Stronger (The Unit Book 2) (23 page)

“Sure.” He playfully nuzzled her neck and she pulled away from him.

“This is serious Rob. I need to have a serious talk with you.”

“Sure. Lead the way.” Rob followed Lola to the back bedroom they had claimed as theirs for the next day.

Lola held the door open for Rob and waited for him to enter before shutting and locking the door.

“What’s wrong, Love? You’re scaring me again. All these serious conversations,” he cooed as he playfully pulled her to him to kiss her lips. She let his lips linger and eventually gave into his passion and kissed him back.

She pressed both hands on his hard chest and pushed him back at the same time she pulled from his body. She had to have a clear head to have this conversation.

“You better sit down,” she said as she motioned to the bed for him to sit.

Lola began pacing back and forth as she twisted her fingers with her hand. She caught herself and smoothed her shirt flat against her body. She cleared her throat trying to gather her courage to say what needed to be said.

She went to the door of the room, far away from the bed, to distance herself physically from his reaction, not that she thought he would physically hurt her. She brought her hand up to her lips and tugged on her bottom one. She left her hand there as she began to speak. “Look, I know we,” she gestured between the two of them with her free hand, “are new to this relationship. I know what you went through letting Lizzie go to attempt a relationship with me. And what I have to tell you could ruin it.”

Rob was immediately standing and closing the distance between them. She struggled free of his hold and moved to the other side of the room. She turned to face him, her face feeling aflame.

“Now you are seriously scaring me. Tell me you aren’t leaving me. Tell me we can work out the distance thing,” he pleaded, hoping to calm her and bring back the Lola he knew and loved. The fearless woman who stomped on the foot of a killer and kneed him in the balls. This frightened and insecure Lola was scaring the shit out of him.

She was going to have to say it. As Rob approached her, she held out her hand to stop him. “Rob, I’m pregnant.”

Stunned, he plopped himself on the bed unable to stand. Of all the things she could have said, being pregnant wasn’t on his radar. He had used protection, how was this even possible?

“But I used a condom?” he croaked rubbing his forearm with his hand.

“I don’t know, Rob. It must have broke. You were my first.” His words were not the words that would lead her to her dream. She would give him the benefit of the doubt and let him process. She didn’t like his reaction so far.

“I’ll leave you alone with your thoughts. When you’re ready come and get me.” She hurried to the door. She had to get out of the room as the walls were closing in on her. He wasn’t happy. If anything he looked devastated. She hurried down the hallway to the bathroom. She was going to be sick. Rob didn’t want this baby. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him think about it. The thoughts plagued her mind. Raising a baby by herself. Harvard was her father’s dream. She wanted a family and a husband. She wanted nothing more than to stay home and devote every waking hour to her family. Now the dreams of a family, a family with Rob were in jeopardy. She gave herself to him, and he had given her the gift of a child. No matter what he decided, she was in love with him and probably always would be.

When she was done throwing up, she wiped her hand with the toilet paper she had gathered. She stepped to the sink to rinse her mouth, and furiously brush her teeth to remove the taste. It had become a ritual over the last two weeks. Of course, being held prisoner, she had to deal with the taste, no toothbrush. She finished and placed her toothbrush back on the sink. She reached for the door knob and opened the door quickly to find Rob, head hung staring at his feet, as she did so.

“You ready?” she asked sensing what his reaction was going to be. He wasn’t happy, which is the only reaction she would have accepted from him.

She padded down the hallway to the bedroom and sat on the bed. Her hard part was over, now it was Rob’s turn.

“You have options,” he said looking at her with dead grey eyes.

She stood and stalked Rob. When she reached him, she struck him across his face leaving her handprint. “The only option I am considering is keeping this baby, Rob,” she spat she was so angry. Her eyes were hard. She tightened her eyes to look at him in disgust.

“That’s all you have to say? I have options?” Her voice raised an octave. “I have to get out of here,” she said racing towards the door.

Rob stood there, hand to his face, where she had slapped him. He had just let the woman he was in love with down. And worse, he just let her walk right out of his life.

