Summer Moon (15 page)

“He hates me for what I am. I was there at the raid on the Comanche encampment.”

“Why keep him here if you don’t want him? Why not let him go back to the Comanche? Obviously, he had people who cared for him there. People he loved.” She was pushing too hard, and she knew it, but there was no time left.

“Don’t think I haven’t been asking myself that same question, Kate, but I know if I send him back that sooner or later he’s likely to resist and be killed. I won’t condemn him to that. In a while we’ll have ended their way of life completely. Those that aren’t killed outright will be left to die on reservations. At least here, Daniel will have a chance to survive.”

“Raised by a housekeeper? Ignored by his father?”

“But, I may
not
be his father, damn it.”

She shook her head, sorry for him, sorry for the burden of hate he carried. “But what if you are?” she whispered. “Do you really think that he can survive without love?”

He crossed the room until he was close enough to touch her. He stared down into her eyes for a long, silent stretch of heartbeats. Then he said softly, “I’ve lived without it for years.”

22

His last day at Lone Star, Reed realized that he should have left without telling Kate. The woman was bound and determined to celebrate.

“We’re planning a special supper for you,” she announced that morning over coffee.

He was still half asleep. It was the time of day he usually liked to be alone with his thoughts, but with Kate around, that was impossible. “Don’t go to any trouble on my account,” he mumbled.

Charm, who was rolling out pie dough across the room, turned around. The crestfallen look on her face had him backtracking.

“Whatever you’re planning will be fine.” He shoved his face back into the coffee cup.

“We’ll be eating in the dining room.” Kate went on as if he hadn’t objected. She already had her mind made up about how things were going to be.

They had been eating all their meals in the kitchen, and that was all right by him. There he wasn’t reminded of the times he and Becky lived here and the way his father liked to reign over the long dining table. The way the old man would entertain Becky and Sofia with every detail of his latest business coup.

“I’ve got some things to do today.” He made his announcement before Kate could work herself up and start in about wanting him to spend time with Daniel.

It was clear the boy hated him. For his part, Reed hadn’t a clue as to how to make things any different. He had just about convinced himself that leaving the boy alone with Kate might help calm him down.

“We’ve planned supper for five.” Kate had opened the back door and was standing there with a broom, ready to sweep the veranda.

“I’ll be out in the barn if you need me,” he said.

He hid all day, spent the time with Scrappy, working the thoroughbreds, realizing they were all his now, as was all the rest of it. At one point he found himself staring at the house, wondering if he could ever feel content living there. Just then, Kate had walked out the back door, her steps clipped and determined as she hurried around the house carrying the laundry basket to the clothesline.

Despite the deception that brought her here, she seemed content, a part of the household, perhaps because she truly seemed devoted to Daniel’s care. Her mind held no dark memories of this place.

He found himself thinking that fate was fickle and he was lucky she was here. Leaving the boy with someone else might not have been as easy.

He avoided the flurry of activity in the house as much as possible. He went in once to get his spurs and found Kate sweating over an ironing board, pressing the wrinkles out of a starched linen tablecloth. Charm was bustling back and forth to the stove. The heat it emitted made the already overly warm kitchen nearly unbearable, but the heavenly aroma of a huge pot roast and onions mingled with the mouthwatering smell of warm fresh bread.

Another time he went back for some water and was treated to the sight of Kate standing on a chair, reaching for the good china on a high shelf in the kitchen pantry. He was there a spell without her knowing, admiring her trim waist and the tempting swell of her hips, all the while trying to convince himself that it was only what any red-blooded man would do and that he wasn’t attracted to Kate.

His life was too unsettled to complicate it any more. Just because he liked looking at her didn’t mean that things between them would ever go any further.

She glanced over her shoulder, caught him staring, and nearly lost her balance. He stepped up and made a grab for her, meaning to steady her until she found her footing, but wound up bracing his hand beneath her derriere. She blushed beet red. He quickly gave her a slight shove that put her feet back square on the chair seat.

“Can I help?”

Kate turned around and stared at the china in the cabinet. “Thank you, that would be nice.” She didn’t move.

“You’ll have to let me help you down.”

He heard her sigh. When she turned around and held out her hand, she was still blushing.

“I didn’t do that on purpose, Kate.”

“I know.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He knew damn well when a woman said there was nothing wrong that she definitely had a bee in her bonnet, but he wasn’t about to go down that road. They switched places.

