Such a Rush (37 page)

Grayson spread both arms wide, exasperated. “Yes!”

If Grayson didn’t see my point, I would make him see. “I’m going to tell Alec.”

“You are not,” Grayson growled.

“I’ll be at work at seven,” I warned him. “I’ll give you until then to tell him. If you don’t, I will.”

He balled both fists.

Put one to his mouth and one on his hip.

Seemed to be holding his breath.

Finally he stomped out of the room, down the hall, and out of the trailer. The pit bull became hysterical, but the aluminum door did not bang shut.

Staring at the poster of the beautiful Airbus floating in the Hudson, I knew I was right. I knew I would go through with my threat. Yet I wanted to call Grayson back. He was under so much pressure, but he hadn’t slammed my door.

I walked up the path
and emerged from the trees onto the bright airstrip as usual. Nothing else was as usual this morning. Mark must have had an early night, because he was in Mr. Simon’s hangar, checking the fuel level in his Air Tractor. He whistled at me as I passed. I ignored him.

Molly was already out in the grass, unrolling a banner for Alec. But all the Hall Aviation planes were still there. First I swung around the doorjamb of the office and faced Grayson, grim behind the desk, his blond hair wet from a shower. I fought down the urge to go to him and embrace him and smell him. What I asked was, “Did you tell Alec?”

He glared up at me with pure hatred in his eyes. “No,” he said curtly.

“It was kind of late when we talked last night,” I said loud enough to make him cringe and look through the doorway to see whether Alec was listening. “Maybe you’re kind of fuzzy on this. I said I would give you until I got to work this morning to tell him, and then
I
would tell him.”

He squeezed all the blood out of his fist. His jaw went white too. He said very slowly, “I’m going to give you every opportunity not to do that.”

I flounced out of his office. Alec stood in the open doorway of his airplane, peering into the gas tank on top of the wing, just as Mark had been.

I called, “Alec, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure thing.” He hopped down from the doorway and leaned against the strut. “What’s up?”

He was so handsome, grinning, round-faced and blond and blue-eyed and innocent, that I found myself faltering. What if he really had fallen for me, and my revelation crushed him?

“Wow,” I said. “I wanted to tell you something because I think you deserve to know, but this is a lot harder than I thought.”

He never stopped grinning. He didn’t even sound particularly sarcastic as he said, “You’ve only been pretending to like me? Grayson blackmailed you to do that, hoping I would cling to you instead of joining the military?”

“Yes,” I said on a huge sigh of relief. “He
did
tell you.”

“Molly told me,” Alec said, and now I could hear the bitterness in his voice.

“
Molly
told you!” I exclaimed, glancing past his airplane to the field, where Molly stretched tall to hang a banner on the upright poles. “When?”

“Sunday night.”

Sunday had been the day Grayson first came to my trailer. Sunday night, Molly had taken me for a drive. “Alec, you hadn’t even met Molly on Sunday night.”

“I’ve known her for a long time,” Alec said self-righteously. “Sort of known her, but it seemed pointless to try to start something with her when I wasn’t in town that often. I knew I would be here this week, so Sunday morning I asked her out. That night she called me to say my brother was forcing her best friend to pretend to like me.”

My stomach twisted. No wonder Molly had acted so strangely all week. And when I felt like she’d betrayed me by dragging me to Francie’s party, that hadn’t scratched the surface of what she’d done to me.

“So you knew all along?” I murmured. “And you played along with it? Why, Alec?”

“Molly asked me to, for one thing,” he said. “She told me I could never let you know she’d spilled the beans. But it was all typical Grayson anyway. Underhanded. Breaking the rules. He convinced our mom that he’d changed. I realized Sunday night he hasn’t changed at all. I was curious to see how far he’d take it. And he’s been in love with you since the day you first walked onto this airstrip three and a half years ago. I thought it would be fun to make out with you and see how he liked getting double-crossed by his own brother.”

His voice rose as he said this. The louder he got, the faster my heart raced. I thought it couldn’t pump any faster, and then he told me Grayson had been in love with me for years.

But that didn’t fix any of this, or take away from the fact that Grayson had been manipulating us all.

“Alec,” I said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. And Grayson only—”

“It doesn’t matter what you
meant,
Leah,” Alec shouted. “I found Molly two years ago. I finally asked her out. But because of all this bullshit, it’s ruined now. She and I spent last night alone together, and she’s so convinced something happened between you and me that she’s not even talking to me now. Thanks for that.” He opened the door of his cockpit and climbed back up to look at the wing.

I didn’t want to leave things like this between Alec and me, but I wasn’t going to stand there and look at his feet.

I headed back down the tarmac. When I drew even with the upright poles, I waded through the long grass to Molly.

“Hey, chick,” she sang. She dropped the heavy end of a banner she’d been struggling with. A cloud of bugs lifted into the air. “What’s up?”

“Why did you tell Alec?”

As I watched, her face transformed from innocent teenager playing bad girl to a look of malice. I’d seen it on Francie’s face a few nights before. The only time I’d seen it on Molly was when she first confronted me about stealing Ryan from her two years ago.

“What you were doing was wrong,” she said, “and I was trying to warn him.”

“You knew
why
I was doing it,” I reminded her, “and when you told him, you were jeopardizing my whole flying career.”

“Well, maybe you
don’t
deserve a flying career,” she snapped. “Did you ever think about that? Maybe you
don’t
have good moral character. You forged your mother’s name. You shacked up with Mark. One day later, you tried to fool Alec into thinking you had feelings for him. You knew Ryan was dating me and you tried to steal him from me.”