Lola raced down the hallway barging into Tyrrell’s office. “Can I use your phone?” she asked as sobs racked her body. She was racing away from the only man she was ever in love with. But how could she stay?

“Are you okay?” Tyrrell asked.

“No. And I need to go home now,” she said anger raging through her body.

“Sure,” he said as he turned his phone around and pushed it to Lola’s side of the desk. Rob hadn’t even come after her. She was supposed to be his. She shook her head and dialed her father’s airline for reservations to Boston.

“I need the first flight out to Boston,” she said into the phone.

“That will be fine.” She covered the receiver with her hand and looked at Tyrrell with tear filled eyes. “Can you give me a ride to the airport?”

“Sure. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

She nodded her head as tears streamed down her face. “I’ll be there. Thank you,” she sobbed. She walked back to the room expecting to find Rob still there, but he was gone. Figures, when she really needed him, he disappeared. She threw her things in her bag and stomped back to Tyrrell’s office. “I’m ready.”

“Sure. One minute.” Tyrrell grabbed his gun and tucked into his holster before grabbing his suit coat from the back of his chair.

“Ready?” he asked her motioning for her to lead the way.

Tyrrell followed her out of Blackrain Security and drove her to the airport.

Rob sat in the dimly lit room. The full moon was shining through the open curtains. He stared at the moon with a bottle of scotch in his hand. Bringing his hand to his mouth, he took a swig from the bottle and felt the smooth burn as the liquid traveled down his throat.

His head was heavy and rested in his hand. He kept thinking over and over of letting Lola walk out of his life. He let her go. Why? Was he that much of a coward? She was pregnant with his child. His child. What would be like to hold his child in his arms? He never wanted one, but now it was different. He had no choice, he was going to have a child out in the big bad world that belonged to him and the love of his life. Lola. Now it was thoughts of Lola that plagued his mind. She was all he could think about. He missed her smell, her taste, her touch. He missed her bold attitude and the way she kissed him. He realized now he was deeply in love with her. But what could he do; he couldn’t put a child in danger’s path. And that is exactly what he would be doing by claiming his child. He had to let her go. He had to let the love of his life and his child go for their own safety.

He took another long swallow from the bottle. He placed the bottle on the table next to his chair when he heard pounding on his front door. He considering not answering it but the pounding continued louder than before. Getting up, he ambled his way to the door. Not caring who was on the other side, he yanked to door open.

“You gonna let me in?” Michael asked.

Rob opened the door wider and moved to the side so Michael could enter his home. Rob should be embarrassed by the state of his home, but he wasn’t. He didn’t care about anything at the moment, except his misery over letting Lola go.

Michael strode past Rob into the living room. Eyeing the half empty bottle of scotch on the table, he turned to Rob.

“I heard you were doing better?” he questioned Rob.

“I was,” Rob said as he made his way back to his chair and plopped down.

“What happened? I heard you met an extraordinary woman.”

“I did. I would die for her.”

“Then what the fuck are you doing sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?” Michael cut to the chase.

“You don’t understand, Michael. She’s pregnant,” Rob said devoid of emotion.

Michael met Rob’s cold grey eyes. He knew Rob was hurting. He had missed a great deal in the weeks he had been gone on his honeymoon.

“Do you love her?” Michael needed the answer to this question in order to know which direction to proceed. Michael had a good feeling he knew the answer to the question, but getting Rob to admit it to him was half the battle.

“I am in love with her. Have been since the moment I laid eyes on her. She touched me instantly, in a way no one ever has.”

Michael raised his eyebrows and his eyes went wide at the statement. When he left he was still reeling over the guilt of losing Lizzie. Whoever this woman was, Rob had to get her back. Whatever it took. She was good for his friend.

“What about Lizzie? I thought you were still in love.”

Rob told Michael about what happened with Lizzie while he was unconscious in the hospital. At the end of the story, Michael stood and began to pace.

“Why did you let her go? She’s carrying your child!” Michael didn’t understand. When Emma became pregnant, which they were working on, he would be the happiest man alive.

