Suddenly (38 page)

She was bemused. “I’m not married.”

“You are. To the town. To your practice. To the conviction that things were better before.” He gave her a sad smile and rapped her hand against his thigh. “You came to me for comfort because you’re confused. Well, hell, I’m confused, too. I can’t tell you what to do about Sami. It’s something only you can decide.” His phone rang. “All I know is that you’d better decide quick. I’m no expert in the workings of adoption agencies, but my guess is that once things get moving they may be hard to stop. By the time you make your call, it could be too late. You could lose Sami by default.”

And him, Paige thought. She could lose him, too, if she didn’t take a stand soon. But there were so many issues involved. Her simple life was totally muddled.

The phone rang again.

“One way or the other,” he said in his softest voice yet, “make a decision. Soon. Before the window closes.” He released her hand and went to the phone.

Mara had written about that window, about opportunities here and gone, and Noah was right. The call was hers. Either she went for a new life or she returned to the old. One held everything she knew and trusted, the other was filled with unknowns. The old and trusted was safe and secure, and the new—who knew if it would work?

Needing to think through it all, she turned to leave.

“Wait,” Noah called, frowning into the phone. “Dr. Pfeiffer is here,” he told whoever was on the other end. “We’ll be right over.” He hung up and reached for his jacket. “Julie Engel is at the infirmary. She passed out in the library. The nurse doesn’t like some of the answers she’s getting.”

Paige grabbed on Julie’s problems as an escape from her own. “Like what?” she asked as they hurried out of his office. She was thinking of drugs. The rigid set of Noah’s jaw was consistent with that.

“Like this isn’t the first time she’s passed out,” he said. “Like she’s been feeling sick for the past week. Mainly in the mornings.”

Paige didn’t like the sound of that, either. Not drugs. Sex.

Noah held the door and followed her out. Under his breath, as they strode along, he murmured, “This is not what I need. Not now. Not when things are finally starting to look good here. In the whole month of November, the discipinary problems were petty things—closely missed curfews, a few skipped classes, one boy smoking in the bathroom, and it wasn’t even pot. We’re making progress, at least I thought we were.” He made a sound. “I might have known it would be Julie.”

Deirdre and Alicia were in the small outer room of the infirmary. They moved in on Paige the instant she and Noah entered.

“She just fainted dead away.”

“Flat out on the floor.”

“We got her here as fast as we could.”

“I told her to see the nurse last week.”

“She’s been eating next to nothing.”

“Maybe it’s the flu.”

Paige stopped only long enough to put a comforting hand on each girl’s shoulder. “I’ll take a look. You both sit and relax.”

Julie was lying on the examining table, fully dressed. She had an arm over her eyes.

Paige removed the arm. “How do you feel?”

Julie shot an uneasy glance at Noah, who stood by the door. “I’m okay. I just passed out.”

“People don’t ‘just’ pass out. There’s always a reason for it.” She felt Julie’s forehead, but it was comfortably cool. She found the pulse at her wrist. “I understand this isn’t the first time it’s happened.”

“I was just dizzy the other times.”

“There’s always a reason for dizziness, too. And for morning sickness.”

“I said I was sick a few mornings ago,” Julie grumbled. “I didn’t say I had morning sickness.”

Her pulse was fine. “When was your last period?”

Julie darted another glance at Noah. “Does he have to be in here?”

“The answer,” Noah said, “concerns me and this school.”

Julie gave a high laugh. “Like you were the one who did it?”

Paige caught Noah’s eye and motioned toward the waiting room. “We won’t be a minute.” Noah looked disgusted, but he left. Paige turned back to Julie. “Last period?”

Julie rolled her eyes. “How am I supposed to know? I don’t keep track on a calendar.”

Paige remained patient. “Was it within the last week?”

“No.”

“Within the last two weeks?”

“No.”

“Within the last month?”

Julie was slower in answering and then begrudging. “No.”

“Within the last
two
months?”

The look Julie gave her was answer enough.

“Ok-ay,” Paige said, helping her sit up. “I think we’ll take a ride to my office. I can examine you there.”

“I’m all right. Really.”

Paige looked her in the eye. “Are you on the pill?”

“Where would I get birth control? My dad would kill me if he ever got a bill for it.”

