Summer of Love (17 page)

Turning slowly in his arms, Lily saw Nate lifting Carrie onto the terrace rail, her beautiful dress spreading out around them as he leant in to kiss her. True love, marriage, and everything she was trying to avoid. So why the hell was she on the terrace nearly kissing Alex Harper? It had to be Cora’s fault. She’d probably imbued the dress with happy-ever-after powers or something.

Lily shook her head to clear it and stepped forward, feeling the chill of the evening air as Alex’s arms fell away.

‘Think we should let them know we’re here?’ Alex murmured as if nothing had happened. Wedding buddies again.

‘I don’t think they’ll care.’ Lily gathered her best friendly vibes and smiled up at him. ‘Come on. Let’s go see what the band’s playing now.’

Wedding buddies. That was the thing to remember. Have fun, enjoy his company. But never, ever get too close.

And tonight had been way too close.

Chapter Eleven

It was easy enough to avoid Alex over the next few days. He was busy setting things up at the studio, along with reviewing the accounts of all the shopkeepers at the Mill. As long as she smiled and waved when she walked in first thing, past his studio on her way to Tiger Lily, she was pretty sure he wouldn’t notice she was avoiding him at all.

No. Not avoiding him. Just… enjoying a little space. They’d been spending a lot of time together since he came back to town and apparently that kind of proximity proved confusing. So a few days apart would do them both some good before their next wedding buddies adventure on Saturday.

Still, just to be certain, she made sure to be in her studio with the door closed when he left in the evenings, where she knew he wouldn’t disturb her.

Which was why she was late home from work on Wednesday night, and why Cora and Rhys had been entertaining Edward for the last half an hour when she finally arrived.

‘What are you doing here?’ Lily dropped her keys into the bowl by the door, staring at Edward in surprise. Cora and Rhys had already escaped into the kitchen. Cowards.

Edward’s calm face twisted with exasperation, just for a moment. ‘Can’t I just be checking in to see how you’re doing?’

Lily considered. ‘You haven’t before now, so I’m thinking not.’

‘Maybe I was giving you time to cool down. Think things through.’ He sighed, as she kept staring at him. ‘Fine. Your mother asked me to bring some boxes by for you from her house.’

Lily blinked. ‘My mother?’

Edward’s nod was sharp. ‘She’s very upset. Thought it would be easier if I brought them.’

‘You mean she hoped I’d cave and beg you to take me back.’ For a moment, it looked like Edward was waiting for her to do just that. She didn’t. ‘So where are these boxes?’

He insisted on carrying them up the stairs himself, all eight of them, looking around the spare bedroom she’d appropriated with disapproval – Lily suspected more at the clothes falling out of her suitcase and the messy bed than at Cora’s perfectly ordered wedding paraphernalia. Lily watched him and felt so separate, so apart from their history together, she couldn’t help but wonder again how they’d ever thought they could make a happy future together. Surely by now he had to be thinking the same. That he was lucky to be shot of her.

But then, as she tried to hurry him through the door so she could set Cora and Rhys free from their self-imposed exile in the kitchen, he turned to her and smiled, soft and hopeful. ‘Your things… they’re still at the cottage.’

‘I’m sorry. I can stop by –’

‘I don’t mind,’ Edward interrupted. ‘It’s just that I can’t help but feel that, if you were so sure you weren’t coming back, you’d have come and got them by now.’

Lily blinked at him. ‘I’m not coming back, Edward.’

He raised one pale, blond eyebrow, a habit that had irritated her ever since she’d realized she couldn’t do it, after practicing in the mirror when she got home from their third date. ‘Are you sure about that? That you’re not just hedging your bets until you decide what you really want?’

Lily tried really hard not to hesitate before replying. ‘That’s… That’s not what I’m doing.’

Edward sighed, and for a moment he looked tired. ‘Fine. But I have to tell you I think you’re making a mistake. I understand that you’re nervous, and that marriage is a big step. But it’s the
next
step for us. We’re good together, we’ve spent seven years building a life together. And I don’t understand why you’re throwing that away.’

‘Because… because it feels like someone else’s life, now,’ Lily said, willing him to understand. ‘I don’t know when it happened, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner, that I didn’t stop this engagement before it started. But I’m not the same girl who fell in love with you any more. And marriage… it’s not something I want. At all.’