“Which plates do you want?”

“Four of everything. Plates, cups, saucers, salads, bread and butters.”

He hadn’t seen the china in years. Tiny dogwood flowers stood out against an ivory background. The scalloped edges were trimmed in gold. The fragile legacy had been his mother’s, given to her on her wedding day by her mother. Reed Senior had offered it to Becky one night at dinner, but she shook her head and refused.

“I want to choose a set of my own.” Reed could still remember the way she said the words, the hard edge to her voice. She tossed him a look and added, “
If
we ever get to move out of that old cabin and live in a decent place like this.”

“Reed?” Kate’s voice brought him back. He had been staring down at the bread and butter plates in his hand. When he gave them to Kate he noticed how carefully she held them, as if they were a precious treasure.

“Those were my mother’s,” he told her as he stepped down off the chair.

“That makes them twice as special. They’re very beautiful.” She cradled the pieces in her arms, waiting to set them out on the dining table with the others she’d already put there. “The dishes we had at the orphanage were plain white and so thick that they almost never broke, even when one of the girls dropped them.”

She looked away, busied herself at the long dining table covered with the freshly ironed linen cloth. At each place there was a pressed and folded napkin.

“Is that all you need?”

“That’s all,” she told him without looking back him. “Thank you.”

He hurried off to the barn, eager to get back to the horses. At least they were predictable, and if he accidently touched one on the behind, it didn’t get out of sorts.

Kate listened to the fading sound of his footsteps as Reed went out through the kitchen. She couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving in the morning, and not just because of Daniel.

She was beginning to know him as something other than a Texas Ranger, or Reed Senior’s son. She understood why it was so hard for him to accept Daniel, and she knew what doubt and pain plagued him.

Since he had opened up about the past, she had discovered a gentler soul and a wounded heart beneath his hard exterior. Despite his discomfort around Daniel, he was a man worthy of love who believed he didn’t need it because he was afraid of the hurt it would bring.

She would be a fool to deny her growing attraction to him. Perhaps because of her memory of the night they made love, perhaps because she was getting to know him better, whatever the reason, she knew it wouldn’t be hard to love him. Not hard at all.

Reed thought she would be happy that he had dressed for dinner. He had found an old white shirt of his in the upstairs wardrobe that still fit. When he went downstairs a few minutes before five, Kate started to greet him, paused, and then, embarrassed, glanced down at one of three faded, worn gowns he had seen her in many times. This one was a particularly drab brown, the color of dried mud.

Suddenly, he realized that neither she nor Charm had anything nicer to wear than what he had already seen them in. Charm’s gown was not only mended, but she had altered it by sewing what looked like a plain white kerchief across the low-cut bodice to cover her cleavage.

Trying to put Kate at ease, he said, “I decided that since you two have worked so hard on supper that I’d clean up a bit.”

“You look . . . wonderful,” she said, smiling up at him. Her compliment didn’t make him feel much better so he added, “You be sure and send Scrappy into town for whatever it is you’ll need for some new outfits for you and Charm.”

Too late, he realized he had put his foot in his mouth again. Kate primly folded her hands and continued to smile uncomfortably.

His shirt collar was suddenly too tight, so he stuck his finger between it and his neck and tugged. “When do we eat?” He glanced toward the dining room.

“As soon as we bring Daniel down.”

“Daniel is eating with us?”

“It’s your going-away dinner. He should be here.”

“He has no idea what kind of a dinner it is. You told me two days ago that he was finally doing better just eating off a tray.”

“Which is why I think including him is a good idea. The higher our expectations, the more he will achieve.”

Reed shook his head. “That approach didn’t work for my father where I was concerned.”

She ignored him and headed for the stairs. “I’d appreciate your help. He can’t walk on his own, and I certainly can’t carry him very far.”

He could tell by the look on her face that arguing would get him nowhere. Without another word, he walked past her and headed up the stairs.

Daniel proved to be more cooperative than Reed had guessed. Kate signed as if she was eating, pointed down and told him that they were taking him downstairs to eat. The boy was listening in earnest. Reed could only guess what he was really thinking. Kate reached for Daniel’s hand and held it, smiling encouragement as Reed picked him up.

The child stiffened but let Reed carry him downstairs. Kate opened the dining-room door with a flourish, and Charm was standing beside the table expectantly, obviously ready to serve. She couldn’t hide her excitement. By candlelight, the remnants of the bruises on her face were barely visible.

