Summer Moon (13 page)

19

Reed watched Jonah pace the confines of the kitchen. The Ranger paused, picked up a bread-slicing box off a sideboard, and turned the wooden object over and over in his hands.

“I’m going to hang the bastard who did this to her, Reed.”

“You know who it was?”

Jonah nodded. “A drifter riding with four ruffians from Kansas. They left Dolly’s sometime before dawn, but not before cleaning out her cash box. Hurt some of the other girls, too, but none of them got it as bad as Charm.”

“You been carrying a torch for her for three years. Why don’t you marry her?”

“Me settle down?” Jonah looked incredulous.

“Other men have done it.” Reed knew what was going through Jonah’s mind. The sky was their roof. The saddle their home. It would be as hard for Jonah to give up rangering as it would be for Reed.

“I’m too old for her, anyway.”

“You’re not forty.”

“Damn right I’m not. I’m forty-two.”

Reed hid his surprise. “She’d be lucky to have a good man like you.”

Jonah steered the conversation back to the robbery of Dolly Goode. “If I get back to camp before tomorrow’s gone and round up a few men, we can ride after them before the trail’s cold.”

“I’m going to give this one more week’s rest, and then I’ll be back.” Reed rubbed his shoulder.

Jonah eyed him carefully. “You really feel up to it?”

It still hurt, and it would pain him no matter where he was, but he was hesitant to leave so soon. At least getting out of here as quickly as he could would keep him from listening for Kate’s footsteps all day, wondering what she was doing and making excuses to run into her.

“No, but I’m going, anyway. It won’t do me any good to laze around getting soft.”

“No worry about that. Summer’s heating up, and the Comanche are getting bolder by the day. There’ll be plenty to do no matter when you come back.”

Trusting his friend to keep his confidence, Reed briefly told Jonah about Kate, who she was and how she had come to be there. He also told Jonah that he was fairly convinced that she was innocent of his father’s scheme.

“Are you leaving so soon because you’re running away from her or Daniel?” Jonah asked.

“Both, maybe.”

Jonah locked his hands behind his head and stretched, contemplating. Reed sipped his coffee. Talking about going back had him thinking about the last raid, wondering if his passion for revenge hadn’t cooled now that he had Daniel back. How long had it been since he had really thought about why he was fighting Comanche?

After a bit Jonah suggested, “Maybe Kate could find work in Lone Star. She’s a looker. Couple days in town, and she’d probably come up with some cowboy’s proposal soon enough.”

Although it would get her out of his life, there was something about the idea that didn’t quite sit right with Reed.

“You said she signed proxy papers. Maybe she’s still legally married to you. If not, maybe she’s legally your pa’s widow,” Jonah speculated. “Wouldn’t that beat all?”

“Sofia said my father signed Reed Benton Junior. I had Scrappy stop by to see our lawyer in Lone Star, and to top it all off, my father conveniently sent him on a trip to Europe, probably to keep the man away from Kate and from finding out what he’d been up to. I’ll have to wait until Jeb gets back to have him untangle everything. For now, I’ve hired Kate to take care of Daniel and the house. She thinks she can help him. Thinks just because she was a teacher at an orphanage back East that she can tame him.”

“What do you think?”

“I think she means well, but she’s got about as much chance as an icicle in hell. He’ll never be the same. You know it as well as I. Lord knows, we’ve seen them like this often enough.” Things crowded in on Reed so hard he found it difficult to breathe.

“Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s not too late,” Jonah said.

“Yeah. And maybe someday cows will bark. I think she’s plum loco.”

“You won’t get me to speak unkindly of her, not after the way she didn’t bat an eye when it came to helping Charm.” Jonah looked up at the ceiling. “I wonder what’s going on up there?”

“She likes to hover. It about drove me crazy, her fluffing pillows and shifting trays all the time I was down.”

“She’s a good-looking woman, Reed. You could do worse.”

“That’s what Sofia said, but I know by now that it isn’t looks that count. I’m not looking for a wife. Besides, you know I’m not a good judge of women. I was burned once, and I don’t intend to go through that again.”

“Maybe this Kate is different.”

As I’ve never been a wife, I can’t promise you that I’ll be perfect, but I will certainly give my all.

Thinking of what she had written, keeping his own council, Reed hooked his arm over the back of the chair. There was no doubt in his mind that Kate was different from Becky, but that didn’t mean they would suit each other. Besides, as he already told Jonah, he wasn’t looking for a wife. Before he had come back here, the idea had never even entered his mind.

He was about to say that she was stubborn enough to put up with him and Daniel, and that’s all he could ask for right now. Not a moment too soon, Jonah flashed him a quick warning nod and Reed held his tongue.

