Stubborn Love (11 page)

Today, 3:01am – Mia

“What made you change your
mind?” Jared eventually asks.

I look at him
questioningly.

“You moved in here
anyway?” he says. “We were together.”

“I know.”

“So I don’t get it Mia? I
mean you kissed me, you slept with me, you moved in with me. Why would you do
that if you thought it was all such a bad idea?” he asks, the confusion
evident.

I run my free hand through
my hair, my other one still in his. “I know, I know,” I tell him, remembering
that amazing first night I did move in with him. God, I’d been so nervous, but
at the same time, so damn excited. Wanting to spend time with Luke, catching up
with him, but at the same time, getting increasingly frustrated being stuck on
the couch with him. And Jared, shit, the kiss he gave me when I first got here
and then staring at me all night, going to bed before me, taunting me as I
pictured him lying in his room, naked and waiting for me. I’d wanted to run in
there after him, but I didn’t, waiting instead until Luke had finally gone to
bed.

I can remember that first
night, so clearly, even now.

I wait until I can hear
the sound of running water coming from Luke’s room. I’ve already had a quick
shower and now I’m standing in the middle of my room, jumping on the spot like
an idiot in nothing but a pair of boxers and a tank. It’s now or never, I think
to myself as I open the door, peering out to check that Luke isn’t for some
reason still watching TV, even though I can hear his shower running.

The coast is clear, so I
switch off the light, close my bedroom door behind me and run over to Jared’s.
Stopping, my hand on the handle, I put my ear against the door, trying to hear
if Jared’s still awake. I’m not sure what I think I’m going to hear, but when I
don’t hear anything, I knock, waiting to see if he’ll answer.

“Yeah?” comes from the
inside.

I turn the handle and push
the door open. Jared is in bed, the side lamp on and the sound of music is
drifting from his speakers. “Can I come in?” I ask, the sight of his bare chest
doing funny things to my stomach.

“Baby,” he says, making my
heart sing. “You don’t have to knock and you don’t have to ask. Get your ass in
here!”

I smile at his bossiness,
realising now that he has been in here, waiting for me, ever since he went to
bed. As I close the door behind me and walk towards him, Jared never takes his
eyes off me and the funny feeling in my stomach only intensifies with every
step closer.

“You may as well take that
off right now,” he says, pointing at me as I start to climb into bed. “Because
I’m only going to do it for you, as soon as you get in here.”

I laugh, a nervous
response to the intense feelings that are only continuing to build inside me.
As I pull back and stand in front of him, I meet Jared’s eyes. The look he’s
giving me nearly sends me to my knees. He is looking at me with nothing but
pure undiluted lust, as though he can’t wait to get his hands on me. I
practically drool at the way he’s staring, my hands shaking slightly and my
heart hammering in my chest. When he looks at me like this, it just makes me
want him, so bad. It also makes me realise I was an idiot to ever think I could
resist him.

And it gives me
confidence, makes me feel beautiful and wanted. So, keeping my eyes firmly
locked on his, I reach down and ever so slowly, lift the tank I’m wearing, up
my body and over my head. As the material covers my face, I hear Jared let out
a moan that is so incredibly sexy; it sends a spike of lust straight through
me. Smiling at him, at the look that’s written all over his face, I throw my
tank on the floor, before sliding my fingers into the waistband of my boxers.

With my eyes still on his,
I slide the boxers slowly down my legs, before stepping out of them, pulling
back the duvet and climbing in beside him. Jared’s arms are instantly wrapped
around me, pulling me up against his warm naked body. I immediately feel just
what my little strip tease did for him and I can’t help but push my hips
against his, grind into him a bit more, just so I can get one of those groans
out of him again.

It works, the low, sexy
growl escaping from his lips before they are pressed against mine. His kisses
are soft, slow, his hand sliding up the side of my body and cupping my cheek as
he teases me with his tongue.

“I’ve missed you baby,” he
murmurs between kisses. “So badly.”

I smile against his mouth.
“Me too.”