Which pretty much ruled out a diaphragm, too. “Are you sexually active?”

Julie squirmed. “That’s an embarrassing question.”

“Not for an attractive and often provocative young woman. Let me rephrase it. Are you a virgin?”

“No.”

“Have you been with a man within the last three months?”

“I don’t keep score.”

“Julie.”

She looked away. “Yes, not that it concerns you any.”

“It concerns me a lot,” Paige said, helping her off the table. “It concerns me because, while I don’t approve of sexual activity among girls your age, even
more
I don’t approve of unsafe sex. You can get birth control without sending a bill to your father. You can get it at my office, or at any clinic. And you can refuse to have sex with a guy unless he’s willing to use something.”

“Well, if he doesn’t happen to have it with him, what do I say?”

“You say
no
.” It was as simple as that, but so difficult for teenagers to do. Paige sighed. “I care about you, Julie. I don’t want you to be pregnant, but if you are, the sooner you know, the greater your options will be.”

Paige drove Julie in her car. Noah followed in his. It wasn’t long before the three of them were sitting in Paige’s office, with Paige fighting an odd sense of déjà vu. Such a short time ago, it seemed, she was sitting with Jill. Now here was Julie, from a privileged home and in a privileged school, so different from Jill, yet so similar.

“First off, we have to call your father,” Noah said. “Any decision you reach has to involve him.”

“No, it doesn’t. I’m eighteen.”

“But you’re a student at my school, for which your father pays the tuition. You were in our care when this happened. It’s my obligation to tell him.”

“He’s right,” Paige told Julie. “How you and your father decide to handle it from there is your choice, but as Head of Mount Court, Mr. Perrine has to call.”

“He’ll want to know who the father is,” Noah said.

So did Paige. Someone hadn’t used a condom. That person had been as shortsighted as Julie. Whoever it was ought to be with her when she faced her father.

Julie sat back on the sofa, crossed one knee over the other, and smoothed tight jeans over long, slender thighs.

“Julie?” Paige prompted.

Julie eyed her mutinously. “I thought you were on my side.”

“I am. That’s why I want to know. You didn’t do this alone. You shouldn’t have to be alone in handling it.”

Julie said nothing.

Noah leaned forward. Gently he said, “Look. You can stonewall if you want. You don’t have to tell us. We understand that you’re in an awkward position, but your father may not be as understanding. He’s going to want to know who the father is and where we were, that we couldn’t stop this from happening.”

Julie snorted. “You can’t stop things from happening. You don’t know half of what goes on in the dorms.”

“We know more than you think, but you’re right,” he said less patiently, and rose. “We can’t stop things like this from happening unless we run the place like a prison, which I refuse to do. It isn’t fair to those students who do have a sense of responsibility.”

Paige, too, rose.

“I’ll drive her back,” Noah said, looking tired. “Then I’ll try her father. We can’t do much more until we reach him.”

Paige nodded and walked them outside. It was all she could do not to slip her hand through Noah’s again. She wanted his warmth. She also wanted to ask if he would come by that night, but she couldn’t very well do it with Julie right there. So she simply smiled and waved when they drove off, then headed home.

She was mentally drained, feeling nearly as bad for Noah having to deal with the pregnancy of one of his students and the potential for scandal at Mount Court, as she felt for herself. Her own worries took precedence, though, when she walked into the house. From the kitchen came the sound of Sami’s squeals. She followed them and stood for a time, unobserved, at the door.

Sami was in her high chair. Nonny was feeding her. The kitchen was messy in a lived-in sort of way.

Paige tried to imagine coming home to a spotless, quiet, empty house. It was a chilling thought. But the other—the other was unsettling, too. Could she come home to a full house and not feel guilty that she hadn’t cooked dinner? Could she just pick up and leave at night when she had emergency calls? Could she simply close her door and shut everyone out when she wanted to be alone?

She gasped when something furry and alive rubbed against her leg.

“Paige,” Nonny exclaimed, “come in, come in, there’s a little someone here who’s anxious to see you.”

Paige bent to give kitty a tickle—kitty, who was growing bigger and more affectionate by the day—then went to Sami, who tipped her head back and gave her a saucy grin. “Hi, sweetie. How’s my little girl?” Her throat tightened around the words. Sami wasn’t hers. Other parents were in the process of staking their claim.

