Sullivan's Justice (34 page)

“I couldn’t help you, once they locked me up,” he said. “I paid the price for what happened that night, regardless of who pulled the trigger. I thought you might have come to see me, but you never did. I served sixteen years, Jessica. I’ve been searching for you ever since I was paroled two years ago. Every day I thought of you.”

“You paid the price?” Jessica shouted, shaking her fist at him. “I slept in cardboard boxes in the winter in New York. I ate out of trash cans while you lolled around in a warm prison with three meals a day. I let hairy, disgusting, and perverted old men fuck me for money.”

She went to the bar and poured herself a glass of scotch, drinking it like water, then refilling the glass. She heard footsteps and thought he had left.

Dr. Graham stood, waiting for her outside the door to the bar. When she returned, he reached out and seized her, pulling her into a tight embrace. Melody panicked, struggling against him and cursing. Then her muscles went limp. All the feelings of being loved by a father came rushing back. The glass bounced on the carpet, the liquid spilling out. He pulled her head onto his shoulder, stroking her hair.

“I love you, Jessica,” her father whispered. “What happened to you shouldn’t have happened to anyone. If only I could have been there for you.”

She pulled away and returned to the sofa. “Just so you’ll know, my name isn’t Jessica anymore. Call me Melody. That is, if you want me to answer you. Jessica is dead.”

“Any name you want me to call you is fine. You’re still my daughter. I did see in the paper that you were using the name Melody Asher. Isn’t that the girl you used to play with in Tuxedo Park?”

“Yes,” Melody said, explaining their legal arrangement. “With all this bad publicity, I may be changing my name back.”

“At least tell me one thing before I leave,” Dr. Graham said. “Do you know anything about these murders? The police flew me from New York. They said you may be a suspect. What am I going to tell them?”

“Tell them anything you want. I’m not a killer.” The booze was catching up to her. She could hardly keep her eyes open. “Look, you may be my father and I know that you must have loved me, but right now you’re a stranger. I need to get some sleep. Tell me where you’re staying and I’ll call you.”

They went to the kitchen. Dr. Graham wrote down the number to the hotel. When he handed her the piece of paper, she saw his mangled thumb. “What happened to your beautiful hands? How can you operate?”

He dropped his left hand to his side, where she couldn’t see it. “I’m not a doctor anymore.”

Even in her intoxicated state, Melody realized how much they had both lost. A single shot from a handmade rifle had destroyed all four of their lives. She walked him to the door in silence. Once outside, he turned and looked back with familiar eyes. Had her hatred been unfounded? Her father might never operate again, but he was an intelligent man and would one day reclaim his dignity. She had told too many lies, hurt too many people, broken too many rules. She turned the dead bolt and slid to the floor, her mouth open wide as she wailed in despair. All she could see was darkness.

 

 

 

 

 

A
fter Hank left, Carolyn made two cups of hot chocolate and carried them to Rebecca’s room. “I’m sorry we woke you up, honey,” she said, handing her a cup. “I want to explain what’s going on with Neil. I didn’t tell you earlier because I thought everything would be cleared up by now.”

Rebecca tossed aside the
Glamour
magazine she was reading, then took a sip of her hot chocolate. “It’s okay, Mom,” she said, setting the cup on her end table. “John already told me everything. I know Uncle Neil would never do anything that bad.”

Carolyn sat down on the edge of the bed, clasping her cup with both hands. “The police have to protect the community. When they’re under this kind of pressure, they sometimes arrest the wrong people. Two women were killed. Neil’s only one of the suspects the police are considering.”

The girl’s eyes widened. “Are they going to put him in jail?”

“If they do arrest Neil, he’ll be released on bail,” Carolyn told her, asking her to scoot over so she could lay in the bed beside her. Realizing the cocoa had caffeine in it, she placed her cup next to Rebecca’s. “The problem is, we don’t know where he is right now. Remember what I’ve always told you about running away from your problems? Neil disappearing like this gives the police a reason to be suspicious. I can understand how upset he is about Laurel’s death, but he should have called and checked in, let us know where we could reach him. If he calls when I’m not here, make certain you tell him he has to get in touch with Hank right away.”

