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Authors: Jean Ure

BOOK: Sugar and Spice
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“I’ll get the Vampire to drop me off.” She always called her mum the Vampire; I didn’t like to ask why. “What time d’you want me there?”

That threw me into a fluster as I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I said, “Um…’bout two o’clock?”

And then immediately wished I’d made it later because what were we going to do from two o’clock until tea time? Shay wasn’t the sort of person you could have cosy conversations with and I didn’t fancy sitting down to watch TV. I hardly ever watch telly, as a matter of fact; only if there are hospital programmes I like those! Unfortunately Dad says they “turn him up” so I can only watch if he’s doing something else, which usually he isn’t.

I told Mum I’d asked Shay for two o’clock and Mum said that was fine. “You can take the kids up the park.”

“Mu-u-u-m!” I was horrified. I couldn’t expect Shay to trail up the park with a bunch of snotty kids! But Shay totally astonished me, cos when she arrived and Mum said, “Well, now, how about you all getting out from under my feet for a bit?” she seemed to think it was quite a good idea.

And in fact it wasn’t so bad as it at least gave us something to do. We went to the adventure playground and me and Shay sat on the swings while the others went on the kiddy slide and the roundabout and the dotty little climbing frame and kept out of our hair, except for Sammy falling over and hurting himself and bursting into loud bawling sobs, and then it was Shay
who went over and picked him up and kissed him better.

“He’s kind of cute,” she said, as she came back.

“He’s all right,” I said. “But he’s spoilt rotten cos he’s the only boy. Are your mum and dad like that?”

“Like what?” said Shay.


Sexist.

Shay said, “Dunno. I expect so. Prob’ly. Most people are.”

I don’t quite know what we talked about as we sat on the swings. Shay didn’t ask me any questions about myself and I didn’t ask any about her, cos I had this feeling she mightn’t like it, plus we weren’t really what I’d call friends, at any rate not yet, though I hoped that we might be one day. We certainly weren’t at the stage of swapping secrets or anything like that. Mostly at school I still hung out with Karina, except when Shay decided she wanted to talk to me, and then Karina would go off in a sulk. But you can’t invite someone to tea and then spend the time in total silence, so I think most probably I just burbled. It’s what I do when I get embarrassed. I open my mouth and words come streaming out, all hustling and jostling and banging and bumping, and I just don’t seem to have any control over
what I’m saying. I mean, I didn’t particularly
want
Shay knowing all my great plans for being a doctor and how Mrs Henson had told me that I could do whatever I wanted if I put my mind to it. The idea of being a doctor now struck me as utterly pathetic, and telling her about Mrs Henson just seemed like boasting.

When we got home, tea was ready. Mum had made this huge effort and bought cakes and buns and biscuits, and sausage rolls and crisps and toffee pudding. Almost like a birthday party! She’d never laid on such a spread for Millie and Mariam. We all sat round the kitchen table, including Dad, and Sammy behaved really badly, snatching at food and upsetting his drink, and nobody doing anything to stop him, so that I felt really angry.

It wasn’t fair! Just because he was a boy. At one point he picked up a sausage roll and chucked it at Shay, across the table. Even Mum thought that was going a bit too far. She said, “Sammy! Stop it!” but Shay just caught the sausage roll and chucked it straight back at him.

“Well!” said Mum, beaming. “You’ve obviously got a brother of your own!”


Have
you?” I said.

Shay shook her head. “Nope!”

“Sisters?” said Mum.

“Nope.”

“Only child? Oh, dear! This lot must seem like a right handful.”

Mum wasn’t in the least bit shy of asking questions. Not even if Shay did live in Westfield. She even asked her what her mum and dad did. Shay said that her mum was a beauty consultant and her dad ran his own company.

“Ooh! That sounds important,” said Mum.

“He sells
plastic boxes,
” said Shay. She said it like he was selling maggots, or drain covers.

“But his own company!” Mum was impressed, I could tell. Dad asked how many people Shay’s dad employed. Shay said, “Two.”

“Well – still. He’s his own boss,” said Dad. “No one to tell him what to do.”

Before he got his emphysema, Dad used to work on the buses. He was always complaining of people telling him what to do.

After we’d finished tea, Shay thanked Mum for inviting her and said that she’d be going now. I was relieved, in a way, cos although I’d quite enjoyed her being there I couldn’t think what we’d have done next. I really didn’t want to take her into my bedroom. It was just such a mess, what with Kez and Lisa’s stuff all over the place. I would’ve been too ashamed. I try very hard to keep my bit clean and tidy, but it’s quite disheartening. Sometimes I’m tempted to just give up. But if we didn’t go into the bedroom we’d either have to sit in the kitchen, which would be boring, or sit in the other room and watch television, which would probably also be boring. I just so didn’t want Shay to be bored!

Mum asked her how she was getting home. “Do you want to ring your parents and tell them to come and fetch you?” Shay said no, that was OK, she could find her own way.

“But it’s going to be dark any minute,” said Mum. “I really think you should ring.”

But Shay wouldn’t. I went down to see her off, and I thought that I’d be a bit scared going back across town in the dark.

“I do it all the time,” said Shay.

I was about to ask her if her mum didn’t worry, when
I remembered what she’d said, that her mum never worried. I said this to Mum when I went back upstairs.

“She’s very independent,” I said.

“Very self-possessed,” said Mum, like being self-possessed wasn’t a good thing. “I just hope she wasn’t angling for us to take her home.”

“She wasn’t,” I said.

“Well, too bad if she was. It’s time she learnt that we can’t all afford to run cars. I’m just surprised her parents are so irresponsible. Letting a girl of that age roam about by herself! And you needn’t think you’re going to start doing it.”

“Mum, didn’t you like her?”

“Not my cup of tea. Too sure of herself by half.”

“She was nice to Sammy,” I said.

Grudgingly, Mum agreed that she was.

“And she thanked you for inviting her!”

“Oh, yes, she remembered her manners,” said Mum. “But there’s just something about her…what happened to Millie? Why aren’t you seeing her any more?”

“She’s got other friends,” I said.

“Well” Mum sighed. “Just don’t let that Shay push you around, all right? Be careful! I’m not at all sure she’s a good influence.”

When I’m a mum, I’ll
never
say that about my children’s friends.

The Vampire’s back. So’s the Invisible Man. They had a right slanging match when they discovered they’d both been away at the same time. It was like, “What is the MATTER with you? Why can’t you ever comMUNICATE?”

“ME communicate? What about YOU?”

“I’d had that
conference
arranged for MONTHS!”

“So why the [swear words, swear words] didn’t you [swear words] TELL me?”

“I did [swear words] tell you! You just never [swear words] LISTEN!”

After which we had a whole string of swear words. If I was putting little stars instead of actual words, the conversation would look like this:

There isn’t any point writing the actual words. They were mostly all the same and really VERY boring. Especially when you’ve heard them as often as I have.
I mean, they just
do
it all the time. After a
bit
I shouted, at the top of my voice: “Just SHUT UP, I’m SICK OF IT!”

So then they both spun round to look at me, like, “Who’s this telling us to shut up? Where has she come from?” And then they remembered that I lived there, and that I was their daughter – well, supposedly – and the Vampire said, “You should’ve rung me! Why didn’t you ring me?”

“Didn’t think you’d be interested,” I said.

She didn’t like it when I said that. She did this flinching thing, like I’d made the sign of the cross or breathed garlic over her.

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