I’m rolled over now, onto
my back, Jared’s mouth never leaving mine. His entire body is pressing against
me and it feels amazing, the weight and the warmth of him, the steady beat of
his heart, pressed firmly against mine.

“Jared,” I groan, pushing
my hips into his to show him what I want.

He pulls back from me, a
gorgeous smile on his face as he reaches over to the bedside table. That’s when
it suddenly hits me. I forgot to tell him, forgot to tell him about what I did
after the last time I was here. I have no idea if it’s too much or too soon or
what, but as his hand pulls open the drawer, my mouth opens.

“Wait.”

Jared immediately freezes,
looking down at me with a face that’s a cross between confusion and fear. It
almost makes me laugh as I imagine he thinks I’m about to stop this from going
any further.

As if.

I smile up at him trying
to reassure him there is absolutely no chance of me stopping this. “Wait,” I
say again, and despite me knowing he wants this as much as I do, I’m suddenly
embarrassed that I’ve done it, that maybe I should have talked to him about it
first.

Jared tilts his head in
question.

“I’m, I…
.well
,
I…” Fuck, I’m stammering like an idiot. “Well, I started taking the pill,” I
blurt out. “And I know we haven’t really talked about it before, but…”
Jared’s smiling
at me now, his hand no longer reaching for a
condom in the side drawer, but gently tucking my hair behind my ear. It lets me
continue. “But part of the
me not seeing
anyone else
, also means I’m not sleeping with anyone else.”

Jared’s smile gets even
bigger now and I watch him as his hand slides under my neck as he leans in to
kiss me. Just as his lips are about to touch mine, he stops, that huge grin
still on his face. “Baby,” he whispers against my mouth. “I’m
definitely
not sleeping with anyone
else.” His mouth moves now and presses a kiss against my neck that has me
melting. My eyes close as he says, “I’m not sleeping with anyone else but you
Mia. Only you.”

And then he moves and
kisses my lips and I can say nothing else, only moan in response. His kisses
are soft, gentle and I can feel his tongue as it traces along my bottom lip.
Jared slides his hand under my back and I arch my body up to meet his.

“Only you Mia,” he
whispers again as he kisses a slow trail down my neck. “I’m only sleeping with
you.”

My fingers dig into his
back, pulling him closer, forcing him to be where I want and need him to be.
Jared pulls back and stops. I open my eyes and find him watching me, the smile
gone now and replaced with a look of intense want. I blink and then swallow as
I run my fingers up his back and brush the hair back from his face. He keeps
looking at me, doing nothing else and just as I’m about to ask him what’s
wrong; he ever so slowly pushes inside me.

I groan at the sensation,
my head pushing back into the pillow. I feel Jared’s lips on my neck, his soft
moan against my skin.

“Baby,” he whispers. “You
feel incredible, so incredible.”

God,
so does he. I’ve never slept with a guy like this before and I can’t believe
how different, how good it feels, and how incredibly perfect.

“Are you alright Mia?” he
asks, his lips still pressing soft kisses along my neck.

As I open my eyes, I
suddenly realise I haven’t said anything to him. “Yes,” I breathe out, waiting
for him to look at me. “Amazing, this feels amazing,” I tell him.

Jared smiles at me. “Uh
huh,” he answers before he stops all talking with his lips on mine. His kisses
are soft and slow still, as though he is savouring each and every one of them.
He has one hand under my back and the other under my neck. I trail my fingers
up and down his sides as he slowly starts to move his hips against mine.

The feel of him inside me
is nothing short of exquisite and the ache that was buried deep, slowly starts
to spread throughout my whole body. My skin feels like it’s on fire right now,
as I drape one of my legs over Jared’s hip to urge him closer to me.

His kisses are continuous,
on my neck, my collarbone, my shoulder and my lips. I open my eyes to look at
him and find him watching me, his heated skin branding mine. The hand that was
under my back now slides out and I watch his eyes as he smiles at me, and
lowers that hand in between our hips. My eyes close in response to his touch.

“Open your eyes baby,”
Jared whispers to me.

I force them open; force
them to hold his stare as he slowly keeps moving, as his fingers start to move
too. The ache inside me intensifies and I can feel my skin heating even more.