‘Or you don’t want it with me.’ Edward sighed. ‘I always knew there was a chance you’d just up and leave one day. Everyone warned me that you were… flighty. But I thought we had something more than that.’

‘This isn’t about me being flighty,’ Lily said, trying not to sound as irritated as she felt. ‘I’m not a teenager any more, for heaven’s sake. I’m a grown up and
I
know what’s best for me. Not you, not my mother, not Cora, not anyone. Just me.’

Edward stared at her in silence for a moment, then nodded. ‘Well. I know where I stand, then.’

‘I’m sorry, Edward.’ Lily grasped her hands tightly in front of her to stop herself reaching out to him. The last thing either of them needed now was any more mixed signals.

Edward shook his head, and gave her a half smile. ‘Do you know, I signed up for a dating agency the night you left. It was after the wedding, and I’d had a few drinks and I thought, well, if this is it…’

‘Good for you,’ Lily said, unsure what else to say.

‘I never thought I’d actually end up using it though,’ Edward added, and guilt stung her again. ‘Guess I’ll start answering some of those messages now.’

‘Good luck.’ Why didn’t he just leave? She felt bad for even thinking it, but really, why drag out this unbearable awkwardness any longer. ‘Goodbye, Edward. I’ll clear my things from the cottage this week, while you’re at work.’

‘That would be… okay.’ His smile turned sadder. ‘Goodbye, Lily.’

And then he was gone, taking the last seven years of her life with him. Lily let out a long breath, and headed into the kitchen to find Cora and Rhys.

Maybe that was the last thing she had to do before she started her new life. She’d clear her stuff from the cottage tomorrow, and then she’d be truly on her own.

Just like she wanted to be.

* * * *

Lily spent the rest of the week thinking and planning. During the day, she worked at the shop, losing herself in the concentration required to make her jewellery. She had two commissions for engagement rings and wedding bands, including Charlie Frost’s, and it felt good to focus entirely on them for hours at a time, making them perfect for the people who’d hopefully wear them for the rest of their lives.

Just because she’d discovered that marriage wasn’t right for her didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate the sentiment in others.

Which was just as well, she decided on Saturday morning as she stood in front of the boxes of clothes and accessories stacked up in Cora’s spare room, trying to find something to wear for Tessa and Jack’s wedding. She’d gone back to Edward’s cottage like she’d promised, relieved to find the place empty, and retrieved as many of her belongings as she could fit in the car. She’d have to go back again – she hadn’t realized how much stuff she had there. But with Cora’s spare room filled to bursting, it might have to wait until she found somewhere else to live. Just as well that all her work materials and tools had been moved to the shop once she’d signed the lease; Edward had always hated them cluttering up the dining room, anyway.

Only problem was, when hurriedly shoving things into bags at the cottage, formal wear hadn’t seemed like an essential must-have. Apparently she’d blanked on the two more weddings before Cora’s in her panic to get out of there. Jeans, T-shirts, the odd denim skirt and light sweater, absolutely. Flip flops and trainers, sure. Heels and a nice dress? Not a chance.

Unless…

Digging deeper into the pile of boxes Edward had brought from her mum’s house, Lily found bags of clothes bundled up, lost to memory. Dragging them out into the daylight, she stuck in a hand and pulled out armfuls of material – some slippery and silky, some light and see-through, some stiff and structured. All probably six years or more out of date, and all more suited to her eighteen-year-old self. But maybe there’d be something in there, somewhere.

An hour later, when Alex rang the doorbell, Lily smoothed down the vibrant green, cream and blue silkscreen print skirt she’d last worn to a party when visiting Cora in university, straightened the cream silk camisole she’d bought as an attempt to seduce some guy in sixth form, and fastened the pearl buttons of the sensible crew neck cardigan her mother had bought her for her seventeenth birthday over it. Slipping her feet into the dark green heels Cora had given her for Christmas that same year, Lily took one last glance at herself in the mirror and gave thanks for the fact that she’d worn her clothes baggy as a teenager. Now, they fitted perfectly. They might not have the same about-to-fall-off-her-body appeal she’d gone for then, but she looked grownup, like she’d planned the outfit. And, best of all, she looked utterly herself.

