heart,” Lizzie said breaking the silence. “I want what you want.”

“You know Lola saved me?”

“Yes. I know that you want to be with her, and I’m okay with that. It’s time to let me go. You can’t have us both. And since I’m dead,” she said smiling, “I think we know what your choice must be.”

“You really want me to let you go?” He just couldn’t believe she would ever want him to let her go. They had a deep love. She was to be his wife.

“I want you to let me go for two reasons. One, so you can stop tormenting yourself. So you no longer feel the guilt over my death.”

“I will always feel guilt over not being able to save you. That will never go away.”

“Yes, but in time, and with Lola’s help, you will learn to forgive yourself.”

“And the second reason?”

“I want to move on. I’m tired of being stuck here. Where I am going, I will still be able to watch over you, like a guardian angel. I heard it’s beautiful on the other side, and I can’t wait to see it.”

Rob gazed at the horizon as the dark closed in around him. “So this is really it? We are saying goodbye.”

“I think it’s long overdue,” she said with a reassuring smile. They stood and walked to meet each other in the middle of the table. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him until he could feel her pressed up against him.

“This is the last time I am going to feel you. The last time I am going to kiss you. You’re right. I have to live. I can’t give up, not even for you.”

“I knew you would see it my way,” she bantered, a reassuring smile playing on her lips. He looked her directly in the eyes as his glistened with unshed tears. “Goodbye Lizzie,” he exhaled swallowing the lump that rose in this throat.

“Goodbye Rob. I love you. Go. Live and let yourself be loved. Do it for me,” she said smiling up at him. He brought his lips to hers for a final, goodbye kiss. He kissed her with his entire being. He felt goose bumps line his arms. This was it; this was his last kiss with Lizzie, and he was damn lucky to be getting it. He opened his mouth and begged permission to enter hers with his tongue. She granted him permission and they kissed, open mouth, passionately until the sun finally set and the porch light no longer shone.

Lola had Rob’s hand in hers waiting for any sign of movement. She had her forehead rested against their joined hands as she sat by his bedside in the uncomfortable chair. He had to wake up. He had to.

Lola recounted the moments in the hut in her mind. Those moments were the worst of her life. When she was in the hut, she heard the click of the gun, she thought she was dead, but she felt nothing. She heard a louder gun shot, one that pierced her ears. She turned at the sound and saw Rob fall to the ground. Tony was in the hut the second Rob hit the ground, and he shot that bastard Ortiz right in the head. She heard his round body hit the floor. She saw the blood flow from his head and mingle with the dirt on the floor. Then her shocked gaze turned to Rob. Rob lied there, unmoving, blood pooling from his head. The smell of so much blood had turned her stomach. The sight of the man she loved, her warrior, dead on the ground was too much.

Tony didn’t have to shoot the doctor as he was on his knees surrendering to Tony. She heard Tony speak into his radio.

“Rob’s down.” That was all he said as he approached her trembling body. She was in shock. “What’s going on?” she asked, confused.

“Rob’s been shot and you’re in shock, sweetheart,” Tony said with the utmost care. She felt lightheaded like she was going to faint. She couldn’t pass out now; she had to get to Rob.

Tony knew he had to get care for Lola and for Rob. He went to Rob and she scrambled, on her knees, to kneel beside him. She cradled Rob in her arms and said, “No. No. No,” over and over again as the tears streamed down her face. She was having his baby. He couldn’t die now. Within two minutes, the rest of the team was in the hut, and Tony was dragging her from Rob’s lifeless body. Other than Rob, Tyrrell was the only one with medical training. Tyrrell examined Rob and determined the bullet grazed his head. When they lifted Rob to carry him back to the RV, they noticed he had fallen on a large piece of rock which laid flat with the compact dirt floor. They deduced he must have hit his head on the rock and knocked himself unconscious.

A day and a half later they were back in Lewiston, and Rob was still unconscious. The doctor entered the room to examine Rob. He lifted his eyelids and shone a pen light into his eyes looking for dilation. When his eyes didn’t dilate, he looked at Lola who was now sitting at full attention.

“What is it?” Lola whispered to the doctor.

“The CT scan we did yesterday shows a subdural hematoma. There is swelling of the subdural tissue which is currently pressing on his brain. He will probably be unconscious until the swelling subsides.”