The room had been transformed, not only with candles glowing in the brightly polished silver candelabra, but by a huge bouquet of Texas wildflowers that stood in a tall crystal vase on the sideboard.

Both women seemed to be expecting something. He looked from one to the other.

“It looks real good in here. Real pretty.”

He set Daniel on a chair. Once it appeared he was going to stay put, Reed quickly took both the fork and knife from the boy’s place setting and handed them to Kate.

“My expectations still aren’t high enough to let him have any sharp objects,” he said.

The plates were soon filled with succulent Lone Star beef and potatoes smothered in gravy, carrots with butter and cinnamon, and plenty of onions. Despite all the compliments Reed lavished on her, Charm was nervous as she set the meal down in front of him. Daniel started to reach for his plate, but Kate held up her hand and shook her head no.

“Reed, you are closer than I. Will you hand him his spoon?”

Reed did. Daniel held it clenched in his fist like a spear.

“I think we should say grace,” Kate announced.

Charm looked uncomfortable. Reed’s stomach growled.

Daniel tossed the spoon on the floor, grabbed the thick slice of pot roast off his plate and began to gnaw at it.

Reed started to come up out of his chair, but Kate laid her hand on his arm. He slowly sat back down. By now, gravy was smeared all over both Daniel and the formerly pristine tablecloth.

Charm’s eyes were huge; Kate folded her hands and bowed her head. Despite the smacking sounds Daniel made as he stuffed and chewed and tore at the pot roast dripping in his hands, Kate said grace as if his behavior were nothing out of the ordinary.

Then she raised her head, sweetly smiled at Reed, carefully lifted her fork, and said, “Shall we begin?”

Reed began to doubt not only her methods with Daniel, but her sanity.

23

After Reed left, it was the land that slowly seduced Kate with its ever-changing, endless sky and supple golden grass dancing on the wind. Cloud shadows rolled across the land. Summer showers would surprise them with lightning and thunder and move on. Rainbows arched across the sky, shimmering prisms that echoed all the colors of the wildflowers blooming in mass profusion.

She spent at least an hour a day walking outside with Daniel, and sometimes, when her work was through, she was tempted back outside to sit on the veranda alone, to think about Reed and the impossible situation she was in.

What of him? Could he ever trust her or any other woman after what Becky had done to him?

Even though he was gone for now, she still had her mind set on bringing Daniel and him together somehow. Did it really matter anymore if Daniel was Reed’s son or his father’s? Reed Senior was dead. The boy was a Benton. He belonged here on Lone Star, on this land. Maybe Reed wanted to turn his back on his father’s legacy, but the least he could do was see it survive for Daniel.

In the passing weeks, Kate, Charm, and Daniel melded into a family of sorts, not the kind Kate had imagined on her way west, but they gradually settled into a whole.

Neither Kate nor Charm ever talked about the impermanence of their situation, because it was so tenuous. Kate tried not to dwell on the future. Instead she awoke to each new day content with the routine of life they had established.

The big white house seemed to settle more comfortably around them, embracing them all.

Charm’s considerable homemaking talents lent themselves to making the place a home. Not only was she a talented cook, but she proved to be a creditable seamstress, too. Kate took Reed at his word about funds and sent Scrappy to Lone Star to buy fabric. Since she had no idea whether Charm would actually succeed, she told him to purchase an inexpensive bolt of white muslin.

Instead, he had returned with yards and yards of robin’s egg blue silk and a bolt of colorful calico, insisting that was what Reed would have wanted him to buy. “No sense in you ladies looking like inmates in an asylum,” he had said.

When she wasn’t baking or putting meals together, Charm would disappear into Sofia’s room with paper and scissors and thread. Within a week she had completed a modest gown for herself and then set to work on one for Kate.

Even Daniel benefited from Charm’s enthusiasm. She was all smiles the day she proudly presented him with a long-sleeved blue silk shirt that matched their gowns. Soon he had one of calico, too.

Charm healed faster than Daniel. Early on, Kate had explained to her how she came to be at the ranch. Then, one day while peeling carrots for dinner, Charm asked a personal question.

“Have you ever kissed Reed?”

Kate blushed, giving herself away.

“You have!” Charm laughed.

Kate shook her head thinking,
if she only knew.

“He kissed me.”

“Did you like it?”