A second later, Kate breezed back into the room. When both men stood, she blushed and looked flustered.

Reed pulled out a chair and she sat down. “Want some coffee?” he offered, relieved just to have her there and know she had been of help to Charm.

“Why, thank you. Yes.” She looked surprised by his offer.

He took down a heavy pottery mug and filled it to the brim with the thick, steaming brew. His camp specialty. Careful not to slosh it on her, he set it on the table and eased into the chair beside her.

She gave him a sideways glance from beneath her lashes; then she concentrated on Jonah. “Charm’s asleep, Mr. Taylor. I have invited her to stay here and rest.” Then she turned to Reed. “I hope that’s all right with you.”

“It is.”

He had the feeling it didn’t matter to her in the least what he thought, for she had already made up her mind. She was merely being polite by asking. Again, her tenacity surprised him. He would do well not to underestimate her.

Her kindness to the girl surprised him, too, until he realized it
was
possible that she might not have the vaguest idea that Charm was a whore. From all she had said so far about nuns and orphans, Kate had led a sheltered life in Maine after her mother abandoned her.

He watched her take a long sip of coffee. Her already huge eyes went wide over the rim of the cup. She swallowed, coughed, and quickly set the mug down.

“What
is
that?”

Jonah laughed.

Reed acted insulted. “It’s coffee. Real coffee, not that watery excuse you’ve been giving me for days.”

“Reed makes the best coffee around,” Jonah piped up in defense.

Kate looked at them both in turn as if they had lost their minds. She pushed the cup a little farther away and said without warning, “I would like Charm to stay on indefinitely.”

Both men openly stared. She focused on him.

“You said we need a cook. She can cook. I would like to offer her the position. Anything would be preferable to what she does in Lone Star.”

She knew. She knew what Charm was, what she did, and yet Kate wanted her there, anyway. Reed was so stunned it took him a minute to recover.

“You think she would stay?” Jonah sounded as if the idea was too good to be true.

“I believe she would,” Kate assured him. “What do you think, Reed?”

He thought perhaps there was much, much more to Kate Whittington than what he had already learned from her letters. He also realized he liked hearing her say his name. He rubbed his hand over the ache in his shoulder. “I think it’s a fine idea. If you can talk her into it, you and the boy might not starve after all.”

20

The kitchen grew progressively warmer as morning melted into high noon. A hot wind from the south assaulted the house, baking the grass on the gently undulating hills and valleys around it.

Kate made eggs and burned some fried potatoes for the midday meal and served them up to Reed, Jonah, and Scrappy, and then she fed Daniel. Having men around the table was nothing at all like the sedate, orderly meals served in the dining hall at Saint Perpetua’s. Here the talk was loud, oftentimes boisterous. She had the feeling that if Charm had not been asleep upstairs, the men would have been even louder as they related some of the legendary jokes the Rangers played on each other in camp.

More than once she was startled when they forgot themselves and let slip a word not fit for a lady’s ears, but then they apologized profusely.

The meal gave her a glimpse of how it might have been if she and Reed had met under other circumstances. As she watched his easy exchange with Jonah and Scrappy, as the men laughed and talked of times past and adventures they had shared, she saw a side of Reed that was far different from the bitter man he had been for the last few days. She wished she knew him well, wished she could forget how he purposely avoided Daniel.

Above all else, she wished she could forget that he had only made love to her because he mistook her for Becky.
I love you, wife.

Up to her elbows in soapy dishwater, Kate remembered the way Reed had pulled her close after they made love, tucked her beside his fevered body and held her tight.

She tried to concentrate on what he was saying to Jonah.

“I ought to be able to go join you at camp in another week.”

A plate slipped from her hands, hit the dishpan, and splashed water over her and the sideboard. Her heart skipped a beat. He was going back to the Rangers. Just like that, he was leaving his father’s house and his son in her care without a backward glance. She had known eventually he would leave, but not so soon.

She spun around, ignoring the damp bodice of her faded gray gown, and wiped her hands on her skirt. “You’re leaving in a week?”

Jonah took one look at her face and pushed back from the table. Scrappy quickly followed suit. Both of them thanked her for the meal and were out the door before Reed decided to answer.

“When will you be back?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I haven’t even left yet. All you need to do is what you’ve been doing. Look after Daniel. Fuss with the house. Scrappy will be here. He’ll get whatever supplies you need from town.”

He looked as if he was going to walk out without another word, but then he paused in the door to the hallway. “Jeb Cooley is my father’s lawyer. He’s not in Lone Star right now, but I’ll make certain that you get paid each month. Charm, too, if she stays on as cook. Anything you want—food, clothes, whatever you need for yourself or the boy, or Charm—tell Harrison Barker at the Mercantile, and you’ll have it. I’ll stop and leave credit instructions with him.” He looked at the damp bodice of her gown. “I mean it—don’t hesitate to buy whatever you need.”