“Lucy was crying today,” Rebecca said, placing her head on her mother’s shoulder. “She said you and her dad had a big fight.”

How could she possibly tell her daughter what had happened? When Carolyn had lashed out at Paul, she’d failed to think of how it would affect her children. She’d been even more enraged after her visit to Melody. The woman might have a drawer full of Cartier watches with bands in every color. She probably bought them herself. Melody was shrewd. She could have assumed Paul had mentioned buying her a ring as they had been seeing each other for over a year now. Then when she asked Melody about the watch, she had jumped on it.

Carolyn had listened to everyone but Paul, the only person who really mattered. Even if Melody wasn’t an impostor or killer, her past could have made her a very disturbed woman. Did Paul deserve to be treated so poorly? Should she throw away a loving relationship and break her kids’ hearts? She had to suppress the urge to pick up the phone and call him. She already missed him. There was no one to hold her, no one to console her when things started flying apart as they had tonight.

Carolyn heard Rebecca sniffling, then tipped her head up and saw she was crying. “Please don’t cry, baby. Everything’s going to work out.”

“No, it’s not,” her daughter said, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. “I thought you and Paul were going to get married, that Lucy and me would be sisters. Lucy says her dad is talking about moving back to their house in Pasadena. She’s my best friend, Mom. How am I going to see her?”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind right now,” her mother said, remembering the gory details of her father’s death from the police report. She was also worried about her mother. The woman had a heart condition and had been under tremendous stress. “After things get back to normal,” she added, “Paul and I may be able to work things out.”

The girl’s face brightened. “Promise?”

“I can’t make any promises,” Carolyn said, getting up and turning out the light. “Do you think you can sleep now?”

Rebecca yawned. “I guess,” she said, rolling over on her side and adjusting her pillow.

Carolyn closed her door and headed down the hall to her bedroom. Was she leading her daughter on, creating false hope? No, she decided. She would do her best to forget what she had seen on the video. Still, Paul might not want to patch things up after the way she had acted.

She collapsed in the bed, but her pills had worn off, and she doubted if she could sleep. Her mind began sifting through the events of the day and the dangerous agreement she had made with Hank to stall her brother’s arrest.

A few years after they were married, her ex-husband, Frank, had challenged her to go paragliding. When she had pushed off the edge of the cliff, her eyes focused on the land-mass moving slowly toward her, she’d felt a rush of adrenaline. It was similar to how she felt now, knowing tomorrow she would be sitting across from Raphael Moreno again. Even with the SWAT team peering in from the specially constructed room, her fate would be in God’s hands.

She was startled at the sound of her cell phone ringing. On the other end of the phone line was a weak, desperate voice. “Carolyn, I almost did it,” Neil said. “I put the gun to my temple. . . . I was about to pull the trigger when I panicked. I—I pulled the gun away at the last second. It went off, but the bullet missed my head.”

“Oh, my God!” Carolyn exclaimed, knocking the clock to the floor. “Where are you?”

“I don’t want to live anymore,” Neil said, sobbing. “They’re going to send me to prison.”

“That’s not true,” she said, forcing herself to remain calm. “Take a deep breath. Concentrate on my words, Neil.”

“It’s no use.”

“Do what I say and everything will be all right,” Carolyn instructed, relieved when she heard him stop crying. “You didn’t kill Laurel. It’s not your fault that Laurel died.”

“You think that helps me?” he said, his voice shaking. “She was the love of my life. Maybe things weren’t right for us now, but eventually we could have married and had a wonderful life. Now she’s in a morgue, her body cut up in pieces. If I hadn’t gotten so angry, she’d be alive today. Why should I live when I’m the one who’s responsible for her death?”

Carolyn was so distraught, she couldn’t think straight. She heard him crying again. “Neil, where are you? I’m going to come to you.”

Her brother’s voice trailed off with each word. “You’ve got to let me go.”