Setting the paring knife down, Kate sighed. “Actually, I was frightened.”

“Of Reed? He seems like a real good man. Jonah always speaks highly of him.”

“No, not of Reed. Of myself. I . . . I’m afraid I could very easily lose control of my emotions and let things . . . go too far.”

She could never explain everything to Charm. She would die of embarrassment.

“When he gets back, let him know you are interested. Surely you must know what it takes to seduce a man,” Charm said.

Nothing her mother had done had anything to do with seduction. It hadn’t been like that in the dingy old shack. She was visited by sailors and fishermen with fistfuls of coins who wanted relief, pure and simple. There was nothing magical or seductive about it.

“I didn’t learn anything from my mother,” she admitted, picking up the knife again and turning her attention to the carrots. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“When you’re ready, I’ll tell you everything I know.”

Kate wasn’t certain she would survive the telling.

Although she spent hours reading to Daniel, talking to him, naming objects from around the house, day after day he disappeared further inside himself.

Scrappy came to the rescue and surprised Kate when he knocked at the back door one morning and handed her a crutch made of a long willow branch padded with ticking on top.

“Thought we ought to get that boy up and walking,” he said by way of explanation.

Kate noted the care the cowhand had taken with the crutch. It was sanded smooth, polished to a high shine.

“You’ve quite a talent as a woodworker, Mr. Parks. This is not only useful, it’s lovely.”

“If it’s too long, I can cut it down,” he said, looking everywhere but at her. “If you think it’ll be all right to give it to him, that is.”

His sudden shyness moved her to smile and ask him to come up with her to Daniel’s room and give it to the boy himself.

“I’m worried about him,” she admitted as they walked upstairs together. “He’s grown so pale and listless. He eats, but not really enough for a growing boy. I know he’s desperately unhappy, but I have no idea how to help him.”

“He’s not used to bein’ inside. I thought if he could learn to use the crutch, at least then he could move around some, maybe get outside.”

“Reed told me he would try to run away the first chance he got.”

“I’ll help you keep an eye on him.”

Kate had paused outside Daniel’s room, handed the crutch back to him so Scrappy could give it to the boy. Over the past few weeks he had volunteered to sit and watch Daniel whenever she had work to do. She had come to realize Scrappy Parks’s grousing and grumbling hid a soft heart.

“I’m glad you’ve set aside your feelings of animosity toward him, Mr. Parks.” She wished Reed would have stayed and devoted as much time to the boy.

“Well, ma’am, I can’t help but think of the old days whenever I look at him. They lived here for a time, you know, Reed Junior and Becky and little Dan’el. Used to carry him around on my shoulders when he was a little ’un.”

They showed Daniel the crutch. First Scrappy and then Kate demonstrated how to use it. Although Daniel gave no outward indication that he understood, his eyes lit up, and he straightened away from the pillows.

It wasn’t until Scrappy actually handed the boy the crutch and Daniel held it in both hands across him like a weapon that Kate realized they may have underestimated him. She and Scrappy stepped back, and after a tense moment or two, Daniel laid the crutch on the bed beside him and scooted over to the edge. Then he eased himself to the floor onto his good foot and placed the padded top beneath his arm.

He teetered at first, shoved aside Kate’s hand when she reached out to steady him. Trying to work the crutch, he frowned in fierce concentration. He was the image of Reed as he slowly negotiated the empty floor space around the bed. Within minutes, he was moving about with ease.

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea.” Scrappy shook his head as the boy hobbled faster and faster around the room.

“Oh, but just look at his face. It’s the first time I’ve seen him smile,” Kate laughed, relieved. “Of course, we’ll have to be vigilant now that he’s up and moving, but that smile is worth the extra effort, don’t you think?”

Scrappy did not look very sure at all.

With Soft Grass Hands close beside him, Daniel lay on the ground relishing the warmth of the sun on his face. Until a few days ago, he thought his spirit would leave him if he did not get out of the prison where they kept him. Then Hairy Face had brought him the walking stick and given him back a piece of his freedom.

They let him go outside with Soft Grass Hands who would sit beside him with a faraway look in her eyes as she was doing now, staring across the land in wonder, touching the flowers, running her hands over the grass. She seemed to be amazed by everything he pointed out to her. Natural, everyday things that she would never have seen if it hadn’t been for him.