“Tell Mommy what you did today,” Nonny urged Sami. “Go on. Tell her.”

“What did you do?” Paige managed to ask.

“She took a step,” Nonny said proudly. “Just one, before she fell, but considering that three months ago she could barely sit by herself, it’s astounding.”

“Took a step?” Paige asked Sami. “Let me see.” She waited only long enough for Nonny to wipe the food from Sami’s face before lifting her out of the high chair. Holding her close, she carried her into the living room, then stood her up at the sofa and moved back.

She held out her arms. “Come here, sweetheart. Walk to Mommy.”

Sami plopped down on her seat.

Paige gently stood her up again and moved back. “I want to see. I miss such good things when I’m at work. Show me now, sweetie.”

Sami plopped down again, but this time, before Paige could go to her, she crawled to Paige, climbed up on her knees, and held out her arms.

Paige picked her up, acutely aware of the way tiny arms circled her neck. “Oh, sweetie,” she whispered, torn to bits and on the verge of tears. “I do love you. But motherhood is an awesome undertaking. Like marriage.”

The phone rang. Paige continued to hug Sami, but when it rang again, she reached for it.

“We have a problem,” Noah said without prelude. “A
real
problem.”

“Another one? I’m not sure I can take it.”

“Julie’s father is furious. He’s flying up in the morning with his lawyer. He says he’s suing the school.”

Paige thought quickly. “He hasn’t got a case. Julie has a history of not following the rules at Mount Court. She has a history of being disciplined. It’s not like you all turned the other way and ignored what was going on. Besides, she is eighteen.”

“You’re right. No case. But he can make enough noise to rake me and my school over the coals. I can take it. I’m not sure the school can. But there’s more, Paige. Julie’s suddenly saying that the father of her baby is Peter Grace.”

“
Peter
,” Paige cried. “That’s nonsense!”

“It’s what Julie says.”

“Well, she’s lying,” Paige vowed, but the words were no sooner out of her mouth than she thought of the letter Julie had written to Peter, the pictures he claimed he hadn’t taken of her, and the ones he had indeed taken, though not of Julie, that had upset Mara so.

“She claims,” Noah said, “that he forced her.”

“Of course. She’d have to say that. It’s the only hope she has of weaseling her way out of this. But it isn’t true,” Paige insisted, praying she was right.

Noah sighed at the other end of the line. His voice lowered. “I was hoping to drive over and sneak in your window, but I’m thinking I should pick you up at the front door and pay Peter Grace a visit. I have to know his side of the story, and fast. The potential for damage to Mount Court is substantial. So is the potential for damage to your practice.”

Paige realized that as he said it. She thought of losing the practice, on top of Angie and Noah and Sami. “What’s happening, Noah?” she asked in a wavering voice. “My world is breaking up.”

“Not yet, babe. Not yet. Can you be ready in fifteen minutes?”

“Yes—no.” She struggled to decide how best to handle Peter. “Let me go alone. Peter tends to get defensive.”

“If he’s innocent—”

“It doesn’t matter. That’s just the way he is. He may be angered so by the accusation that he turns around and walks out, which won’t accomplish anything at all. I’ll go alone, then I’ll call you when I get back.”

Noah reluctantly agreed. She hung up the phone but sat for a bit holding Sami, who was playing happily with the silver pendant that hung around her neck. “Do you like that?” she asked softly.

“Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma.”

“My mother sent it from L.A. a few years ago. She said she knew the artist. Think she did?”

“Fooooo.”

“I like it, too. Chloe’s a great gift giver. A lousy mother, but a great gift giver. She should have been my rich aunt.”

“If she’d been that,” Nonny said from the door, “you wouldn’t have been my granddaughter, and I wouldn’t have led half as rewarding a life.”

“You’d have been footloose and fancy free.”

Nonny shook her head. “I need to do meaningful things, and the more the better. I’ve felt younger since I’ve been here than I have in years.”

“You’re an angel, doing all this for me. I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t you hear what I’m
saying
, Paige? I don’t
want
your thanks. I just want you to let me keep on doing what I’ve been doing. Send me back to that apartment and I’ll die in a week.”