“Is that what this is all about?” I demanded. “
Ryan?
”

“You’re supposed to be my best friend, but you scope out the ones I really like and steal them! Can’t I have
anything
?”

“I did
not
steal Ryan from you,” I said firmly. “
He
came on to
me.
I turned him down, and he spread it around school that he’d been with me anyway.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?” she exclaimed.

“Because you like the upside down,” I said. “The opposite. You think it’s cool to tell your friends that you go slumming with a poor girl. It makes you feel different and proud to lift me up from the ghetto.” I should have added the truth. When she thought I’d stolen Ryan, that had given me power and daring in her eyes. All I’d ever wanted from Molly was not to lose her. But I couldn’t tell her this. Not after everything she’d thrown at me.

“That’s what you really think?” she asked. “And you lied to stay friends with a bitch like me? It just proves I was right. I
couldn’t
trust you with Alec. You
don’t
have good moral character. You’re a liar.”

She was about to bend down and work on the sign again, like the conversation was over and I wasn’t standing there, but something over my shoulder caught her attention. I turned around.

Grayson waded through the grass after me. As he reached me, he held out a wad of bills and coins and dumped them into my cupped hand.

“I don’t want your money,” I told him. “I quit.”

“That’s for yesterday,” he said. “You’re fired.”

I turned and walked through the grass along a new trajectory, a diagonal that would spit me out on the tarmac closer to my trailer. Along the way I dropped a quarter in the grass and did
not
stoop to pick it up. Grayson and Molly had already lost interest in me and were screaming at each other, but I didn’t want to risk having them glance over at me and see me groveling in the dirt for a coin. Then it occurred to me that there was no reason for me to go home. There was nothing there to eat, nothing to read, no way to get out, and in two weeks I would be homeless.

In the shadows of Mr. Simon’s hangar, Mark was sitting in the cockpit of the crop duster, watching me approach.

I put a little extra swing in my walk and stepped over the threshold into his hangar. Sliding up to the open door of the cockpit, I whispered into the darkness, “Did I hear you whistle at me?”

“Normally you’d have quite a
ride to the farm of the day,” Mark said into his mike as we bumped along the tarmac toward the end of the runway. “We spray farms as far away as
three hundred miles. But since we’re taking the Stearman and you’re getting your feet wet, we’ll just buzz the folks near the airport. Do you really want a rush?”

His voice sounded strange in my headphones, precisely because it didn’t sound strange at all. He spoke the same as always. He wasn’t imitating Chuck Yeager or making any effort to sound like a cool, collected pilot. That’s when I had second thoughts about going up with him. But I couldn’t ask him to stop, taxi back to the hangar, and let me out just because his voice didn’t sound right. Not when this was the only chance I had left at a job flying.

“Yes,” I said.

He stopped at the end of the runway and ran up the engines, like he was supposed to. But he didn’t touch each instrument in the panel with his finger. He didn’t work his feet to make sure the rudders moved the way they should. I’d always felt a little silly going through these motions so methodically, the way Mr. Hall had taught me, like the rudders were suddenly going to quit working. Then I heard Mr. Hall in my head, reminding me that if something went wrong in the air, I couldn’t pull over. Clearly Mark had never received this warning. Or he didn’t care.

Aren’t you going to test the rudders?
kept forming on my lips, and I kept brushing it away like an annoying bug. I had a vision of myself trapped in the back of this crop duster like a sardine in a can while Mark slung us all over the sky. But I’d never seen how he flew on a job. He was probably perfectly safe. I tried to picture what Grayson would do in this situation. If he needed a job flying a crop duster, he wouldn’t second-guess Mark’s prep at the end of the runway.

Of course, he wouldn’t walk up to Mark in the hangar and ask whether Mark had whistled at him, either. But Grayson
would never need a crop-dusting job. Grayson and I were so far apart that we had nothing to do with each other. Thirty years from now, if a rumor ran around the airport that we’d had a one-night stand, we would still be so far apart that nobody would believe it.

Mark announced our departure over the airport frequency in his usual lilting tone, laughing at the end. His voice sounded louder as he released that button and talked only to me. “Get ready for the ride of your life, Leah. Later tonight, that is. The flight will be fun too.”

My head jerked back against my seat as he accelerated suddenly. My stomach turned over and over as I processed what he meant: we would have sex later because he’d taken me flying. I wished I hadn’t marched straight from an argument with Grayson and Molly and Alec into Mark’s hangar. But what else was I going to do, go home?

The plane sped past the huge hangars on that end of the runway, past Mr. Simon’s hangar. Alec had joined Grayson and Molly at the upright poles in the middle of the field. Grayson and Alec shouted at each other. Alec shoved Grayson. Molly tried to separate them, her ridiculous heavy work gloves hovering between them. They all stopped and watched the Stearman take off.

Mark took his hand from the stick and waved to them. There was no cabin in the biplane. Goggles and a small windscreen were the only things separating us from the open air. So the boys might have heard Mark as he shouted, “I’ve got your girlfriend, fucker!”

And then we were in the sky, zooming upward at a banner-towing angle. When I piloted a tow plane, I needed to fly at this angle to get the banner off the ground quickly. There was no reason for Mark to be flying this way, unless—

“I wanted you to feel some G’s!” he said into the mike. “Now, step one. Survey the area for tractors, combines, cows. We don’t want to hit anything when we’re down near the ground. Cows will fuck you up. Take a look.”

I was surprised he wanted to give me this demonstration so close to the airport. Other planes would be taking off and landing. But this was what I’d wanted, right? To feel a rush? I sat straighter in my seat and craned my neck to see past the lower wings. Rows of cotton flashed beneath us fast as strobe lights, unbroken all the way to the forest. “I don’t see anything,” I said.