“I would never admit this to anyone but you or Tony, but I’m scared shitless. What if someone uses my child against me while on a mission? What if someone hurts my child? You know I would lose my shit and start killing people. What good would I be to Lola or my child if I’m in jail or dead? What if I wasn’t a good father? My father left my mother when I was an infant. You know how my mother struggled raising me.” Rob confessed feeling a little freer.

“Exactly! You want to do the same thing to your child? Leave him before he is even born?” Michael reasoned.

Rob took another long swallow from the bottle. Walking straight to Rob, Michael snatched the bottle out of his hand and went to the kitchen. He knew Rob would be pissed, but he would get over it. Pouring the contents of the bottle down the sink, he threw the empty bottle into the trash can and found the coffee filters. He placed grounds in the basket and water in the coffee pot. He waited until a cup had brewed before pouring a strong, black cup for Rob. Michael reentered the living room with coffee in hand. “Here, you need to be sober. You need to know without booze clouding your judgment, exactly what you are throwing away,” Michael chided.

Rob took the coffee from Michael’s extended hand. Making his way to the couch, Michael sat and waited for Rob to drink his coffee before continuing. Once Rob had finished, Michael suggested a cold shower to sober him up.

“I don’t want to feel,” Rob exhaled.

“Afraid of what you might feel? Afraid of facing the fuckwad mistake you made?” Michael wasn’t holding back. Lola was good for Rob and Michael knew it. He just had to get Rob to see it too.

“Fine,” Rob spat as he got to his feet and made his way upstairs.

Michael grabbed the remote control from the table and found the news. Placing the remote back on the table, he made his way into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee. It was going to be a long night.

∞

Appearing dressed in basketball shorts and a t-shirt, Michael knew Rob was sobered by the emotion he saw playing in his eyes. Michael had seen Rob at his absolute lowest after Lizzie died. He had seen Rob cry unashamedly and he was there for him then and he would be there for him now. Michael approached his brother and extended his hand. Rob took it and Michael pulled him into a one-arm hug. Rob took solace in Michael for a moment before pulling back.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Rob asked with a broken voice. “I’m in love with her, but I’m scared shitless.”

“Having a baby is scary as fuck. Emma and I are trying to conceive right now, and I know the fears you feel. But you can’t let the fear hold you back. You ARE having a baby. I assume she is keeping it?”

“When I suggested options, she stormed out,” Rob told his brother.

“Well then, you just have to get her back.”

“You make it sound so easy. I have legitimate fears.”

“Let me ask you a question. Would your life be better or worse with Lola and a baby?”

Rob sat silent for a few moments carefully thinking of the question. In his heart, he knew Lola was the only woman for him. But how did he get over the fears of having a baby?”

“During the time I was with Lola, my life was worth living. She made everything about my life okay. She even helped me work on forgiving myself for not saving Lizzie.”

Looking Rob dead in the eyes, Michael asked, “Why the fuck do you think being without her would be better for you? Why the fuck don’t you want the child you created out of love with this woman. You are going to have a son or daughter that is part of you. Do you really want to miss out on seeing him take his first steps? Hearing him say Dad for the first time?”

“I hadn’t thought about what having a child would be like. I have only thought about the ‘what if’s.’”

“Here is a ‘what if’ for you…What if Lola meets another man who wants to raise your child as his own?” Rob was instantly on his feet. He clenched his fists at his side. He hadn’t given that any thought.

“From what I heard from Tony, Lola is a beautiful woman. It won’t take her long to find a man who won’t abandon her when she needs him the most.”

“What the fuck have I done?” Rob asked hanging his head in his hands. He turned his back on Michael and swallowed down the lump forming in his throat. The gravity of the situation was weighing on him. He couldn’t stand the thought of Lola with another man. But more than that, he couldn’t stand the idea of another man raising his child.

Turning back to face Michael, Rob looked at him with a broken heart. “What the fuck do I do? I can’t let that happen. I want her more than I’m afraid of the ‘what if’s.’ I want my child to know his father. I want to be a part of his life even if she won’t have me back after deserting her in her time of need.”