Kate was too stunned to speak as he walked out into the hall. She rushed after him, caught him by the sleeve. “Reed, wait.”

He frowned down at her hand. “What is it?”

She let go. “Will you be well enough to leave in a week?”

His hand went to his injured shoulder. “I’ll heal no matter where I am.”

“What about Daniel? Are you simply going to walk out on him? He needs you right now more than the Rangers do.”

“You seem to be doing all right by him.”

“But, it’s not the same. I’m hired help. He needs
you
. You’re his father.”

Reed’s expression immediately shuttered. His eyes iced over.

What terrible pain lodged in his heart kept him from wanting to be with his son after all these years? She fought to reach him. “I didn’t just teach at Saint Perpetua’s. I was raised at the orphanage. My mother left me there and walked out of my life. I’ll never forget that night as long as I live, the emptiness I felt, the bottomless fear. I blamed myself. I thought that if I had only been better, if I hadn’t gotten sick and slowed her down, that she wouldn’t have done it. Don’t abandon Daniel just because he’s been with the Comanche. None of this was his fault.”

She had hit a raw nerve. His hands curled into tight fists. He hesitated before he spoke, stood with his forehead creased in thought, his expression darkly fierce. He drew a long breath, slowly let it go. “I’m giving you leave to do with him as you see fit,” he told her. “You think this is easy for me, to see him the way he is now? To know what he’s been through? It’s my fault he was captured that night. I left him and his mother alone in a cabin on the edge of the ranch in what had become hostile territory.”

Kate waited, sensing he had more to say, stunned by his startling admission of guilt.

The wind howled across the prairie, sighed beneath the eaves of the house, breaking the strained silence, echoing his shame and deep-seated pain. He bowed his head, stared at his boots. Then he met her eyes with raw, unflinching honesty. “I don’t know that Daniel’s my son.”

“But . . . he looks exactly like the child in the photograph.”

“I don’t mean that he isn’t the same boy stolen from Becky and me. What I’m saying is that I don’t know that the boy she gave birth to was
my
own flesh and blood.”

Kate’s hand went to her throat. “What?”

“The night she died, Becky told me that Daniel wasn’t mine. She claimed another man fathered him.”

“Oh, Reed.”

Resurrected pain left an indelible brand on his features, haunted his eyes. Compelled to move closer, she stepped up to him. She tried to imagine what he must have gone through after Becky’s terrible revelation. Any man would have been devastated. His only son had been taken from him by his wife’s confession of adultery, then captured by Comanche raiders. The light of his life had been taken from him not once, but twice that night.

The weight of his words hung heavy on the air around them in the empty hallway. Kate wished there were something she could do or say to ease his pain. Had he been a child, she could have held him, rocked him, told him everything would be fine. But what could she possibly say that might ease his guilt and pain? Especially if he
was
guilty of leaving them to their fates.

There were no words, no answers. Without thinking, she reached for his hand, expecting him to shrug her off. As if numb to her touch, he didn’t even react. She held on tight, giving him the only thing that she could give, silent understanding.

She wondered how his wife could have betrayed him, wondered with whom. “Did you know him?” Her question was hushed, barely uttered.

“Yeah. Yeah I knew him.” He swallowed, stared straight at the opposite wall. “It was my father.”

Reeling, Kate closed her eyes. Daniel looked like Reed, but then, Reed favored his father, too. She had mistakenly thought that his father had been the man in the photograph she had received.

“Your father?” She still couldn’t believe it.

“That’s what Becky claimed. After we were married, we lived here at the house. She told me they had been lovers off and on since that time. She said I wasn’t half the man my father was, and that Daniel was his for certain. A few minutes later I left to go see if I could help the neighbors, but only after convincing myself that Becky and Daniel would be all right that night—but they weren’t.”

He was holding her hand so tight, squeezing so hard it was growing uncomfortable, but she didn’t pull away.

“She shot herself outside the cabin door. I wasn’t certain what happened to Daniel at first. His body wasn’t there. I didn’t know if Becky might have killed him to keep him from being captured. I nearly went crazy. Do you have any idea what it’s like to sift through the ashes of your home looking for what might be left of a three-year-old? When I never found a trace, I started tracking the war party. There had been four homesteads attacked that night, so the Rangers were called in to take up the chase. I joined up then and there. We never found Daniel.”

“What about your father? Did you ask him if what Becky said was true?”