“Jared,” I whisper,
leaning up to kiss him.

He kisses me quickly, but
doesn’t stop and just when I think I can’t take anymore, I feel my whole body
let go, feel the powerful ache explode throughout me.

“Jared,” I cry out, louder
this time.

I hear him groan my name
before he collapses against me, his head falling onto my shoulder, his lips
resting against my skin. I feel his tongue slowly lick a trail of sweat up my
neck and my eyes close in bliss.

We lie here in silence,
Jared’s body still on mine, my leg wrapped around his hips, my arms around his
back. I can feel his warm breath against the skin of my neck, his occasional kisses.
Without moving, I reach out my arm and switch off the bedside lamp, plunging
the room into darkness. With my eyes on the ceiling, I watch as each of the
stars slowly comes to life, lighting up the roof as though I am staring up at
the night sky, which somehow looks even more brilliant tonight.

Jared laughs against my
neck. “You love those don’t you?” he says without lifting his head.

I smile. I love that he
knows I do. “Yeah, I do, they just look so beautiful, lighting up the whole
ceiling like that.”

I feel Jared lift his
head, and as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I see him hovering over me, the
whites of his eyes and teeth as he smiles down at me. “See, the way I see it,”
he whispers. “Is that it’s you who’s beautiful, Mia. That it’s you who lights
up this whole room, for me.”

And right then, everything
inside of me melts at his words. My heart does a slow lazy flip inside my chest
as I slide my fingers into his hair, to the back of his head and pull his lips
back to mine. And that’s when it hits me, the one thing I never expected to
feel, but have known was there since the very first night I slept in this bed.

I’ve fallen in love with him
.

The words whisper inside
my head and I kiss him harder, not knowing what to do with them, even though I
know they are completely and utterly true.

“Why Mia?” he asks,
bringing me back to the now.

I exhale, lifting up our
joined hands as if to say,
isn’t it
obvious
. “Because I was in love with you Jared, I couldn’t stop myself,
even if I’d wanted to,” I say. “And trust me, I tried.
I
thought being so far away from you
,
it would help
.
That I could hide in LA and only see you when I came out to see Luke, but it
just didn’t work that way, it wasn’t enough. And we spent so much time
together, alone, I just couldn’t resist anymore.” I exhale as the frustration
of everything I was feeling back then, finally gets itself out.

“So what, I was just there
for you because it was convenient, because Luke was never around,” Jared asks,
the hurt in his voice evident. “We only got together because we happened to be
alone all the time?”

“No!” I cry. “It wasn’t
like that, it was nothing like that.”

“Then what was it like?”
he asks me.

“Jared, it wouldn’t have
mattered if Luke had been around more or not, I wouldn’t have been able to stay
away from you. I was drawn to you, for reasons that had nothing to do with you
just being there when he wasn’t.” I’m tugging on his hand, trying to get him to
listen, to understand. “It was so much more than that,” I whisper.

Jared exhales, runs his
other hand through his hair. “So why did you decide to take a chance on us
then?” he asks, his voice quiet now.

I pull our joined hands
towards me, tightening mine around his, so he’ll really listen to what I’m
about to say. “I fell in love with you Jared. I fell in love with you and the
kind of person you are, the things you did for him
and
for me. I couldn’t ignore that, no matter how much I thought
I’d wanted to,” I say, my eyes never leaving his. “Sneaking around had felt
like a way around it all. It seemed like a way for us to make it work, for you
to still be friends with Luke and for me to still be with you. I thought I
could have the best of both worlds.”

“You could have,” he says.

My eyes close briefly,
before they open and search his face. “I realise that now,” I tell him. “And
when we nearly got caught, so many times, I realised we had to come clean
before we did, because it would have been a million times worse for him to find
out that way.”

“Yes,” Jared says, even
though I’m not really sure what he’s saying yes to.

“Yes what?” I eventually
ask.

“Yes him finding out
without us telling him, kind of was worse,” Jared says.

“It definitely was,
especially if you knew what Luke had to put up with growing up,” I tell him, a
thousand memories flooding back to me, making me shudder.