Carolyn was afraid he was going to end the call. She had to use another tactic. “What about me?” she shouted. “Is this how you pay me back for all the years I’ve looked after you? I love you. John and Rebecca love you. When Mother dies, we’ll have no one. Is that what you want? Tell me where you are, damn it!”

“Oxnard Shores in the sand dunes.”

“Are you alone?” she asked, knowing that he was in an area near the housing development where they used to live.

“Who would possibly be with me? I have no friends. Even Melody doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

Carolyn kept talking as she rushed to John’s bedroom. She jotted down a note and handed it to him. When he woke up and asked her what was wrong, she placed her hand over his mouth. John’s face paled when he read what she had written. She kissed him on the forehead and raced to the garage for her car. “You’re wrong about Melody,” she told Neil. “I spent time with her today. She cares about you.”

Neil fell silent. Carolyn could hear the sound of waves crashing in the background, so she felt fairly certain he hadn’t moved to another location. “You’re a survivor, Neil. This is just a bump in the road. As long as we stick together, we’ll make it.”

“I scared myself today,” he said. “You don’t know how close I was, Carolyn. I pulled the trigger. I was gonna do it.”

His sister got inside and slammed the door to her Infiniti. “We’ll get you back on track, trust me. Where’s the gun?”

Neil sucked in a deep breath. “Beside me in the sand.”

“Get rid of it!” she yelled, cranking the engine and backing out. “Get up and walk toward the ocean. When you reach the water, throw the gun as far as you can. Do it now, Neil.”

“Okay.”

His breathing became heavier as he walked through the deep sand. “Is the gun gone?”

“No.”

“Get rid of the gun!” Carolyn shouted again, almost rear-ending the car in front of her. “Do you hear me, Neil? How can you kill yourself? Do you want to damn yourself to hell?”

“I don’t believe in that stuff,” Neil told her. “My father killed himself. If I go to hell, we’ll be together.”

“It doesn’t matter what Dad did,” she said, speeding onto the ramp to the 101 Freeway. “Please, I’m begging you. Suicide is an offense against God. It’s also an offense against seriously ill people all over the world who’re battling insurmountable odds so they can live one more month, a week, a day, an hour. Think of all the children, Neil. Children who will be dead by sunrise. How can you throw away something so valuable? You’re a healthy young man. If you do this, I could kill myself, too. What about John and Rebecca? We can’t keep repeating this awful cycle for generations. Stop it now!”

“The gun’s gone.”

“Thank God,” Carolyn exclaimed as silence overtook the phone line. She began speaking again, this time slower and softer. “Now watch the waves as they break and turn into white water. Do you remember the days we spent playing in the sand and bodysurfing on those waves?”

“That was a long time ago,” he said, the sound of his voice becoming more coherent. “I miss being a kid.”

“You remember the sand crabs?”

“Yeah,” Neil responded, emitting a small chuckle. “That was great what we did to little Joe.”

“What was that?” she questioned, pretending not to know.

“We put sand crabs in his pants. He jumped around the beach whimpering like a girl.”

A few miles and she’d be there. Neil was coming back to reality. Her negotiations today with Hank would only buy him twenty-four hours. She thought of insisting that he turn himself in, but she was afraid he would become hysterical again. She would have to hide him, shelter him from the police until his mind settled. He couldn’t stay at her house. She was sure Hank had unmarked cars in the area, ready to arrest him as soon as the twenty-four-hour time period expired.

Carolyn knew she couldn’t leave her brother alone. There was only one person she could leave him with—Melody. The police didn’t appear to consider her a viable suspect anymore. Could this woman she’d formerly despised be trusted? Did Melody really care about him? Carolyn didn’t have a choice. She certainly couldn’t take Neil back to her mother’s house.

When she arrived at the beach, she could barely see where she was going in the darkness as she trudged through the sand, finding Neil slumped over at the top of the dune. Her stomach rose in her throat, thinking he was dead. “Neil,” she shouted, squatting down beside him. When he didn’t respond, she grabbed a handful of his hair and jerked his head up. He didn’t appear to be injured, but the gun was in his hand. She pried it out of his fingers and shoved it in the waistband of her jeans. “I thought you threw the gun in the ocean.”