Slowly he sat up and watched the ground to the right of them. The woman turned, waiting expectantly. He patiently pointed until she squinted and finally saw a fat badger that had poked its striped gray head out of a hole in freshly dug earth.

When she smiled in surprise, he felt a swell of pride. Silly woman. She would never have known the badger was so close by without him.

It could have been a rattlesnake, or a stealthy coyote. Soft Grass Hands would not survive more than a few days on the prairie alone.

He had never seen such a lazy or talkative woman in his life. His true mother, his Comanche mother, was always busy from dawn to dusk, scraping hides, carrying water, cooking, making clothing. Thinking of her now, wondering if she was dead or alive, choked him with sadness.

He looked over at Soft Grass Hands. The delicate white woman seemed to have no responsibility other than to spend her days sitting with him. Sometimes she would point and name useless things around the house but he ignored her, refusing to learn the white man’s words. He would not need them where he was going.

Other times, she stared at tiny marks on papers bound together, talking and talking. But the best part of the day came when she would set aside the bound pages and smile. Then they would go outside to walk the land as they were doing now.

While she watched huge white clouds float across the blue sky, he slyly studied the Tejano buildings where the horses were kept.

Soon, he promised himself. Very soon he would be strong enough to slip out alone, steal one of the many fine horses, maybe even two or three, and ride back to the Comancheria in triumph.

The woman beside him said something and then sighed softly before she stood up and shook the folds of her brown dress. It was time to go back.

That she might be hurt if she was alone on one of her walks after he left should not have been his concern. But as they walked back to the big dwelling together, he found himself thinking of all the dangers that might befall her once he was gone. Though he tried not to let them do so, the thoughts made him sad.

Encouraged by the way she and Daniel could communicate without words, Kate walked slowly beside him as they made their way back to the house. When they had almost reached the back door, Charm stepped outside, taking care to close the door without letting it bang.

She wiped her hands on an apron as she hurried over to Kate.

“What is it?” Kate could tell by the girl’s face that something was definitely wrong.

Charm kept her voice low. “We’ve got callers. Scrappy’s got them out on the front porch. They’re asking to see Daniel.”

Kate shot a sideways glance at the boy. Although his attention was focused on the stable, she could tell by the way he had stiffened at the sound of his name that he knew they were talking about him.

“Who are they? Where are they from?”

“Their name is Greene. From what I heard, I think they were Reed’s wife’s parents.”

Reed’s wife.

Was it just a few weeks ago that she had thought of herself as his wife? That she had washed his fevered body and dreamed of the day he would recover and their life together would begin?

“Kate?” Charm had touched her arm, calling her back.

“Yes, I’m sorry. Reed’s wife. Becky.”

“They heard Daniel has been found and want to see him.”

“Scrappy’s with them on the veranda?”

Charm nodded. “He saw them drive up and stopped them right there. Told me to find you quick. He didn’t have to say it, but I could tell he’s not pleased to see them.”

Kate turned to the boy, reached out, and touched the sleeve of his new blue shirt. He remained silent as always.

“Come with me.” She crooked her finger. Then she turned to Charm. “Put on some coffee and slice some of that wonderful chocolate cake you made yesterday. Daniel’s grandparents have every right to see him.”

Charm hurried away. Kate matched her steps to Daniel’s slow uneven ones as he hobbled along with his crutch.

She imagined the imminent reunion. How thrilled the Greenes must have been when they received word that he had been found.

As they crossed the yard in back of the house, she realized how much a part of her life Daniel had become in so short a time. She devoted hours of the day to him, trying to teach him English, trying to get him to respond. But he was more at home on the land. That was evident in the way he sniffed the air, listened to the wind and the birds, and drank in the sunshine. There was so much he could teach her if only they could communicate in words. So much she would miss if he were not here, but she told herself to be happy that he had blood relations.

These people, the Greenes, had as much right to the boy as Reed. If they wanted him, if they would love and cherish him, then despite her own feelings, it would be best for Daniel to be with them.

Again, she looked at the child walking beside her. His long dark hair swayed with every uneven step. He had gained weight since Charm began plying him with delicious sweets, but he was still small, so vulnerable and so stubborn.

But he
was
making progress. Even Reed, if he were to return today would see it, but there was so much further to go.

You have no real claim to him.

This is what you wanted for Daniel.

Kinfolk. Blood relations who care about him.

Family to love him.

Even after so short a time, it hurt to think that she might no longer be a part of his life.