“How long will that take?” she asked breathless. He had to wake up soon; they had a lot to talk about.

“He could wake up in a week or in an hour. The CT scan showed rather severe swelling,” he said in his most comforting voice.

Great, no definitive answers. She hadn’t called her father or her friends. The second they disembarked the airplane, she was with the men as they rushed Rob to Lewistown General Hospital. They arrived yesterday and for most of the day, they conducted test after test on Rob. When they finally determined the cause of his state, they admitted him to the room. Lola had lied and said she was his fiancée so she would be able to stay with him. She had promised him she would be there for him, and she had meant it.

Yesterday and today gave her a great deal of time to think. Rob had saved her life, twice. Once from the unknown of being sold into slavery and a second time from being killed. He didn’t know it, but he had also saved the life of their unborn child.

She needed to see a doctor. After Rob woke up, she would make an appointment. She wanted him there every step of the way with her. She didn’t know if he wanted children. Having a child would mean he would have to change his lifestyle. She didn’t know if she could be with someone who put his life on the line all of the time, but that was who he was, and if that is what he wanted for himself, she had to trust he would always come back to her. If she was honest with herself, the dangerous aspect of his job was a major turn on for her. But the more she felt for Rob, the harder his job was to accept. What would Rob say? If only he would wake up. Before she told him she was pregnant, she had to talk to him about what ‘being his’ meant. She had to tell him she would never live under any man’s thumb. Ever again. Not like she did growing up under her father’s roof. She would have her freedom and if they couldn’t agree on that, then she would have to say goodbye to him and raise their baby on her own. She wouldn’t let this child be used to control her. She didn’t think Rob meant to keep her under his thumb, but she had to make sure.

The worst part of all of this was before she found out she was pregnant, she was falling in love with Rob; knowing she was having his baby cemented her love, cemented her to him.

∞

Rob heard people talking as if they were in another room. He heard whispers but couldn’t make out the words. The last thing he remembered was kissing Lizzie goodbye. He blinked once, but the light hurts his eyes and his head throbbed. Where was he? He wasn’t with Lizzie anymore. He had said his goodbye. He blinked again. “Lola,” he spoke through a dry mouth and throat. It sounded more like a croak then a word.

“I’m here, Baby. Open your eyes.”

“Lola,” he said again feeling her squeezing his hand. He blinked in rapid succession slowly bringing himself back into consciousness.

“Oh thank God,” Lola whispered as she flung herself into his arms. He raised his arms and hugged her. “I was so scared. I thought I lost you,” she cried into his chest. “I heard the gun shot and thought for sure you were gone.”

“What happened?” Rob asked confused. He could still see his goodbye with Lizzie so clearly in his mind.

“You saved my life. Again. Then Ortiz shot you and you fell and hit your head on a rock. It knocked you unconscious. You have swelling in your brain.”

“How long have I been out?” he asked even more confused.

“Three days. It took us a day to get you here. You’re at Lewistown General.”

He thought back and the cloud from his mind began to dissipate. He tried to sit up forcefully. “Ortiz, he was going to kill you. There was a man with a gun pointed at your head.” She pushed him back down to a lying position.

“You mustn’t get up until the doctor says it’s okay,” she warned. He pulled her to him and held her tighter.

“Yes, but you killed him and then Ortiz shot you,” Lola explained trying to ease his confusion.

“How did you escape Ortiz?”

“Tony. He was in the room the second your body hit the ground.” Rob looked around the room for the brother who saved his life and the life of the woman who gave his back to him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Where is Tony?” Rob asked.

“He’s waiting in the waiting room. They won’t let anyone but family back until you’re awake.”

“Then how are you here?” he asked a smile playing on his lips. He knew she would have fabricated some story to stay by his side; he just knew it.

“I told them I was your fiancée,” she said hanging her head in shame.

He reached under her chin and brought her eyes up to meet his. “Well, I am glad you were the first thing I saw when I woke up,” he said placing a gentle kiss against her lips. “Can I have some water?”

“Of course.” She hurried to fill the plastic cup with some water and handed it to him. The cold liquid felt so good going over his dry mouth and down his parched throat.

“We have a lot to talk about, but I don’t want to rush you,” Lola announced to Rob.