“Of course, but he denied it. Claimed she only said it to hurt me, to drive him and me farther apart. I told him that I thought he was capable of it and that he would have slept with her just to prove that he had been right about her in the first place. He said if it would change my mind about her that he would have. We argued. I left to join the Rangers and never saw him again.”

“But you brought Daniel back to Lone Star. Why?”

“For the same reason I was so hellbent on rescuing him right after he was captured. I wanted my father to swear on Daniel’s life, to tell me to my face that he never touched Becky. That there was no chance in hell Daniel was his.”

He looked down, realized he was rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. It settled him to talk to her, calmed him. She was listening to him with rapt attention. Her expression told him that she cared about what he had to say, that his story greatly disturbed her.

He paused, leaned back against the wall, empty, hollowed out by hurt and betrayal. “When I walked back into this house that day, I thought I would finally learn the truth.”

“But your father was dead.”

“And now I’ll never know.”

Her intense anger surprised him. “I’m glad he’s dead. I’m glad that I never met him face-to-face. When I think of what he did to me, of how he tried to use me to lure you home, it makes me furious. After everything you just told me, I can understand how you could believe he might have fathered Daniel, and I know how much you could hate him, and me—or anyone else connected to him. But please believe me. I would
never
have agreed to such a twisted plan.”

“I know. I’ve read your letters.”

She went perfectly still.

“You
what
?”

“I read your letters. The ones you wrote to my father.”

“My letters?” She tried to pull her hand away. “You read them all?”

“Sofia gave them to me before she left.”

Kate was shaken to the quick.

He knows.

He knows all about my mother.

He knew about the desperation that made her begin her correspondence in the first place. Again, she tried to take her hand back, but he wouldn’t let go.

“I know that’s why you befriended Charm so easily, when any other woman in your position would not have and why you don’t hold what she is against her,” he explained. “You took to Daniel because you know better than most what he must be going through, what it feels like to be a child alone in strange surroundings.”

She finally managed to wrest her hand from his grasp, but she didn’t walk away. He knew all of it. He knew about her and her foolish dreams. All the reasons she had given for answering his father’s advertisement. He knew her childhood fancies of a home of her own, a place she could care for and cherish. A safe haven where she had hoped to raise children. “It’s not fair, you know,” she said aloud.

“What’s that?”

“You know all about me, but I know next to nothing except what they chose to tell me about you. I only know what your father wanted me to know.”

“I just told you how it was with me and Becky. There’s not much else to tell.” He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced back into the kitchen when someone knocked at the back door.

“That’d be Jonah.” Reed sounded as tired as he looked.

“You need some rest. I need to see about supper.”

“Kate, I’m sorry I ruffled your feathers, but—”

She held up a hand and stopped him cold. “I’d thank you not to refer to me as some sort of fowl.”

Jonah knocked again. Reed stepped around her and headed for the door. “Hell, Kate. Those letters were addressed to me. I’m the one you thought you were writing to, so where’s the harm?” He swung the door open.

Jonah was standing there with his hat in his hand, looking sheepish, ready to ride. “Well, I’ll be going,” the captain told them, glancing from one to the other. “Just in time, too.”

“Bye, Jonah. I’ll see you soon,” Reed said.

Jonah nodded and then bobbed his head to Kate. “Adiós, ma’am.”

“Good-bye, Captain. It was nice to meet you. Don’t worry about Charm. She’ll be fine.”

“No, ma’am, I sure won’t. Thank you, ma’am.” He told Reed good-bye and walked away.

Reed closed the door, and they were face-to-face again.

When Kate noticed the dark circles of fatigue beneath his eyes, she felt like a shrew. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep before supper? This is the first time you’ve been up all day. I’ll wake you when it’s ready.”

“I’m sorry about the letters. I didn’t think you would mind.”

“If you really thought that, you would have told me you read them before now,” she said softly.

He closed the space between them until they were standing toe-to-toe. She caught her breath, afraid he was going to kiss her again, knowing she did not have the will to resist.

It took every ounce of waning fortitude that he had not to kiss her.

Reed found himself wishing he had ridden off with Jonah and taken himself out of temptation’s way. Now he was going to have to live with it. He was going to be under the same roof with Kate for at least another week.

She was right. He had a feeling she would resent his reading her letters, which is exactly why he hadn’t told her before. Reading them had made him feel like he was peering into the windows of her soul without permission. He didn’t know which bothered him more, his intrusion or the look of betrayal on her face.

First his father and Sofia, now him.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. He really was. “Would you like to have them back?”

“What?” she whispered, staring up into his eyes.

“Your letters.”

She shrugged and sounded sad. “What does it matter now? I don’t want them anymore. They’ll only remind me of something I would rather forget.”