Alex’s face as she opened the door confirmed that she’d made a good choice. But it was hard for her gaze to linger on his face when the rest of him was packaged so perfectly in a charcoal suit that showcased his broad shoulders, narrow hips and long legs. His tie even harmonised with her shoes, like they’d planned it, and the creamy rose in his button hole was a perfect match for her camisole.

‘My, aren’t we going to be the pair,’ she said, her words a little breathier than intended. ‘We’re getting good at this wedding buddies thing.’

Alex didn’t answer. From the way his gaze hovered just below her collarbones, Lily imagined he was focusing in on the wisp of silk peeking out from the open neck of her cardigan. Or, more likely, the way her breasts curved above it.

A warm, powerful feeling swept through her. She might not want to get married, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun. She was only twenty-six. She’d spent seven years with a man who didn’t know her. Wasn’t now exactly the time to discover who she was again? To get out there and meet people, make friends. And the way Alex looked at her… Well, that gave her the confidence she needed. She wouldn’t be attending this wedding as Poor Lily whose relationship had collapsed, like she had at Beatrice’s. He’d almost kissed her at Carrie and Nate’s wedding, a week ago, for all his talk about settling down and finding true love. Alex might think that was what he wanted, but Lily knew better. She’d seen the way he looked at her.

Avoiding him hadn’t worked. One glimpse of him and she was craving his touch. So maybe she needed a different plan. An all-new-Lily seduction plan.

It might be one of the stupidest ideas she’d ever had, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was time to stop trying so hard to be grownup Lily who never let go. Maybe she could learn something from being the Lily Alex remembered. Wild, teenage Lily, who went after what she wanted.

And God, she wanted Alex. Especially in that suit. Not forever, but for one night, maybe she could get what she wanted. If she had the courage to go after it.

‘Just one moment,’ she said, turning away to apply a last coat of lipstick in the hall mirror. When she looked back, Alex had just about managed to raise his eyes to look at her face. She beamed at him. ‘Let’s go.’

* * * *

By the time he closed the car door and started the engine, Alex already knew he’d be leaving the car in Aberarian for the night and getting Cora to drive him down to pick it up the next day. Somehow, this was all Cora’s fault, even if he couldn’t find the justification yet. The way Lily looked… He was going to need a drink if he had any hope of making it through the day – and the evening – without holding her to him and kissing her senseless. Or stripping off that sensible cardigan to reveal whatever wisp of silk she was wearing below…

‘Do you know where we’re going?’ Lily asked, and Alex realized belatedly that he hadn’t a clue.

As he looked across, Lily reached down into the foot well of the passenger side to retrieve her bag from by her feet, and her skirt slipped higher up her long, pale legs. Alex swallowed and looked away. He was not going to seduce his cousin’s best friend. No matter how tempting she made it.

‘Alex?’ Glancing back, he saw Lily waving a wedding invitation at him. ‘There’s a map. Want me to navigate?’

‘Sure. You’re in charge.’

The smile she gave him was more than a little scary. Alex had a feeling that not just the journey, but this whole day might be totally out of his hands.

Tessa and Jack had elected for a very quiet registry office wedding, followed by a very rowdy celebration on the beach, and dinner at some up-and-coming seafood restaurant. He should be feeling relaxed, Alex thought. It was the first wedding they’d attended together where they both knew the bride and groom. Tessa and Jack had been wildly welcoming to him at the Mill, and he’d actually been invited in his own right, rather than as Lily’s plus one. He knew lots of the people in attendance; he didn’t have to spend the day explaining his lack of relationship to Lily; he wasn’t under pressure to work, because Jack’s cousin was in charge of photography for the day, and it wasn’t even the formal sort of occasion that could set his teeth on edge.

So why was he so bloody tense?

It was Lily, he decided, watching her stride barefoot across the sand, shoes dangling from her fingers, to give Tessa a wide smile and a hug. Tessa’s tight copper curls bobbed as she grinned and chatted away, her wispy white dress floating around her ankles.

Watching Lily interact with her friends, from the moment they all met at the registry office, it had almost felt like he was there with the old Lily again. And he was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one surprised by her sudden re-emergence. He’d caught a few of the other guests looking at her in astonishment, especially when she’d brushed away questions about how she was doing so casually, like she hadn’t just ripped her own life apart. Like watching other people promise to love each other forever was easy when you’d just given all that up. A very different response from the week before.